“Zac… Zac, wake up.”
I open an eye. God it’s Taylor. He can be so annoying in the morning. C’mon Ike is up before him and he doesn’t see fit to wake the entire family just because he’s up. So why must Taylor?
“Tay, I just want to sleep.”
I roll over. Not like that is going to stop him from trying to get me up.
“Zac, c’mon we’ve got stuff to do today.”
I don’t move other than to put the covers over my head. The next thing I feel is the covers being ripped away from my body. God, it’s cold now. Why did mom and dad turn on the AC?
Oh, that’s right. We’re in a hotel. I curl up for warmth. After freezing for a while I decide this is worthless. I frustratingly sit up. Hair in my face I’m so mad I can spit. One of these days Tay is going to be greeted with me spitting in his face. He better just watch out.
“What ‘stuff’ do we have to do today that requires me out of bed at seven a.m.?”
“We have a photo shoot, school, an interview, and I think a mini concert.” He rambled while brushing his hair.
Good grief if he brushed it out once more it’s going to start falling out. C’mon get caught around the earring come on. God please, I need this revenge.
“OUCH!”
Yes! I will not laugh I will not laugh.
"Serves you right.”
“Hush you.”
“Ohh Tay, you’re intelligence astounds me.”
I love these play fights. That’s what they are. Play fights to release the tension that surrounds the three of us on occasion. I mean I know we say that we don’t’ fight but who doesn’t. It’s not exactly lying is it? Zac, don’t get philosophical on yourself here, buddy. You’re sleepy.
Realization… got to pee… Oh God, man why is it when you sit up do you have these realizations? Please let Ike be out of the bathroom. I run over.
Crap he’s in there blow drying his hair. Must be going for the straight look which usually turns into the frizzy look… well he’s got that new stuff that’s supposed to control that. But then again so was the last stuff.
Quit thinking just empty me. Quit yelling you stupid bladder. Am I the only person who talks to my stomach and bladder? Oh well.
“Ike?”
I pound on the bathroom door. The blow dryer stops.
“Yeah Zac?”
“I’ve got to pee, are you done in there?”
“I can be.”
Ike’s a cool brother. If Tay were in there he would have brushed his teeth slower or something. He opens the door half of his hair dry.
“Go ahead. I can do this out here.”
I smile mumble thank you and run into the bathroom. After relieving myself, which I will tell you has got to be about the best darn thing in the morning, I get into the shower.
Best thing number two, shampoo. Shampoo where is the shampoo…well let’s think two brothers in here before me…wait Ike brings his own stuff. So that means Taylor has used all of the complimentary shampoo.
GRRRRRRRR. I hope Ike left his stuff in here. I stick my head out of the curtain. Yep, there it is. I won’t use much I know this stuff is expensive and we can only get it at home. Ike needs it more than I do.
Hmmm, for dry hair. Hmmm Ike doesn’t have dry hair. Must be why. My hair ought to be a grease bowl today, if this adds oil. Oh well, it’ll at least clean it.
Oh, it smells good. Found his secret! His hair! That’s what the fan's smell when they tell him he smells good. His hair! Have to tell him that.
Ohhh, it tingles on my head. Wonder if that’s why Ike likes taking showers? Oh well. Better get out before Taylor has a cow on me. Need clothes. Well just put back on my boxers and go find clothes. Oh, bathroom a little steamy.
Okay dressed and ready to go. Oh well so my hair is still wet. Can remedy this problem. Rubber band…. ahhh here’s one. There it’s back I’m done.
“I’m ready to go now.”
"Well, I’m not.” Taylor says staring at his suitcase.
“Tay, photo shoot they pick our cloths…. Tay are you losing you’re memory on us… you forgot the lyrics to the new song last night…you must have Alzheimer's."
“I know, I’m not stupid. I’m looking for an outfit for the concert.”
“Wear jeans and you’re red tee.”
“No, that’s not…”
Tay goes off into his mumbling. I never understand what he says so I don’t listen which I usually get called on later as a ‘see Zac you don’t listen to me’ well if he would speak up and appear as though he’s not talking to himself then maybe I would listen to him.
“Hey Ike, what are you wearing for the concert?”
“I’m thinking my jeans and my purple shirt.”
