A Bond So Strong

Jimmy walked out to the barn quietly, hands shoved deep into his pockets. The night air had a sharp bite to it, but he didn't really feel it.

Once inside the old barn he found himself drawn to the same stall that always called him…Katy's.

The gentle paint mare pushed her face out over the door and nickered upon seeing him. Jimmy sighed, and felt glad that Kid had arranged to leave her in Rock Creek while he went to fight. Kid hadn't been able to bear the thought of her shot in battle, and knew she'd be an easy target with her loud color. Although it was comforting to have a piece of his old friend around, especially with him so distant now, Jimmy found it painful at the same time.

It brought back too many memories of happier times. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth when he remembered how, at first, Kid had wanted to sleep in the stable, instead of the bunkhouse with all of them.

Jimmy stroked the beautiful mare as he did almost every night, feeling as if he owed it to Kid to pay her special attention. "Damn sight more personable than your owner, girl," Jimmy muttered to her, as he did quite often, and again let his mind drift to the rift between he and Kid.

Jimmy shook his head and felt the old anger flare in his chest when he thought of Kid fighting for the Confederacy.

"What a fool!" he exclaimed softly, releasing his breath, a cloud of vapor in the frosty air, "has the whole world in his hands and he is willing to throw it all away!"

Thinking of Kid inevitably turned his thoughts to Lou. Gingerly he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the last of her letters to him. His heart grew heavy as he gently unfolded the well-worn creases and sank down in the sawdust to read it yet again.

Dear Jimmy,

I guess I should finally admit to myself that you are not ever going to write back. I didn't really believe until now that you would really cut all ties with me. There have been so many days I've sifted through my mail, longing to hear from you, to know you are well…but I hear from Rachel, Cody, Buck, and Teaspoon that you are in good health. But they say you are often melancholy, and sometimes I almost hope that it is because you miss Kid and I. Don't think I'm being cruel, it is just because we miss you, Jimmy…I miss you! We went through so much together, and I love you like family. These are such hard times for me, Jimmy. I know they are hard for everyone. Sometimes I just want to quit, and throw my hands in the air and scream 'Enough!' But I can't, and I know you understand that. As much as you hate it that I'm here with Kid, in the South, I know good and well you understand why I had to come. And I know that you understand just as completely why Kid is here. Oh why do you both have to be so damn proud?

I haven't seen or heard from Kid in months. The only way I have of knowing if he is alive is by word of mouth and horribly unreliable casualty lists. I just thank God that none of you are involved in the fighting. I couldn't bare searching those lists for your name as well! I work in the hospital in town, and watch boy after boy die screaming. Oh God, when will this madness end, Jimmy?

I sigh as I write these words, because I know in all probability you will refuse to read them. Oh, Jimmy, if you are reading this, can't you find it in your heart to reply, just once? Just a line or two to say that you are alright, that you are surviving, that you hate me, anything, anything at all would be welcome! I suppose you can't-rather you won't-do that. So I'm writing to tell you that you'll get your wish if I don't hear from you this time, Jimmy. I won't write you anymore, and I won't bother you. I'll let you just forget me completely if that is what you want…but whatever your response to this letter is, my dear old friend, know that I love you with all my heart and wish the best for you always. You are one of the greatest men I've had the honor of knowing, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise!

Love Always, Lou

Tears stung the back of Jimmy's eyes as he folded the letter again with trembling hands. How many times had he picked up a pen and a piece of paper to reply to her? How many crumpled sheets of incoherent thoughts and apologies to Lou had he burned in the fire? Lou had been true to her word. The last letter had come almost six months ago, and she hadn't written him again. Occasionally he saw her neat handwriting in mail going to one of the others, but never to him.

It broke his heart. Especially as Christmas approached and thoughts of their old family penetrated every moment. He missed Kid, Lou, Noah, Ike, Emma, and Sam whole-heartedly. He also hated the inactivity of his life. He acted as deputy of Rock Creek, but there was no action. Everyone was fighting the war or the winter, and that left no time for trouble making. Cody was serving with the army in the West, and doing a lot of work scouting. They sometimes didn't see him for weeks at a time. Buck divided his time between Rock Creek and the Kiowa, and Rachel was busy teaching school.

