Stacie and Kerri sat on the couch at Erica's house while she wrapped up a phone conversation with Taylor. They had all decided to go to the annual fair at a local Tulsa church. Usually they never went to these sort of functions but there was nothing else to do and they all wanted to spend as much time together as possible since the guys were leaving for their promotional tour in a matter of days.
"They'll be right over." Erica said hanging up the phone and turning to face Stacie and Kerri.
Kerri fiddled with the zipper on her jacket,"The damn zipper-thinger fell off..." she mumbled to herself inspecting the damage.
"I can't believe we have to walk." Stacie said exasperated. She was accustomed to driving everywhere since she had her liscence and when all of the others opted to walk in lieu of staying indoors, she was not very enthusiastic about it.
"The walk will do us good, besides, it's only three blocks, it won't kill you." Kerri pointed out.
"Actually it might be five blocks and that is so drastically long. I mean five whole city blocks! We might as well be running the New York Marathon." Erica mocked.
"That's right. Just make fun of me." Stacie pouted.
Ding Dong
"Let's go." Erica instructed as she grabbed her adidas windbreaker that was hanging on the back of a chair in the living room.
The girls walked to the door where the boys were waiting. Isaac and Stacie exchanged a kiss, Zac and Kerri exchanged a warm embrace, and Taylor went to kiss Erica but she turned her head and he got her cheek.
"Let's go." she said nervously after she locked the front door.
"I hope the rides don't suck this year." Zac said as he stepped off the front porch.
"I heard that the Ferris Wheel is huge this year." Kerri told him.
Zac laughed,"That's for wimps."
Kerri nodded,"Yeah, the perfect ride for you."
"I like the Ferris Wheel." Erica spoke up in defense of the beloved ride.
"We'll have to go on that then." Taylor said as he put his arm around her waist.
She pushed his arm away lightly and held his hand instead.
Taylor threw Isaac a weird look. What was going on?
Ever since the day when Taylor and Erica almost had sex she could barley stand him touching her. She thought that he was expecting too much and she didn't want to give him what he just assumed he could take.
They walked to the fair in silence. Once they arrived they pretty much seperated. Zac and Kerri found a wimpy little rollercoaster that they planned to ride and make fun of and Stacie and Isaac headed for the cotten candy since they were the sugar freaks of the group.
"Be back at the ticket booth at nine-thirty!" Isaac called to everyone over his shoulder.
Taylor turned to Erica,"Two hours. Where to first?"
Erica shrugged.
"Well, you said you like the Ferris Wheel so how about there?" Taylor suggested.
"Sure." she said taking his hand as they walked towards the line. They both gave the ride operator their two tickets and then climbed into the seat. They slowly went up and around a few times before getting stuck at the top.
"Look! There's Kerri and Zac!" Taylor said leaning forward and pointing to the wimpy rollercoaster line.
As he leaned forward the basket swayed. Erica clutched onto Taylor's jacket and buried her face in his sleeve,"Please don't shake the seat Taylor. I hate heights."
Taylor snickered,"Since when?"
"Since always okay? I just don't like heights, especially when I'm at the top of a piece of man-made junk that could collapse at any moment!" she snapped.
Taylor put his arm around her,"It's okay, nothing's going to happen...oh my God I just saw a screw fall off!" he yelled looking past her.
"Where!?" she shrieked clutching onto him.
Taylor burst out in laughter,"Just kidding!"
She pushed him into the edge of the seat,"You're a jerk." she huffed crossing her arms and cautiously peering over the edge.
"I was just joking, I was trying to ease the tension. Besides you're the one who wanted to come on the Ferris Wheel in the first place." he pointed out.
"I know," she said through clenched teeth,"I just don't like getting stuck at the top. And I don't like it when you sway the seat."
He took hold of her hand,"Don't worry, I won't let you fall." he grinned.
"Well the law of gravity strictly prohibits that..." she trailed off as he leaned over quickly and pressed his lips to hers. She pulled away slightly.
"What?" he asked staring at her.
She looked straight ahead and didn't say anything.
"Why won't you let me touch you?" he asked confused.
"What's Isaac doing?" Erica asked trying to change the subject.
"Oh, who gives a rats ass." Taylor mumbled as he slumped down in the seat. The ride started again.
"Dude, I knew that rollercoaster would suck!" Zac said as the walked home from the fair.
"You never said that." Kerri told him.
"Yes I did," Zac said defiantly,"I said it right before it started."
