Friday, 16 January 2004
Part of Me - Linkin Park
Part of me won?t go away. Every day reminded how much I hated it. Weighted against the consequences, Can?t live without it so it?s senseless. Wanna cut it out of my soul and just live with a gaping hole. Take control of my life and wash out all the burnt taste I made the problems in the first place. Hang my head low ?cause its part of me. Ya hardly see right next to the heart of me. Heard of me the routine scar New cuts cover where the old ones are and now I?m sick of this. I can?t stand the sandpaper thoughts that grate on my sanity. I?d rather not even be the the man that?s staring in the mirror through me. Cut myself free willingly stop just what?s killing me. Cut myself free willingly stop just what?s killing me. Cut myself free willingly stop just what?s killing me. Cut myself free willingly stop just what?s killing me. I feel it everyday. I feel I made my way I feel it swell up inside, Swell up inside. Swallowing me! Freedom can be frightening if you?ve never felt it Once it?s been dealt with you feel like you?ve been touched by something angelic and then melted down into a pool of peace. Cease to be the animal you used to be. Removed the broken parts you know were wrong, and feel the calm when the problems all gone, and then you start to see another piece of yourself that you can?t let be. Memories of the last fight to free yourself take it to the depths at the bottom of the well and now you know that you can chose to lose the part in your heart where your insides bruise. You can live if you?re willing to. Put a stop to just what?s killing you. Cut myself free willingly stop just what?s killing me. Cut myself free willingly stop just what?s killing me. Cut myself free willingly stop just what?s killing me. Cut myself free willingly stop just what?s killing me. I feel it everyday I feel I made my way I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, Swallowing me Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams away silently Alive in me, inside of me, this part of me won't go away part of me won't go away. This part of me won't go away, (Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams desperately silently.) A part of me won't go away. (Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams desperately silently.) Everywhere I look around I see how everything ought to be. Every time I see myself there's always something wrong with me. I feel it everyday I feel I made my way I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside Swallowing me I feel it everyday I feel I made my way I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside Swallowing me
Thursday, 15 January 2004
hey hey, lookie here!
When i kill myself i'll... |
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Since you're such a "morbid" and "gothic" person, it probably would be most ideal to slit your wrists. Just think of the expression of your loved ones faces when they find you snow white in a deep red bath of your own blood. A suicide note carved into yourself would also be a cool addition, but hey its your body ... oh and don't forget to give your soul to Satan, I'm pretty sure he has dibs anyway.
Tuesday, 13 January 2004
ah, yes
"I feel very old sometimes...I carry on and would not like to die before having emptied a few more buckets of shit on the heads of my fellow men."
--Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880), author of MADAME BOVARY
16 things to do in a bathroom stall
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?" 2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that!!! 3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silience with bodily function noise. 4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before." 5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh s***!! My glass eye!!" 6. Say "D***, this water is cold." 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toliet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly. 8. Say, "Now how did that get there?" 9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt iterratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!!" 10. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters" 11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad oftoliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor.Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please? 12. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot" 13. Say, "D***, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?" 14. Play a well known song on your butt cheeks over and over again. 15. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say,"Peek-a-boo!" 16. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
Money...
It can buy a House, but not a Home
It can buy a Bed, but not Sleep
It can buy a Clock, but not Time
It can buy you Status, But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine, but not Health
It can buy you Blood, but not Life
It can buy you Sex, but not Love
So you see money isn't everything -- and it often causes much pain and suffering. I tell you this because I am your Friend; and, as your Friend, I want to take away your pain and suffering.
Send me all your money today and I will suffer for you (Cash only, please.).
an e-mail from Sat, 21 Dec 2002 (names omitted)
Hey just got back from the bar and I'm feeling pretty good. Drank about ten beer in five hours so I'm not quite drunk yet. I had a pretty good night. Talked to my X for a few minutes. I'm glad to see she isn't pissed at me anymore. Also, I bought a twelve pack from my buddy tonight. He's pretty quiet at the bar and just sits and drinks. I like to shoot pool when I'm there. Also, I found someone to hook me up with a half quarter(3.5grams) of mushrooms for New Years. Just have to come up with $35 by tommorow and I'll be all set. I seen lots of people I haven't seen since last X-mas tonight. It was quite fun. I'm dissapointed to hear that there might be a problem with your boyfriend. If you want, you can hook me up with whats happening and I might be able to clear things up. I went through an 8 month long distance relationship. I learned alot through that time. Oh, and one more thing. I'm not too comprehensive with internet lingo and don't know what ":P" means. Probably something simple but like I said I'm feeling pretty good right now so I have no clue. Well, getting the munchies so I'm going to see if there is anything good in the fridge.
Talk to you later
having a good day?
John Wilkes, and English politician noted for his firm opposition to George III, was a man of courageous liberal principles, but who led a personal life of great dissipation. At one time, an opponent of Wilkes, shaking with rage at some quip the latter had made, said to him, "Sir, I predict you will die either on the gallows or of some loathsome disease." To which Wilkes replied, "Which it will be depends entirely on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "It's been reported that John Bobbitt's porno movie grossed over 10 million. I'm not sure whether that's dollars or people." --Conan O'Brien ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You wouldn't be intelligent enough to understand anything that I would be stupid enough to tell you anyways." --Bill Merrill ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing more than unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!" --Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (Lee Ermey), FULL METAL JACKET ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Violence is the last resort of the incompetent." --THE FOUNDATION, by Isaac Asimov
Friday, 12 December 2003
The D&D Character I Am
I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Mage Cleric
Alignment: Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'.
Race: Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.
Primary Class: Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.
Secondary Class: Clerics are the voices of their God/desses on Earth. They perform the work of their deity, but this doesn't mean that they preach to a congregation all their lives. If their deity needs something done, they will do it, and can call upon that deity's power to accomplish their goals.
Deity: Mystra is the Neutral Good goddess of magic. She is also known as the Lady of Mysteries. Followers of Mystra wear armor and carry shields with her symbol on them. Mystra's symbol is a ring of stars.
Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)
Thursday, 11 December 2003
Somewhat Damaged
Somewhat Damaged - Nine Inch Nails so impressed with all you do tried so hard to be like you flew too high and burnt the wing lost my faith in everything lick around divine debris taste the wealth of hate in me shedding skin succumb defeat this machine is obsolete made the choice to go away drink the fountain of decay tear a hole exquisite red fuck the rest and stab it dead broken bruised forgotten sore too fucked up to care anymore poisoned to my rotten core too fucked up to care anymore broken bruised forgotten sore too fucked up to care anymore poisoned to my rotten core too fucked up to care anymore in the back off the side far away is a place where i hide where i stay tried to say tried to ask i needed to all alone by myself where were you? how could i ever think it's funny how everything that swore it wouldn't change is different now just like you would always say we'll make it through then my head fell apart and where were you? how could i ever think it's funny how everything you swore would never change is different now like you said you and me make it through didn't quite fell apart where the fuck were you? this one speaks clearly what i'd like to say most but can't... to all the people who fucked me over when i was younger - why?!
Sunday, 7 December 2003
i'm tired...
i haven't had the time to bitch, whine and moan recently. i'm tired. worn out. but it was fun (was that a positive statement? wow...). here's something to think about... again... because i haven't met anyone who hasn't seen the Matrix at least once. "I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure." --Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving), The Matrix -just smile and say hello to people. nod at them. they'll either appreciate it because they're nice, or get creeped out because they're not used to kindness... and turn into jerks later on.
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