The Way Station
Campfire Tales
By Anna Murphy
A few days after Noah's funeral, Lou and Kid did end up taking time off. It wasn't their choice though, Teaspoon practically had to force them to leave Rock Creek. He convinced them it was better to start their marriage with a temporary vacation from their sorrows. They were gone for only a week, but life at the way station had changed dramatically by the time they returned.
Lou opened the door to Rachel's house and was greeted with her smiling face. "So, how did everything go? Did you have a good time in Denver?" Rachel asked hugging Lou before she even had time to walk through the door.
"Yes. We had a good time, Rachel." Lou said once Rachel finally let go and let her into the house.
"Hi Rachel," Kid said following his wife into the house and heading upstairs to unpack.
They had agreed to stay with Rachel until they found a place of their own. No one had any argument over the arrangement. Lou and Kid wanted to be near what was left of their family and Rachel couldn't stand the idea of losing two more of her "children" so quickly.
"So, tell me how it was," Rachel said sitting Lou down on the sofa once the Kid was safely upstairs.
"It was fine. Not a whole lot happened. It wasn't exactly a great time to be celebrating anything." Lou said quietly.
"I'm sorry, Lou. I know. This wasn't the best week to feel like you just got married," Rachel said sympathetically.
"Yeah, tell me about it. Things seem awful quiet around here. Where is everyone?"
"Teaspoon's in his office, Cody's off with the army until the end of the week, and Buck's out on a run."
"What about Jimmy?" Lou asked noticing the obvious lack of his name.
"He's gone, honey." Rachel told her gently.
"What do you mean 'gone'?" Lou asked feeling sick to her stomach.
"He went for a ride a couple of days after you left and he hasn't been back since. We don't know where he is or when he's coming back."
"Oh," Lou said holding back the tears that she felt welling up, "He didn't explain anything or say good-bye to anyone?"
"No. He just said he was going on a ride and he'd be back later that day. He left a note for you, though. I should have figured something was wrong with him, he asked me to give it to you if something happened to him," Rachel said handing her a folded letter from her pocket.
"Thank you," Lou whispered quietly, taking the note, "I need to go for a walk."
Lou went upstairs to tell the Kid she would be out for a while. He offered to go with her, but she needed to be alone. She decided not to show the Kid the letter or even tell him about it until after she had read it. She didn't even open it until she was near the pond, far away from anyone or anything that might distract her from whatever was in the letter. She sat down at the base of an oak tree and opened the letter.
Dear Lou,
I wrote you this note because there are some things I can't tell you face to face. It's too hard and too painful. I'm giving this to Rachel for safe keeping and I'm hoping she won't read it. If she does she may not give it to you. This is what I wanted you to know: I love you. I've always loved you and chances are I will for the rest of my life. You see why I didn't want to say this before? I knew it would hurt you too much and that's not something I wanted to do. You'd probably tell me I was crazy and try to talk some sense into me. I'm really not trying to hurt you or the Kid. Like Teaspoon said, 'If two people were more suited for each other to get hitched, then I ain't met 'em yet.' I never wanted to come between you two, so I kept my mouth shut. I'm sorry I never really said good-bye to you the way I should have. I knew you would have tried to convince me to stay, but right now it's the best thing for me. Maybe I'll actually find a job I can live with and not have trouble follow me there. I'm sure going to miss you and I promise I'll write as soon as I get wherever it is I'm going. Try not to remember me too harshly. Who knows? Maybe one day maybe you'll even tell your kids about their Uncle Jimmy. I know you think you don't want children, but you'll be the best ma a kid ever had. I know you will. Take care of yourself and try not to kill the Kid.
Jimmy
Before she even finished reading the letter tears were rolling down Lou's cheeks. It was almost too much for her too handle at once. She felt a wave of nausea pass over her that had been present for nearly a week. Noah was dead, Jesse had run away to be with his brother, Cody was with the army all the time, and Jimmy had left them behind without a word. It was all so hard for Lou to deal with that she finally gave up trying to hold off her tears and broke down crying. After sobbing for almost an hour Lou finally got herself under control and headed home to go to bed even though it was the middle of the afternoon. She got home quickly; grateful to see the Kid was buying supplies in town and Rachel was busy in the bunkhouse. She went straight to bed and slept for a couple of hours, crying in her sleep.
