Isaac sat quietly at his laptop on his bed. The light casting an eerie glow on his face and the wall. And annoying his younger brothers whom was below him.

"Ike…" Zac whined pitifully, "Just go to bed!"

Ignoring him, Isaac continued clicking away at the keys. He was about to go down anyway. Smiling to himself he started to make his good-byes to the people he was talking to.

DrkShdw: well, it's time to sleep, i'll talk to y'all later

Draco: Nite dude

ITZBaby: yeah, nite nite dude

DrkShdw: when clover comes back from her phone call, tell her i said "nite"

HITZDrmr: we will. nite mike

Isaac chuckled to himself, Yeah, Mike, good name for myself. He thought rolling his eyes.

Getting to shut the chat down, he saw Clover return. Smiling, he decided to tell her goodnight himself.

But she messaged before he could.

Clover: I think that was just the worst phone call I've ever had…

Isaac blinked a couple of times. Did he read that right?

Everyone else in the chat was brought to attention by her statement.

DrkShdw: what's wrong clove?

Clover shakes her head

Clover: My boyfriend's brother in Kansas just called… he told me Matt's dead.

Quickly Isaac shut off any ideas of leaving the chat now. He was new to that chat room, but even he knew how close Jordan was to Matt. When he and his family had moved away from Georgia to Kansas two months ago, they had still kept in touch. Making their long-distance relationship work.

Draco: R U OK?

HITZDrmr: Damnit Jay!

HITZDrmr: what the hell kind of stupid question is that?!

ITZBaby: yeah that was really stupid jay. even for you

DrkShdw: shut up guys!

DrkShdw: Clove you got anyone there with you?

Clover: no, no one's here. just me and jinx.

Isaac smiled wryly at the screen. "Yeah, she only needs her cat for this." He whispered harshly to himself.

DrkShdw: Clove, listen to me

Clover nods her head

DrkShdw: call someone and have them come over and be with you

Clover: I don't know who to call…

DrkShdw: you need someone with you. a neighbor, a friend… just somebody!

DrkShdw: you shouldn't be alone now

Draco: Mike's right Clove, you do need someone there

Clover: I'm going to call Tammi she was like Matt's sister

Fidgeting with his ring Isaac thought about that. Wouldn't that close connection make it harder? He thought worriedly.

Clover: brb

DrkShdw: k

Three minutes passed then four. Five was approaching and Isaac was biting his thumbnail nervously and impatiently.

HITZDrmr: weren't you going to bed mike?

Draco: yah man, ya can't do nothin for her

DrkShdw shakes his head

DrkShdw: Like I could go to bed now!

ITZBaby: you shouldn't worry about it, it's not your problem

Isaac sat up straight at that comment. Wasn't anyone caring about Clover?

After seven minutes, she returned to the chat.

Clover: she's comin over

No one bothered to reply to that, and Isaac was thinking about what he could say.

Clover: have you ever seen the strongest person in you world, break down and cry?

Nothing was coming for Isaac to type to her. He wanted so badly to reach her, but he couldn't. He didn't know exactly how to. Then he took a deep breath and poised his fingers above the keys.

DrkShdw: yeah, my dad cried when my grandma died, i never saw him cry before.

Clover: it was always an on-going joke about how Tammi would never cry

Clover: it was as if, crying just wasn't something she was made to do

Clover: she was always the one cheering everyone up

Clover: making us all laugh and to stop us from crying

Clover: I don't know how to stop her crying…

Isaac closed his eyes for a second to try and get one complete thought.

DrkShdw: be there for her, like she will be for you Clover cries

Clover: god mike, i just want to hold him so bad now

Clover: i know i can't, but i just want to so badly

DrkShdw hugs Clover

Clover smiles weakly at DrkShdw

Clover: thank you,

Clover: i gotta go, she's going to be here soon

Clover: thanks mike

Clover hugs DrkShdw

DrkShdw nods

Clover leaves the chat

After that, the rest of the chat members started talking again. It angered Isaac because they were all going back to their normal lives… while Clover tried to piece hers back together.

HITZDrmr: Did you see Hanson on Leno?

