1994 New York Theater Workshop Rent Lyrics
1. VOICE MAIL #1
(phone rings)
ROGER & MARK
Speak!
DAVE
(into phone) Roger, it's Dave, (to customer) $4.50,
(into phone) this is the last time you've left me without a bartender
(to customer) two Buds (into phone) don't bother coming in next week
(to customer) rolling rock(into phone) you're 86ed!
(phone rings)
ROGER and MARK
Speak!
MARK'S MOM
That was a very loud beep.
I don't even know if this is working.
Mark? Are you there?
Are you screening your calls?
It's mom. We wanted to call and say we love you
and we'll miss you tomorrow.
Cindy and the kids are here, send their love.
I hope you like the hot plate just don't leave it on dear,
when you leave the house. Oh, and Mark,
Your father got a call from Chemical Bank,
I don't know how they got our number,
but we meant it when we said that you're cut off.
Love Mom.
(phone rings)
ROGER AND MARK
Speak!
BENNY
Dudes, it's Benny.
I know it's Christmas, but I need the cash. Something big,
I'm on my way. Don't block the box a-hole! Later...
2.RENT
MARK
If I threw my body out the window,
brain all splattered guts all steaming in the snow,
I wouldn't have to finish shooting films that no one wants to show!
Rent!
ROGER
If I studied something that paid a salary
wouldn't have to do the shit I do for cash
My guts all steaming, fuck this dreaming,
speed, metal rocks, songs for the trash
MARK
The wheels aren't turning.
ROGER
It's worthy of burning
MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
Last month's rent!
ROGER
If I took a hammer, tapped my forehead,
wouldn't have to wake and stagger through the week,
or hear a boring, grinning, whoring, brainless, dull producer speak
Rent!
MARK
If I slid the bars back, hurled my body through the cracked glass
on some crack-head's cardboard bed, Maureen could kick my frozen frame,
shout my name, and then drop dead!
ROGER
She's got a new man? What's his name?
MARK
Joanne
MARK and ROGER
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
Last month's rent!
3. YOU OK HONEY?
ANGEL
You OK, honey?
COLLINS
I'm afraid so.
ANGEL
They get any money?
COLLINS
No! Had none to get.
But they purloined my coat - well you missed a sleeve!
Thanks.
ANGEL
Hell, it's Christmas Eve.
MAUREEN
That's the stage, Joanne? Kiss!
Remind me when I stress forgive me.
JOANNE
That was last Tuesday night, Maureen.
ANGEL
I'm Angel.
COLLINS
Indeed, an angel of the first degree.
Friends call me Collins, Tom Collins. Nice tree.
4. RENT #2
ROGER
If they toss my carcass in the dumpster,
my fingers wouldn't bleed and blister and scar.
My head wouldn't pound from the sound
of garbage streaming out of my guitar.
MARK
If I killed myself or studied business,
no more parents spitting up on my career.
So are you showing?
Where's this going?
Home for Christmas?
MARK & ROGER
Not this year!
MARK
We're hungry and frozen
ROGER
Some life that we've chosen!
MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
Last month's rent! This month's rent!
Next month's rent!
Rent! Rent! Rent! Rent! Rent!
How we gonna pay rent? How we gonna pay rent?
5. YOU'RE A FOOL
ROGER
You're off?
MARK
You wanna wait here for Benny?
ROGER
Is there anything else to do?
MARK
Anything but Maureen's show
ROGER
You wanna go? Yes?
MARK
I guess
ROGER
For someone cool, you're a fool
MARK
I know.
ROGER
But her show's not `til one.
MARK
We'll do something else, it's Christmas.
ROGER
Oh fun! Some of us don't have time for that.
MARK
Aw!
ROGER
Some of us get writer's block.
MARK
What a crock
ROGER
Some of our parents don't pay our bills!
MARK
Mr. Negative, cuz he's HIV Positive!
ROGER
You can't know, give me some latitude.
MARK
Maybe you're blocked because of that attitude.
ROGER
I doubt you'd be so brave. Hell, you're scared to see your ex.
MARK
I'm a chicken shit. A hypocrite. I admit.
