Erica dawdled down her street. She could barely believe that she was cuttting school. Her mother would kill her when she found out. Well, if she found it. No matter what happened, Erica promised herself not to tell her mother the events at school today. She would just refuse to go back to school. She felt bad about it because that meant that her mother would have to quit her job to homeschool her again.
As Erica neared her house she noticed that someone was sitting on her front steps. At first glance it seemed like Taylor. She sighed and looked at her shoes. She didn't want to see Taylor at this particular moment. As she came closer though, she realized that it wasn't Taylor. It was Isaac. She walked up to him,"Hi." she said unsurly. Why was he waiting for her?
He glanced at his watch,"Shouldn't you be in school?" he asked.
She sighed,"Shouldn't you be in class?"
Isaac shrugged,"What's the point, I'm not talking to anyone anyway. In fact, you're the only person I've talked to since the, uh, thing."
She nodded as she pulled out her key,"Yeah, Tay mentioned that you weren't talking."
He shrugged again,"I don't exactly have alot to say."
She unlocked the door,"Coming in?" she asked over her shoulder.
He nodded and pulled himself off of the steps and followed her into the house. She dropped her stuff on the floor near the table by the door,"How about some coffe?" she asked leading him into the kitchen.
"Sure." he replied numbly as he follwered her into the kitchen and sat down at the island.
"So," she said as she flipped on the coffe pot and then took a seat at the island in the kitchen,"how come I'm the one you came to talk to?"
He stared across the island at her,"Because I need you to forgive me."
"For what?" she asked confused.
"For killing Stacie." he replied.
She looked at him like he had grown another head,"What are you talking about?"
The coffee machine beeped and she got up to pour two cups.
He dropped his head in his hands,"I can't sleep. I can barely eat. I haven't cried, not even once, since she died. It's because I killed her."
Erica shook her head,"Isaac, do you seriously..."
He cut her off,"It was raining that day, Erica. Do you remember?"
She set a cup of coffee down in front of him,"Of course."
He nodded and paused as the aroma or the coffee filled his nostrils,"That was the day she told me her secret. She told me she loved me, Erica. But, I didn't want to hear it, I didn't care. It hurt that she thought she couldn't be honest with me from day one. So I told her that I hated her and I threw her out of my house. I kicked her out into the rain, into the cold night and killed her..."he trailed off.
"Isaac," Erica said tearing her cup of coffee away from her lips and giving him a sympathetic glance,"you didn't kill her."
Isaac knocked his cup off of the island,"Yes I did!" he shouted over the sound of the cup smashing into dozens of pieces. The coffee oozed from the pieces and traveled thickly across the floor. Isaac watched,"Like blood." he murmured as he watched the coffee leak into the grooves between the tiles.
Erica stared at him hard,"Stop it, Isaac."
His eyes shot up to her and then back down to the spilt coffee and the broken cup that lay all over the floor,"I'm sorry." he apologized quietly as he sat down on the floor and started to pick it up.
Erica slided off of her chair and onto the floor next to him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he apologized again as he tried to pick up the pieces with shaky hands.
"Isaac, it's okay." she said calmly as she placed her hands on his.
He stared into her eyes and leaned back against the island,"I can't live knowing that I can never be forgiven." he admitted.
Erica sat next to him,"Isaac, I know if she were here that she would forgive you."
He closed his eyes,"You don't know that." he sighed.
She stroked his cheek with her hand and studied his face carefully. It was like watching a heart break when his bottom lip began to tremble,"Open your eyes." she instructed.
He opened them and stared at her through his sad, brown, puppy dog eyes.
She gave him a comforting glance,"I know my cousin. And she loved you, you can't deny that. So you have to trust me when I tell you that she knows you love her too and that you don't hate her. She knows that if you could have done anything to save her life, you would have." She paused,"We both would have." she added quietly.
Isaac's eyes filled with tears and he put his hand over the one she had on his cheek,"It hurts so bad," he placed her hand on his heart,"in here more than anything."
Erica's eyes filled with tears too,"I know." She studied his face again,"I'll tell you a secret. I haven't cried since the day Stacie died either."
Isaac stared at her in amazement.
She nodded to confirm what she had just said,"So let's make a deal," her eyes watered over,"I won't tell if you don't." she offered.
A fresh tear fell down Isaac's face as he nodded in agreement. She gave him a sad smile ans they both began to cry. She cradled Isaac to her when he began to sob. She felt his tears on her shoulder as they soaked through her shirt. They cried for Stacie, a beautiful life taken so suddenly. They cried for all the things she could have done, the things she could have been. They cried for the love and care that was now lost and they cried for themselves and their loss. They just sat there crying admist the broken coffee cup and spilt coffee.
Taylor sat on his front steps playing with a yo-yo. He hated the damn things so he wasn't really sure why he was playing with one. Probably because no one else was around. Zac was off doing perverted, sexual things with Kerri. Taylor missed those things, and Erica now that he thought about it. He missed the way her tounge would caress the inside of his mouth as he placed his hands on top of her breasts that seemed the perfect size for his hand. He shook those thoughts from his head quickly. Isaac was off somewhere, probably on one of his long walks were he thinks about everything and nothing. Taylor didn't want him around anyway because he never had any fun with Ike anymore. He used to have more fun with Erica anyway, but she's gone now. Off with Mike caressing his tounge, and whatever else she was putting her mouth on. Now he was frustrated because he could never get the yo-yo to come back to him,"Story of my life." he muttered as he tossed it aside.