HITZDrmr: My GOD! Tay looked so fine

ITZBaby: Oooh, he was so HOTT

ITZBaby drools

Draco: stop obsessing over that girl band!

HITZDrmr: They're not girls!

ITZBaby: They be all men Draco laughs out loud

Draco: No, they're not

DrkShdw: hello!

HITZDrmr: what?

DrkShdw: does no one care about clover's problem here?

ITZBaby: You have to see the bright side of every bad thing

HITZDrmr: What are we supposed to do Mike?

HITZDrmr: mourn for someone we don't even know??

DrkShdw: you're acting as if nothing happened!

Draco: all we can do is put Matt and Clover in our prayers.

DrkShdw: So their families mean nothing?

DrkShdw: Their friends?

DrkShdw: They don't deserve to be in your prayers?

HITZDrmr: Mike if you're going to be depressing just leave

ITZBaby: no, he can stay

Draco: Weren't you going to bed anyways???

Isaac clenched his jaw shut. How could people be so unfeeling? So uncaring? Didn't they realize a life was over now? That they would never be coming back?

Without even saying goodbye he left that chat. Angry at the world for their cruelty and coldness.

He opened up his on-line journal and started typing furiously. He needed to clear his mind, and his words spilled quickly out on the screen.

My throat burns with this empty feeling. I want to cry, but crying is one thing I can't force myself to do. I want to cry so badly though. This girl I chatted with, just a chat, but we became pretty good friends over this week. Her boyfriend died… and no one seemed to care! They all went back to their lives. Talking about the most unimportant things on earth, while this girl and families were having their worlds crashing down at their feet.

One though, he mentioned to keep them in my prayers. That's good, but who can I talk to about this? God doesn't reply to me. He listens, but I don't have his personal attention. And he can't take time out of ruling the world just to sit and have a chat with me. He can't tell me everything will be okay, that Jordan will heal well over time. Or that their families and friends will.

Since I have no one to talk to at the moment, I am using you journal to help clear my thoughts and to help console me. I guess it's good for me not to bottle my emotions up tonight… but I wonder what Jordan and her friend Tammi will be doing.

Will they be holding each other and crying. Or will one be angry and throw things while the other sits and waits quietly for it to end? Will denial come first? Does the numbness wear off quickly? I have so many questions, and I worry so much about them and their families.

I know it's hard to believe that I already care and worry about them, but I can't help it. I'm only human… or am I? Those others in the chat sure didn't seem human.

Does everyone pull back from society and put on those fake smiles and hide behind the lies of "yeah, I'm all right"? Does everyone worry more about themselves more then others? Or hide their feelings so well, that they forget that they even exist?

Do we all realize that life can come so quickly and end abruptly? With no explanation or reason? That because of someone's carelessness our lives could end, but does anyone really think or care about that? That they could be struck lonely because of someone's selfish or thoughtless acts?

But then I think that loneliness is only a state of mind, because we are never really alone, not with the whole world full of millions and millions of people. But not everyone knows everyone. Not everyone knows what everyone does. And does anyone care about that?

I think that there are only two reasons why someone is lonely. 1) Because it is by choice. They choose not to reach out for hands. They choose not to allow this cruel civilization to corrupt their solitary world. They choose to swallow loneliness as if it were a strong bitter drink, and then get cursed for it. And 2) Because it is more punishment then choice. Because for those who do reach out for hands, they get their hands slapped away continuously. Until they are too bruised and sore to try and reach out again. Knowing that if that do, that they will be slapped away again. Turned away from civilization. Shut out…

They are the ones who become the caged animals in their worlds. Lashing out at those who are compassionate enough and want to help them. But they fear the rejection so much, that they reject first. They are the ones who were made different. And their punishment for being forced that way? Eternal loneliness.

Isaac sighed carefully to himself, not wanting to read over what he just typed. Fearing that it wouldn't make sense to anyone. To him.

Suddenly a soft large object covered his face. "Turn that damn thing off already!" Taylor demanded angrily.

Slowly, Isaac saved his new journal entry and shut his laptop off, then hung off the side of his bed to set it down. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and yawned. Evidently no one would understand what he just went through. That loneliness he had just suffered. Just because of a chat.