Wild Rose

Dragging half of the bed clothes with him, Jamie bolted for the door out of his room, sure the Indians had come back and were in the process of scalping Rose. His skin was covered in chills from the piercing scream from below as he ran down the hall. He finally kicked the last sheet free at the top of the stairs and raced down them, two at a time. It occurred to him too late he had no weapon.

"Leave her alone!" He warned, trying to deepen his voice substantially.

He reached the landing and came to a sudden halt, chest heaving with fear and brows wrinkled in utter confusion.

Lou was leaning over Rose, looking into her eyes and talking to her like he'd heard her talk to Kid when he used to wake screaming from war nightmares.

His gaze slid to Kid, who walked over to him and patted his shoulder, absentmindedly. Jamie noticed, even in the dim room, that he looked ghostly pale and stricken.

"What happened?" he finally asked.

"Well, we just got in, and I saw that Rose had kicked off a blanket, so I went to pull it up around her again. She came awake screaming and kicking like I was killing her." His voice sounded desperately sad.

"She's had a long day, Dad, I'm sure she didn't mean it…You heard about the Indians?" An affirmative nod assured him he had, "well, I'm sure she thought you were one of them, about to scalp her."

"She opened her eyes, looked right at me, and kept screaming. Even when she knew who I was, she thought I was going to hurt her. She begged me not to. As if I could do such a thing!"

Jamie grew silent, not knowing what to say.

"I-I was having a dream, about the man with the knife…" Rose was explaining to Lou slowly, her voice still trembling, "And it was so real, like he was really there. I used to dream about it all the time, but haven't in a long time, till now. And then, I woke up, and I thought that Kid was going to-hurt me."

Lou felt tears well in her eyes as she kneeled in front of the girl and placed a hand on each of her cheeks, "Rose, honey, let me be the first to tell you, Kid's the last person in the world who would hurt you. He loves you like his own, and even if he didn't, he's not the kind of man to do something like that! Surely you know that?"

Kid left his son's side and came around to stand behind his wife, flinching noticeably when he saw Rose draw away from him. "Rose, I don't know where you come from or what happened when you were there, but I promise, those days are over…I'll never lay a hand on you. I swear it."

Rose nodded, a tear dropping off her nose, and Jamie sighed and felt real sorrow. She'd been through Hell today already, but it seemed that it had only triggered stronger emotions within her.

"Why don't you tell us about it? About the man with the knife. That helps sometimes," Lou suggested as Kid crouched next to her.

Rose studied him for a minute warily, then cautiously slid her hand into his. He seemed to find infinite relief in the offering of her trust and nodded, "I think Lou's right."

"Well…there's not much more to it than you know. He was horribly drunk and burst into my little back room. I guess I looked like his daughter, although I must have been younger, because he started screaming and calling me Sarah, and got his hands around my throat. He started choking the life out of me, but I hit him with a lamp. I thought he was going to leave me alone, but instead he drew a knife. I screamed like the devil, but no one came in…such sounds aren't uncommon in a place like that. Then he held me down and started crying and saying he had to do it, that he had to kill me. I was fighting the whole time, but not strong enough…" Her voice trembled, and a tear caught the fire light, "He, cut off, part of my ear first," she finally said, "I still don't know why. Then he said he was going to cut my face up so I wouldn't run off like that again…"

Kid and Lou looked at each other in surprise, and Jamie straightened against the railing of the stairs in horror. Slowly, with trembling hands, Rose pulled her heavy hair back and revealed the signature of the man who'd been intent on murdering her. The lobe was completely gone. Her hair had successfully hidden it from them for months.

"He cut me again, down my neck," She turned so that they could see the light, white scar running down the side of her neck, "He was trying for my face, but I was quick with turning my head. I screamed the whole time for help. He was just about to cut my throat when Bill came in. He knocked him out, or killed him-I don't know which and I don't care-and then picked me up and carried me out of there. I just remember being covered in blood from my ear…it was everywhere, all over him and me. And while the doctor stitched up what was left of my ear and my throat, Bill sat right there and held my hand, and promised me to keep me safe, and telling me how brave I was. That's when he told me about you," her eyes shifted from their far away look, to Lou, "And he told me then that I was like you."

