Chapter XII
By Joanna Phillips
Callie let herself into the jail, where the dying embers of the stove cast dark shadows in every corner. She stood still a moment, allowing her eyes to adjust to the dimness. Cyrus Stevenson clamored to his feet nervously, and placed both hands on the bars. Callie looked as wild and fierce as any soldier he'd ever met in battle, and he didn't like the fact that he was alone with her.
"Miss Sullivan, why, you'll catch your death in that nightgown!" Cyrus said, and a ruthless smile tugged at his lips, "Have you come to join me in bed again?"
Callie walked up to him, and pulled out one of Jimmy's guns from the folds of her nightgown. She had not given it back when she realized Cyrus wasn't dead--she still had use of it. Cyrus jumped back as she stopped inches from the bars.
"Oh, you've come to avenge your family! Of course! You realize though, that they are never coming back. You could kill me and you'd still never see your dear papa again!"
A tear escaped Callie's eye at the cold truth of his words. This man had wrought havoc in her life that could never be repaired. "Why didn't you kill me too?" Callie demanded of him, asking the question that had haunted her day in and day out, "wouldn't that have made things much easier?"
Cyrus studied her for a minute, and cocked his head as if debating whether to answer her or not.
Callie leveled the gun at his forehead. "Cyrus, you are not in the position to deny me right now! You answer me!"
Cyrus smiled and sat down on his bunk, crossing his stout legs in front of him and folding his arms behind his head in a nonchalant manner that unnerved Callie and infuriated her at the same time. "Because, my dear, you were too beautiful to kill. I desired you for myself. You reminded me of your mama when she was young."
"How would you know about her?" Callie hissed, "She was from Georgia!"
"Ah, and so am I! I loved her. In fact, I'd asked her father for permission to court her, but an honest soldier was not good enough. No, she had to marry into the planter's aristocracy! My God, how your mother shined! And pity the poor fool she cast her eyes upon. They'd stand in line to speak to her, to wait on her hand and foot…not unlike the boys used to do for you, Callie."
"Used to," Callie emphasized, "Before you took everything I had away and turned me into this!"
Cyrus continued as if he hadn't heard her, "I professed my love to your mother, but she was interested in the money of the wealthy Sullivans and so she declined!"
"Liar! She loved my father dearly! She didn't care about the money! None of us did!"
"Easy enough to say when you've always had plenty of it!" Cyrus charged the girl. "I hated your father. He was the only thing that ever stopped me from getting what I wanted. I decided to ruin him. Worked for years in the Congress, gaining allies and credibility, and money. See, I intended to take away from your mother all she loved."
Callie was weeping, her hand still trembling on the gun, "I thought you loved her. Why would you want to hurt her? To kill her?"
"Because the years had gone by, and I stopped fancying her."
"Then why not just leave us alone!" Callie demanded furiously.
"Because, my dear, your father insulted me. In fact, he ruined my career!"
"Because you tried to ruin him first! All he did was to expose your lies!"
"Doesn't matter. He's dead, as are all of your damn brothers! But one! Damn Daniel Sullivan! I'd put a bullet in his skull if I could this moment! And yours too Callie! I desire you, I even admire you! You have a spirit like mine! Relentless, cold, calculated! We could make a good team! But you've cost me too much! You've ruined everything!"
"My God! Are you even human?"
"I shot them all in the back you know," he said calmly, "Then I turned them over and let them see who had killed them. I kissed your mother like I always wanted to. And I whispered to your father that I would have his land and his daughter. And I did, Callie. I did have you. But you got away."
Callie raised the gun again and held out the deck of cards, "pick one!" she whispered, her voice shaking wildly.
"Now, my dear, what good will it do you to get yourself thrown into jail?"
"I don't care! Pick a card!"
Cyrus rolled his eyes, and shook his head, "My girl, I don't have time for card tricks!"
"I'll pick one for you!" Callie screamed, and quickly drew a card from the top of the pile.
It was the queen of hearts. Tears filled her eyes as she remembered the day Cyrus had killed her brother, remembered the grief stricken days that had followed. She thought back to the days when she had been happy and carefree. She remembered how laughter--often her own--had echoed through the marble halls of their fine house, how her brothers' shouts had carried on the wind as she plunged ahead of them in races on horseback.