ROGER
I rest my case. For someone cool you're a fool.
MARK
Let's make a deal
ROGER
No deals
MARK
I'll see Maureen if you come out tonight
ROGER
I don't fit in anymore, all right! Anyway, I'm working.
ROGER
It's scratchy
MARK
It recalls something, but it's catchy
ROGER
The inspired zone of my brain has atrophied
but I need to leave a mark before I croak.
MARK
Not funny!
ROGER
No joke! I wish that I could turn the days I wasted
toying with dope fiends and groupies
into days spent obsessing over details,
the way that you do.
MARK
If you only knew,
I spend so much time obsessing, it's depressing.
For someone cool, you're the fool.
You want to rediscover the spark,
leave a mark, share something with someone.
Face your fears!
ROGER
What's that I hear? Maureen, did you say?
MARK
Touche
MARK & ROGER
For someone cool, you're a...
(knock on the door) Shit! (another knock)
Hi!(another knock)The lock!(another knock)
Damn!
6. TODAY 4 U
MARK & ROGER
Bustelo - Marlboro, banana by the bunch!
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good
COLLINS
And firewood!
MARK
Must be Santa Claus!
COLLINS
Hold your applause.
MARK & ROGER
Collins!
COLLINS
Playing Anne Frank with your landlord? Better have some Stoli
MARK & ROGER
Oh holy night! You struck gold at MIT?
COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality,
which I now impart to the couch potatoes at New York University.
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve, whose music
is the purest on the bow'ry, I believe. A true member of the
Alphabet City avant-garde!
Angel Dumott Schunard!
ANGEL
Today for you, tomorrow for me
Today for you, tomorrow for me!
COLLINS
And you should hear her beat!
ROGER
You earned this on the street?
ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A, when a lady
in a limousine drove my way. She said, Darling, be a dear,
I haven't slept in a year, I need your help to make my neighbor's
yappy dog disappear. This akita, Evita, just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup will breathe its very last
high-strung breath.
I'm certain that curr will bark itself to death
Today for you, tomorrow for me!
Today for you, tomorrow for me!
We agreed on a fee - a thousand dollar guarantee,
tax-free, and a bonus if I trim her tree.
Now who could foretell that it would go so well?
But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour, Evita, in all her glory, on the window ledge of that
23rd story, like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues
swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews
Today for you, tomorrow for me
Today for you, tomorrow for me!
I said: Today for you, tomorrow for me!
Today for you, tomorrow for me!
7. DO A LITTLE BUSINESS
BENNY
The checkbook, Allison, the checkbook, Allison, the checkbook,
not my datebook, for the money, Allison, honey, Allison,
the batteries are running out of gas!
Just find me, Allison, the checkbook, Allison,
otherwise Allison, it's my ass!
And so this is Christmas. Oh ho ho ho, dudes
Feed the world, let them know it's Christmas time. Hey you bum! Yeah,
you, move over. Get your ass off that range rover!
Boys I'm double parked.
MARK
Benny
BENNY
How's your project? - Good.
MARK
You yuppie scum.
BENNY
How's your project? Good, you've worked how long?
MARK
Six years.
BENNY
And for what?
MARK
That's not the point
BENNY
You kill me! Six years, Allison, since I blew this dump. What'd I make
a million? I just did a little business
MARK
Did a little business
BENNY
What's wrong with that?
BENNY
I bought the building.
MARK
Bought the building.
BENNY
I bought the lot next door. I bought another.
COLLINS
And another.
BENNY
And now I need to buy one more.
COLLINS
Just like Monopoly.
ANGEL
I love Monopoly, I'll be the dog.
COLLINS
I`ll be the hat.
MARK
What's next? Little green houses?
COLLINS
Plastic houses.
ROGER
A little red plastic hotel.
BENNY
A video franchise.
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Video franchise?
BENNY
The deal your rent will underwrite, one last building on the block,
then sell. Cough it up! Tonight's my night!
And tell Maureen . . .
MARK
We aren't speaking.
BENNY
Her protest better end by two, we're putting in fences.
COLLINS
On Christmas Day?