He drummed his fingers on the stairs on yawned. Just another boring day in Tulsa, OK. Hey! That rhymed! Hmmm, that could be a song in the making. I should write that down. he thought to himself. He looked down the front walk to see Jeff coming towards him. Taylor squinted in the sunlight,"Hey man! Wassup?" he asked.
Jeff stood in front of him and crossed his arms,"I'm waiting." he announced as he glared down at him.
Taylor raised his eyebrows,"Okay." he said slowly.
Jeff cocked an eybrow and stared at him. Taylor drummed his fingers on the stairs again,"Waiting for what?" he asked finally.
Jeff dropped his arms,"Dude, I am your best fucking friend! Just tell me!"
Taylor bit his lip for a minute,"Is this about me taking your gummy worms on Halloween? Look man, if they mean that much to you I'll get you another bag."
Jeff looked at Taylor as if he had brain damage,"Don't be gay, Taylor."
Taylor laughed,"Well dude, I have no idea what I am supposed to be confessing. Would you mind filling me in?"
"Tay, I can't believe that you won't just be a man and confess! Fine! You had sex with Samantha, got her pregnant by the way, and didn't have the decency to one pick up the phone to call me!" he informed him.
Taylor leapt up,"Woah! Wait a minute! I at no time, in no way, shape or form, had sex with Samantha! Much less get her pregnant!"
Jeff eyed him,"Seriously? Or are you just jerking me around?"
Taylor made a face,"That's a disgusting choice of words and yes I am being serious."
Jeff laughed and slapped Taylor on the back,"Wow, I was really worried for a minute there."
Taylor was not as relieved as Jeff,"Who told you that Samantha was pregnant?" he asked.
"Her stupid little butt buddy Nicole." Jeff replied.
"And Samantha said it was mine? But..." he trailed off,"Oh shit!"
Jeff looked at him startled,"What?"
Taylor ran his hands through his hair,"No, this is not fucking happening." he muttered.
"Geez, tell me already!" Jeff yelled.
Taylor sighed,"The night of Stacie's funeral I went to Samantha's, got drunk and passed out. I woke up on the couch and my zipper was down and everything! She had sex with me while I was unconscious!"
Jeff's eyes widened,"Woah, you stepped in a pretty big pile of shit there didn't you?"
Taylor closed his eyes,"Oh please don't tell me that's what happened." he mumbled.
Jeff glanced at his watch,"Yeah well, sucks to be you but I gotta go. I'm already gonna be in alot of shit for missing second period."
Taylor nodded,"Yeah, you know, this probably could have waited until this afternoon."
Jeff rolled his eyes,"No shit. I didn't leave school just for this. I was trying to find Erica." He paused,"It's pretty ironic that both of you are the top two gossip stories today."
Taylor stared hard at Jeff,"What does Erica have to do with any of this?"
Jeff's eyes widened,"She didn't tell you? I thought for sure she'd run to you first..."
Taylor cut him off,"Run to me with what?"
Jeff looked over his shoulder before quietly answering,"Mike embarrassed her in front of the whole school."
Anger shot through Taylor's body like a bullet,"He what?" he asked clenching his fists.
Jeff nodded,"Well by second period I managed to hear a few different things. Stuff like, she was lousy at sex. But then I heard that he dumped her because she wouldn't give it up. Writing 'whore' on her locker was purely because he didn't get any ass. Then I heard that he had been cheating on her with Samantha ever since he asked her out..." he stopped.
Taylor's face turned bright red,"I'm gonna kill him." Taylor said, oblivious to Jeff's last statement.
Jeff punched his shoulder,"Did you hear a fucking word I said?"
Taylor stared at him blankly. He hadn't.
Jeff rolled his eyes,"He cheated on Erica with Samantha! You're not the father!" he yelled.
"That doesn't prove anything! It's a rumor and no one even said they had sex." Taylor replied.
"Oh yeah." Jeff said stupidly.
"I'm going back to school with you." Taylor informed him out of nowhere.
"Why?"
"So I can kill Mike." Taylor replied as if he killed someone everyday and then he took off down the front path.
Jeff grabbed his sleeve,"Whoa there buddy, I can't let you do that. Sorry, there will be no killing today so you can't fuck around with Mike."
"Why not?" Taylor demanded prying Jeff off of his sleeve.
Jeff knocked on Taylor's forehead,"Hello? Anybody home?" he called.
Taylor slapped his hand away,"Knock it off." he snapped.
Jeff laughed,"I told you and Erica what Mike was like and nobody wanted to listen. No one believed me and look what happened."
"This isn't the time for an 'I Told You So' lecture," Taylor scowled,"so save it. Now, if you would kindly move aside so I can go kill Mike."
