Chapter I
By Joanna Phillips
Springtime was approaching quickly but no air of cheer or excitement hung on the air. The table grew quieter by the day and there seemed to be no way to fix the strain between the people that had once been just like family.
Lou felt tears start to rise in her eyes as they had countless times in the past week. Everyone was so distant, even her new husband. They'd been married for nearly half a year, and it should have been the happiest time of their young lives. They still loved each other very deeply, but the dismal events had taken their toll on the young lovers.
The Pony Express had officially ended months ago, and now everyone sat and waited for the inevitable: a war between the states that would split the country, and everyone at the table, in two. There seemed no use in starting a fresh life with the ominous, destructive force hanging over their heads like a dark cloud.
South Carolina had succeeded in December, and they'd just received word that the garrison at Fort Sumter had been fired upon by the southerners. Lincoln had asked for seventy-five thousand volunteers to march against the South, and Lou knew it was only a matter of time before Virginia followed its southern sister in rebellion.
Her dark eyes darted to Kid, whose skin seemed to be stretched drum tight across his cheeks and whose eyes seemed to sink deeper into his worry wrinkled forehead daily. She knew it tore him apart to ignore his homeland when Virginia needed him most.
That's why she wasn't utterly shocked when his fork fell to his plate with a loud clatter that caused everyone to jump and he began to speak the words she'd dreaded for months.
"I feel like I should tell you all that I've decided…" he paused and Lou felt the tears flood into her eyes for she knew the next words already, "I've decided that I'm going home to fight for the South."
Lou would never forget the silence that followed Kid's words. Her eyes unconsciously darted to Jimmy, whose mouth hung slack in surprise, his fork paused in midair. She suddenly remembered what Kid had once said to her about the South:
"Lou, if they try to take my memories, I'm going home."
"You're gonna leave Rock Creek?"
"Leaving you…would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do. But staying would be harder."
Lou guessed he'd decided that, in fact, staying was too hard.
"What?" Cody demanded, the first to come out of the shock, "You can't be serious!"
"I am," Kid insisted and he sought Lou's hand, "Lou, honey, I know I should have talked to you first, but I just couldn't until now."
Large tears spilled out of Lou's eyes as she gently disentangled her hand from his and wiped at her cheeks, hating to let them all see her cry. She could think of nothing to say, but she felt betrayed by his choice; the South was his cause, certainly not hers.
"Are you already forgetting Noah?" Buck asked incredulously, his voice clipped with pain from the still fresh wound of the loss of their dear friend, "He'd turn over in his grave!"
"Damn it!" Kid roared, slamming the table with his fist and causing both Rachel and Lou to jump again, "When will you people learn that this isn't about slavery! I never owned a slave and I never wanted to! This is about protecting the soil that I was born on! It is about defending my home from the government! It is about preventing another tyranny!"
"But, Kid, Virginia isn't your home now, your family is here!" Rachel began.
Kid's voice softened as he looked at Lou, who was sitting very still and being strangely silent, "Yes, my family is here. But Virginia is still my home, and my heart tells me I have to go fight."
"And make your wife of not even a year a widow?" Jimmy demanded, standing up, "Damn it, Kid, you have a responsibility now to Lou! And if you go out there and play soldier, chances are you won't come back! I can't believe you'd leave her here!"
"I'm going with him!" Lou shouted, climbing to her feet, "You aren't leaving me here, Kid!" Fear had crept into her voice, stealing some of the sureness from her adamant words as she gently tugged at his sleeve.
"Of course she's going with me!" Kid growled back at Jimmy, ignoring Lou's gentle touch.
"You'd drag your wife into a war zone?" Jimmy snapped back.
"What business is it of yours, Jimmy? She's my wife!"
"And she'll soon be your widow!" Jimmy screamed back.
"Please stop it, both of you!" Lou demanded, silencing the two men who loved her so much, although only momentarily.
"Teaspoon, can't you talk some sense into him? I mean you're from the South too!" Cody wondered.
Teaspoon had fixed his gaze on the plate in front of him, grief filling his eyes and lining his face as this inevitable conversation took place. This was it, he thought, the beginning of the end of the family he'd grown to love so much.
"I thought you'd fight for your home too," Kid said suddenly, looking at the man he loved as a father.
Teaspoon sighed, and the boys were silent with respect for the wise old man, "Kid, I understand how you feel. I know what its like to love land like something tangible. Almost seems like the soil loves you back, gives you comfort. But I'm telling you, war ain't pretty son. Boys die. And in the end, it ain't never worth the cost. You got a family now, and not just Lou. You got us. You don't have to get involved in this war, son."
"So you're saying that when we fought the British, it wasn't worth it to gain our freedom? You're saying we should have just let the British lord over us for the rest of our lives rather than revolt?"
"I'm saying that you ain't never seen a war, and I ain't sure I ever even seen a war like this one is going to be. I'm saying that you got a family here, and that family is going to be hurt if you ride off to fight for the South. I'm saying that you got Lou to think about."
"So you aren't going to fight? What was all that talk about a while back with Jimmy? You said you were going home." Kid demanded.
"That was before Noah died, son. Like it or not, homeland or no, the side you are going to be fighting on is the same side that enslaves men and women. Now it ain't about slavery to you maybe, but to four million people in chains in the south, it sure is," Teaspoon said, then added more thoughtfully, "And to Noah, who I loved like a son, it was about slavery. And that one fact is keeping me from going home."
