ah, yes

"I feel very old sometimes...I carry on and would not like
to die before having emptied a few more buckets of shit on
the heads of my fellow men."


--Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880), author of MADAME BOVARY

16 things to do in a bathroom stall
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that!!!

3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silience with bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh s***!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "D***, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toliet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt iterratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!!"

10. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad oftoliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor.Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

12. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

13. Say, "D***, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

14. Play a well known song on your butt cheeks over and over again.

15. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say,"Peek-a-boo!"

16. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

Money...

It can buy a House, but not a Home


It can buy a Bed, but not Sleep


It can buy a Clock, but not Time


It can buy you Status, But not Respect


It can buy you Medicine, but not Health


It can buy you Blood, but not Life


It can buy you Sex, but not Love


So you see money isn't everything -- and it often causes much pain and suffering. I tell you this because I am your Friend; and, as your Friend, I
want to take away your pain and suffering.


Send me all your money today and I will suffer for you (Cash only, please.).

an e-mail from Sat, 21 Dec 2002 (names omitted)

Hey just got back from the bar and I'm feeling pretty good. Drank about ten beer in five hours so I'm not quite drunk yet. I had a pretty good night. Talked to my X for a few minutes. I'm glad to see she isn't pissed at me anymore. Also, I bought a twelve pack from my buddy tonight. He's pretty quiet at the bar and just sits and drinks. I like to shoot pool when I'm there. Also, I found someone to hook me up with a half quarter(3.5grams) of mushrooms for New Years. Just have to come up with $35 by tommorow and I'll be all set. I seen lots of people I haven't seen since last X-mas tonight. It was quite fun. I'm dissapointed to hear that there might be a problem with your boyfriend. If you want, you can hook me up with whats happening and I might be able to clear things up. I went through an 8 month long distance relationship. I learned alot through that time. Oh, and one more thing. I'm not too comprehensive with internet lingo and don't know what ":P" means. Probably something simple but like I said I'm feeling pretty good right now so I have no clue. Well, getting the munchies so I'm going to see if there is anything good in the fridge.

Talk to you later

having a good day?
John Wilkes, and English politician noted for his firm opposition to George III, was a man of courageous liberal principles, but who led a personal life of great dissipation.

At one time, an opponent of Wilkes, shaking with rage at some quip the latter had made, said to him, "Sir, I predict you will die either on the gallows or of some loathsome disease."

To which Wilkes replied, "Which it will be depends entirely on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's been reported that John Bobbitt's porno movie grossed over 10 million. I'm not sure whether that's dollars or people." --Conan O'Brien

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"You wouldn't be intelligent enough to understand anything that I would be stupid enough to tell you anyways."

--Bill Merrill

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"You are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing more than unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!"

--Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (Lee Ermey), FULL METAL JACKET
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"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."

--THE FOUNDATION, by Isaac Asimov

The D&D Character I Am
I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Mage Cleric

Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.

Secondary Class:
Clerics are the voices of their God/desses on Earth. They perform the work of their deity, but this doesn't mean that they preach to a congregation all their lives. If their deity needs something done, they will do it, and can call upon that deity's power to accomplish their goals.

Deity:
Mystra is the Neutral Good goddess of magic. She is also known as the Lady of Mysteries. Followers of Mystra wear armor and carry shields with her symbol on them. Mystra's symbol is a ring of stars.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Somewhat Damaged
Somewhat Damaged - Nine Inch Nails

so impressed with all you do
tried so hard to be like you
flew too high and burnt the wing
lost my faith in everything

lick around divine debris
taste the wealth of hate in me
shedding skin succumb defeat
this machine is obsolete

made the choice to go away
drink the fountain of decay
tear a hole exquisite red
fuck the rest and stab it dead

broken bruised forgotten sore
too fucked up to care anymore
poisoned to my rotten core
too fucked up to care anymore

broken bruised forgotten sore
too fucked up to care anymore
poisoned to my rotten core
too fucked up to care anymore

in the back
off the side
far away
is a place
where i hide
where i stay

tried to say
tried to ask
i needed to
all alone
by myself
where were you?

how could i
ever think
it's funny how
everything that swore it wouldn't change
is different now

just like you
would always say
we'll make it through
then my head
fell apart
and where were you?

how could i
ever think
it's funny how
everything you swore would never change
is different now

like you said
you and me
make it through
didn't quite
fell apart
where the fuck were you?





this one speaks clearly what i'd like to say most but can't... to all the people who fucked me over when i was younger - why?!

i'm tired...
i haven't had the time to bitch, whine and moan recently. i'm tired. worn out. but it was fun (was that a positive statement? wow...).

here's something to think about... again... because i haven't met anyone who hasn't seen the Matrix at least once.

"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with
the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on
this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure."

--Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving), The Matrix




-just smile and say hello to people. nod at them. they'll either appreciate it because they're nice, or get creeped out because they're not used to kindness... and turn into jerks later on.

things i hate

i'm in an irritable mood right now. probably from overstudying and lack of socialization.


so i've compilled a list of a few things i hate. for your viewing pleasure, here they are.


1. the colour pink
2. insomnia
3. bright sunlight
4. large social gatherings with family
5. when pets die
6. sound of a ringing phone when i've just fallen asleep
7. CELL PHONES
8. mornings
9. overly cheery people
10. mind games
11. guilt trips
12. exams
13. chores


maybe next time i'll have a list of things i like.

i haven't even seen this movie...

Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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