"Ike, its James. I need to talk to you, you think you could come over?"

"James, it's Jessie's birthday, how about tomorrow, we can hang out all day, but it's kind of a family deal tonight."

"Yea ok, c-ya!" Without another word James hung up the phone and looked around his room, feeling alone he quickly wrote the letter to his best friend and popped the cap off the bottle of painkillers.

The next morning Isaac got ready and called over to James house to see if he was ready to do anything. Isaac remembered that James' parents were out of town and he figured his best friend was in the shower.

So he decided he would head on over. Once he got there, he knocked a few times and listened to see if he could hear any noise from inside the house, there was nothing.

He tried the doorknob, and to his surprise found it unlocked, and decided James figured he was coming over and had unlocked it for him before he got into the shower.

"James!" Ike called up the stairs, "you up there bud?"

He reached his room and knocked, noticing the door slightly opened he peeked inside. He saw James, lying on the ground. Isaac laughed at his sleeping friend. "James, buddy, get up!" When James didn't respond with even the slightest movement Isaac became worried.

"Oh my God, James?" He asked rushing to his friend's side and listening for some sort of life. He glanced at James' hand and saw it filled with a few pills.

He then looked to the bottle at James side and picked it up to read the label. "James, do you hear me? Please James. God, help me, please!" He rushed to the phone to call 9-1-1.

He stayed near his friend until the police arrived and then was told he had to leave the scene, but would be called for further questioning.

"Son." A policeman stopped him. "Do these belong to you?"

Isaac looked up to the two notes in the man's hands, one seemed to be written in James' girlfriends writing and the other was addressed to Isaac, without a thought Isaac knew he needed to have them.

"Oh yea, thank you." Isaac answered solemnly. He then took one last look at his lifeless friend and rushed down the stairs and out the door, past the police cars and ambulances.

Not wanting to go home, Isaac walked down the street and took a seat on a park bench to try to get his thoughts straight. Hearing a crumple in his pocket he remembered the letters and pulled them from his pocket.

Dear James,

I know I should tell you this face to face, but you know when it comes to my feelings I'd rather put them down on paper. I'm not going to go on and on about how happy I am that we were together, I'm going to write this and get it over with. I've fallen in love with someone else, you don't know him, he's a friend of my cousins, and I didn't mean for it to happen like this, but it did, and I'm sorry. I did love you James, and I am happy for what we had, but I cannot go on in this relationship pretending that what we have is special, it may of been at one time, but now.. I don't' have those feelings anymore. I hope we can remain friends, and I'm sorry to do it like this, but I feel there is no other way.

Remember me always,

Janna.

Isaac looked up in confusion. She broke up with him, he never told me, why hadn't he told me? The questions all rushed through his head, the questions along with all kinds of emotions.

He then eyed the other letter, the one with his name written in bold print. He slowly unfolded the paper and began to read.

Isaac,

If you get this, it means you've found me.. I assume dead. I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you last night Isaac. Janna broke up with me yesterday, and I don't think I can handle not being with her. I love her, and I can't suffer anymore. I don't want you to be bitter about my death Isaac. I love you like my brother, always have, and I will after death. Don't blame yourself for any of this. I must thank you Ike, for being the best friend a guy could ever have, you've always been there for me, but now it's time for you to be there for someone else. I'll watch over you... I must say good bye, good-bye to you and the world.

Goodnight Isaac, and best of luck in life.

James.

P.S. One more thing, Isaac could you keep an eye on my family, and let them know I loved them? Thanks.

Isaac finally let himself cry both in sadness and in anger. "James, how could you leave me like that?" He asked out loud hoping in some way he heard him.

"You were like a brother to me too James, You've always been there for me, James, why? WHY?" He asked tears streaming down his face. "Why didn't you tell me this?" He asked, when all of a sudden he remembered the phone call he had gotten the night before.

"Oh my God, if I had been there, if I had been there for you James, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, damnit James, I miss you so much, so, so much.” He cried for a little long and then stood up and angrily wiped away the tears.

When Isaac arrived home he found his family, they already knew what happened and they all looked so different, for the first time ever they looked distant.

"Isaac, honey, I'm so sorry dear." Diana wrapped her arms around her eldest son.

He tried to smile but only nodded and walked upstairs to be alone for a while.

Isaac sat nervously in the crowd who had came for James' funeral. He had been asked to speak at the funeral and he said he would, he was James' best friend.

After the preacher stopped giving kind words about James and his family it was Isaac turn to speak. His mother squeezed his hand and gave him a smile, trying to comfort him. Isaac took a deep breath and stood, hoping his knees wouldn't give out, and walked up to podium.

"I was best friends with James Peters for as long as I can remember." He started out slowly, hoping his voice wouldn't crack. "We grew up together, in fact we had the same birthday, with our mothers in the same hospital room." He glanced at James' family and saw tear stained and saddened faces.

"When I was asked to do this, I didn't think I would be able to, I'm still not sure if I'll be able to say all of the things I want to say. James was strong, thoughtful, and one whom you would never think would do such a thing to himself. I loved him like a brother; I remember when he had broken his leg during a summer league baseball game. He tried so hard to pretend it didn't hurt him, all he wanted to do was play. He wasn't a quitter; he wasn't a baby. He was James, and James was strong.”

Isaac pulled the letter out that James had written him. I have a letter, it was given to me after his death. I would like to read some of it, just so you that don't know, will know how caring of a person he really was."

Ike began to read and felt his throat go tight and the eyes start to rush his eyes. He then looked up into the crowd. "I--I don't think I can do this." He looked to the Peters. "I'm so sorry I didn't' help him, so sorry." He then stepped down from the podium and ran out the door.

Taylor followed his brother out the door into the fresh, yet claustrophobic air. He found his brother sitting on the steps of the Church entrance. "Isaac?"

"Please Tay... I don't think I can talk about it right now."

"Ok then, I'll just sit here with you then, until you can."

Isaac started to cry again and Taylor protectively put his arm around his older brother. "I'm sorry it happened Isaac."

"Taylor, if only I had been there, if only I had been there for him... I could have saved my best friend's life."

Taylor didn't say a word; instead he blinked back some tears and let his brother cry on his shoulder.