Jimmy wasn't sure where he fit in. Countless times he considered joining the Union, but the thought of facing Kid on a field of battle sent a cold chill down the length of his spine, and, if he entertained the thought long enough, brought a clammy sweat beading on his forehead. He could never kill Kid, not for any cause.

He took a moment to wonder if Kid felt the same. Kid's love of the South was so strong that he doubted if Kid would hesitate too long in doing whatever it took to win the war.

"Lou, how's Jimmy?"

Lou turned around from where she was trimming the tree Kid had insisted on cutting down and dragging into the house, and smiled gently. Her husband tried to hide it, but he still loved Jimmy as much as she did.

"Rachel said he's doing fine. He's working as Teaspoon's deputy."

Kid smiled, "Who would have thought that the hothead we first met would one day end up upholding the law instead of looking for ways to break it?"

Lou laughed lightly, and stood back to admire the red ribbons she'd tied symmetrically on the tree.

Suddenly she felt Kid's arms slide around her waist from behind, and she leaned her head back against his chest as they surveyed the small Christmas tree together.

Kid kissed her cheek softly, and Lou was concerned at the feverish feel of his cheek as it pressed against hers. But asking about his health had only ended in them fighting about him going back to the army, so she chose not to say anything…yet.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" Lou sighed, running her fingers lightly over his arms.

"Yes you are, I mean it is," Kid grinned boyishly, and then set her on her feet and moved to the tree, "Almost perfect, in fact."

"Almost?" Lou demanded softly, not sure if he was referring to her or the tree, but not pleased for either to be just almost perfect.

Kid suddenly snatched a ribbon from the tree.

"Kid! It was perfect! They were all evenly spaced, and now…"

Lou's voice trailed off as Kid came to stand in front of her. Gently he put both hands on her shoulders and spun her around. Then his hands were running through her hair, hair that now reached halfway down her back in waves of shining auburn, and he was lifting it off her neck. When he had done his best at creating somewhat of a braid down her back, he tied it with the red ribbon in a ridiculously large bow.

Lou giggled as she felt hairs already escaping brush against her cheek.

"Maybe you should be a barber instead of a soldier, dear," She jested him.

"Maybe you should be quiet," Kid growled softly, but though she had her back to him, Lou could hear the smile in his voice.

"Dinner is almost ready," She began softly, turning around and faltering a bit when she saw the look in his eye. It was so loving, so passionate that she felt gleeful and excited, but also so sad to know soon she wouldn't be able to look into his eyes for a long time.

"Dinner can wait," Kid whispered, and took Lou into his arms.

A while later, Lou sat with Kid, curled up on the floor in front of their fireplace. It was Christmas Eve, and Lou had what she wanted most in the world, Kid by her side.

She glanced up at him to see his eyes half-closed. She hated to admit it, but her husband didn't look well. He tired easily, and a cough was beginning to bother him. He always seemed to be running a low fever, and he didn't eat enough, though Lou constantly tried to tempt him with food.

Her mind drifted back to last Christmas, when she, Ben, and Kid had sat down on Christmas Eve and drank fine brandy and talked of their families. They'd both been so full of energy and so glad to be home, and she hadn't been able to keep enough food on the table to feed their veracious appetites. Ben had been so warm, and funny, and kind, and Lou felt tears rise to her eyes as she thought of him now, buried in a mass grave somewhere in Virginia, so far from his beloved Georgia.

The tears rose higher as she thought of how hard it had been to watch them march off down the drive together. She'd taken comfort in the fact that Ben would watch out for Kid. She didn't know how she would bear watching him march out alone, sick and cold, to a company where he didn't know a soul.

She also remembered her hope and joy at discovering she was carrying Kid's child not long after he marched away. She remembered putting the letter in the mail to him, nearly dancing as she imagined his joy when he received it. Kid had wanted children, and had been so sad when he learned that her brother and sister had been living with a family in St. Joe that loved them. They hadn't wanted to leave, and Lou didn't have the heart to make them. The news that Kid was going to be a father was the one bright spot in a very dark and terrifying year of skirmishing and battles.