"Yeah I'm sure." Kerri said nodding.
Zac groaned.
"Cut it out." Taylor snapped kicking a rock and shoving his hands deeper in his pockets.
"Taylor what the hell is your problem? Do you have one of my drumsticks stuck up your ass or what?" Zac laughed.
Taylor just rolled his eyes and chose not to retaliate.
"Hey Twig! Did you hear me?" Zac yelled, determined to anger his older brother.
"Keep walking Zac." Isaac said kicking his brother on the ass.
Kerri laughed.
"Why does everyone pick on me?" Zac whined pathetically and soulfully for the fact to be annoying.
"Because everything is your fault," Isaac snapped,"Now shut-up!"
"Well, this is me." Kerri said stopping in front of her house. Zac gave her a quick hug and kissed her cheek.
Stacie and Erica glanced at each other and smiled. The age of innocence. The time when a kiss could just be a kiss and didn't have to lead to anything more. They both missed those days.
They waited until Kerri was safley inside before walking again. Next Stacie was dropped off. Isaac walked her to her door and kissed her like a true gentleman. Erica and Zac goofed around pretending to beat each other up with sticks on the sidewalk while Taylor stood quietly by himself, feeling like an outsider.
Isaac rejoined them moments later. They all continued walking to their houses. Isaac and Zac and Erica were joking around like always, Taylor silently pondered whether or not he was going to Erica's as planned.
"Hey Ike, remember that time when you tried to ride your bike with no hands and ran into the side of my house?" Erica asked laughing.
Isaac chuckled,"Oh God that hurt. I had a headache for a month. I must have damaged something."
"And that's why you are the way you are." Zac jumped in.
"Shut-up Zac, you're more whacked out than I am." Isaac laughed.
"Aah yes, but it is a choice I made long ago that I am proud to live with." Zac informed them.
Erica laughed at them. She glanced at Taylor who had a weird expression on his face. He looked distant and deep in thought, almost as if he wanted to be someplace else, wherever his mind was. Erica stopped laughing as she wondered what he was thinking.
Little experiences between him and Erica were clicking through Taylor's mind and he wondered just how much they could go through together when they had already been through so much...
It didn't bother him though...he was Taylor she was Erica and that is how they had always been...They were basically best friends...no matter what anyone said...He wanted to hold her again and let her tell him everything she thought at that moment, but he was glued to the sidewalk and he couldn't bring the words past the lump in his throat... She hasn't changed, she is Erica and has always been the same she won't be any different...He realized with his new lifestyle he wasn't going to be there all the time and that killed him. They were best friends and there was no way they could stay as close as they were and there was no way they could watch each other grow up from across the country... "I think that I really like you."..." I think we should go out."...She looked beautiful with her hair all wet and hanging in her face with tiny water droplets running in her eyes...He closed his eyes while she ran her hands through his hair..."I don't know what I'd do with myself without you!"...Just the thought of not being able to hold her made him want to die... He stayed there holding her hand and stroking her hair as she drifted off to sleep... Taylor believed that Erica's eyes were the key to her emotions, you could always tell what she was thinking and feeling by the look she gave you at that moment... Taylor glanced at Erica. She was staring back in concern. He knew then that they needed to talk.
Once Erica saw that Taylor caught her staring at him she looked straight ahead. What was he thinking about? she wondered. She didn't like the look on his face. The look of concern and worry that he always gave her when something bad was going to happen or he knew that he had to do something that he didn't want to do. So what was happening to them? That's what she wanted to know. Where did they stand?
"I think Erica is more whacked out than the both of us, Ike." Zac laughed.
Erica snapped back to reality,"What? Oh yeah right." she said sarcastically.
Ike and Zac just laughed as they veered over to their house. Erica headed towards hers with Taylor following closely behind. She got to her front door and unlocked it,"Goodnight Tay." she said as she opened the door, praying that whatever he wanted to say would not come out.
All of a sudden his arm crossed the doorframe blocking her from going inside,"Can I come in?" he asked steadily, his voice revealing no emotion.
She stared at him. His face was creased in worry. She debated whether or not to let him in. Did she really want to hear what he had to say? No. Was she going to let him in though,"Uh sure, but only for a minute." of course she was.
He lowered his arm and let her pass. Then he walked in and shut the door behind himself.
"So what do you..." she started, trying to get this over with quickly and with as little pain as possible.
"Can we sit in the living room to talk?" he asked urgently.