When Kid came back he asked Rachel if she'd seen Lou. When the response came back negative, Kid nearly tore out of the house in a panic to look for her. The calming force that Rachel was, she suggested he actually look for Lou before thinking the worst had happened. Finally, he found her in the most obvious place, asleep on their bed.
"Lou, wake up. It's time for dinner," Kid whispered shaking her shoulder.
"I'm not hungry," Lou mumbled, barely opening her bloodshot eyes.
"What's wrong?" Kid asked noticing her tear stained face.
"Nothing. I just don't feel like eating," Lou said sitting up, hoping to avoid any of the questions she knew the Kid would have.
"You've been crying." Kid whispered brushing away a few stray tears that were still falling.
"I'm all right." Lou said making the same motion her husband had.
"It's Jimmy isn't it?" Kid asked suddenly frustrated that Jimmy could still affect their relationship like that.
"It's Jimmy, it's Noah, it's Jesse..." Lou sighed, her voice trailing off.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Boy, I guess getting married made us grow up a lot faster than we ever expected, huh?" he asked sitting next to her, pulling her close.
"Yeah," Lou agreed sadly, "I just wish things could have stayed the way they were a little while longer. When we still had a family and jobs and knew what was coming next." "We've still got a family." Kid said gently.
Lou looked at him with tears in her eyes and he knew it wasn't the truth. What little family they had left would soon go their separate ways. It was all changing so rapidly neither one felt they could keep up with it. After a few minutes of silence Lou needed to be alone and insisted the Kid go to dinner without her. At dinner no one had ever seen the Kid so quiet or eat so fast. He only said Lou was tired and not feeling well and quickly returned to their bedroom. He figured there was something else going on that he needed to talk to her about. Of course, by the time he was back in the room, Lou was asleep again. This time he let her be and covered her with a blanket. Feeling defeated he headed downstairs to see what Rachel thought was going on with his wife.
"Rachel, what happened when Jimmy left? Did he say anything? To anyone?"
"He didn't really say anything. Just that he was going for a ride. We all assumed he'd be back the same day. When he wasn't back at dinner Teaspoon got worried and looked through his bunk to see if his things were still there. Well, most of them were gone and we figured it out after that. None of us know where he went or if he's coming home," Rachel sighed. She knew she wasn't telling the Kid everything, but it was for his own sake. She couldn't stand to tell him that Jimmy had left Lou his note. It would have broken his heart. Even though Rachel had not looked at what he wrote, she knew well enough what it said. She knew it something that probably should have been said before any of the recent events, but never came out until it too late for an appropriate explanation.
"Thanks Rachel."
Kid asked Teaspoon next about what happened the morning Jimmy left. He gave the Kid the same version Rachel had. No reason had been given and they hadn't seen him in days. Kid didn't even understand why it was so important to him to know what happened. Probably because he and Jimmy had not been on good speaking terms before he and Lou left. He thought it would be easier to take some time to think before saying anything they might regret later. That left a whole lot unresolved between the two of them. Not to mention the fact that he couldn't stop thinking that, more than anything, was what was bothering Lou. There was no point in worrying about it then though. Jimmy was gone and they were going to have to go on with their lives without him Kid decided when he went to sleep that night.
Kid woke up the next morning feeling much better than the night before. It amazed him how things seemed so much better. He had a new outlook on things. He and Lou would start looking for a place of their own and not have to worry about the Pony Express ending. They'd find jobs and start their life together without any problems. Lou, on the other hand, felt no better even after sleeping for half a day. She was still emotionally drained and even more exhausted than she'd been the night before.
"Lou, come on. It's time to get up." Kid said while he got dressed that morning.
Instead of giving a response, Lou only buried her face back into her pillow and pulled the blanket back around her shoulders.
"Lou, wake up," Kid said a little louder.
"I'm too tired to get up." Lou said.