And because of Cyrus, she'd been filled with bitterness and hatred that daily poisoned her soul and broke her will. It would stop tonight. Her trembling hand tightened on the pistol.
Jimmy awoke with a start, not sure what it was that had caused him to bolt upright in bed. His head nearly clashed with the rafters as he looked around the cold room. No one else had stirred, and yet he felt certain there had been something to wake him, some noise or disturbance. His heart beat in his throat as he listened intently but heard nothing. Laying down and trying to go back to sleep proved useless, so he quietly climbed off his bunk, careful to avoid the sprawled arms of the snoring Cody. Lou sat up slowly in bed and met his eyes, looking confused.
"Go back to sleep Lou, everything is okay."
She blinked at him sleepily, clearly not fully awake in the first place, and fell back against her pillow in what would have been a comical manner if Jimmy hadn't been so uneasy. He quickly dressed and let himself out of the bunkhouse.
He made his way quickly toward the jail, worried that the senator's men had helped him escape. His stride quickened to a jog when he saw the door to the jail standing open. His heart beat in his throat as he slipped on something and looked down to find playing cards scattered all over the floor. Cyrus lay sprawled on his bed, mouth open.
"Cyrus!" Jimmy called out, sure that the man was dead. Much to his relief, the senator jerked awake and stumbled to his feet. "Where's Callie?" He demanded when the senator stared at him with relief.
"Callie who?" He said with a smug grin.
"Damn it, Cyrus! If you know what's good for you…"
"Spare me the threats boy," Stevenson said, his attitude cocky.
"Stevenson!" Jimmy roared, "I know she's been here! Where did she go you son of a bitch?"
"Hmmm, perhaps she left town, or perhaps I killed her and chopped her into tiny pieces…and then swallowed them all to destroy the evidence!"
"Cyrus," Jimmy began, voice trembling in rage.
"You know, I really should demand better protection. That lunatic woman could have taken my life tonight, with me helpless in this cell. But I took care of her, don't worry, I'm fine!"
Jimmy's hands itched to wring the senator's pale neck. He knew Cyrus wasn't going to budge and tell him anything about Callie because Cyrus knew there was nothing he could do to make him. Jimmy stormed out of the jail, sure to leave the door open in the hopes that the cold would bring about Cyrus' death.
Jimmy jogged quickly through the quiet, cold town, heading for the stable. He slowed his gait and shook his head as he passed the charred saloon. The air still smelled of smoke from the ordeal. He found her where he thought he would, standing in the stall with the Ghost. Her shoulders heaved with great sobs, and she shivered violently, though she felt no cold.
"Callie," The words were a soft invitation that left Jimmy's mouth before he knew he had spoken. Jimmy slowly stepped into the stall with the girl and her horse. She jumped and turned to look at him, her face and collar soaked with tears. Jimmy could only gaze at her for a minute, not knowing how to make her hurt ease.
"Callie, you must be freezing," Jimmy murmured when he finally could find the strength to look away from those eyes long enough to pull off his jacket and wrap it around her shoulders. Her tears had ebbed with her surprise at seeing him there, but at his gentle touch she broke into sobs again and pushed herself into his arms. Her strength was finally all gone, and she could carry on no more without letting go of some of her pain.
Callie sobbed as she never had before. Everything that she'd lost had finally hit her, and she felt she would break under the strain of the loss. It was over and she had her revenge and her justice and it did nothing to bring those she'd lost back to her. In fact, standing in this stable in this foreign place, she'd never felt further removed from her family.
"It's time to let it go," Jimmy whispered as he tightened his hold on her, "It is over."
"He destroyed me! He destroyed all of us!" Callie sobbed, pressing her cold nose against Jimmy's neck.
"He didn't! Don't you see, you won? If you would have killed him back there, he would have beaten you!"
"I want to kill him!" Callie cried softly, her voice muffled, "I want him to die! But I can't imagine a death painful enough to make up for all he's done! And I want him to suffer and to know that Sullivan Manor will carry on!"
The words were bittersweet to Jimmy because he knew then that she would soon leave him, that she would pick up the pieces of her old life, in a world far, far from Rock Creek. Callie felt Jimmy stiffen beneath her head and arms and looked up at him slowly. His eyes were fixed on hers.
Those eyes! she thought, as if the first time he saw me he saw straight through me and recognized what I was worth, even though I'd forgotten.