She sighed,"Taylor I don't have time for these games." What a lie. She had all the time in the world to listen to what he had to say but, he wanted to sit down to talk, sitting was never good.
His eyes burned into hers,"Please."
She studied him for about a minute before agreeing. They walked into the living room and sat down. He sat there with his elbows on his knees, hunched forward and staring at his hands.
Erica tucked her hair behind her ears,"So, talk." she said.
"Would you just give me a minute, it's not that easy!" he snapped glaring at her.
Erica winced and lowered her eyes. She was shocked at his tone, he had never yelled at her before.
Taylor groaned inwardly. He just wanted to have a conversation and then here he was biting her head off,"Sorry." he said quietly as he looked away.
Erica nodded.
"Okay look," he said rubbing his palms on his thighs,"I don't know why you're acting all weird all of a sudden. If it is because we practically had sex well then I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was such an insult for me to touch you."
"It's not like..." she started.
"Wait a minute, let me say this. I didn't plan it, you know that, or at least you should know that. And I would never try to take advantage of you in anyway. Ever. I hope you know that. You mean so much to me Erica, you'll never know how much. I care about you and I just want you to be happy." he finished.
"I am happy." she said.
He cocked his eyebrow,"Are you?"
"So you think I'm not?" she asked him.
"I don't know," he ran his hands through his hair,"I mean what if you were right?" he asked standing up.
"Right about what?" she asked confused.
"What if I am only hurting you in the long run like you said? What if you could do great without me? I mean I am going to be gone alot more than I am now, and we can't even take this little trip! What if our whole relationship is just convinient?" he asked staring at her.
"What do you mean convinient?" she asked.
Taylor hesitated as he tried to find the right words,"When I came back I was fourteen, and still am. You are fourteen in under a month. We reached the age of having a girl or boyfriend. We knew we hated being apart and somehow the thought of going out made us seem closer. Instead of going out and trying to find someone we just took advantage of what was right in front of us."
"So," Erica said trying to make sense of what Taylor just threw at her,"you are either trying to say that you regret asking me out or you are trying to break up with me and this is the easy let down."
"Oh God no," he said sitting down by her again,"that is not what I am saying or doing."
"Well what am I supposed to think when you tell me that our relationship is just convinient?" she asked clearly upset.
"I'm just afraid that I am going to end up really hurting you. I think I already have, you can't even touch me anymore." he choked out putting his head down.
Tears filled Erica's eyes and she wrapped her arms around him. His head glided onto her shoulder and she cradled him in her arms.
"If I'm hurting you in anyway, tell me. We'll end everything right now." he whispered.
She froze. How could he leave such a decision to her? She cared about him so much that it hurt, but she couldn't live the rest of her life like this. She couldn't wait around forever, but she couldn't just leave either. It wasn't fair at all.
He pulled back and stared at her,"Erica?"
She stared into his eyes. What did she want? Her best friend or her boyfriend? Could she just let him go? Maybe it would be better for the both of them. But the thought of not having what they had now made her want to cry. They had grown so much closer since they started going out, if they stopped, would they drift apart?
"I don't..." she stopped and closed her eyes. She felt his hand on her cheek. She sighed and lost herself in his touch. She started to move her face closer to his.
Taylor licked his lips. He wanted to kiss her now too, but she didn't answer his question. Did she still want him? Did she still need him. He stopped her,"Decide." he said.
Erica looked at him,"I don't want to let you go."
Taylor let out a sigh of relief,"Really?"
She nodded.
"I won't hurt you on purpose, ever. I promise." he told her.
She smiled at him and put her hand up to his cheek.
He stared into her eyes,"I..." he stopped.
"You what?" she asked.
"I have to go." he replied. What was this? Why couldn't he say he loved her?
"Yeah, it is pretty late," she agreed standing up,"and I have school tomorrow."
"Oh that's right, well me and Ike will pick you up ok?" he asked as they walked to the door.
"Sure, just be right out front." she instructed.
He slipped his hand into hers and gently kissed her,"Goodnight."
She smiled,"Goodnight."
Erica walked through the halls of high school self-consciously. A sophmore. This wasn't going to be easy. Everyone had sorted into groups during freshman year, now she was stuck basically alone.
She tugged on her skirt as she studied the piece of paper that held her schedule. Homeroom 211. Where was she now? D16? D? Now where did she go?
A big African-American man in a suit walked towards her,"Hey darlin', do you need some help?"
"Yes," she said through a sigh as she smiled at him, greatful that he would help,"I am so lost. I just started here today and I have no idea where to go." she told him.