Her lips trembled as she thought of the day she'd lost her child. It had been the most devastating experience of her life, and she'd gone through it alone. Kid would want to know, and Kid had the right to know, she realized, and gathered her nerve to tell him the truth.

"Lou, I see Ben's face in my nightmares, mutilated by that shell," Kid suddenly broke into her thoughts, his voice clipped with sobs as he confessed to her, "Lou, I don't understand why they died and I lived!"

Lou instantly wrapped her arms around him, and laid her head against his, chasing the thought of sharing her secret with him away for the moment. He had seen too much to live with the guilt of knowing that she'd gone through a miscarriage without him. "Oh, Kid, I know! Please, tell me about everything! In your letters you make everything sound so much better than it must be! I want to know, Kid! Please tell me!"

And Kid drew a deep breath and told her of some of the horrors he'd witnessed. There were some that were just too unspeakable though, and he refused to burden her heart with them.

Lou listened with tears running down her face, partly the result of her husband's accounts of war, and partly because of the realization that she couldn't tell Kid about their child. It would weigh so greatly on his overburdened soul to know he hadn't been there for her.

After a while they settled down to watch the fire in silence, content to just be together.

Kid suddenly was given to a fit of coughs that wracked his chest and left him gasping.

Lou instantly was up, bringing warm compresses to lay on his chest, and feeling his head for fever. It was higher than earlier in the day.

"Oh, Kid, you are so sick! There is no way you can go back in two days! You'll catch your death! Do you know how many boys die from sickness? Many more than from battle wounds!"

"I'm going back!" Kid growled stubbornly.

"The hell you are!" Lou spat back, "If I have to drug you and tie you down, you aren't leaving till you get better!"

"You'll do no such thing! The Confederate Army decides when I come and go, not you, Lou!" Kid growled bitterly, knowing she was right, but adhering to his sense of duty and patriotism.

"If the Confederate Army has a problem with it, then Robert E. Lee can come marching up to our door and speak with me about it! And if I were you, I'd fear my wrath a lot more than the Confederate Army's!" Lou snapped, "Now, let's get you to bed!"

"Lou," Kid began angrily, but was cut off by another round of coughing.

Kid sighed sheepishly when he got his breath back. Anything he said after that point just wouldn't help his argument, he realized, and he meekly let Lou help him up to bed.

They said no more about his impending schedule of departure, nor Lou's determination to keep him there that night or the next day.

Lou fixed a Christmas dinner, her cooking lessons from Ellen showing in the wonderful smells drifting from the kitchen all day, and Ellen and Henry joined them, combining their own Christmas dinner into one huge feast. There was laughter, and warmth and a sense of family that Lou hadn't felt since they left Rock Creek. Kid sat wrapped in a huge blanket in his chair by the fire later that night when Lou walked in shyly, with something behind her back.

"What are you up to?" He demanded with a slight smile.

"Nothing…I just got you a little something for Christmas is all," Lou approached him and kneeled at his feet, bringing the small package up to rest on his lap, "It isn't much, Kid…we don't have a lot of money you know, and the blockade has cut out almost every luxury in town."

Kid blinked and stared at Lou, who gazed up at him with her eyes shining brightly in the firelight. She looked beautiful in a hunter green velvet dress, and her hair twisted back neatly. His heart suddenly swelled with love and appreciation for her, and tears rose in his eyes.

"Well, don't cry, it isn't that bad of a present!" Lou charged him, but felt tears rising in her own eyes as well as she folded her arms across his knees and set her chin on them, looking up at him as he picked up the package.

Kid opened the tiny package with trembling fingers, and pulled out a small charm on a silver chain. His eyes looked to Lou for explanation.

"It's Saint Christopher, the protector…he'll keep you safe," Lou said, and bowed her head as tears rolled out of her eyes. The thought of anything as small as the charm keeping him safe from the war that raged on outside was absurd, but she dared to pray that it would help somewhat.

