Zac gripped his drink tightly as he thought of how Carissa laughed so happily, so care free, with her friends. Thought of how one of her arms was wound around a guy's waist and hanging on tightly.
   He knew how tightly that half embrace was. Knew the scent of her shampoo and clothes soap that she used. He also knew that her perfume would be on that guy's clothes later on without him knowing it until he changed and smelt it.
   He flashed back to yesterday morning. Her note was written with a steady hand simply explaining she couldn't deal with him anymore. It was just too tough being with him.
   He laughed tiredly to himself and carefully tried to sip his now warm drink. He hissed when the broken glass cut his lip and the alcohol touched the open wound.

   When he had woken this morning, he had found the note taped to his bathroom mirror. It didn't take him long to smash a few things in angry retaliation. She knew how much he hated notes. How much he hated cowardice and yet that was the way she chose to leave him.
   Shaking his head, Zac thought back to their time together and couldn't think of a good enough situation that would make her want to just up and leave.
   He never forgot important dates. Saw her as often as possible. Invited her out to see him. She had even traveled with his family and him before just so that they could see each other more.
   Groaning, he crumpled up the note. She had warned him one time that there would just be one day she would be gone. He hadn't believed her. Who would just up and leave someone they cared about? Without reason?

   He thought about how he should have paid more attention. Why he didn't push when she didn't talk about past boyfriends. Question her why she didn't talk about a lot of people in her life.
   Zac regretted that he never really got her to talk about her family life. Oh sure, he knew their names and where they lived. But he didn't know what it was like for her growing up. Didn't know what sort of antics her and her brother caused to torment their younger sister and their parents.
   Wiping at his mouth, he smeared blood across his cheek as he got up and fell back on the bed. He bounced once or twice and spilt warm beer on the sheets.
   Glancing down at the wet spots he tried wiping at them as well and saw strands of her brown hair on the white sheets. It hurt like hell believing that Carissa was never going to lie here again. Was probably never going to think of him again. He winced, never think of him like he thought of her.

   Closing his eyes, Zac wished the pain away. Carissa looked so happy earlier today when he went looking for her to try and get an explanation. He knew how great it felt when she smiled up at him.
   He thought back on how soft her skin was and how she always smelled of vanilla. He grinned when he remembered how he bought her a big vanilla bath set. She had laughed about it and swore she'd never use another kind of soap again.
   The letter flashed back into his mind and Zac flinched and turned his head to the side trying to escape from the harshness.

   Feeling himself drift off again, Zac tried to stay awake. If he slept through the day again he was really going to screw up his schedule and touring would be a bitch and a half. And trying to straighten out his sleeping habits while on the road was even harder than just trying while he was home.
   He groaned though when his thoughts kept drifting back to that note and just let himself slide into the sweet darkness.

   He awoke with a jerk and sat up right almost instantly. His flailing hand knocked his bottle to the floor with a loud smash. Glancing down he saw the now broken bottle at home with the other broken bottles.
   Looking around he saw the television was snowy and shook his head in confusion. Shifting around, he felt the remote control under his left side and picked it up.
   Clicking off the TV he shivered for a moment and looked at his alarm clock. It screamed it was 7 o'clock and he got up to look at the thermostat in the hallway. The stupid thing said it was over 75 degrees in the house, but he shivered anyway and turned it up.
   Stepping back into his bedroom he saw the crumpled paper on the ground and frowned fiercely at it. Grabbing it with angry hands he crushed it in his palm and shoved it forcefully into the trashcan almost all the way to the bottom just so that he wouldn't have to see it again.

   His fingers rubbed at his eyes and he plopped down on his couch in the front room. He found the remote stuffed into one of the cushions and shifted until he got comfortable.
   He started questioning if it was all just a waste of time.