Wild Rose

Though it was late, Rachel, Emma, and Lou were still sitting up and talking softly when the door to Lou's hotel room burst open.

All three women jumped and stood up when Kid walked through the door first, the limp body of a girl in his hands.

"What happened?" Rachel demanded, and at the same time Emma and Lou both wondered, "Who is that?"

Kid set his mouth in a grim line and ignored them, laying the girl on the bed. Lou cried out softly when she saw the girl's arm, splinted crudely, with the bone poking through her fair skin jaggedly.

For a moment, they all stood back and stared at her. She was actually tall for her age, and very slim. Her hair was a brilliant coppery red, and her nose spattered with a few freckles. Her facial features were just beginning to sharpen and emerge into womanhood, and she had a straight, aristocratic nose, and high, prominent cheekbones. Her mouth was full and finely shaped. Her brow was wide and clean, her large eyes spaced far apart and fringed by dark auburn lashes that appeared almost black. Her chin had a stubborn, almost square shape to it. The fight with the three men in the alleyway had left her with a bruise on her left cheek and a long, shallow cut across that cheek.

"It's the girl from the cemetery," Lou murmured suddenly.

"Where is a doctor, she needs this arm set!" Emma said sharply, focusing on the most important matter at hand.

Buck shook his head, "The doctor in this town is also the barber, and he wouldn't come out here this late. I thought that maybe Lou could do it."

Lou widened her eyes at her friend as if he'd lost his mind.

"Well," Buck shrugged, "You did work in the hospital during the first part of the war."

Lou nodded slowly. True enough. However, her experience involved stitching wounds, administering medicine, and writing letters home.But, she'd seen it done a thousand times, and knew what to do, if not how to do it. There was no one else to do it, after all.

With a deep sigh, Lou began untying the splint, careful to avoid jarring the arm. She spoke as she worked, "All right, but I'm going to need your help. You're going to have to hold her down." She paused, the board they'd used to splint the arm in her hands, "How did her arm get broken?"

"Someone hit her," James supplied, with a quiver of anger in his voice at the memory.

"With that board," Cody answered, waving his hand at the object in Lou's hand.

The board clattered to the floor loudly as Lou released it, looking at it in horror.

"Good God," Lou breathed slowly, not appreciating the irony of using the object that had injured her to heal her. "Poor child!"

She was all business as she bent over the girl, motioning Kid and Cody to hold her, knowing the pain would probably jar her into consciousness if only for a minute.

She was right. Lou's hands were as gentle as possible as she maneuvered the broken arm, setting it at the angle she thought would most likely be the correct one. She breathed in deeply, knowing that there was nothing gentle about her next move. "All right, I'm going to pull it now. It'll be quick, but it will be painful."

A scream tore from the girl's lips as Lou quickly yanked the arm straight out, breathing a sigh of relief when the bone disappeared neatly inside the skin, leaving only a bleeding puncture would behind.

"It's all right, sweetheart," Cody gently told the girl, looking into her wide eyes, which were the most startling color he'd ever seen, "The worst is over."

She said nothing, but bit her lower lip fiercely to avoid crying out with pain. Her eyes shone with tears, but she blinked very rapidly, refusing to shed them.

Kid was taken aback by her eyes as well. They were a deep, dark gray, rimmed with black, with tiny specks of lighter gray in the center, surrounding her pupils.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" He asked her gently, brushing a strand of hair gently away from the cut on her cheek. She flinched beneath his touch, but did not attempt to avoid it.

For awhile, she didn't speak, and he imagined it was because she was still fighting tears of pain. Then, she parted her lips and managed to whisper, "Autumn Rose."

Kid smiled, "Well that's one of the prettiest names I've ever heard of, Autumn Rose. What is your last name?"

Her beautiful eyes suddenly slid away from his and her lips clamped firmly shut.

"All right, don't tell me," Kid said, smiling slightly, "But, listen to me, Autumn Rose, whoever you are, you're safe with us. Those men won't bother you again!"

Despite all her effort, a tear escaped from her eye and she turned her head into the pillow to hide it as much as she possibly could. The two men above her lifted their restraining hands and in her field of vision was suddenly the woman she'd been watching earlier that day in the cemetery.

Lou smiled slightly as she saw the recognition on the girl's face, and left her side to lean over her with a comforting smile.

Rose watched her carefully, no trust in her eyes, only acknowledgement that she had no choice but to let this woman care for her. She fixed her silver gaze on the deep brown eyes looking down at her, and felt as if she'd known her forever.

An unexpected wave of emotion and realization washed over Lou, and she had to place a hand against the headboard of the bed to steady herself when she fully looked into the girl's face. It was suddenly clear why the gaze had been so comforting, the carriage so familiar. Now the eyes seemed to know her as she looked into them with tears slowly filling her own eyes.

Jamie suddenly stepped forward, and addressed the girl shyly, "I think you were looking for this."

Her eyes traveled from his kind blue eyes to his outstretched hand, and she could no longer hide the tears of relief. She made a small gasping noise, and reached out for his hand with her good arm. He smiled and gently released the silver star into her keeping.

Exhausted, and hoping she was in good hands but too tired to care if she was not, she closed her eyes, the badge clutched within her fingers.

"Why in the world would she have Jimmy's badge?" Kid finally wondered.

Lou smiled, and wiped the tears from under her eyes, "Isn't it obvious? A blind man could see it."

"What?" Cody and Kid asked together.

"Her. She's Jimmy's daughter."

"Ow," she groaned softly as her eyes fluttered open. Her arm, while painless upon the initial injury, now ached meanly.

"I know it isn't pleasant," came the soft voice from the other side of the room, "I fell off a horse about two years ago and broke my arm too."

Rose emitted a startled gasp and pulled herself up. The room was lit only by a single lantern, but it was plenty bright enough for her to see the youngest of her rescuers.

"Who are you?" she wondered.

"James McCloud. But everyone calls me Jamie…unless I'm in trouble with Dad…then he calls me a lot worse."

She laughed, despite her intention to be cold to him, "And which one is your father?"

"The one that carried you in here. Does it hurt much?" Jamie wondered.

Rose found herself staring intently into his kind blue eyes. He winced slightly as he nodded toward her arm. "Nothing I can't handle," she told him tartly, although in reality it hurt like the devil. She looked around restlessly, "Where's the badge?"

"Right there on the night table. Mama was afraid you'd cut yourself on it."

"How does your mama know Bill?"

"Bill?"

"Wild Bill Hickok," Rose elaborated, rolling her eyes, and irritated at his stupidity, or so it seemed to Jamie. He tolerated it quite nicely.

"Oh. They are old friends. All of them rode in the express together. I'm named after him," Jamie puffed up noticeably with pride, then squinted in her direction. "How do you know Wild Bill?" He knew his mother's guess, but he wanted to know the truth from her.

"If you believe half of what the men in town say, I bed with him."

Jamie felt his ears grow hot in embarrassment at her boldness. He shook his head slowly, "No. Uncle Jimmy would never do something like that…not with a girl."

Rose snorted with laughter, then winced as she jarred her arm, "Oh, he would too. But you're right. Not with a young girl. And not with me."

Lou poked her head in the door, and smiled when she saw her patient was awake. She glanced at Jamie with purpose. "It's late, Jamie. Your father is going to stay in your room with you. I'll stay with Autumn Rose."

"It's just Rose," Rose mumbled quietly, not sure she liked the idea of being alone with this woman with eyes that knew.

With characteristic directness, Lou sat down on the edge of Rose's bed and leaned over to check the dressings of her punctured arm and then fixed a heavy gaze on Rose.

"Did Jimmy know?" she wondered softly.

"Know what?" Rose asked, feeling her good hand clutch down on the sheet. What did she know?

"About you. Did he know you?" She said, her voice sounding strained.

"Yeah. He knew me. He saved my life once…pulled a drunk man with a knife right off me before he slit my throat."

"That's not what I meant. Did he know you were his daughter?"

A million expressions crossed her face, as she tried desperately to hide the truth from this woman.

"What are you talking about? Are you crazy?"

"I'd have to be not to see how much of him is in you." Lou responded calmly.

Tears welled rapidly in her eyes, but immobilized, Rose couldn't run from this woman's prying eyes. The remark had meant more to her than any words ever spoken to her, save those from her father himself.

There seemed no point in lying. .

With a shaky sigh, Rose shook her head, "No. He didn't know. I came to find him, but I never could tell him the truth."

Lou reached out to touch the girl's good hand, "It's a shame. He would have been so proud to know…it would have brought him joy."

She got up and hastily walked to the window, looking out of it intently, with her arms folded tightly across her chest.

"He talked about you a lot." Rose shut her mouth tightly after the words escaped. She had not planned on speaking to this woman any more than absolutely necessary.

"Do you know who I am?" Lou asked in shock, turning back around without bothering to swipe at her tears.

"Louise," Rose said simply, but didn't need the nod of agreement from her to know it was true, "I knew it was you when I saw all of you at the cemetery. I go there from time to time, to think, and to visit…"

Lou's eyes grew moist again, "I'm sure he is grateful for it." She paused awkwardly then asked, "What did he tell you about me?"

Rose smiled slightly, remembering the long, warm summer days she'd spent in his office, perched on his desk while he leaned back in his chair and spun tales for her.

"Told me how you rode for the express, how you dressed up like a boy and fooled all of them," Rose's eyes drifted doubtfully to her now, femininity personified in a simple white night dress, "Said he never respected another woman more than you. Never found a braver one." Rose's voice trailed off and tears misted her eyes, "He told me once…that I reminded him of you…the night when he saved my life."

Lou came back to the bedside and sat again, brushing the girl's hair away from her forehead.

"Then God help you, and me, for that matter," Lou smiled slightly.

Rose raised her eyebrow in question. Ignoring it, Lou asked, "Do you have any other family here? Where do you live?"

Rose shook her head, "I don't need any other family. My mother died last year, and the only way I knew who my father was, was that she cursed his name on her death bed. She was a…a lady of the profession," Rose's cheeks burned painfully at the revelation to the fine lady sitting in front of her, "she was mad because Bill…I mean James, wouldn't settle down with her, so she ran away from him and never told him about me. So, I came here…to tell Bi-James-I just never could get up the nerve."

Lou sighed, "And how do you eat? Where do you live?"

"Well, at first I got a job in the saloon," when she saw Lou's eyes cloud over with painful shock, she hastily added, "I mean, I didn't do that, I just waited tables, did laundry, stuff like that." Another shadow passed Lou's eyes, Rose was sure of it this time. Still, she continued, "A drunk man tried to attack me one night, thinking I was his daughter who'd run off with her beau, can't blame her with him having such a temper, and he tried to stab me. My father pulled him off, and took me back to his office. He put me to work there, sweeping the floor and keeping the place tidy. Let me sleep there too, when there wasn't any prisoners in there. If there was, he'd get me a hotel room and let me stay there, near him."

Lou smiled and closed her eyes, amazed once again at the generosity of the extraordinary man who'd been such a part of her life. No doubt, he'd remembered her own experience at the hands of Wicks at a similar age, and had wanted to save Rose from a similar fate, which was why he'd kept her out of the saloons.

"What have you done since…since he passed away?" Lou wondered, having to force the words from her throat.

"I tried to look for honest work…but there wasn't any. So, I went back to the saloons. They let me sleep in a back room if it ain't too crowded."

"Isn't too crowded," Lou corrected her by reflex, used to curbing Jamie's wayward grammar, which he picked up from the ranch hands, and Cody when he was around.

"Hmm," Rose mumbled in reply, her eyes searching the beautiful face in front of her, "Why are you keeping me here? Why haven't y'all sent the saloon to get me?"

"Because there is no way you are going back there, ever," the voice wasn't Lou's, and both of them turned in surprise. Lou smiled slightly at the intruder and waved her arm in his direction, "Rose, this is my husband, Kid."

Kid walked up to stand behind Lou, hand automatically seeking her shoulder and squeezing it affectionately.

Rose's cheeks went bright red, wondering how much of her story he knew. She'd heard about Kid from Jimmy too, and the fights they'd had over Lou.

"I have to go back," Rose said quietly, "It's not so bad."

"Oh Rose, but it can be," Lou said quietly, tears filling her eyes, "I would know."

"You were a…?" Rose couldn't bring herself to say any of the synonyms for the profession she was referring to in connection with Louise.

"No, but once, like you, I worked there," Lou said softly, and Rose could finally understand the sadness in her eyes.

"No place for a young lady," Kid agreed.

"Well, I'm sorry, but it isn't any of your business," Rose finally said, feeling defensive at their disapproval of her way of life. Easy for them to say, she thought bitterly, dressed in their fine clothes.

"Well, maybe not. But we'd like it to be," Lou told her softly, and when she started to protest, leaned forward and put a finger over the girl's lips.

"Kid and I, and Jamie, own a horse ranch in Nebraska territory. It's the old pony express station where we used to ride with Ji-your father. And I know that he'd want us to look after you, and we would love to have you if you'd come."

Rose felt tears of gratitude fill her eyes and spill over, but she wasn't ready to believe it true yet, "He didn't even know about me. Why should you care?"

Lou shrugged, "Because you are part of him, because I see him looking out through your eyes and it's more of a comfort than you will ever know. Because once he saved my family…We can't save him, but we can save you. And we can love you. Just like he would have, Rose. God, I wish he'd known you were his own! How he would have loved you!"

Rose was blinded by her tears, but still she protested feebly, "What if I wasn't really his daughter? What if it was all a mistake?"

Kid smiled gently and resisted the urge to stroke her hair. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her.

"You are his daughter. I should have known that when I saw you trying to take those men on, three to one. Just like him," Kid's mouth twitched at the memory, "But even if you weren't his, do you think we could leave you here to this life when we have plenty of room to share? Not to mention plenty of work to go around."

Rose grinned slightly at this, Kid felt a great wave of tenderness pull at his heart.

"Go to sleep now. We'll see you in the morning," Kid smiled back at her and backed out of the room.

Rose's large eyes studied Lou as she settled into a chair by the window with a blanket, "You aren't going to sleep there are you? It'll be uncomfortable."

Lou laughed, much to Rose's surprise, and she found it a musical sound, "I've spent half my life sleeping on rocky ground, and sometimes on the back of my horse! I assure you, this is quite pleasant!"

Rose nodded, and closed her eyes, but found herself glancing up from time to time to look with curiosity at this woman who had made such an impression on Bill that he'd never given up his way of life for another woman.

"Did Uncle Jimmy know she was his daughter?" Jamie's voice startled Kid, who had just eased into the small bed beside his son. He'd been convinced Jamie was asleep, and had taken great pains not to wake him.

"Don't you think you could have told me you were awake before I stumped my toe twice, and hit my shin on the chair?" Kid wondered, reaching out to ruffle his son's hair.

"Those were some interesting words you used, by the way, Dad. I'll have to remember them at church on Sunday," James said, then snorted with laughter when Kid poked him in his ticklish ribs.

"Go right ahead. It isn't my mouth your mother will wash out with soap!" Kid pointed out, then answered his son's earlier question, "And no, Uncle Jimmy didn't know she was his daughter."

"Oh." Another long silence, and Kid sighed, closing his eyes and thinking James had done the same.

Wrong again.

"What will happen to her?"

With a groan, Kid opened his eyes and smiled at the ceiling. At this particular moment in time James reminded him of when he'd been five, and asked nonstop questions from why the sky was blue to how were babies made. He chuckled at the memory.

"What's funny?" Jamie asked him.

"Nothing. I just expect any minute that you're gonna climb in my lap and ask me to read you a bedtime story," Kid laughed lightly, then before his son could ask what he meant by that, said, "Never mind. Rose will come home with us. It's the least your mother and I can do for her. Especially now. She's got no one."

James sighed, "Kind of like you and Mama when you were young."

"Yes," Kid said thoughtfully, "like me and your mama." In fact, the resemblance between the young Lou and Rose was startling.

Again, a short silence, but this time it was Kid that broke it.

"Do you mind, son? I know it's kind of a shock to put off on you. I'm sorry we didn't discuss it with you first."

Another silence made Kid wonder if Jamie did, in fact, resent the idea of having Rose in his home. Kid tried frantically to think of some way to explain why they had to do it.