"I'm sure it will, Louise," Kid said as he climbed down from his chair to wrap his arms around her, "But while we're doing this, I happen to have a little something for you too."

He kissed the top of her head and left the room to come back a moment later with a small package. Her hands trembled as she opened it, and found inside an official looking piece of paper. She looked to Kid with her eyebrows drawn together.

Kid smiled and explained, "Lou, this is the deed to some property…some very special property. It is the deed to the old Sweetwater station. After the express ended, Russell, Majors, and Wadell had to sell off everything, you see," he paused and smiled gently as tears of joy started rolling down her cheeks, "I remembered how happy we were there, and thought it might be a good place to start over, after the war. We could raise horses like we always talked about."

"Oh, Kid!" Lou breathed, and kissed him gently.

"There's one more thing, Lou…" Kid felt tears well again in his eyes as he said, "The property is all in your name, its your land, in case…" he smiled sadly as she shook her head in horror, refusing to admit the possibility of his next words, "in case I don't make it through the war. I was going to wait till after the war to give it to you, and Teaspoon still has a copy of all the paperwork in case anything happens to me. I just wanted to see the look on your face when I gave this to you, just in case I don't have another chance."

At this Lou burst into sobs and flung her arms around Kid's neck, unable to believe that he would be ripped from her grasp in just a few days time to go out into the bloody war yet again. She loved him too much to go on without him, and yet he'd made provisions for her to live out their dreams alone should he not survive the war.

"I'm begging you, Kid, don't go back!" Lou sobbed, "let's go now! Let's go and forget the blood and the hate! Let's start our life! The Confederacy has had you for two years! When is it my turn?"

"Lou, we can't forget the blood and the hate. I've started this fight, and I have to see it through, to the bitter end. Too much has been lost for me to give up now! If I do give up, what has it all been for? Why have you and I been through Hell for two years? No, Lou. The war won't last forever, and I don't plan on ending up like the rest of my company. But for them, I have to go on, and for them I have to survive!"

Lou felt hot words of disagreement rise to her lips, but she quelled them and instead turned her face into Kid's neck and hugged him tightly.

There was no way to avoid it. Though she'd talked Kid into staying a few extra days at least to get better, she couldn't talk him into abandoning the South.

His love for the South may not have been as strong as his love for her, Lou realized, but it had been burning in his soul for much, much longer.

Lou shivered against the frosty air as she ducked inside the small barn. The chickens and cow left there were happy to see her as she fed them. Sadly, she recalled how well stocked the barn had been before the war. Although she and Kid had left their horses in Rock Creek to be protected from the ravages of war, they'd been able to purchase an old mule, two cows, several pigs, three goats, and many chickens. Now all that was left was the old milk cow and six or seven hens. The Confederate Army had started delving into the supplies of its citizens very early into the war, and she might have been bitter if she hadn't realized it meant Kid got one more meal.

She came out of the barn shivering with the cold, and not even her thick, chocolate brown velvet dress and cloak helped to warm her. It was a miserable, wet winter, which wasn't helping Kid's illness at all. He grew sicker by the day, and was too weak to stay out of bed for more than a few hours.

She raised her head and searched the tree crowded horizon as the sharp smell of smoke suddenly permeated her nostrils. Wrinkling her brow in confusion, she wondered who in the world would be burning leaves at a time like this, with the ground covered in snow.

The air grew cloudy with smoke as she walked back to the house, and she realized whatever was burning must either be very close, or very large.

Then a movement caught her eye through the snow covered trees, and her heart slammed against the wall of her chest. Down on the road, moving in a slowly undulating, but seemingly never ending wave of blue was a large company of Yankees. Suddenly, it was apparent why the air was filled with smoke. They were burning the houses of the citizens of Virginia, determined to shorten the war by raping the land.

They now turned and marched up her drive, coming slowly but strongly. She glanced helplessly up at the old farmhouse, and then at Henry and Ellen's century old home. The older couple was in Richmond, visiting their daughter, and there was no one to help her protect both of their homes but a very sick Kid, who would be taken prisoner if they discovered him.

