Name: Taylor Hanson.
Name I Go By Most: Fancy.
Job: Being a diva. It's a full-time job.
Greatest Achievement: "I peed on a roof and didn't go to jail!"
Thing I Learned: "Don't suck on a cherry lollipop
before a press conference.
New Years Resolution: "To weigh more than my baby sister."

Name:Britney Spears.
Job: Role model.
Greatest Achievement: "People believe I'm still a virgin."
Hardest Thing To Do: "Walk, talk, and chew bubble gum all at the same time. It's harder than it looks!"
Thing I Learned: "When I dress myself, guys like me!"
New Years Resolution: "To actually sing LIVE."

Name: Nick Carter.
Job: Looking pretty.
Greatest Achievement: "I can pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time."
Hardest Thing I'm Learning: "To tie my own shoes. Kevin is getting tired of explaining 'loop, swoop, and pull.' "
Thing I Learned: "Mmm, cupcakes are the best."
New Years Resolution: "To find a girl who doesn't want to be an actress, singer, model, or super bitch."

Name: Christina Aguilera.
Job: Stripper.
I Get In Trouble When: "I do my own makeup."
Who I Look Most Like: "A french poodle."
Thing I Learned: "Not to stick a penny in the light socket."
Greatest Accomplishment: "I can carry all the stuff that was in my purse in my hair!"
New Years Resolution: "To stop using Barbie as a role model."

Name: Aaron Carter.
Job: Being 'Mini Me'.
Who I Look Like Most: "My bro Nick, moron!"
Hardest Thing I'm Learning: "To try and be as blonde as my older bro... it's actually very difficult. My bro's the master!"
Greatest Accomplishment: "I can dress myself! Which is more than my bro can say!"
New Years Resolution: "Get a new family."

Name: Willa Ford.
Job: Talentless Freeloader.
Greatest Achievement: "Using Nick's career to boost my own."
Thing I Learned: "I realized I needed actual talent to sustain it."
Hardest Think I'm Learning: "To actually make it on my own sheer err... talent."
New Years Resolution: "To someday be talented. At something other than being a super bitch."

Name: Justin Timberlake.
Job: Boy toy.
Who I Look Like Most: "A brillo-pad slash chia pet."
Hardest Thing To Learn: "To lip synch and dance at the same time."
Thing I've Learned: "Britney's not a virgin...
New Years Resolution: "To find a new girlfriend."

Name: Mandy Moore.
Job: Being an annoying pain the a--.
Hardest Thing I'm Learning: "That as a brunette, I'm actually expected to think!"
Thing I Learned: "More guys liked me blonde for some reason..."
New Years Resolution: "To look and act older than twelve!"

Name: Scott Moffatt.
Job: Apprentice to Taylor Hanson.
Who I Look Like Most: "A wolfman."
Hardest Thing I'm Learning: "To keep my clothes on."
Thing I Learned: "Wolfmen don't wear sunglasses..."
New Years Resolution: "To reduce hair bleaching to only three times a week."