3 - D                GOSSIP                11/03/02

"THE GIVE UP GROOM"
By: Desdemona Grey

  Talking to very reliable 3-D sources we are told that all is not well in the new Hanson household. (We cannot tell our source's names since we promised to keep Jim the trashman and George the mailman out of print.)
  Due to the enormous amount of reactions to Taylor Hanson's marriage to Natalie Bryant, Taylor has decided to divorce his wife of only a few months. "I give up!" Taylor announced to 3-D recently.
  This is sad, since Natalie is pregnant with his children. She is due October 12, 2003 with their five children. (Two boys, two girls, and one they're just not so sure about, but whom they already love.)
  Such responses have been outraged twelve year olds, shocked brothers, relieved boyfriends, and a few supportive adult fans.
  One frightening response has been a teenaged girl killing herself over the announcement. 3-D unanimously agreed that Taylor just was not worth such permanent action. (No offense, Tay.)
  Taylor has announced that he will allow fans to send in info packets on themselves and then use a tried-true system to choose his new bride. Him and his brothers will paste the willing participant's pictures to a wall and then throw darts at them.
  The one that they manage to hit dead center in the forehead, will be the lucky winner and the new wife of Taylor Hanson!
  (We recommend that you send in a very big picture of yourself and enlarging your forehead to help better your chances. We realize this will distort you and make you look like Frankenstein's bride, but come on! Isn't this worth a little humiliation?)
  Taylor does plan to divorce his wife after their kids are born and after they are eligible to collect Social Security. So hurry up and send in your packets! You're already almost out of time!


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