so...
the straw that broke my back stemmed from something completely
outside of me, though. one day in march, kristy and i
were hanging out, and we were talking about wes and how
he really didn't care about her truly because she was
almost in tears and he was out watching the game with
his friends. i think we were walking on the huge lawn behind
the administrative dome and to get her mind off of wes,
i told her about this dream that i had the night before.
she suddenly looked at me and said that she had been
having this really strange dream recently... a recurring
dream. this dream started out in front of a grave every
time... she would be crying and some man (she never saw
his face) would come up and put his arm around her and
comfort her. then they would get into his vehicle and
go to their home. in her dream, this man was her husband.
the house had a really distinctive door pattern too.
anyway, she dreamed about cooking for him, and being
so happy with him... playing little games with their dog,
teasing eachother, and such, and the dream usually ended
in the same manner: they would both go out into the
back yard and get into a swimming pool. at the end,
he would break up out of the water and throw his head
back, and then she would wake up right before he showed his
face. she said she dreamed it every night, so i told her
to say hello to him tonight, and she laughed so i thought
that was the end of it, that i had accomplished my purpose
of getting her mind off wes.
well, it turns out that that was just the beginning of it.
kristy was friends with this guy there named jim and a
cute girl named suzie. suzie and jim and kristy used to
go hang out all the time and watch movies together and
with other people and stuff. well, one wednesday day after
praise and worship, kristy came running up and said that
she saw the face of the guy in the dream and it was JIM!
i was really surprised, and she started talking to him
more because she was curious if the dream could mean
something. i thought that wes didn't deserve her anyway,
so i was all for kristy getting to know someone else, even
if it was just friends, i thought she ought to have a
guy in her life that she could confide in. so...
then of course karma had to get involved (kristy was
in my small group too). karma noticed that they had
started to hang out more and she thought that that was
bad especially for kristy because she was married. i
can see where she's coming from on that, but if wes
had loved kristy, then he would have been there for her
anyway. that's how i feel about it. if you think that
it's alright for a man to treat his wife like that, then
maybe you should learn something from what happened here.
anyway, karma forbid them to see eachother at about
the same time that she forbid me to see mike. kristy and
jim weren't even allowed to hold conversations when a ton
of people were around. during this time, kristy and wes
were getting counselling, but even when kristy cried in
the sessions, wes just sat there not caring. i knew that
jim and kristy wanted to still hang out, but how and where?
they found a secluded spot to go, and in the late evenings,
jim and kristy and i would meet behind this club that was closed
and hang out there. i remember once we hopped over the
little fence around their patio and all lay there looking
at the stars and talking about the unfairness. mike knew
kristy a little, and he felt the exact same way about
wes. i can't remember the exact reason, but i do remember
one day kristy said she couldn't stand it anymore, that
she had to do something. then one day she did it...
i remember that morning during quiet time i was sitting
upstairs in the dome (we also had class in there) waiting
for kristy to come because i knew she was leaving that day.
i remember thinking, "mike's leaving in a week. now
everything's taken from me." i remember her face streaked
with tears, and my own forming slowly. jim had given
her a little beanie baby turtle, and she left him a note
from "turtle" so that the leadership wouldn't take it out
of his mailbox. this is how sick it got- they went through
his and my mail to make sure that none was from her because
she had turned "traitor" and was walking in the world now.
that's just wrong (besides illegal).
so... kristy left, and mike left a week later. i occupied
myself by skating and breaking a wrist doing it. every
weekend i went down to alma to see her, and jim would come
along even though it was against their rules. i remember
going with her once at 2am or so to meet jim half way in the ozarks.
that place was so beautiful and so sad.
the last weekend we were together was in early april.
the three of us went to a big fair in downtown van buren
(alma's sister town) called old-timer's day.
