Chapter XVIII
By Joanna Phillips
Kid slowly straightened his back and wiped the sweat off his brow. He glanced down at his bare chest, also slick with sweat and shook his head. He loved Virginia dearly, but he didn't care for the humidity of the summers. Especially when digging holes for fence posts.
He swung his head slowly, attempting to stretch the tight muscles of his neck and shoulder. Scar tissue had formed over his shoulder wound, and though it was healed, the tissue was too tight and often caused him discomfort.
From her spot under the shade of a huge oak tree, Lou watched him sadly. His back was to her, and she knew he thought she was busy with her mending, or he never would have let on that his shoulder was bothering him. The scar tissue was a deep pink, turned even more so by the sweltering August sun. It was quite a contrast to his healthy brown skin.
Lou sighed and shifted uncomfortably. Her back was killing her today. It usually did, but today the pain was sharper, and more persistent. She turned back to her sewing reluctantly. It was practically all that she could do anymore. She would have preferred hard labor, she thought, and then with a slight twitch of her lips realized Kid would have preferred that as well. At least then she would have been to tired to argue with him.
She had to give Kid credit. He indulged her moodiness with such patience and understanding that sometimes she wanted to choke him. He refused to fight with her, which only served to make her feel more irriatated at times. Teaspoon laughed outright at her scowls and heated words, which only added fuel to the fire. She was sick of being allowed to constantly act horribly, but no one seemed ready to put her in her place. Not that she had any control over her moods.
She worried about Jimmy and Cody. They'd not heard from them since that night they rode off, after Gettysburg. It was no real cause for alarm, because communication was practically shut down in the South. They were lucky to hear of major battles within a few weeks after they were fought. She hated them for their honor, and yet, she loved them for that same trait.
At least Buck had stayed out of it, she thought. And Jonathan hadn't gone back to the Union. She sometimes wondered if he wanted to, if he would have if he hadn't betrayed his cause for her.
She never asked him. After his brother's funeral, she dared not. The death of Robert, the brother he'd never made peace with had changed him. While Catherine had grieved and sobbed and fainted when the body was delivered home, (unusual occurrence and nearly unheard of, especially after a slaughter like Gettysburg. But Robert Monroe had served Lee well, and his body had been delivered with a note of sympathy from the head of the Confederate Army himself) she had recovered.
Jonathan, except for the time he'd passed out when he'd first discovered Robert's death, had not reacted violently at all. There had been no tears from him at the funeral. Lou knew he hadn't grieved, hadn't allowed himself the luxury. The guilt he felt at having never righted the wrongs between him and Robert was slowly eating him away. He turned thin and pale, rarely smiled, and always looked blankly through anyone. No one, not even his concerned sister, dared breech the subject of Robert more than once with him.
Lou shuddered suddenly, despite the heat. It wasn't so long ago that Kid and Jimmy had been on similar terms as Jonathan and his brother. If something had happened to one of them, it would have destroyed the other. Even her cold parting with Jimmy and Cody, which she regretted at times when she allowed herself to think about it, wasn't the same. Jimmy and Cody knew she loved them. But there had been real mistrust and betrayal between Jimmy and Kid, just as there had between the Monroe men, and Lou thanked God that Jimmy and Kid had made their peace.
"What are you looking so thoughtful about?" Kid asked suddenly from above her, and a second later was sprawled on the ground beside her.
"Just thinking about you and Jimmy," Lou said quietly, "And Jonathan."
Kid sighed, and winced as he reached to scratch the scarred area on his shoulder. He sighed and shivered in satisfaction when Lou moved to draw her blunt nails across his skin.
"Yeah, I thought about that before too. Lucky, weren't we?" Kid said quietly.
"I don't know if I'd call everything that's happened lucky…but it is lucky that you two saw through your differences."
"How do you feel today?" Kid wondered, noticing that Lou's face looked pale, her skin a bit clammy.