Lou smiled and nodded, climbing onto the couch beside her and wrapping her arms around the girl, kissing her cheek soundly. She trembled fiercely.

"Does it ever stop? The nightmares, I mean?" Rose asked finally.

Lou started and met Kid's eyes, which were instantly boring into hers. Both of them were still not strangers to waking up in cold sweats, Lou with memories of Wicks, Kid with memories of prison guards who held his head under water and shot randomly into the prison yard with shotguns.

"They fade a bit," Kid told her truthfully, "Over time."

Lou nodded, "He's right. It'll always be with you, of course, but with time, and love, you learn to move on."

Lou looked at Kid and they exchanged a tender, secret smile.

"Time and love, huh?" Rose said softly, as she let Lou tuck her back in, seeing no point in moving her to her room now, close to dawn, "Well, I guess I've got plenty of both those things here."

"You do, sweetheart. Go to sleep now." Lou's kiss was warm on her forehead as she left her there, motioning Kid and Jamie to follow her up the stairs.

And she did go to sleep, haunted by the man who'd sliced part of her ear off in a drunken rage. However, this time, when help came, it wasn't Bill that pulled the man off of her, but Jamie.

Jamie gained a loyal follower after the incident with Mesa, who healed slowly, but surely and was soon ready for Rose to climb onto him again.

Lou marveled at Jamie's patience. Although she loved Rose fiercely, and more so with every passing day, she imagined that being a hero could often be hard work. But, he was wonderful with her, and seemed to genuinely enjoy her bright company.

Jamie indulged Rose with the affection of a little sister. At thirteen, she was still very much a child, and though only two years older, Jamie at fifteen was rapidly becoming a man. Lou knew good and well that Rose fancied herself in love with Jamie, as any young girl would such an idol, but also knew that Jamie was blind to it, his head filled with visions of adventure, horses, and now school.

Just as well, she thought grimly.

Jamie was making preparations to leave in the summer to travel with Cody and then to attend a prestigious Boy's school in New York in the fall. He had a sharp, eager mind, and Wincrest had been quick to accept him, especially with Buffalo Bill's endorsement of him. He would live with Cody and his wife in New York, and was dancing with excitement to go.

Lou knew it was the opportunity of a lifetime, but her chest clenched with sorrow whenever she thought of him leaving. He loved the ranch with all his heart, and she had no doubt he'd come back to run it, but he also dreamed of doctoring the horses he raised, and so Kid and Lou had proudly agreed to let him try the school in New York.

When the day finally came to see him off, both Lou and Rose looked as if it was a funeral, rather than a train departure they were attending.

"I'll be back soon enough!" He laughed at them, kissing first Lou, then Rose.

Cody, who'd ridden out to meet them, hugged them both as well, "Don't worry, I'm not going to feed him to the wolves!"

"Might have to if he doesn't calm down on the train," Kid laughed, embracing his son tightly.

Jamie grinned, too elated at the prospect of seeing the world to feel terrified at leaving home for the first time. With the ever boisterous Cody there, it was even harder.

Then he looked again at Rose.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, although she tried hard to hold them back.

He leaned down to meet her eyes like he always did when she was upset and squeezed her chin gently between his thumb and forefinger.

"You're gonna wait for me aren't you?" He asked her teasingly, "Not gonna run off and get married before I can come back and propose to you are you?"

Lou bit her lip slightly, seeing the girl's eyes light with hope. Jamie was teasing, but she didn't realize that.

"No…I'll wait for you," Rose said softly.

"All right then, dry your tears. I don't want my future bride looking like a lobster."

Obediently, she wiped at her eyes, but her efforts were in vain as the train whistle blew, and new tears replaced them. Jamie bid his parents goodbye once again, and patted Rose's head before following Cody onto the train.

Lou glanced at Rose, who watched the train leave with such a mournful expression that she didn't know whether to laugh or cry with her.

"Come on, Rose," she finally said gently, "the sooner we get home, the sooner he'll be back."

The time dragged for Rose, but there were other things to occupy her mind as the months rolled by. She still wrote Jamie every week, and he faithfully wrote her back. The letters arrived every two weeks, and neither hell nor high water could keep her from the mail office on delivery day.

Christmas finally rolled around again, and Kid, Lou, and Rose all stood waiting on the platform when the train rolled up. Jamie tumbled out of the train with excitement, his arms wide. He hadn't seen them in three months, since a brief visit at the end of the summer.

Lou didn't think it possible, but he'd grown at least another three inches. His voice had deepened, and his features were sharpening, now giving a real hint of the handsome man he would be.

Lou raised her eyebrows. There was a dance in town the next night, and she had a feeling Jamie McCloud was about to be the envy of every mother and her daughter in Sweetwater.

"Aren't you pretty!" Buck exclaimed as Rose descended the staircase slowly.

She smiled shyly at him. She'd been walking through the pasture one day last week when he'd appeared from nowhere, scaring the daylights out of her. In all fairness, her shriek had scared him nearly as badly. Before she could fling the rock she dove for at his head, Buck had hastily reintroduced himself, not horribly surprised that she didn't recognize him after a year, especially with his buckskins and vest on in place of the white man's clothes she was accustomed to seeing him in.

After her attack last December, she'd been a bit timid around Indians in general, but she was slowly warming to Buck, who was staying for Christmas.

She glanced down at herself. Donned in a dark blue frock with lace at the high collar and sleeves, she felt more like a china doll than a girl…young woman… she corrected herself, of fourteen. Lou had flatly refused to let her wear any of her other choices at the seamstresses, saying that she couldn't wear such dresses until she was at least sixteen, or folks would talk. It had been a sheer battle of wills, one of their first, but Lou had turned out to be more stubborn, and had won out.

As a peace offering, Lou had pacified her by curling her hair into ringlets and dabbing a bit of rouge on her lips and cheeks. When Rose had looked at Lou's lower cut, hunter green velvet gown and beautifully upswept hair, Lou had caught her envious stare and laughed.

"Don't wish your childhood away just yet. One of these days, you'll be wanting it back."

Sound advice perhaps, Rose thought, but not very helpful to her now when Jamie was coming down the stairs looking dashing in a well-cut suit.

When he exclaimed at how pretty she looked, though, all notions of bitterness were lifted, and she returned to the gracious young girl Lou knew still lived inside her once again.

Lou saw she had been right about the girls in town within five minutes of their entrance into the town hall, merrily bedecked in holly and red bows. Female heads swiveled from every direction to stare intently at the tall figure of her son coming through the door. He had the air of mystery of a stranger, although he'd been to school with all of them since they were five years old, and it was suddenly clear to Lou that in the life of a sixteen year old girl, six months was long enough to be reborn completely.

Jamie rushed forward to greet some of his male buddies, and Lou didn't miss the sighs of disappointment from the clump of girls by the punch table.

Teaspoon made his way up to her and kissed her cheek, exclaiming at her beauty, and Rachel wasn't far behind.

She nudged Lou with her shoulder and grinned, winking, "Looks like your son is the center of attention for at least half of the crowd."

Kid laughed, hearing this, "Like father like son."

Lou cast him a grin and rolled her eyes, "No, Rachel was referring to the female half. It's the men who prefer your company so you can talk horses with them."

Kid raised an eyebrow, and looked down at Rose, who was shyly hiding behind him, "Come on, Rose. Let's prove to her that I've still got a way with the ladies."

He whirled her out on the dance floor.

The evening rolled on, full of laughter and warm wishes for happy holidays. Rose danced with Kid, Teaspoon, Buck, Seth, Carlos, and Patrick at least twice. Her eyes constantly sought Jamie, but his attention was focused primarily on a pretty blonde named Elizabeth Walters.

Rose watched sadly as dance after dance he whirled the beautiful girl, who was all laughter and smiles, around the floor. She would have to be beautiful, Lou thought, watching Rose watch Jamie from the refreshment table by Patrick. From over Kid's shoulder she studied Elizabeth. Beautiful and sweet, Lou knew, but not particularly brilliant either. Rose would be just as beautiful in a year or two, but Lou could understand as well as anyone Rose's frustration. She'd caught Rose the other day, turned sideways in the mirror and peering down at her still flat chest. Lou glanced down at her own chest, which even after child birth was only moderately full, and sighed. Maybe Rose would be lucky.

Jamie looked across the floor to see his mother staring intently at him. From around Elizabeth's blond curls he raised his eyebrow in question. In answer, Lou titled her head ever so slightly in the direction of the refreshment table.

Jamie wrinkled his brow in confusion, wondering if his mother was trying to tell him that it would be polite of him to get Elizabeth a cup of punch, which he'd done already.

Then he spotted Rose, sitting dejectedly, and staring at the toes of her simple slippers. He suddenly realized that all her earlier partners had found different…and older companions for the last half of the dance. The boys her age were far more interested in chasing each other outside, and she was the picture of depression.

The music slowed, and the head violinist announced that the last dance would be a waltz.

With an apologetic smile, Jamie explained to Elizabeth, "I would love to dance with you again, but I promised the last dance to someone else."

Her pretty face fell for a moment, and Jamie laughed and nodded in Rose's direction.

"How sweet!" Elizabeth exclaimed, the stars back in her eyes when she gazed at Jamie.

"Can I walk you home afterwards?" Jamie wondered, and was delighted when she nodded in assent. Flashing her a devilish grin, he bowed slightly and walked to the refreshment table.

Rose couldn't bear to watch any more. Her Jamie had been taken from her by dumb old Elizabeth, who she couldn't even begin to compete with, and Jamie hadn't even danced with her once. She basically considered her life over.

And then, a pair of big black boots appeared under her nose and she looked up to see him standing there with a grin.

"Didn't think I'd forget my best girl, did you?"

Rose, still feeling a bit shy around him after the long absence, shook her head wordlessly as the music started. He was forgiven of all sin instantly.

"May I have this dance?" He asked with a gallant bow.

"You may," Rose replied and curtsied, just like Lou had taught her, putting her hand into his with all the trust in her heart.

And for six or seven minutes, Rose thought she must know what heaven was like.

However, the cloud of happiness that surrounded her dispelled when Jamie patted her head after the song ended, "Go find Mom and Dad," he told her, "And do me a favor…tell them I'm walking Elizabeth Walters home, okay?"

He walked away without waiting for an answer, having no idea the hurt his words would bring her. Rose stood dumb struck in the middle of the floor.

Rachel happened by her on her way to collect her shawl. She placed a hand on the young girl's shoulder, asking if she was all right. Choking back bitter tears, she nodded, and hurried outside.

Jamie looped Elizabeth's arm through his as they burst out of the crowded hall, their breath exploding into silver clouds of vapor as they laughed together.

A movement out of the corner of his eye drew his attention, and he turned suddenly, looking toward the side of the building.

Rose was there, staring right back at him in surprise, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Hey, Rosie!" He cried, using the nickname he adopted for her the winter before, "What's wrong, sweetheart?" he took a step toward her.

Not sure whether to be broken hearted or furious at his ignorance, Rose glared at him for a moment, then when he started for her shrieked, "Leave me alone!" and bolted.

"What is wrong with her?" Jamie wondered.

Elizabeth's sweet laughter filled the air, "You are blind, Jamie McCloud! That girl has a huge crush on you!"

"No, she doesn't, she's just…" Jamie stopped suddenly, his mind whirling. Of course, she was right. Rose had a crush on him. It was obvious when laid before him so simply.

"I'll have to talk to her," he finally said, and attempted to smile at Elizabeth as they began the short walk to her home in town. However, his spirits were dampened incredibly when he thought of Rose's stricken face, and he realized he'd hurt her horribly without ever having such intentions.

Kid walked casually through the night to get the horses from the livery, knowing he could take his time when he saw Lou being dragged into the circle of women talking about plans for the New Years Ball. He shoved his hands in his pockets and whistled softly as he made his way through the big barn and out the back where the horse and buckboard were tied up. Dancing with Lou closely, and showing her off always put him in a good mood.

He was a bit surprised to see Rose sitting on the wagon, her face buried in her arms against the back of the seat.

"Hey, don't I know you?" Kid asked softly.

She jumped and his face grew solemn when he saw her tears. Lou had pointed out her stricken face after Jamie left her to walk with Elizabeth, but neither of them realized quite how upset she would be.

He climbed up beside her, but didn't pick up the reins. He sensed if he tried to hold her she'd jerk away, they were volatile tears she cried, after all, and so he lounged back against the seat.

"Pretty night, ain't it?"

Her eyes turned to his in irritation, as if she couldn't believe he'd make small talk at a time like this.

Ignoring her he sighed, "You know, going to dances like this always makes me think about courting Lou. See, she couldn't enjoy dances when we were first riding for the express, cause Teaspoon thought she was a boy and he was always there." He paused and a smile tugged on his lips at the memory of one particular dance where he'd drug her, men's clothing or no, outside and practically forced her to dance with him. They'd shared a kiss too, and Kid's mouth lifted as he wondered if anyone had seen them and thought the worst.

Rose's eyes were boring into his though, searching for a point to the story. He did have one, but was not to be rushed.

"Of course, it wasn't always like that. There were dances when I'd sit there and admire the pretty girls right under her nose, not even realizing that it hurt her. Dance with them too, and ask her to hold my hat at first. 'Course I didn't realize then she liked me much as I liked her, and by the time I did, I'd probably hurt her a few times. I wouldn't have for the world, mind you, but I did all the same."

Rose sniffed, "So?"

Kid smiled, and ventured a hand out to wipe at her cheeks and push her nose, "So, you see who I was dancing with tonight."

"She's your wife," Rose pointed out.

"Exactly!" Kid said and patted her knee as he reached to pick up the reins, "Sometimes it just takes us boys a little longer than you gals to come to our senses. But in the end, we usually make the right choice. When it counts."

Rose stared at him a minute, and he grinned at her and held out his arm. With a tiny smile she scooted close to him, burrowing her icy hands under his coat.

"Rosie, are you awake?" The hushed voice came only moments after Rose had put out her candle, but she didn't want him to know that.

She made no sound, and closed her eyes more tightly, as though she could rush herself to sleep that way.

"Oh, stop playing opossum, I know you're awake. The light was coming out your window two minutes ago."

Jamie crept into the room, and grinned slightly when she didn't answer. A small foot peeked out from under the covers and with a wicked grin he reached a hand down and tickled it.

She exploded into motion, turning over and drawing her knees up to her chin.

"That's better," Jamie whispered again.

"What are you whispering for? I'm awake, you know."

Jamie sighed and said in his normal voice, "Good point."

They sat in silence for a minute before Jamie sighed again and said, "Rose, we have to talk."

Rose sighed, and said bravely, "I already know what you want to talk about. You want to break our engagement so you can marry Elizabeth."

"Our engagement? What are you talking about, girl? And I'm not quite ready to marry Elizabeth, by the way."

"You asked me to wait on you the day you left for school, and I have! I could have kissed Bobby Lee Garrison behind the livery stable last week and I didn't because I am engaged to you!"

Jamie suspected that the burst of laughter that escaped his lips wasn't appropriate, and if he had any doubts, Rose's glare obliterated them.

"Oh, Rose, sweet heart, I was just kidding!"

"I thought you loved me!" She cried, tears coming into her eyes.

Jamie realized just how serious the matter was then. He tried to choose his words carefully, "I do love you Rose! I love you more than life, honey…but not like that! I love you like a friend, or a sister."

Judging from the tears that spilled out of her eyes, he guessed that was the wrong answer.

"Do you think I'm ugly?" she asked, her huge eyes pleading.

Jamie couldn't stop a snort of disbelief, "Are you daft?" He asked, using the phrase he'd picked up from Patrick, "Rose, honey, you're a beautiful girl! I thought so the first time I saw you! And there isn't a girl in this town who will compare to you in a few years…even Elizabeth!"

"So why can't you marry me?" Rose asked.

Jamie sighed, and grabbed one of her hands, trying to make her understand what he had a feeling she could not, "Because, I'm too old for you, honey."

"But Teaspoon and Rachel? And your dad is a year older than your mom, and you're only two years older than me!" She sobbed brokenly.

"It's different. You see, we're on different sides of a fence…it isn't a very big fence, but still, we can't quite cross over to the other side," he explained awkwardly. How did he explain that she was still a child, even though only two years younger, and that he was not?

Her blank stare plainly told him that she didn't understand.

"Well, can't you wait for me to grow up?" Rose wondered, "I'll wait."

"Well that wouldn't be fair to you," Jamie said, "To make you chose something before you've seen more than one of the choices, right? Rose, please try to understand…I love you dearly, and I'm flattered that you feel that way, but it just isn't meant to be."

"But I love you!" She wailed, and fastened her arms around his neck.

Jamie pried her off his neck so she could look into his eyes, "You just think you love me, don't you see? But you don't know what that kind of love is yet, Rose. You will someday, when a lucky man comes along, just not now."

He wasn't quite prepared for the vehemence of her response.

"I see, all right, Jamie McCloud! I see that you are a big, fat liar! You told me to wait on you, and I did, and now you just want to pretend like you didn't say it, but you did!" She was sobbing, and her voice had risen to a fine screech that he was sure Kid, Lou, and Buck could hear. In fact, he wouldn't doubt that Rachel and Teaspoon, in their home a mile away could hear, "I do love you, and you should have just said first thing that you didn't love me back! It isn't me who won't want you! It's the other way around!"

He tried to catch her as she floated by him in her flannel nightdress, his hands falling on her shoulder, but she bit his thumb with incredible force and kept going.

A minute later, Lou filled the doorway with a candle, finding her son sitting on the bed with his head bowed and his thumb in his mouth.

"Surely it isn't so bad that you've got to revert to sucking your thumb is it, Jamie?"

Jamie glanced up and saw genuine worry that he'd lost his mind on her face and wordlessly removed his throbbing thumb from his mouth and showed it to her, "Little devil bit me," he explained wryly, "hard."

"Looks like a bad one. Does it hurt badly?"

"Not compared to what it feels like inside Mama." James looked up with tears in his eyes, "I didn't know she thought I was serious! I wouldn't have hurt her for all the money in the world."

Lou came to sit by her son, knowing Kid had gone after Rose. She put her arm around his shoulders and laid her head against him.

"I know that. She'll be fine, Jamie. All little girls go through this. I saw it coming, but I didn't know how to stop it."

"That doesn't make it any easier to know that I did it," Jamie pointed out.

Lou nodded and squeezed his hand.

Jamie put his sore thumb back into his mouth, and closed his eyes hard, trying not feel the tears that stained his shirt. Tears shed over him by a girl that had already shed too many in her life.

He had practically heard her little heart break, and he wondered if it was something she'd ever forgive him for.

And even if she did, he wondered if he'd forgive himself.

To be continued...Chapter FIVE

Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author

The Way Station
Campfire Tales

Email: gliterin@bellsouth.net