“Cool… Mr. Fashion over there is trying unsuccessfully to pick something cool.”
“He’ll be there all day. There’s nothing in there that is cool.” Ike laughed.
“Oh, by the way, I used you’re shampoo. I just wanted to let you know. Tay stole the rest of it.”
“That’s cool. I don’t care.”
“That’s the reason fans tell you that you smell good. You’re shampoo smells great.”
“Well, that solves that mystery,” He laughs.
Oh goodness, we’re here. I don’t want to do a photo shoot. I personally am beginning to hate them. The last one for the new album cover didn’t go well.
They seemed to have a problem with the fact that Taylor and I were virtually the same height and Isaac was smaller than we were. They acted like they didn’t know where to put him. I knew better, they just wanted to hide him.
They don’t like him. I don’t understand why photographers hate him so much… wait, yes I do. Photographers are people who only capture outside things.
They take a picture of a beautiful rose but do they get a picture of the thorns? They don’t’ see that it’s true nature is evil. They take pictures of supermodels they are beautiful on the outside but ditzy people inside.
They only see the outside of Ike. The not so great looking part. The one lazy eye the slightly frizzed hair because the lights are so hot that they have made his hair do something funky. They and their camera don’t capture Ike. The great brother, musician, friend, and boyfriend.
Not that I know the boyfriend. But Katie says he a great boyfriend. What do I know and why am I thinking so much this morning?
“Umm, let me think, no, I will not wear that.”
This lady wants me to wear striped clown pants and a polka-dot shirt. In really clashing colors.
“C’mon Zac, you have to live up to you’re zany image.”
God, can’t I grow up, or will I forever be remembered as the one boy that always made noises during interviews and screamed oddities.
“Well, today I’m not feeling that zany.”
“Well, how about...”
She’s searching through the clothes.
“How about this?”
I pull out a pair of black dress pants and a mustard and black shirt.
“You and Isaac are going to look too much alike.”
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
“No, not at all. That’s not what I meant.”
Sure you didn't lady. You don’t want me looking like Ike admit it. You’ve seen the latest popularity polls as much as we have. The hotties are me and Tay, and Ike is the one over in the corner who harmonizes. I know how you people are.
Smile and nod and maybe she’ll go away so I can dress. Thank goodness she does. Hmm what shoes go with this? My yellow docs but of course. That’ll make Ike laugh. Oh well. Okay I’m dressed now what? Go find Ike and Tay.
“Zac, are you done?”
Right on time, Tay.
"Yeah.”
“C’mon they want us in hair and make-up.”
“Awww, must we do the make-up thing?”
“Yeah, we’re doing black and white pics.”
I open the door.
“You know what that means.”
"Yep, wear extra white make-up with odd black shades.”
“Yep. Cool outfit.”
“Thanks.”
I’m not even gonna compliment Tay. I personally don’t think leather pants and that shirt go but what do I know?
This lady with blue hair is going to do my hair? Oh dear, I like my hair thank you. She’s running her hands through it. I’m scared. What is she going to do? How come Ike gets a normal person, and oh dear, Tay got the gay guy. Oh, now that’s funny. I will have to make some comments to him about this one.
“So are you into experimenting?” The girl with blue hair asks.
“Why?”
“Well, what do you think of the color red?”
“Nice on shirts and shoes, but not my hair.”
“Orange?”
“See last statement.”
“How about purple?”
“Lady, I’m sorry that sometime in your life a blonde has wronged you but this blonde likes being blonde… so you know I think I can do my own hair.”
I snatch the brush from her and brush my hair and put it back into a neat pony.
“There that wasn’t too terribly difficult.”
There I told her. Even though I know full well that Taylor and Dad will have something to say about my ‘bluntness’ I don’t care. She deserved what I said and more. So there.
Make-up oh the simple pleasures in life. This sucks! I hate this… oh yuck, and she’s gonna cake it on. I wonder how long I’ll have to scrub to get this crap off.
Last time I scrubbed for an hour and still missed stuff. Mom had to scrub a little longer to get the rest off. And I had my braids in my hair and we had to take those down to wash my hair. God, that was a long night.