"I'm fine," She said, "Just a little under the weather."
He didn't miss the sudden wince that crossed her face and Kid was on his feet instantly, "Come on, let's get you inside. You don't need to be out here in this heat."
"It isn't any cooler in the house!" Lou snapped, tired of her prison.
"Well, I want you in bed. I think we need to send for the doctor," Kid said, his voice worried, "You don't look well, sweetheart."
"I'm fine, Kid…" Lou protested verbally, but offered no physical resistance as Kid all but lifted her to her feet.
He set his arm firmly around her shoulders and she found her knees wobbly as he began leading her to the house.
She muttered all the way up about how she was tired of her bed, but Kid would listen to no argument. At the foot of the steps he placed a kiss on her forehead, called for Catherine to keep an eye on her, and pointed to the stairs.
"Up you go," He insisted.
Lou sighed and growled again, but reluctantly began the ascent, well aware that Kid's eyes were boring into her back. As another pain struck her hard, she paused, and thought that maybe Kid was right. Maybe she should rest, after all.
Suddenly, lights flashed before her eyes, mingled with darkness, and a gripping pain took hold of her and didn't pass. She swayed for a minute.
When Kid saw Lou stop dead cold, he took a step toward her. He called her name when she began wobbling, and had just reached the foot of the stairs when she collapsed all together, sliding down three stairs before Kid dove upwards to stop her from falling any further.
"Catherine! Get Buck to ride for a doctor!" He shouted as he turned her over, and saw she'd gone ghostly pale, "Hurry!"
Catherine appeared on the foyer, eyes wide. "What is going on? Is she alright?"
"I don't think so," Kid answered in a panicked voice, "Go! Get Buck now!"
Wordlessly, she turned to obey.
"Lou, Lou, what's wrong? Can you hear me?" Kid nearly shouted, brushing her damp hair from her forehead, "Sweetheart…what is wrong?"
Kid gently reached to sweep her up, staggering slightly under the boneless weight. He kicked the door open to their room and lay her on the bed, drawing back in horror when he felt something warm and sticky on his arm. At first, he thought her water had broken and felt slight relief. It was labor pains, he assured himself.
He glanced down at his arm, and instead found bright red blood covering it.
"Oh God, please, no…please not again," Kid whispered and paced back and forth once above her bed, unsure of what to do.
With no idea how to help his wife, who was lying so very still on the bed they'd spent many happy hours talking and rediscovering each other in, Kid did the only thing he could do.
He titled his head back and screamed for help.
"Kid, please, it will be easier if you go…" Catherine gently urged him, "We'll take care of her, and if there is any change we'll send for you right…"
She stopped abruptly when Kid turned an icy blue stare on her and sighed, "Alright. But you have to stay out of Lucinda's way."
Kid eyed the large black woman who bent over his wife with mistrust. Buck had ridden for the doctor, but town was an hour away. Although Lucinda had lived at Monroe hall all her life, and been a midwife for most of it, Kid wasn't sure he trusted the eccentric looking woman to care for Lou.
Teaspoon stood at the window, watching for the doctor. Jonathan sat downstairs, drinking brandy and looking more withdrawn that normal.
Lou lay on the bed silently, giving no clue as to why she'd lost consciousness so quickly.
"'Tis bad," Kid heard Lucinda whisper to Catherine, "The babe is turned badly, and she's too small to bear it. Too small."
"You fix it!" Kid suddenly heard himself shouting as if he'd stepped outside of his own body, "You get the baby turned! She can't lose this child."
"Be lucky if the child is all she loses," Lucinda muttered under her breath, turning back to her work.
"Kid!" Teaspoon intercepted the younger man who was on his way to throttle the midwife and shoved him roughly against the wall, "That ain't going to help."
"This woman doesn't know what she's doing! Teaspoon, we need a real doctor!"
"Buck will be back soon, son. She'll be alright. She's a tough one."
