Chapter 48: The End

Isaac drove recklessley through the streets of Tulsa. His only destination was freedom, not the hospital. He longed to drive out of Oklahoma altogether so that he could escape his task.

No matter how many times he repeated Chris Sabec's words about how his brother would thank him later on, he couldn't believe it. He couldn't fathom a reality in which Taylor would condone his own deception. In the depths of his heart, he knew his brother didn't deserve lies.

Isaac carefully manuevered his car into the lined parking spaces at the hospital and killed the engine. He leaned his head against the headrest and tried to gather his thoughts.

Five minutes passed before Isaac realized that there was no way for him to prepare for this. He was walking blindly into it, as was Taylor.

He removed himself from his car and dawdled across the parking lot. He stopped often, basking in the sun and hoping for some uncurable form of sun poisining that could prevent him from what he had accepted to do. How would he be able to look at himself after this?

He walked through the hospital doors and traced a familiar path along the hallways towards Erica's room. He turned corners without even realizing that he had done so. His feet seemed to be moving ahead while his body lagged behind. His feet came to a cold stop in front of room 112.

A knock on the door caused Taylor to startle and drop Erica's journal of poems. After reading about it in her goodbye note, he had ran across the street to fetch it. He had never gotten a chance to read a poem though.

"Come in." Taylor called slightly above a whisper as he bent down to pick up the journal that lay at his feet.

The door creaked open and Isaac's figure loomed in the doorway.

Taylor's face clearly showed shock when he saw Isaac standing in the doorway. He glanced at his watch,"The meeting is over already?" he asked.

Isaac swallowed hard as he entered the room and shut the door behind himself,"No, it's not." he replied.

Taylor placed the journal on his empty chair,"Oh." he said crossing his arms.

Isaac closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath,"Tay, we need you home for the meeting." he stated.

Taylor turned his back to him and placed his hands on Erica's bed rail. An eerie silence fell over the room until Taylor finally stated,"I can't Ike."

Everything inside of Isaac wanted to tell Taylor to take all of the time he needed before he even thought about coming home. He wasn't allowed to do that though.

"We're touring." Isaac spoke softly,"And we have to leave sometime this week."

Taylor whirled around and glared at Isaac,"We're what?" he asked as his face went pale. He did not want to believe what Isaac had just said.

Isaac swallowed his emotions for his brother and his pride as he stood his ground,"We have to start planning for the tour and Mercury says we leave now."

Taylor's face turned bright red in anger,"Like hell we are! I am not at Mercury's beck and call! So you can just go back there and tell them that they can forget it!"

Isaac resisted the urge to agree. His tone hardened,"I gave them the okay on it."

A tear fell down Taylor's cheek as he realized that Isaac sided with their record company over him. Did he have no sympathy? Taylor quickly wiped the tear away,"How could you do that, Ike?" he asked quietly.

Isaac looked past Taylor,"Erica's dying, Taylor." he retorted,"Open your eyes and look at her! She's already dead! Let her go!" he yelled.

Taylor clutched his stomach and squeezed his eyes shut. It felt like Isaac had just punched him in the stomach,"I can't let go." he cried.

Isaac's voice wavered,"She's fucking dead, Taylor! She's nothing to you now! She's holding you back and that is all she is good for!"

Taylor covered his ears,"Stop it, Ike! Just stop it!" he sobbed.

Isaac yanked his brother's hands from his ears,"Just walk away, Taylor." he told his brother sadly. This was killing him.

"B...but, I love her." Taylor cried harder and his knees buckled.

Isaac held his brother up and guilt consumed him. He wasn't helping Taylor at all, he was hurting him. He struggled to find his voice,"If you love her, than let her go."

Taylor sniffed and looked at Isaac through watery blue eyes,"Is that what you would do if it was Stacie?" he asked earnestly.

Isaac let go of Taylor and turned his head. He couldn't look at him while he lied,"Yes."

Taylor's chest heaved and he nodded his head as if trying to convince himself that what Isaac said made sense. It didn't.

Isaac shifted uncomfortably at the silence between them. Without a word, Isaac placed his hand on Taylor's shoulder and ushered him towards the door. He glanced over his shoulder at Erica. I'm sorry. he thought.

Taylor waited quietly for Isaac and Zac to say their goodbye's to Erica. Or what was left of her anyway. They were leaving today, no matter how hard it was for any of them. God only knows when they would be back.

Taylor heard nothing his brothers said to her. He was watching Erica anxiously. He was waiting for her to sit up and prove everyone wrong, just like she always does. Then Taylor could hug her and tell her how much he loved her...she just had to sit up first.

Isaac and Zac started to exit the room,"Ten minutes, Tay." Isaac told him over his shoulder.

He approached her bed carefully and slipped his hand eagerly into hers as he had done many times before. He didn't sit down this time though, for fear he would never get up.

"I guess this is it." he spoke outloud, tears brimming his eyes. He forced himself to study her face so that he could remember everything about her. His eyes ran over the white bandage on her head and the tubes sticking out of her nose and throat that were forcing air into her lungs. Just move, just move. Breathe! Just breathe, Erica! he thought. The tears in his eyes forced him to turn away.

He wiped his eyes and looked back to her,"Erica, I know you can hear me. You have to be able to hear me. I need you to open your eyes and look at me." his voice choked with emotion," I promise that everything will be okay if you just look at me."

She didn't move. His hand shook within hers,"Please, this is our last chance." he whispered.

She didn't move. He could hear the seconds of the clock echoing in his head. His time was almost up. He heaved a sigh and ran his thumb across her fingers and stared at her closed eyelids.

"Well, if you can hear me in there, I guess this goodbye. You were such a good friend, Erica." his voice wavered, his bottom lip trembled and tears spilt over his cheeks,"I'm never going to find anyone like you again." he sobbed as he bent over her and put his face in her shoulder.

He could picture her smile so clearly in his mind. All of those happier times lost and those to come were wasted. He sniffed,"Isaac says if you really love something, you let it go." he whispered in her ear.

He kissed her cheek lightly and stared at her face which, even now, reminded him of an angel. He slipped his hand out of hers and caressed her cheek for a moment.

"I love you." he whispered before standing straight up. His heart was now fully broken. He turned around and stared at the door to her room. Don't look back. he thought to himself as he walked briskly to the door and tried to leave all of his thoughts and emotions in her room.

The room was still. The flowers were all wilted and the balloons all lay along the floor. The only sign of life within the room was the slight smell of Taylor's cologne which lingered in the air and the heart rate monitors which blipped in the same steady rythem.

A bandaged hand suddenley shot up into the air from the unknown. The fingers wriggled in the air as if grasping for something.

The heart rate on the monitor became eratic. The hand gripped the metal railing of the bed.

There was a heavy coughing and the tube that once ran down Erica's throat was forced out. Her eyes shot open.

"Taylor..." she spoke hoarsely.

You're now leaving Tulsa. Come back soon!

Taylor's eyes followed that sign as he drove past it. Come back soon? He didn't even want to leave.

He unfastened his seatbelt and leaned over into his backpack. He dug around and pulled out Erica's journal of poems.

He rested his head against the window and slipped his headphones over his ears. He pressed play on his Goo Goo Dolls c.d as he opened her journal and began to read the first page: