By Anna Murphy
Before Lou and Jimmy even got half way through their coffee Teaspoon arrived in the kitchen with Rose in tow. He wasn't able to contain his surprise at the sight of Lou and Jimmy sitting at the kitchen table. It seemed unnatural for a moment to see the two of them at a table drinking coffee looking as though no time had passed at all. It was such a sudden flash back that he nearly lost his grip on Rose.
"Teaspoon! Are you all right?" Lou asked rushing toward him to take the baby out of his arms.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just so strange to see you two sitting together like that again. It's certainly been a long time since I seen the two of you together."
"Since the wedding, I guess," Jimmy commented thinking the same thing Teaspoon had. The only difference was, he didn't find it ironic that they should be in a kitchen drinking coffee, talking about children. He knew how right it felt and he couldn't help feeling like he deserved to be part of it on a large level. He wanted to be the Kid at that moment. Know what it was like to watch their two girls grow up and spend every day and night in Lou's company. It was almost too much to handle at once. For the first time in a long while he was allowing all the jealousy and anger rise beyond a comfortable level. Yesterday he had managed to get through things fine. He felt in control of the situation to some degree and he had left when he wanted. Today was different, the entire family was around and Teaspoon was saying just what was on his mind.
"Lou, thanks for the coffee. I need to get going. I've got take care of some stuff in town this morning," Jimmy said rising quickly and making a break for the door.
"But Jimmy! You just got here and the Kid still hasn't seen you. I don't want you to keep avoiding him," Lou said pleading with him.
"It's not that Lou. I'll be back tonight I promise."
Lou tried to think of some kind of argument that would convince to stay around at least until the Kid was up, but nothing seemed to come out. It was so futile to try to make him believe something he didn't want to. Until Jimmy was ready to hear things out, his own beliefs were all that mattered. Lou couldn't blame him, "Don't believe it until you see it" had become quite a way of life for him. Looking over his shoulder constantly, being told by everyone around who or what he was made trusting someone a little too difficult for him. Lou didn't know how to prove to him things were fine between he and the Kid, but she could always hope he'd come around on his own.
"Why'd he leave so fast?" Teaspoon wondered out loud.
"I don't know. He was fine until a second ago," Lou sighed shifting Rose to her other side. "This isn't going to be a very easy visit I guess."
"Something's eating away at that boy," Teaspoon said as Kid walked in.
"What's eating at who?"
"Something is bothering Jimmy. He was here a minute ago, but just up and left all of a sudden."
Kid didn't respond to that, just kind of shrugged and let it pass. The gesture worried Lou. As happy as he'd sounded the night before about seeing Jimmy, it was starting to look as though things would go down hill before they even got off the ground.
"I'm sure he really did have stuff to do," Lou offered to no one in particular.
"Why would he have been here this early if he had things to do?" Kid snapped.
"I don't have an answer for everything he does. I'm sorry!" Lou snapped back.
"God. Jimmy's around for two days and he's already making life difficult," Kid muttered to himself.
The day had begun on a sour note, but the rest of it just kind of slide by. Abby and Teaspoon spent most of the day in the barn or corral tending to the horses and taking care of equipment. Lou split her time between watching and sitting inside with Rose constantly thinking about what had gone on that morning. Kid stayed around for a little while and then headed off to their neighbors ranch in order to find out about whether there really was a herd of wild horses about twenty miles into the prairie. If there was he'd be gone for a day or two in search of some thoroughbreds to sell the next time he was in Denver.
Jimmy on the other hand ended up in the saloon trying to drink some sense into his life. It didn't help and he was so falling down drunk that by the time night fell he didn't know up from down. Instead of taking the bartender's advice of leaving Jimmy decided to start a fight with him. Consequently he ended up spending the night in jail and woke up the next morning to be greeted with Teaspoon standing outside his cell waiting for him to move.
"You sure have done it this time son," Teaspoon sighed wearily.
"Huh?" Jimmy asked, the memory of the night before still pretty cloudy.
"Not only did you manage to bust up the bar you also managed to scare Lou half to death."
"What are you talking about Teaspoon?" Jimmy groaned holding his head.
"Well, seems like once you got thrown out you decided to make life miserable for everyone else in your life. You showed up at the ranch about nine and kept mumbling about some letter and how you really felt about Lou. I'll be getting back to that later. You're damn lucky those girls were already asleep when you showed up and didn't see you make a fool out of yourself. After you took a couple swings at Kid we ended up dragging you here and having Jason lock you in for the night. Now, before you go tellin' me that this wasn't your fault and start blamin' it all on the whiskey you drank I'll tell you that most of what I heard last night had to do with things that happened a long time ago. It just took the alcohol to bring it all out."
"Teaspoon... this ain't nothin' for you be worried about. It doesn't concern you," Jimmy said pushing himself off the cot in the cell.
"You made it something for me to worry about. As soon as you start bringing trouble around my granddaughters and my family I make it something to worry about," Teaspoon said angrily through his teeth.
"You're starting to sound like Rachel," Jimmy said laughing.
"You just pack up and make sure you're out of this town by sundown."
It shocked Jimmy to hear Teaspoon talk like that. It wasn't the first time they'd argued over his drinking, his behavior, his whole attitude, but it was the first time that Teaspoon had been so angry and serious about him leaving. While the words Teaspoon said didn't sober Jimmy up immediately, the couple hours of sleep he got did. It was filled with vague images of what may have happened the night before and Jimmy was not too proud of what he'd seen. He tried to write it off as part of his imagination, years of thinking the worst of every situation he was potentially involved in, but the few images that were clear came back like a bolt of lightning against a black sky. He had acted horribly and didn't want to let himself think of what he had done. As soon as he woke up again the Marshall let him out of his cell and gave him the same warning Teaspoon had, though not as effectively. What Teaspoon had said was enough to put the fear of God into him.
As Jimmy rode away that afternoon he considered whether or not he should try to go back to the ranch and attempt to explain his behavior. It was tempting to think that he could find forgiveness from Lou and possibly even Kid if he did it right. He was about half way there when he decided against making such a bold move. The way Teaspoon had looked he knew showing up he would be greeted with a shotgun and a cold stare. As the years passed Jimmy sometimes found warmth on a lonely night thinking about how his nieces had grown up and what they were doing. Sometimes he would dream of the scene he walked onto the first time he saw Abby and Rose. It was heartbreaking to think about sometimes, but other times Jimmy almost smiled at the thought that people he once loved and cared about were happy together despite the misery he had nearly brought to them.
THE END!
Copyright 1998-This work is not to be reproduced without the permission of the author