"All you need is something to eat. You missed dinner yesterday."
"Kid, I really don't want to eat anything."
"OK," Kid said sighing as he left their room. He went downstairs hoping Rachel would know what to do about Lou.
"Kid, don't worry. She's probably just under the weather. Look at the week the two of you have had. I'm surprised you're not tired too." Rachel said trying to calm his nerves. When that obviously hadn't worked, she told him, "I promise, I'll talk to her when she gets up."
Kid nodded and headed off to do his chores. A couple of hours later Lou was up, but still tired. Too drained to argue, Lou let Rachel sit her down in the front parlor and question her.
"Rachel, I'm just tired. I don't really feel like eating that's all." Lou protested weakly when Rachel asked about what happened the day before.
"I can understand being tired, it's a long trip to Denver. But I've never known you to sleep for so long without being sick. And you haven't eaten since at least yesterday. It isn't like you."
"I haven't felt well for a few days. That's all," Lou said rubbing her forehead where a sharp pain had suddenly appeared.
"What's wrong?"
"I've just felt nauseous for a while and yesterday everything came crashing down. I needed some sleep and didn't think I could hold down any food," Lou said simply, shrugging it all off.
Rachel sat back and thought about everything Lou had told her before saying anything. Finally she asked, "Louise, you're probably going to hate me for asking this, but when was the last time you and Kid, well, you know..."
"Rachel, we're married now." Lou said almost laughing at the question.
"Before the wedding?" Rachel asked, trying to push her point home.
Lou thought for a moment and realized what Rachel was getting at. Since they had gotten engaged, Lou and the Kid had been less and less cautious about spending time alone. Once it began to dawn on her, Lou answered the question.
"Rachel, you don't think I could be...Oh my God! How could we be so stupid? I'm surprised this hasn't happened before," Lou groaned, burying her face in her hands.
"Let's not jump to any conclusions. You probably only have the flu. We'll go to see the doctor tomorrow and get an answer. Until then, try not to worry too much. We don't know that you're even pregnant. You probably aren't. Anyway, you two have talked about children, haven't you?" Rachel asked trying to make the best of the potential situation.
"Of course we have, but we didn't expect any this soon! We wanted to wait until we got settled in our own place. We didn't want to have a family until the war was over or at least until we could get away from the fighting," Lou said near tears wondering what they would do if they did have a baby.
"You know you can stay here just as long as you need to. There's no reason for you to feel like you need to leave right away," Rachel said putting her arm around Lou's shoulders.
"I know that. But we both want to get out on our own. We can't stay here forever," Lou said feeling a little more in control of herself after actually saying out loud what she'd been worrying about for days.
A couple of nights after the talk Lou had with Rachel she still hadn't gone to the doctor's. Rachel had been so wrapped up in trying to get information about the fate of their way station that she had forgotten to pester Lou about it. The Kid, though, had noticed something was definitely different about Lou. He couldn't quite figure it out and since she was feeling so much better Lou hadn't said anything to him about the possibility of a baby. He did know there was something different about her though. It had bothered him all through his run that day and he was still thinking about it when he saw Lou sitting in the front room reading, waiting for him to return.
"I'm home," Kid whispered in her ear sitting on the couch next to her, when she didn't seem to hear him come inside.
"I can see that," Lou whispered back, smiling at him, "You want dinner?"
"Yeah. You think Rachel would mind?"
"I'll do it. She's been trying to teach me how to cook while you were gone. It may not be very good though."
"That's all right. I'd like to see what you can do," Kid said trying not to laugh at the thought of Lou, who couldn't make a sandwich without something going wrong, actually cooking dinner. Of course, dinner did actually end up being a sandwich after everything else burned. Once that was over with both decided to go to bed.
"Kid, do you mind if we just go straight to bed tonight? I'm really tired," Lou said kissing him goodnight.
"No, that's all right," Kid said as he started unbuttoning his own shirt. It was a strange experience for both of them since they'd helped each other out of their clothes every night in the month they'd been married. Kid was ready for bed before Lou and as he watched her pull on her nightgown he finally realized what was different about her. She'd gained weight for what seemed like the first time in her life. He saw that her face and stomach were fuller and apparently she saw it for the first time too.