BENNY
That wasn't me.
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Then who?
BENNY
It's none of your business.
MARK
None of our business?
BENNY
Tonight your business is the rent
MARK & ROGER
Yeah
COLLINS
That your jeep?
BENNY
My Range Rover.
ROGER
Perfect car for urban play.
BENNY
We use it too, to get away.
MARK
East Hampton is just like the outback.
COLLINS
L-i-e, like a safari.
ROGER
We should buy one.
MARK
We should buy two.
BENNY
Now then.
ANGEL
Now then.
COLLINS
Buy ten.
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Bye-bye!
ROGER
Wait, what happened to the Jag?
BENNY
With the wife and the dog it was a drag.
ANGEL
Oh drag, what kind of hag, I mean dog, do you have?
BENNY
Evita's an Akita.
MARK,ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
BENNY
Gotta do a little business
MARK
Do a little business
BENNY
Can we?
MARK & ROGER
We can.
BENNY
November, December, January. Brings the sum to...
ANGEL
I can't believe that they are out on Christmas Eve!
BENNY
What?
ANGEL
A tow truck.
BENNY
The city needs the reven... A tow truck? You fuck!
A tow truck, Allison, a tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, Allison, A tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, tow truck
8.FEMALE TO FEMALE
MAUREEN
Female to female, female to female, female to female. Joanne, we said
female to female. When we left the house, what cable did we say to
pack?
No, that's a headphone jack.
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen.
MAUREEN
No, the plugs are red and black.
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen.
MAUREEN
Did you check the knapsack?
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen.
MAUREEN
Then you'll have to go back.
JOANNE
I guess, Maureen.
MAUREEN
We said RCA.
JOANNE
Uh-huh.
MAUREEN
We said RCA.
JOANNE
You're right.
MAUREEN
To connect the sampler to the digital delay.
JOANNE
Let's not get uptight.
MAUREEN
To run from the amp to the video display. Am I such a dumb cow?
JOANNE
No!
MAUREEN
Should I take poison now?
JOANNE
No!
MAUREEN
God, this is going worse than we expected.
JOANNE
I know, Maureen.
MAUREEN
How can I perform if we're unconnected?
JOANNE
I'll go, Maureen.
MAUREEN
It's times like these, I really appreciate Mark.
9. COME TO THE MEETING/ HE SAYS
MARK
Now's our chance
ANGEL
Mr. Finance lived here?!
COLLINS
Before the real estate career.
MARK
We can't stay
ROGER
Benny was a dilettante, Benny met a debutante. Go ahead,
I'll catch up.
MARK
No way!
COLLINS
Come to the meeting
ROGER
What meeting?
ANGEL
He lived here?
COLLINS
Support group - P.W.A.
MARK
Benny'll be back, come!
ROGER
I don't need 12 steps
MARK
I know. Benny, he'll make us pay
MARK & ROGER
For someone cool, he's a fool
.
ROGER
He kicks us out, we move, so what?
COLLINS
But, where? Do you know?
ROGER
I got a car, so as far as April's bucket'll go, Santa Fe, Austin...
MARK
We couldn't make Boston!
ANGEL
April?
MARK
Suicidal girl who od'ed.
He says he loved her, what he loves is to bleed.
Over two years since she left that car key,
but he never drives it.
ROGER
That's enough
ANGEL
Dinner's on me
MARK
First the meeting, then Maureen's show.
ROGER
See you at the restaurant.
MARK
But the meeting!
(Roger hits Mark)
Oh!
He says he'll meet us at the restaurant. He says he wants to stay and
play his guitar, he says. He wants to be obsessed with art like me,
he says, he wants to re-develop the creative side of his brain,
he says, he doesn't need support groups.
ROGER
I say he'll bring his camera.
MARK
He says he doesn't know why I go when I'm not sick or queer.
ROGER
But it's to make a career!
MARK
He says he doesn't think that love is possible anymore
.
ROGER
It's not!
ROGER & MARK
One day I'll/he'll fix that car she left me/him and fly.
MARK
I don't believe a word, I don't believe a word,
I don't believe a word he says
10. RIGHT BRAIN
ROGER
Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this night...
