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Hello and welcome to the lair that makes every wannabe cringe. So store away those skimpy little dresses, put away the enormous shoes, take your hair out of those cute little pig-tails, and enjoy :) ( A friend sent me these poems.... don't know where she got them.... if they're yours, yell at me!)
Emma Visits The Farm
Emma sees the dogs, who run and play
Emma sees the cats, who sleep all day
Emma sees the mice, who say "Squeak, squeak!"
Emma sees the farmer's wife who cooks and sweeps.
Emma sees the lambs who say bah & bleat
Emma sees the fresh eggs ready to beat
Emma sees the mules who bray
Emma sees the horses who plow & neigh
Emma sees the cows who chew their cud & moo
Why look, Emma - they're just like you!
Poor Victoria
Vicki, Vicki, what a mess
Poor little Vicki only has one dress
Tiny and black, very revealing
In fact, I have underwear that are less revealing
Your hair is like an animal who's dead
That you used to disguise you've nothing in your head
Vicki, dear Vicki, you don't have big thighs
But what in God's name did you do with your eyes?
Are You a Spice Girl Fan?
How do you know if you're a Spice Girls fan?
Well read this and you will see.
You wish you were like those bitchy sluts,
And love their crap song "Wannabe".
You write in everything you e-mail to me,
"Grow up and get a life"
And should you pay me a visit
You'll be sure to come with a knife.
You know that Geri's a stripper and all,
But you'd be her anyday
You know that Mel B is full of crap
But you'd take her side anyway
You really think their catchy cry "Girl Power!"
Means more than the advertising trick
You think that whoever hates these hookers
Is homo, gay or geek.
Zigazigah to you is a vocabulary word
But fear not you may still have a future.
Free your mind of spicy thoughts
Instead of doubt and danger,
So here's my message to Spice Girl fans
You have my heartfelt pity
Convert quick into anti-spice-er
Meanwhile you have our sympathy.
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