"Maybe so," Kid conceded, "But everybody's choosing sides, and I've chosen mine. We'll leave in a week. Noah would have understood I had to go."
"Wouldn't be so sure Kid, when did Noah ever understand your ties to the South?" Buck snapped resentfully, "Don't comfort yourself by putting false words into his mouth!"
Lou's eyes grew big as her husband's last words sank in. A week!
"So that's it?" Jimmy spat at Kid, "Aren't you even going to talk to your wife about this? Don't you think she deserves a say in this? Lou, are you just going to sit there? This is your life too!"
"My life is with Kid now. If he has to go, then so do I," Lou nearly whispered.
"Damn it Lou! Are you the same person you used to be? Has Kid drained the life out of you so quickly that you don't even speak for yourself anymore?" Jimmy demanded, smashing his fist on the table and standing up.
Lou opened her mouth to respond about the time Kid made a leap across the table and grabbed Jimmy's shirt. Jimmy was more than ready to fight back, and it took Lou and Buck pulling Kid back and Cody and Teaspoon grabbing Jimmy to finally break them apart.
Kid twisted free and started to storm out of the room.
"I hope I never lay eyes on you again!" Kid shouted at Jimmy, flinging the door open. It crashed against the wall and the windows rattled. A plate fell from a shelf and shattered into a million pieces.
Lou and Rachel both had tears running down their faces.
"Next time we meet, Kid, it won't be as friends!" Jimmy screeched after him, bringing the tears more rapidly down Lou's cheeks.
Kid growled something unintelligible, and slammed the door behind him with a force that caused everyone to jump.
"I don't believe this!" Cody growled, and started to storm out the other door of the bunkhouse. However, when he saw Lou sitting there, her eyes overflowing with tears, he couldn't help but stop to stroke her hair once gently before slamming the other door behind him.
The others soon dispersed in a similar disgusted manner, leaving only Jimmy and Lou standing in the bunkhouse that had been their home for just over two years.
"Lou, you've got to try and talk some sense into him."
Lou shook her head sadly and sighed, "Oh, Jimmy, I knew this day would come long before I married him. So much of Kid's honor comes from his belief in the land he was raised on. I don't think people that aren't from the South can understand it, but the land down there is prized above all else, and if Lincoln's made a move to invade his land, then he has to go."
"He doesn't have to go! Lou, he promised to take care of you, to protect you."
"In his way, he is protecting me. From who he'll become if he doesn't follow his heart, and from what will become of the country if the government is allowed to dictate the lives of southerners."
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a southern sympathizer. That little band of gold on your hand sure does carry a lot of weight, I guess."
"Jimmy, you know me better than that," Lou said, stung endlessly by his words, and he was instantly sorry, "And yes, this little band does carry a lot of weight! It means I'm bound to my husband, and whatever road he takes I must go where he goes!"
"Even to a land you've never seen while he leaves you alone to fight for a cause you are against?"
"Yes! I don't like it any more than you do, but you know Kid, Jimmy, he can't just sit here. Maybe he is too anxious to get blood on his hands, like you always said, but it is his choice."
"I'm sorry, Lou, just please try to talk him out of it. I don't want him to be killed," Jimmy admitted.
"Why don't you tell him that yourself? You've both been screaming at each other for so long, you've forgotten how much you love one another. You won't be able to change his mind, but you might be able to save your friendship."
Jimmy shook his head, and looked at Lou sadly. She was more beautiful than ever, and had thrived on married life. Her figure had filled out and was more womanly than in the express days, her hair longer and glossier, her eyes bright, and her skin usually flushed prettily. Tonight however, she looked pale and stricken, and fragile. God forgive me, he thought, I still want her for myself. I'd give my life for Kid, and yet I want what is most dear to him.
He didn't want to hurt Lou, and yet he knew he owed it to her to be honest, "Lou, I meant what I said. If he rides out of here to fight for the South, we become enemies. And that means that you and I can never see each other again."
A hiccoughing sob caught in Lou's throat and she ran to Jimmy and flung her arms around him tightly.
"Please don't do this! You know I love you Jimmy! I love you more than anything in this world, next to my husband! Don't make me choose between you, please!"
With tears standing in his eyes, Jimmy reached up to pry her arms from around his neck. He brought up both of his hands to cradle her cheeks and whispered, "Lou, you already have."
With that he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and choked out, "goodbye Lou" before he left the bunkhouse.
Lou wrapped her arms around herself and sat down at the empty table after he was gone, sobbing violently. Her eyes searched the small room as she recalled all the days and weeks and months that had passed with all of them laughing, loving, and surviving together.
Jimmy was right, Kid was asking her to leave everything familiar and to travel to a land she'd never seen, a land where she'd be an outsider, while he left her to fight for a cause she didn't believe in. It was so much to ask.
Sighing, she rested her forehead against the well-worn wood of the table that had hosted so many memories, and she resolved herself to leave. She would follow him to the very pits of Hell if he asked her to, because she loved him so completely.
And, she would discover, indeed it was a very real kind of hell that they were all approaching and a time when even the strongest of ties would be tested.
To be continued…Chapter I
Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author