"Is this what being married does to you? Makes you tired and fat?" Lou asked more or less to herself in the mirror.
Kid walked over to her and slipped his arms around her waist. "I don't know about tired, but you aren't fat. I think you look wonderful. It's healthy for you to weigh more than nothing for once." Kid said kissing her on the neck.
Lou just sighed and stared at their reflections in the mirror. "Let's go to bed," Kid said after a minute.
A week passed and life went on as usual. Kid and Buck took the few runs that still came through the Rock Creek station. Cody was gone most of the time with the army and Teaspoon stayed in office, hoping things would somehow all work out. Rachel, on the other hand, finally remembered her idea about going to the doctor's and practically had to drag Lou there. Neither one was really surprised when Lou walked out and told her she was already nearly three months along.
"Looks like Kid is going to get quite a surprise when he gets home tonight." Lou said as she came out of the doctor's office.
"Don't worry, Lou. He'll be happy about this." Rachel said hoping to sound reassuring.
"I know. I guess I never really thought about how to tell him though. Until now I didn't really want to admit that there was a chance I could be pregnant, but now there's really no choice. I guess I'll just tell him right away and we'll figure out what to do after that."
The next few hours were some of the longest Lou had been through. She kept pacing back and forth constantly looking out the window waiting to see the Kid riding towards home. When she finally did see him, Lou waited until he was in the barn taking care of Katy before going after him. She figured they needed some form of privacy when she dropped the news on him.
"Hey you!" Kid said when Lou opened the barn door.
"Hey," Lou said quietly, grateful for the hug Kid gave her as soon as she was in arm's reach.
"Something on your mind? You look worried," Kid said as he let go of her.
"More like nervous. I need to tell you something, but I want you to sit down first," Lou said motioning for him to sit on a bale of hay.
"What's wrong?" Kid asked instantly thinking something horrible had gone on while he was on his run.
"Nothing," Lou insisted, "It will just be easier for me to say this if you sit down. You're going to want to sit down after you hear it anyway."
"OK," Kid said slowly sitting down.
Lou took a deep breath, let it out, and spat out what she needed to tell him. "Here goes. I'm three months pregnant."
Kid sat there in a stunned silence, not sure he'd heard her right. He didn't know how to react. Finally he managed to get out a few words. "Are you sure?" "Yeah. Rachel took me to the doctor's today. The baby is due in November."
"Whoa. That's not what I was expecting to hear," Kid said letting out a deep breath, taking her hand and pulling her onto his lap. After it all sank in, Kid finally got out, "So, we're going to have a baby?"
"That's what it looks like," Lou said resting her head on his shoulder while he held her tightly.
"Does anyone else know?"
"Just Rachel. I haven't got any idea how to tell everyone else. I spent the whole day trying to decide how to tell you."
"Well, don't worry. It's good news, a little shocking, but good," Kid said confidently, kissing her gently on the lips.
"Hey! You two are married now! You don't need to hide out here," Buck called when he walked in on the scene. "It's time for dinner."
"Thanks Buck. Should we tell him now?" Lou asked.
"Might as well."
"Tell me what?" Buck asked feeling very curious.
They stood up and walked over to him. "It looks like you're going to be an uncle soon. I'm pregnant."
"Is this a joke?" Buck asked, not wanting to be made a fool of.
"Nope. It's due in November."
"Congratulations," Buck said, hugging Lou, "So, you're going to make me an uncle?"
"Yup."
"That's great. You know Cody's back for the night. He'll love this," Buck told them smiling at them.
"This is going to be a long night," Kid groaned.
Despite the worries, the evening went well. Teaspoon and Cody found out at dinner that Lou was pregnant and both were very happy about the news. Cody, of course, couldn't help but tease them about when the baby was due once he did the math. Even so, he still couldn't help feel pride at the thought of his friends having a baby.
To Be Continued...Chapter II
Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author
The Way Station
Campfire Tales