The right brain, how do I find the right brain?
I lost my map. The right brain, it's when I get locked in
Find, the right brain, like driving north, Pacific Coast Highway
from San Simian to Big Sur. Find the right brain, the sight of the sky,
the right brain, the sound of the ocean, the ocean.
Find the right brain, hugging the curves, the right brain
As the sun sets. The right brain, through the trees into the sea
Time flies! Time dies! Right brain, can't find the right brain!
I can't find the right brain, right brain,
Find the right brain, like driving her head
over the edge of the bed. Breathing the only sound.
Find the right brain, the touch of her skin, the right brain
the sound of the ocean, the ocean
Find the right brain, hugging the curves the right brain
as you enter the right brain
through her thighs into the sea
Time flies! I never needed to concentrate before. Time dies!
(a knock on the door)
The door
11. LIGHT MY CANDLE
ROGER
I'm not going!
MIMI
Got a light?
ROGER
I know you? You're...you're shivering
...
MIMI
It's nothing, they turned off my heat,
and I'm just a little weak on my feet
Would you light my candle?
What are you staring at?
ROGER
Nothing!
Your hair in the moonlight
... you look familiar
Can you make it?
MIMI
Just haven't eaten much today, at least the room stopped spinning,
anyway. What?
ROGER
Nothing, your smile reminded me of...
MIMI
I always remind people of . . . who is she?
ROGER
She died. Her name was April
MIMI
It's out again, sorry about your friend
Would you light my candle?
ROGER
Well...
MIMI
Yeah. Ow!
ROGER
Oh, the wax it's...
MIMI
Dripping! I like it between my...
ROGER
Fingers! I figured. Oh, well. Goodnight.
(another knock)
It blew out again?
MIMI
No! I think that I dropped my stash!
ROGER
I know I've seen you out and about, when I used to go out.
Your candle's out.
MIMI
I'm illin' I had it when I walked in the door
It was pure! Is it on the floor?
ROGER
The floor?
MIMI
They say I have the best ass below 14th street
Is it true?
ROGER
What?
MIMI
You're staring again!
ROGER
Oh no! I mean you do have a nice,I mean, you look familiar
MIMI
Like your dead girlfriend?
ROGER
Only when you smile. But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else.
MIMI
Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club? That's where I work
I dance. Help me look!
ROGER
Yes! They used to tie you up!
MIMI
It's a living.
ROGER
I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs.
MIMI
We could light the candle. Oh won't you light the candle?
ROGER
Why don't you forget that stuff? You look like you're sixteen!
MIMI
I'm nineteen, but I'm old for my age! I'm just born to be bad!
ROGER
I once was born to be bad. I used to shiver like that.
MIMI
I have no heat, I told you!
ROGER
I used to sweat.
MIMI
I got a cold
ROGER
Uh huh, I used to be a junkie
MIMI
But now and then I like to...
ROGER
Uh huh
MIMI
Feel good
ROGER
Here it, oh, no.
MIMI
What's that?
ROGER
Candy bar wrapper
MIMI
We could light the candle.
MIMI
Oh what'd you do with my candle?
ROGER
That was my last match
MIMI
Our eyes'll adjust, thank God for the moon
ROGER
Maybe it's not the moon at all.
I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street.
MIMI
Bah humbug, bah humbug
ROGER
Cold hands
MIMI
Yours too.
Big, like my father's. You wanna dance?
ROGER
With you?
MIMI
No, with my father!
ROGER
I'm Roger
MIMI
They call me, they call me, Mimi.
12. CHRISTMAS BELLS
HOMELESS MAN
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Somewhere else!
Not here
13. VOICE MAIL #2
MAUREEN
Hi, you've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget
Over the Moon, my performance protesting the 11th Street re-zoning.
Tonight at 1 am in the 11th street lot between A and B.
Party at Life Cafe to follow.