"You knew all along, didn't you?" Callie said, her eyes misting with new tears; tears for the good man holding her, "you knew that I wasn't hateful and dirty…and all that everyone tried to make me…and nothing I could do would convince you otherwise, even when I wasn't sure of that myself."
"Of course I knew," Jimmy said softly, his eyes searching hers, "I knew you were special, but stubborn, and afraid…Callie, when will you leave, because I…"
"Shhh," Callie stopped him, placing a finger on his lips as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks, "I still haven't told you what I saw when I looked at you…what I still see."
"Callie," Jimmy began, squirming uncomfortably.
"No, I want you to know," Callie whispered, "I see the kindest man I've ever known. I was enchanted, you know, that's why I resented you so much. You were everything that I missed and loved and had hoped for once in my life, and yet I knew I couldn't have you because of what I'd become."
"But you could have me," Jimmy said quietly, his own cheeks turning a fiery red.
Callie met his eyes in surprise, and Jimmy looked back at her, looking surprised to have said the words as well. Then slowly he bent his head down to kiss her. The fury and pride and passion that boiled in the blood of both of them soon rose and they challenged the other with it, each rising to meet new levels of heat. The agony both of them felt at the idea of parting was sharp and real and they clung to each other as if they would never let go. Jimmy wove his fingers into Callie's hair, as if he could anchor her to him that way.
"Don't go," Jimmy said breathlessly when finally he lifted his mouth from hers.
She bent her head into his collarbone and shook her head, wrapping her arms around him tightly, "Jimmy, I have to. There are too many broken pieces of me along the path from here to New Orleans, and I have to pick them up if I'm to have a chance at a life."
Tears threatened Jimmy's eyes as he realized the truth in her words.
"Come with me," She said quietly.
Jimmy jumped in surprise and stepped back to look Callie in the eye at the invitation. God, what was stopping him, he thought. Every instinct initially told him to agree, to follow her to the ends of the Earth and back. Even the image of Lou and the boys didn't seem to phase him.
Then he pictured where she was going, and called to mind that picture of the sweeping plantation house that was tended by hundreds of unseen slaves. As much as he loved the fiery woman in front of him, he knew they came from different worlds. Those worlds were clashing like never before, and the conflict would get much, much worse before it got better.
"I can't, Callie. You know that."
"What do we do, Jimmy? I don't want to lose you now! I've only just found you!"
Jimmy shook his head, "One day, if it is meant to be, we'll find a way. But now we can't be together. We'd only resent each other down the road for it. I've seen what happens to men and women who give up too much too soon." Jimmy pulled her to him to hide the doubt in his eyes. She was perfect for him, he thought, there was nothing the two of them couldn't work through. But his past and his mistakes would never leave him alone, and he had to let her go to keep her from being hurt by who he was. There was no doubt that he could have convinced her to stay with him, but he couldn't do that to her.
He briefly pictured Lou's wise eyes before him as she warned him that thoughts like that would guarantee a life of solitude.
But then again, he'd already resigned himself to such a life. He would send Callie home, where she would one day forget about him and find someone else more worthy of her fine heart.
"Jimmy, I love you," the words floated up to him. It should have overjoyed him, but instead a bittersweet pain centered in the vicinity of his heart.
Jimmy couldn't lie to her though, so he whispered, "I love you too."
With that Callie slowly raised on her tiptoes and claimed Jimmy's mouth again. Jimmy closed his eyes, wondering at the amount of pain in this life, and pulled Callie close to him.
*
Jimmy felt a bit numb as he watched the flurry of activity from the hard packed dust of the bunkhouse. Callie stood dumbly at his side, holding on to his arm tightly. Both of them found their hearts beating unnaturally fast and their stomachs clenching with dread at the approaching departure.
Daniel Sullivan went about loading their belongings into the buckboard slowly. He sent a sideways glance at his sister, concerned by her paleness. The young man at her side looked as if he might fall over at any moment. It had been a week since they had brought the senator back. He'd barely seen his long lost sister in that time, for she'd been glued to James Hickok's side. They took long walks together, went out on rides together, and stayed up talking late into the night. He had no doubt that they were very much in love, and had even had a serious talk with Callie about her staying behind.