It turned out, James was only choosing his words carefully, "No, I don't mind," he finally said. "I thought a lot about her tonight. I keep seeing her standing there on the hill looking down at all of us in the cemetery. And I think about how hard it was to say goodbye to Uncle Jimmy today, and I realized she had to say goodbye too, only she didn't have anyone else to be there with her. She ain't got…I mean, doesn't have any one. And tonight, if we hadn't been there, those men would have hurt her bad…probably killed her before it was over with."

Kid cleared his throat, "About that…"

Jamie drew a deep sigh in and said with resignation, "Here we go."

"You're right. Here we go," Kid said, sounding as fatherly as possible, "Next time, don't go charging in there like you are the cavalry. Those men could have had guns, and taken you down first thing. Always use this," Kid tapped James' forehead with his finger, "before you do anything."

"But Dad! I had to do something! You ran in too! And you would have even if I wasn't there!"

"I also had a gun," Kid pointed out, "Just think next time, alright?"

James sighed and sounded duly scolded, "Yes sir."

Kid grinned suddenly and then said, "With that out of the way, I'm proud of you, son."

The room was still, and then he spoke, and Kid could hear the smile of pleasure in his voice, "Really?"

Kid nodded, then realized his son couldn't see him, so he said, "Yeah. It was a brave thing to run in there, not knowing what you'd find, even if it was stupid. And you took that man down very nicely. It's a big man that will risk his neck for a stranger, and I'm more pleased than you know to see you're a big man, James Noah."

James puffed up with pride, hearing his father use his full name was rare, unless he happened to be in trouble.

"But don't go getting any ideas," Kid continued, cuffing his son gently on the ear, "I don't want you being a hero just yet. Next time you tackle a two hundred and fifty pound man, he might be quicker with his fists than this one was. And I sure don't want to answer to your Mama if that pretty nose of yours gets broken."

The yelp of laughter that Jamie let into the still night startled Kid, but he soon broke into laughter too.

In a minute, they both quieted down.

Kid closed his eyes, sure that this was the end of his son's questions.

"Dad?"

"What?" Kid hissed, desperately wanting to sleep.

"I'm proud of you too."

Tears touched Kid's eyes at this unexpected revelation.

James, encouraged by the silence and the darkness, continued, "I mean…what you're doing for her, I'm glad. I hope that I got that from you and Mama, the kindness I mean."

Kid reached out to stroke his son's hair, like he hadn't been allowed to do for sake of his boy's pride for years. James lay still and sighed in contentment.

"You did get that from us, Jamie. That and so much more. You're going to be greater than me or your mother one day, son. And we can't wait to see it."

Kid would have sworn that he saw a tear sparkle on Jamie's face from the light drifting in the window. It was close to dawn, he realized with a start.

"Get some sleep, Jamie. I love you son."

"I love you too, Dad," came his son's quiet voice, just starting to deepen.

Kid wondered briefly what it was about death that caused them to admit things they wouldn't have the day before, to allow such closeness and love to shine through. Wondered why it stopped the urge in Jamie to be his own man, and instead urged him to lay close to his father's side as he had when he was young, seeking protection from the monsters under his bed or the thunder that rattled the house.

He sighed. It was of course, the desire not only to slow time, but to reverse it. To stop the process that carried them on to uncertain futures, and instead to go back into the warm certainty of the past, to spend just a minute more in a safe embrace, to look into a loved one's eyes again, to make it known to that one how much you'd loved them.

He found tears running down his cheeks as he thought of Jimmy and the daughter he'd never known, the conversations like this one that he'd never had. It was the deepest form of tragedy, he decided, as he leaned forward to kiss his son's forehead, not to know one's child.

The day was overcast when Lou left Kid with a final squeeze of his hand, standing on the rise where she'd first seen Rose yesterday. His eyes had been dark and still with concern for her, but he'd not protested when she stopped him, kissed his cheek, and continued alone.

All other thoughts but the task ahead of her left her mind as she came to a stop at the tombstone with his name on it.

Without paying any attention to her light brown skirts, Lou crashed on her knees in front of his stone. When she heard Kid's cry from the hill, she quickly held her hand up to signify she was all right.