"Well, I'm the principal, Mr. Warren. Let me see your schedule and I'll tell you where to go." he said sticking out his hand.
She gave him her schedule,"Ok," he said," you go straight down this hall and make a left at the end. Go up the stairs to your right, two flights, then turn right and that's the 200 wing. Your homeroom is on the right side." he said handing her schedule back.
She smiled,"Thank you so much."
She carefully followed his directions and ended up outside of the door to 211. She took in a deep breath. You can do this she thought as she opened the door and stepped in.
The room fell unbelievably silent. Friends stopped talking about their summer vacations and new clothes to gawk at this stranger. Erica shifted uncomfortably under their gazes.
"Erica Patten?" the teacher asked.
She nodded. Her throat had gone unbelievably dry.
"Okay, your seat is right behind Alex. Alex raise your hand." the teacher instructed. A bored looking kid picked up his arm for about a second.
Erica walked over to her desk and sat down, thankful to be out of everyone's gaze. She crossed her legs and started to doodle on her notebook cover.
"Hi Erica." a familiar voice said.
Erica looked next to her,"Mike? Hi, I didn't know you went here." she said flashing him a smile.
He nodded,"How come your're late?"
She rolled her eyes,"I got lost, I swear I'm so blonde."
He laughed,"Can I see your schedule?"
She nodded and handed him her schedule.
He looked it over,"We have four classes together." he stated.
"Which ones?" she asked thankful that she would know someone.
"Biology, English, Lunch and Spanish." he rattled off.
"Oh cool." she smiled.
"Hey Alex!" Mike said, kicking the desk of the kid in front of her.
"Yeah what?" he growled turning around.
"Erica here has first period Geometry with you, be nice and take her to her class." Mike instructed.
Alex gave Erica the once over,"No problem."
"Great," he said before turning his attention back to Erica,"I'll get you after first period and we'll go to Biology and then English."
Erica nodded,"Thank you so much."
"Hmmm, you have History fourth," he bit his lip and looked thoughtful.
"That's my class!" the kid behind Mike exclaimed.
"Oh good, Todd will take you to fourth then." Mike said.
"Okay great, you don't really have to worry about it though, it's okay if I don't know someone everywhere." she told him.
"Don't worry about it, I'm getting you some friends. Hey Samantha!" he yelled across the row.
A very ditzy girl turned,"What Mike?"
"Can you and your friends take my friend Erica here to fifth period with you?" he asked biting off his words.
The girls gaze shifted over to Erica,"Sure."
Mike turned back to Erica and mumbled,"That's the ex-girlfriend."
Erica glanced at her,"Oh." she said.
"She's a real bitch but, if she gives you any trouble just tell me." he whispered and then smiled,"After fifth with Samantha is lunch and then I'll find you and we'll figure out the rest of the day." he told her.
Samantha, who had been eavesdropping, turned to her friend Nicole,"Who does she think she is? She walks in here and is automatically hanging out with Mike and his friends?"
"I know, it's like, eew." Nicole agreed.
"She is not going to be that popular, I'm sorry, no." Samantha said popping her gum.
"Well what are you going to do?" Nicole asked putting on a fresh coat of lip gloss.
"I don't know yet," Samantha said glaring at Erica,"but she'll get it."
The bell rang.
Erica sat in Geometry with Alex next to her. The teacher was talking about notebooks that they would need for the year when he passed her a note:
So how long have you known Mike?
Erica pulled out her pen:
I met him over the summer.
And...?
And what? We're friends.
Oh...well you're lucky.
Why?
Because you're new and we are like practically the most popular people in our grade and you chill with us now.
Well that doesn't really matter to me.
It will though. You'll get alot of special treatment if you hang with us.
Erica just stared at the last thing Alex wrote. Special treatment? What kind of special treatment? The bell rang before Erica's thoughts could be completed.
"Mike will be here soon, wait outside the door." Alex instructed as he left the classroom.
Erica nodded and went outside to lean against the lockers and wait for Mike.
"Erica?"
She turned,"Jeff, hi!" she said hugging him.
"Hey, I've been looking for you. Tay said that you were starting here." he said.
"I completley forgot that you went here." she told him.
"No problem, I'm always forgotten." he said smiling.
"Awe, no you're not." she told him.
He shrugged,"Where do you go now? Do you need a guide?"
"Biology, D14." she told him after glancing at her schedule.
"Hey that's my class too, want me to walk you there?" he asked her.