She never imagined she would fear and hate the sight of the Union uniform so much. They were not her enemy, they were her husband's…but it had never been so clear that she was bound to her husband so completely that whatever threatened him instantly became a hated foe. A rapidly burning fury ignited in her chest and the pail of milk she was carrying clattered to the ground and mixed with the snow as she lifted her skirts and sprinted for the house.

There was no time to warn Kid of the danger he was in, so Lou paused only long enough to grab the rifle from the closet before bursting out onto the front porch. She carefully propped the weapon out of sight, behind the column of the porch. She took deep breaths as the first of the soldiers came into clear view, and drew herself to her full height, never feeling the disadvantage of her small stature so completely as she did now.

Lou stood her ground, even as the long line of blue coats grew closer to her home. She did not lean against the railing of the porch for support, but rather stood straight and proud, showing none of the fear that made her knees tremble beneath the billowing skirts of her dress.

The Union troops, under the command of Captain Joseph Kent, advanced steadily toward the large old farmhouse. Several of the soldiers glanced away from the woman on the porch uneasily, knowing the grim task ahead of them. Several more, however, stared at her with a mixture of awe and fear.

Jonathan Monroe was one of the latter. As he watched the young woman stand her ground the hair at the back of his neck stood on end. He knew that it was foolish for him to feel what resembled fear as he gazed on her, but the look in the small woman's fiery brown eyes was enough to halt the entire Army of the Potomac and send it running back to the sea. If he lived to be a hundred years old he'd never forget the look in those large, expressive eyes. They were beautiful, and framed by long eyelashes, but it wasn't their beauty that held so many of the soldiers captive; it was the fire within them. They blazed and snapped with lives of their own, and such fury and hatred beamed from them that Jonathan moved his hand closer to his weapon as if to protect himself from her. The look in her eyes was equaled by the set of her jaw, her stormy scowl, and the fists clenched in helpless rage at her side.

Joseph Kent halted his company, and they fanned out across Lou's snow covered lawn.

"Are you alone, ma'am?" He called to her.

"I can assure you I do not have a hundred men behind me like you do, so surely there's no reason for you to be alarmed!" Lou replied in a voice that was too calm to be anything but deadly.

"Is anyone else in the house?" The Captain repeated.

Lou felt as if she might be ill right there in front of them. She couldn't very well turn Kid over, but at the same time, if they burned her home, she'd have to.

"Answer me, Miss!" The Captain demanded.

"It's Mrs.!" Lou screeched back, "What right do you have to burn a lone woman out of her home! I'm not even a Southerner! I'm only here because my husband fights for the South!"

"Sadly, you must pay for his misdeeds! He is a rebel, he has committed treason against his country by taking arms against it! Search the house for valuables! Then burn it to the ground!" Joseph Kent barked to his men. Lou took dark satisfaction in knowing all their valuables were buried safely, except the most valuable thing of all, Kid.

"No!" Lou growled, and leapt for the rifle, pointing it at the Captain's heart. "Order them back!" she screamed, cocking the hammer, "or I'll kill you!"

"Ma'am, you can't honesty expect to stand alone against a whole company of soldiers! Put the gun down! You will not be harmed, I assure you!" The Captain began.

Jonathan Monroe had crept quietly around the house and up the back stairs of the porch. Ever so slowly he advanced on the woman who was now holding the gun on his superior. In one fluid motion he leapt for her and snatched the gun from her hands, while locking restraining arms around her struggling form.

"Let me go!" She screeched, and turned all her energy against the tall man with jet black hair and bright green eyes she had noticed staring at her earlier.

"Be still, and you won't be hurt! There is no way for you to stop this, and it will be easier if you don't fight!" He growled in her ear.

Suddenly though, the door to their house flew open and a weak, pale Kid appeared on the porch with his revolver pointed at Jonathan's head.

"Let go of my wife right now, Yank, or today will be your last!"

To be continued…Chapter III

Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author

The Way Station
Campfire Tales

Email: gliterin@bellsouth.net