Oh joy, the picture time. Smile…. I don’t think I want to smile. How pissed would I make people if I didn’t smile? What am I talking about...? I’m the person that counts. Oh yeah, and dumb and dumber over here.
Well, that went swimmingly… oh dear, been in England way too much when words like swimmingly enter my vocabulary. At least I haven’t started calling people crackers. That is a plus.
The photographer kept calling me beetle. I don’t look a beetle. Why did he call me that? He didn’t call Ike or Tay a stupid little name. It’s just because I’m thirteen. Just because I’m the youngest. That’s discrimination I tell you. Oh shoot, I think that maybe I should pay attention to dad.
“…the French revolution….”
Oh look, the fluffy little clouds… the Albertane men, oh cool
“Master Zac, what is you’re pleasures for the day.”
“I think that I would like a can of Jolt and… and a nice fluffy pillow.”
“Zac? Zac, you aren’t paying attention to me.”
“Yes, I was, Dad.”
“What was the last thing I said?”
“Zac? Zac, you aren’t paying attention to me.”
“Zachary.”
"Sorry, Dad.”
Oh great. I wish I could just go back to bed. I’m board with this.
Growl. Growl. Shut up stomach; take a number behind bladder. I’m hungry sleepy and I have to pee and what are we doing? We are headed to an interview.
“Dad, I’m hungry.”
“We’ll, get something after the interview.”
"Okay.”
Man you can tell he doesn’t have to answer to my stomach. Because if he did, then he’d be getting me food like now. Gosh, I don’t want to do this interview.
“Well, hello you must be Taylor.”
The guy wants me to shake his hand I don’t think I want to it looks sweaty. And well, gross. Smile Zac and shake it. Ewww. Just as I thought. It’s like touching Taylor after a concert. Something you just don’t do. Wait a minute did he just say Taylor? I am not Taylor. You’d think someone would have shown him pictures or something.
“No, I’m Zac.”
He’s giving me a weird look. What do I have something on my face do I smell funny or something?
“I’m sorry you just look so different.”
Oh God, here we go with the ‘you have changed so much since the last album.’ C’mon people I’m thirteen it’s called PUBERTY. Good grief. Just keep smiling.
“I get told that a lot.”
Thank God it’s over. I’m hungry; Taylor over here looked at me when it growled the last time. C’mon dad feed me.
Well, if this day could go any slower I think that I’d have to shoot myself for entertainment. We finally ate. I ate all of my lunch, stole some of Tay’s when he wasn’t looking, finished Ike’s burger and conned Mackie into giving me his applesauce. Like I said I was hungry.
Now here I am siting patiently waiting for everyone to decide what order we should play one older song and four new songs off of the new album. How hard can this be? Play the new stuff and if they want to hear the old let them have the old. I tried to tell them this but they kept cutting me off.
“Guys, just play the new four in order as on the album and if they want to hear something old then play the older song.”
“Yeah, that sounds good. Why didn’t you think of that earlier?”
I did you moron. You just weren’t listening to me. I tried and if you would pay attention to me occasionally…. Forget it I’m talking to myself they can’t hear what’s going on up here… thank God.
“Hanson, Hanson, Hanson.”
God, I love the sound of them cheering for us. This has got to be the best thing.
“And here they are Hanson!!” the announcer screams.
I run onto the stage and jump and take out my squirt gun and soak 'em just the ones with Taylor signs do I get the wettest. Hahaha that's what you get you Taylor fan you. I run back to my drums.
“Hello Phoenix! You guys ready to rock?” Taylor asks them. They scream louder.
“Well, then let’s rock!” Isaac says and I count off the beat.
Man I love this stuff. Here we go. Oh man, look at the crowd they are so into it. Oh my Taylor. You don’t need to pound yourself into the ground. I can take care of the beat you don’t’ have to, thank you for your help. Oh crap, major drum move. There accomplished, shoot, sing. There done thank goodness. Oh shoot, here comes a flying object. HAHAHA hit Tay!
I begin to laugh. Ah the joy of concerts.
Oh bother, the not so fun but still kinda fun part. The meet and greet. I will get through this I will. Well guys this is where I let you off because I’m not gonna let you know what goes through my mind during this. Sorry but that’s not the right press pass. Buhbye.
