SHE'S FALLING APART

   A tap landed on her door, “Hey. Breakfast time, Avie.”
   Looking up from the mirror, Avie touched her stomach and felt it swell with pain. Grimacing she pulled up her jeans then zipped and snapped them shut.
   Opening the bathroom door, she stepped lightly down the hallway.
   Zac passed her, rolling his eyes. “I don’t know what it is, but every female has to live in the bathroom,” he grumbled irritably.
   Making a face at him, she hurried down the hall and into the dining room.
   “While you were in the shower, I set the table for you. Again.” Jessica told her as she cleared a basket of biscuits on the table.
   Sighing softly, Avery took her seat dutifully and watched as plates and bowls passed hands as new requests were made for the pepper or the ketchup.
   Her mom handed down a plate that ended up in front of her, and Avery stared at it with scrutiny. She looked up at her parents, watched as they got the rest of the kids their plates and managed to still eat a warm meal.
   Frowning, she pushed away and stood up. “I’m gonna be late,” she announced suddenly. “Leslie’s waiting on me already, I’m sure. And I don’t wanna be late for writing class.

they pull up their chairs to the table
she stares at the food on her plate
at the toast and the butter
her father, her mother, she pushes away

   “You sure, honey?” Mrs. Hanson asked. “Maybe you can take it with you?”
   Nodding, Avery grabbed a napkin and put a biscuit and some bacon on it. “Catch ya later.”
   Going around the table she pecked cheeks and headed for the door. “Love ya!” she called over her shoulder.
   Thanking the heavens that Leslie was just pulling onto her street, Avery rushed down the driveway and tossed her breakfast in the garbage can that waited to be picked up this morning.

and they rise in the morning
and they sleep in the dark
and even though nobody's looking
she's falling apart

   Poking her head around the door, Avery checked to make sure that the coast was clear. Complaining of cramps to her writing teacher Miss Granger, she excused her from the lunch outing that had been planned.
   She raced up the stairs as fast as she could without making any noises and alerting anyone that she was home yet.
   In the safety of her room, she closed her eyes and leaned against her closed doors. The cool silence greeted her warped ears. Giving her a brief respite.
   Opening her eyes, she checked the clock by her bed and groaned aloud. Today was barely over, and she would have to do this all over again tomorrow.

she gets home from school too early
and closes the door to her room
there's nothing inside her
she's weak and she's tired of feeling like this

   Stumbling towards her bed, she kicked off her shoes and removed her sweater. Stretching lightly, she prepped her body for the rigorous exercise she was about to treat it to.
   Sweat shined on her forehead, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand as she lifted her green weights diligently. Her stomach burned a bit from the sit-ups and her legs were shaking from the all the stationary steps she’d taken.
   In a moment she’d take another shower, and try to relax her body. But for now, she thought warily, as she put the weight down, for now I’ll just take a nap.
   Closing her curtains tightly to keep out the light, she stumbled towards her bed and fell face first into the pillows.

and they rise in the morning
and they sleep in the dark
and even though nobody's looking
she's falling apart

   The knock on the door kept getting louder, and Avery bared her teeth as she tried to force more medicine out of the tube. “Hold on!” she shouted impatiently.
   “Dinner time!” Mackenzie yelled unperturbed by his sister’s bad mood.
   “Jeez! I’m changing, ok?” She yelled back. Looking down at her arms, she finally squeezed out enough to cover her latest cuts and wrapped the gauze around them. Hurrying, she rolled down her sleeves and hid the cream, razor, and bandages in her teddy bear backpack she’d gotten years ago in London.
   Wrenching the door open she headed for the bathroom to wash her hands to stall for time. Thinking up any reason she could to get out of dinner tonight.
   When she got to the dining room, she saw the extra leaf in the table and knew the whole family was together tonight. Still, her stomach clenched in violent rejection and she couldn’t stand the smell of the food.
   Looking up at her parents, she begged, “I’m not feeling too well. I think I ate too much in class today.” She laughed lightly, “we went to a Chinese buffet this afternoon, and it was sooooo good.” She even managed to look forlornly at the banquet on the table without getting sick.
   She was teased about her loss on the grub, but no one put up much of an argument. Though Avery could see the confusion and distrust in her mom’s look.

they call her for dinner, she makes up a reason
she looks at her arms and she rolls down her sleeves
and her mother is starting to see through her lies
and last night her father had tears in his eyes

   Ignoring the look, Avery went into the kitchen to get herself an ice cube to suck on, then headed back up to her room.

and we rise in the morning
and we sleep in the dark
and even though nobody's looking
she's falling apart

lyrics, Lisa Loeb: She's Falling Apart

StOrIeS

E-mail: Shann