"You know Kid," she began in a shaky voice, "He never did think I could take care of myself." The words came faster with the initial step taken.

"Oh Jimmy…I don't even know how to do this properly, but I don't think you'd mind. I haven't been the same since I found out what happened to you. Every day I wake up and I hope and pray that it's all been a bad dream. But seeing this, your resting place, I think I finally have to admit it's true."

She paused and closed her eyes, freeing the tears that had welled in them and bowing her head. "And I'm so angry Jimmy! Angry at the man who shot you, angry at you for riding away from Sweetwater, angry at myself for not dragging you off that damn horse and making you stay! I think I knew it would be the last time…when you rode away this spring. I watched you till even your dust was gone, with this empty feeling inside of me. I didn't know what it was then, but now I do. I could still feel your kiss on my cheek hours after you'd gone, and I kept asking myself why…now I know. I wonder if you knew. Were you just so weary with life that you welcomed the end when it was near?"

"And the reason I'm so angry is because I don't know if you ever knew how much you meant to me, to all of us! I can still remember the first day I met you, and how I thought you were an arrogant, hot headed idiot, and I suppose you were. But I remember every day in between too! And you were so much more than what everyone always made you out to be!" Lou's voice rose with her anger and grief, "I knew you, Jimmy Hickok, and so did the others, and we knew your heart! And that's something the world never knew, and I feel sorry for them! You are…were…a great man, my dear Jimmy."

"And I'm here now to thank you for some things I can never thank you for…for something that you did years ago to ensure my life and my happiness at the risk of your own. To ensure my happiness you hid your feelings for me when I wasn't strong, when I was apart from Kid. Oh, Jimmy, I would have loved you and loved you well if you would have let me…but you didn't. Because of that damned mental block you had that no one that loved you could survive. But look Jimmy, I'm here, and I survived! Kid and the others loved you too! But I know Jimmy, I always knew, that you loved me. And I loved you back. But you knew before I did that me and Kid were meant to be, and you gave me my life…And you didn't just give me my life…you fought for it for me. I'll never forget the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I found out how you'd gotten Kid out of the prison at Point Lookout…you gave up your freedom and your country for me and him, and Jamie…because you loved us all so much…and there's no greater love, and there's never been anything I could do to repay you, except give you shelter, rest, and all the love in my heart…until now."

"I met her last night Jimmy…Rose. She's extraordinary, you know. I'm sure you saw that, but what you didn't see-although I don't know how in God's name you didn't-was that she's your daughter Jimmy. I don't know who her mother is yet, but I'm sure you will, she ran away before you found out about Rose. Rose came to tell you, but she never could find the nerve. I know you would have loved her if you'd known, I'm sure you loved her anyway not knowing…but still, it would have been different. And Jimmy, I see you in her, looking out from behind her eyes, and I know that you still live."

Lou drew a deep breath, "So, I came here not only to say goodbye to you Jimmy Hickok, and to thank you for my life, but to make a promise to you that I will never break so long as I live…I promise to take Rose and raise her as my own, to give her all the love and shelter and peace I would have given you if only you would have let me. She'll know of you, who you really were, she'll have your name, and I will love her well!"

Lou slowly extended the flower in her hands and lay it at the base of the headstone, "I know you don't like flowers, but Rose asked me to give you this one…she's worried you'll miss her, because she won't be able to visit anymore, but she thought this rose might remind you of her. She loves you fiercely Jimmy, thinks you hung the moon, and I don't plan on ever dispelling that notion, because I think she may just be right. I told her, that spirits weren't confined to graves like bodies, and that you'd look in on her, and I hope you can."

Lou leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the tombstone, closing her eyes and imagining instead his warm, shadowed jaw under her lips. She would have sworn the stone warmed and that she smelt the familiar smell of him, tobacco, leather, and whisky, for just a moment.

Finally she stood up on knees that trembled badly, "I have to go now. I do love you Jimmy Hickok, and always will. And I swear to love her, as you would have, if only you would have known. You live in her, and in me, and in Kid, in all of us that you touched over the years. We won't let you fade, Jimmy. Rest easy, my dearest friend, and ride safe, wherever you are."

Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author

The Way Station