Jeff rolled his eyes,"Grow the fuck up, Taylor! Geez! You can't go around beating the shit out of people because they hurt Erica. Stop trying to be her fucking hero! Be her friend! The wind beneath her wings or some shit like that. Listen to what she has to say! Because ten to one chances are that she would prefer "Taylor The Friend" as opposed to "Taylor Hanson Superhero."
Taylor knocked nervously on Erica's door. What to say first? Should he ask her about her and Mike or tell her about him and Samantha. Well, if there even was a him and Samantha. He fiddled with his jacket and knocked again.
Erica opened the door,"Taylor?"
He nodded,"Erica"
Isaac appeared behind her,"Tay?"
Taylor gave him a confused look,"Ike?"
Isaac looked down,"Erica?"
"Ike." she nodded.
He looked back up,"Tay."
"Erica?" Taylor asked in confusion.
She nodded her head over to Ike,"Ike." she said.
They remained silent for a minute,"Yeah, well I was just leaving." Isaac said as he slipped his jacket on. He kissed Erica on the cheek and then raised his eyebrows at Taylor as he walked past him.
Taylor shoved is hands in his pockets and glanced back at Ike. He then turned back around to stare at Erica,"Were you and Ike...um...." he said when Ike was out of earshot.
Erica tilted her head to the side as she tried to comprehend what Taylor was implying. Realization dawned on her,"No. You know Taylor, I sure hope that you came over here to talk and not start making accusations because..."
"Okay!" he interrupted,"And yes I did want to talk.
She eyed him and then opened the door so that he could walk in. He accepeted the the invitation.
"How'd you know I was home?" she asked as she shut the door.
"Um, lucky guess." he lied as he made his way into her kitchen.
"Oh, eat it Tay! You knew that I was home!" she argued.
He held up his hands in surrender,"You're so quick to get on the defensive. So I did know you were home, sue me."
She eyed him again and then put her hand on her hip,"Well, if you came over here because you figured that you would come to my emotional rescue, you're wrong. I never needed a shoulder to cry on and I don't..."
"I came as a friend." he cut her off as he wrapped his arms around her.
She closed her eyes and breathed him in. She wanted so much to let go of everything inside. He was reaching out, why couldn't she reach back?
She rested her head in the crook of his neck and put her arms around him. Not necessarily crying to him for help, but at least appreciating his open gesture,"Thank you." she said as she pulled away.
He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. The love was still there. He could feel it. But she was going through so much right now that he figured he could tell her another day. Just wait one more day.
"I'm guessing that I would be wrong to assume that a hug was the entire reason for your visit." she said as she sat down at the kitchen table and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
He slowly sat down across from her,"Well, I guess you would be right in saying that." he agreed.
She waited in silence for him to ask for her advice. A minute went by and the silence between them was never broken.
"Were you expecting to think about the question really hard and I would read your mind?" she joked.
"No." he replied as he stared at his hands.
She snickered,"So, just tell me Taylor. You always have to over-dramatize things."
"Samantha's pregnant." he blurted out in frustration.
Erica stared at him through big, brown eyes,"You two...you had...and now she's..." she stuttered.
"But I didn't!" he tried to explain.
"How could you not have?" Erica asked, obviously upset by this news.
"I was drunk and I passed out and she did everything while I was sleeping!" he defended himself.
"You were drunk!?" she cried.
Taylor rested his forehead on the table,"Please don't be mad." he said.
"I'm not." she said.
"You're not?" he asked picking up his head to look at her.
"No, I'm not," she repeated,"I'm just worried about you. I mean, so now you drink. From what you just told me, you were raped and the girl who raped you is pregnant. Everything that you and your brothers have worked for now desperately hangs in the balance. This could throw everything away!"
"I know that." he said sorrowfully.
Erica shrugged and sighed,"Well, I guess all that you can do now is be there for Samantha...and that baby."
"But I don't want to be there!" Tay said angrily and banged his fist on the table.
Erica stared at him for a minute,"What happened Taylor?"
"What? What are you talking about? Are you asking what sex is like or something?" he asked.
She leaned forward on the table,"No, what happened to us?"
Taylor got quiet and then muttered,"We just grew up I guess."
She sighed heavily and her voice wavered,"I swear if I could have frozen time when we were seven, I would have. We had it easy then, ya know?"
Taylor nodded.
"We had it real easy." she repeated.
"The days of the ice cream truck." he smiled as he reminisced.
"And swings." she grinned.
"Acid wash jeans." he chuckled.
She giggled,"Big, poofy hair."
They both looked at each other,"Vogue!" they cried in unision before cracking up.
They both laughed a little, forgetting alot of their problems at that moment.
"Why can't we just go back to that?" she asked frustrated.
Taylor shrugged,"It's just not the way things worked out. But if I knew things would be like this, well, I think that I would have never asked you out."
She eyed him. She, personally, wouldn't trade any of their moments as couple. Not one moment of the happiness she once felt. There had been a time when she was happy. When a smile didn't require so much effort. Such a vague image in her faded memory,"Well, you better be going." she said standing up.
He glanced at his watch,"It's still early though."
"I know, I just have some stuff to do." she replied. Stuff that I have to do. she thought.
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