Lucinda cast a doubtful look at Teaspoon over her shoulder, but the look in both men's eyes stopped her from commenting. Shaking her head, she turned back to her patient.
A high pitched roar filled Lou's ears, and she shook her cloudy head to escape it. Suddenly, she awoke with a start, and realize the sound was that of her own hoarse voice, screaming in pain.
Like the delayed sound of a gunshot from a distance, the pain that hit Lou was not present immediately. However, in seconds she felt she was being cleaved asunder and another scream of pain tore from her lips, as her wide eyes suddenly fixed on the ceiling.
She felt tears in her eyes when Kid looked over her. Tears were coursing down his own cheeks and he was white as a ghost.
I must be dying She thought quietly.
"Lou, honey…" Kid's voice was choked with repressed sobs, "Lou, you're gonna be fine."
Lou watched him with a detached sort of interest. She tried to lift her hand to wipe his tears, but it was too heavy, and the effort exhausted her.
Laborously, she formed words that were so faint Kid had to lean close to her face to hear them. His tears dropped on her own moist face and mixed with her own on their journey to the pillow under her weak head.
"Kid," the word was little more than a release of air, "Kid, save the baby. Make sure Jamie is alright."
"Don't you talk like that Louise! You are both going to be fine!" Kid's voice trembled in rage.
"No…I don't think we are Kid. I don't think we're both going to pull through this…but I don't care. I've been lucky. I've had you. Now, I want to give you Jamie. I love you."
Kid shrieked as her eyes started to close, and put both hands on her cheeks slapping them urgently. Tiredly, she turned her stare up to his.
"No! I'm not doing this without you! The baby needs a mother, by God, and I will not have anyone besides you touch this child! You're not leaving me now, Lou! You are not!"
Lou smiled slightly at him, "That's the first time you've fussed at me in months."
Kid stopped suddenly, and met her eyes in amazement. Slowly, a shocked smile spread across his lips. He leaned down and brushed her forehead with his smile, his face crumpling into another sob as he whispered hoarsely, "Any more talk of leaving me and I'll do more than fuss. I'll beat you within an inch of your life."
Teaspoon watched the whole display with tears running in the sun weathered creases of his face. His eyes reluctantly darted to the blood stained sheets and gown, to the unhealthy gray color of Lou's face. Fuss as Kid might, Lou was weakening by the minute.
"No! Lou! Stay awake! Stay with me!" Kid's frantic voice made Teaspoon quickly look back to them, Kid now on his feet and bent frantically over her. His hands were again at her cheeks, slapping them lightly, then harder as she didn't respond.
Teaspoon quickly went to Kid's side and pushed the boy back, knowing that his touch was growing rough in his hysteria.
Kid struggled with all his might and nearly knocked Teaspoon down, screaming and reaching hands for Lou. Teaspoon shook him hard and his eyes bore into Kid's as he voiced a truth the young man didn't want to hear, "You can't help her, Kid! There's nothing you can do!"
Kid's scream was piercing, and echoed through the large walls of the house.
Lou awoke with a start at the same time, and her scream of an altogether different type of pain joined her husband's.
"Do something for her!" Kid shouted suddenly at Lucinda, the midwife, "Stop her pain!"
"There's nothing to stop the pain, mister," She replied, unperturbed. She'd seen too many similar scenes to get worked up at this one, "It'll be over soon."
Kid didn't know if she meant the pain or Lou's life, and he didn't dare ask.
Another raw cry from Lou filled the room, sending the hair on the back of Kid's neck straight up.
Catherine threw down the rag she'd been using to wipe off Lou's face, "By God, he'll just have to do it!" She exclaimed and without any word of explanation ran from the room.
Lou was screaming and thrashing in the throes of another splitting pain when Catherine reemerged, triumphantly dragging Jonathan behind her.
Both were tight lipped and flushed, obviously having just finished a brief but heated argument.
"Jonathan was a doctor before the war. He can help," Catherine finally said.