"Well," she said glancing up and down the hall,"I was supposed to be waiting for someone but, he's not here so, let's go." she said.
They walked down the packed halls of the high school and into the Biology room. Just as they were walking through the door, Mike called out Erica's name from behind.
She turned,"Hey!"
Jeff stared at Mike wide-eyed as he walked up to them,"That's who you were waiting for?" he whispered to her.
Erica gave him a strange look,"Yeah why?"
Mike walked up to them,"Hey Erica, how come you didn't wait for me?" he asked.
"Oh, well my boyfriends friend Jeff came along so I walked with him, I hope you don't mind." she said.
Mike sneered at Jeff,"Your boyfriends friend huh?" he looked back at Erica and smiled,"No, it's no problem."
Jeff grabbed Erica's elbow,"Come on, let's sit down." he said pulling her away from Mike.
"What's you problem Jeff?" Erica asked when they were sitting down.
"That's Mike Holandale." Jeff told her.
"Yeah, so?" Erica asked glancing at Mike who was in the corner of the room surrounded by three or four girls.
"So what?" Jeff asked in disbelief,"Mike the guy that the girls adore. Mike the big, tough, football player that will get killed just to get a touchdown. Mike the guy that is never alone on a Friday or Saturday night. Mike the guy that sweet talks all of the girls, even the ones with boyfriends. The guy that every guy in this whole damn school wants to be and every girl wants to let down her pants." Jeff informed her.
Erica rolled her eyes,"You watch too much T.V."
Jeff grabbed her arm,"Don't leave Tay for him."
"Leave Tay? What are you babbling about?" she asked shaking him off of her arm.
Mike came and sat down on the other side of Erica,"You know, I almost forgot to tell you how great you look." he smiled at her.
Erica blushed and was just about to accept the compliment when Jeff jumped in,"Oh back off asshole! Jerk off on your own time!"
Mike laughed and then shrugged and turned around to talk to the girl on the other side of him.
"Erica wait up!" Jeff called chasing after her down the front stairs at two-thirty.
"Leave me alone." she said walking faster.
He started to run and he leapt in front of her putting his hands on her shoulders,"Stop!"
She crossed her arms,"What?"
"Why are you so mad at me?" he asked her.
"Gee, I don't know, let's retrace your steps back to second period Biology today shall we?" she said sarcastically.
"Because I called that asshole an asshole?" Jeff asked in disbelief.
"We are not having this conversation." Erica said pushing past him.
A couple of kids watching jeered at Jeff,"Oooh she dissed you!"
Jeff turned around and went after her,"Oh, I think we are."
Erica kept walking, trying to ignore him.
Jeff stopped,"Wait a minute, you wanted him to hit on you didn't you?"
Erica stopped and turned around. He studied her face,"That is it." he said nodding.
Erica walked up to him,"That is not what's going on here. That is not why I'm mad. You were being a jerk!"
Jeff laughed in her face,"Oh, I'm the jerk?"
Erica nodded,"Yeah. It's my first day here and I was actually fitting in. One of the most popular guys in the school wanted to walk me to my classes and even saw it fit to give me a compliment and you called him an asshole. So yes, you were being the jerk!"
Jeff kept laughing,"You know, I find that very funny, I'm sure Taylor will too."
"Go ahead and tell him. I didn't even answer Mike, remember? You stood up for me, you being a great friend and all." Erica said sarcastically.
Honk Honk
Erica turned to see Isaac and Taylor sitting in the car waiting for her. She glanced at Jeff and then walked towards the car.
"Hey." Taylor said climbing out of the car and giving Erica a quick kiss,"How was the first day?"
"It was good." she said smiling.
Jeff came up to them,"Hey Tay." he said bumping hands with him.
"Hey man, what's up?" Tay asked.
Erica glanced at Jeff as he answered,"Not alot."
"Oh," Tay said raising his eyebrows,"did you two see each other at all today?"
"Yeah, we have a class together." Erica replied as she climbed into the back off the car and said hi to Isaac.
"Oh, that's cool. So you have a friend." Tay said as he climbed into the front seat.
Jeff leaned on the door and looked at Erica in the back,"Yeah she has alot. She's quite the little friend maker."
Erica lowered her eyes.
Taylor turned around and smiled at her,"That's great."
She forced a smile,"Yeah."
"Yeah, she's great," Jeff said,"definatley someone I'd keep my eye on."
Erica glanced at him quickly.
"Well see ya later." Jeff said pulling away from the car.
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