But, he realized with pride, there was too much Sullivan in the girl for her to turn her back on their land. And there was too much pride in Jimmy Hickok for him to settle into a comfortable life sponging off the Sullivan's fortune. It was a shame, he thought, for he had high regards for Jimmy. The man had admirable views on the subject of slavery and Daniel knew of his father's work with the abolitionists in Kansas. Even after hearing that Daniel was going to free the Sullivan slaves, Jimmy still refused to become a part of the plantation lifestyle.
Of course, he would have been willing to let Jimmy release some of his honor if it meant sparing his sister's heart, but he knew that Jimmy would stand by his honor.
When every small buckle on the harness had been checked, when Ghost had been securely tied behind the wagon, and when every thing had been arranged and rearranged by he and Rachel, Daniel suddenly turned and called out softly, "Callie, honey, we should get started."
The riders all came slowly down the stairs to say their goodbyes. Callie embraced all of them. Lou was the hardest goodbye with the exception of Jimmy and the two young women clung to each other for some time.
"You will visit us when you can?" Lou demanded of Callie.
"Sure. Whenever the saloon gets low on girls, just send me a letter," Callie smiled in an attempt to be brave, but her voice wavered and new tears rose in her eyes. The likelihood of their meeting again was very, very small, she knew.
Kid stepped forward to put a comforting arm around Lou as Callie turned slowly to Jimmy.
Callie stepped into his arms, weeping. The others stood back respectfully and let them have their time together.
"It isn't goodbye forever," Callie lied.
"Of course not," Jimmy agreed to make it easier on her, pressing his face to her hair.
They didn't need any more words. Over the past week all that could be said had been said, and what hadn't been said outright was understood perfectly.
"I have to go," Callie said quietly, and pulled away, wondering how in God's name she found the strength to walk away from this man.
Jimmy watched her start to go, a million words and pleas for her to stop bubbling to his throat, but dying in his stubbornly clenched jaw. "Callie!" He finally called out, just before she reached Daniel.
She turned around, eyes glazed with new tears that she'd tried to hide from him as she walked away. "You really are the Queen of Hearts."
Callie broke and ran back to him, throwing her arms around his neck for a final time. Jimmy slowly walked with her to the wagon, a rushing sound roaring in his ears as he dizzily helped her into the wagon, and felt her lips on his a last time.
He was vaguely aware of cries of "ride safe" all around him as the wagon slowly rumbled off. Callie turned in the seat to meet his eyes, and Jimmy couldn't look away from them. He knew he'd never again see eyes that color, and his mind flashed back to the all those times he'd been captivated by those strange, beautiful eyes. Jimmy's eyes lost focus on Callie as tears blinded him, and by the time he somewhat blinked them away, the wagon had disappeared from sight.
"Ride safe, Callie," He murmured softly, feeling more alone than he ever had before.
Suddenly he felt a soft, small hand steal into his and glanced over in surprise to see Lou standing beside him. Her eyes overflowed with tears, and Jimmy realized they were not tears for her own grief, but instead tears for him. She snuggled close to his side and wrapped her arms around his waist, standing with him as they quietly stared after the wagon until the dust had long been settled on the trail south, long after the others had retired into the warm bunkhouse.
"She asked me to give you something after she was gone," Lou suddenly said, looking after the woman that had come in and out of their lives.
Jimmy looked at Lou with his eyebrows drawn together in confusion as Lou gently lifted something out of her vest pocket and placed it in Jimmy's hand.
The slightest of smiles tugged at his lips as he gazed down at the queen of hearts from the deck the senator had forced her to draw from. His thumb gently caressed the face of the card before he tucked it into the pocket that rested over his heart.
"Let's go inside, Jimmy," Lou finally suggested.
Jimmy looked over and attempted to smile bravely at Lou, whose lips were turning blue, "I'll be along in a minute."
Lou searched his eyes, asking with her gaze if he would be okay, and when she was reasonably sure he would be, she went inside to the waiting arms of Kid as both of them silently looked out the window at their friend.
Jimmy continued to stare after Callie for a few minutes. Slowly he reached into the pocket where he'd tucked the card and studied it. He brought the card to his lips and kissed it. Then, turning back for the bunkhouse, he smiled when he saw Kid and Lou, who were obviously checking up on him, quickly jump away from the window. He tucked the card back into his shirt.
He never went out again without it nestled close to his heart to remind him of the extraordinary woman it came from, and how close he'd come to finding and keeping love.
*
To Be Continued...Epilogue
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