"He's drunk!" Kid growled.
"I'm not drunk," Jonathan said, rather dryly, and visibly paled as he saw Lou lying on the bed, "But this would be a hell of a lot easier if I was."
"You wanna tell us why the Hell you've been sitting downstairs this whole time while my wife was screaming in pain and bleeding to death! What kind of doctor are you?"
"None anymore. I was a doctor. And not a good one."
"Yes he was! He was a brilliant doctor! He just lost his nerve when his wife died. There was nothing he could have done to help," Catherine supplied slowly.
"How did his wife die?" Teaspoon asked, although the answer seemed plain from Jonathan's behavior today.
"In childbirth," Jonathan supplied before Catherine could respond, "And there wasn't a damn thing I could do, with all my training, to save either one of them."
"And this time?" Kid asked, his fingers twining in Lou's damp hair as she fell silent again.
Lucinda snorted in doubt, but left the room without a word at the looks Kid and Catherine shot her.
"This time?" Jonathan repeated, and sat at the foot of the bed to begin his examination, "This time, we'll see."
It wasn't the answer he'd hoped for, but he was more optimistic than Lucinda, and Kid decided to accept it.
The room grew silent as Jonathan worked and sweated and cursed and prayed. His hands moved with deftness that left no doubt to Kid nor Teaspoon that he had, in fact, been a skilled doctor at one time, before his confidence left him. Although his face was chalky white and pinched, he didn't hesitate. He knew what to do, Kid saw, but he also saw that he feared it wouldn't be enough.
Lou drifted in and out of consciousness, staying out for longer periods of time as night fell. Candles were lit in the room. Buck returned, after hours of searching for the doctor with no luck. Jonathan met his return with a stoic resolve. It would have to be him then. There was no one else.
Painful images of another woman lying on a similar bed down the hall flashed across his mind. A woman with hair the color of flames and eyes the color of the sky. Melanie, he thought, closing his eyes and placing a hand on Lou's leg to ground himself. A woman who had died with the promise that he'd save their child. He'd broken that promise as well. Not this time, he thought quietly. If he couldn't save both of them, he vowed to save at least one.
Dawn was streaking the sky the next morning when the most welcome sound in the world filled the room.
A lusty cry of protest from a pair of small, but healthy lungs. Kid broke into sobs as Catherine handed him the bundle.
"A boy," she smiled softly, "Lou said it would be a boy."
"How is Lou?" Buck asked, standing up restlessly from the chair he'd settled into.
Jonathan sighed, looked at his patient, and searched for words to explain that she barely clung to her life now. There were no words, he knew, and so he shrugged silently. He'd done all he could for both of them. He'd kept his vow that one would survive, and while he prayed for the other, he knew how small the chances were that she'd recover.
He closed his eyes and pictured Louise McCloud the first time he'd seen her, standing there with fires of rage in her eyes, and the strength of an army in her heart. If anyone could pull through, this spirited woman could, he thought. But there were simply limitations of the human body. And with the exception of ghosts, spirits could not, in the end, defy the body.
Kid, seeing the negative prognosis from Jonathan, sat down in his chair with the baby held at arm's length from him.
Beautiful, was his first thought. He shook his head in amazement and felt his heart beat faster. He was a father. This child was blood of his blood and bone of his bone. Every instinct in his body wanted to protect the odd little red person in his hands.
But at what price had this child been given to him? He looked at his mother, her breathing shallow and pained, bruises of exhaustion dark under her eyes. The woman he'd loved with all his heart, the only woman he could ever love, was dying because of this tiny child. He knew it wasn't James' fault in his heart of hearts, but the bitterness at the surface was too much.
Kid didn't know whether to drop the child in disgust, or bring him close to his body and wrap himself around this miracle that he and Lou had created.
In the end, he did neither.
He held his son James at a distance, and alternately looked at the tiny perfection of his form and the woman who fought for her life.
To be continued…Chapter XIX
Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author
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