(BEEP)
MR. JEFFERSON
Well, Joanne we're off. Call Daisy for our itinerary or Alfred at
Pound Ridge, or Eileen at the state department in a pinch
We'll be at the spa for New Year's - unless the senator changes his
mind
MRS. JEFFERSON
The hearings
MR. JEFFERSON
Oh yes Muffin,Mummy's confirmation hearing begins on the tenth
We'll need you, alone, by the sixth
for the briefings and the luncheon on the eighth.
MRS. JEFFERSON
Harold!
MR. JEFFERSON
You hear that? It's three weeks away
and she's already nervous!
MRS. JEFFERSON
I am not!
MR. JEFFERSON
For Mummy's sake, Muffin, no Doc Martens this time,
and wear a dress. Oh, and Muffin, have a merry...
MRS. JEFFERSON
And a bra!
14. FEMALE TO FEMALE #2
MAUREEN
Did you check the hall?
JOANNE
I Checked
MAUREEN
Underneath the bed?
JOANNE
Right
MAUREEN
At the studio, no RCA's, and we're dead
JOANNE
Hang tight
MAUREEN
The cops are clearing out the lot by morning
JOANNE
It's true, Maureen.
MAUREEN
We'll lose our shot, my piece could be a warning
JOANNE
What should I do, Maureen?
MAUREEN
It's times like these I really appreciate Mark
JOANNE
I heard you before
MAUREEN
How can someone so bright, be so utterly in the dark?
JOANNE
Look, no more! Isn't it enough that I scratch your every itch?
MAUREEN
Bitch!
JOANNE
Isn't it enough that I pay for all of this?
MAUREEN
Kiss!
JOANNE
Isn't it enough that I put up every day with a temperamental, selfish,
abusive,
MAUREEN
Sexy!
JOANNE
All right, sexy...
MAUREEN
Talented, brilliant,
JOANNE
Infuriating,
MAUREEN
Funny!
JOANNE
(something)immature...
MAUREEN
Post-modern goddess!
JOANNE
And oh-so modest
MAUREEN
Kiss me!
JOANNE
I adore your eyes, I adore your eyes
MAUREEN
And my lousy reviews
JOANNE
And your lousy
MAUREEN
Hey!
JOANNE
It's one little pen
MAUREEN
I know
JOANNE
So The Times ain't a rag
MAUREEN
Oh no
JOANNE
One day they'll beg to carve a statue of you!
MAUREEN
I love you more each day
JOANNE
I love you, Maureen!
MAUREEN
RCA! On the table, if you love me run home and bring back the cable!
JOANNE
I hate you, Maureen!
MAUREEN
Run!
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen.
MAUREEN
If you fly I promise I will kiss you in a thousand places
JOANNE
The mind races, my queen.
MAUREEN
The feet race, the feet race, go!
JOANNE
Go over your speech.
MAUREEN
Go home or I'll screech!
JOANNE & MAUREEN
Female to female, female to female
MAUREEN
My speech: Last night I had this,shit! This what?
This dream. Last night I had this dream,last night I had this dream,
last night I had this dream, last night I had this...
female to female
15. ANOTHER DAY
ROGER
Who do you think you are? Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl - hey! The door is that way
You better go you know the fire's out anyway
Take the powder, take your candle, your sweet whisper
I just can't handle! Well, take your hair in the moonlight,
your brown eyes! Goodbye, goodnight!
I should tell you, I should tell you,
I should tell you, I should...no!
Another time, another place, our temperature would climb
there'd be a long embrace.
We'd do another dance, it'd be another play. Looking for romance?
Come back another day!
Another day!
Another, another day!
Another, another day!
MIMI
Your pain I see.Your heart's been burned
You're just like me, before I learned!
There is no future, there is no past.
I live this moment as my last!
There's only us, there's only this
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
No other road, no other way.
No day but today!
ROGER
Excuse me if I'm off track
But if you're so wise then tell me, why do you need smack?
Honey, get real. Here's the deal:
It's time for you to book,
I mean look you're cute but I don't buy that schpiel.
Take your needle, take your fancy prayer, and don't forget
get the moonlight out of your hair!
Long ago you might've lit up my heart, but the fire's dead
ain't never ever gonna start!
Another time, another place!
The words would only rhyme, we'd be in outer space
It'd be another song, we'd sing another way.
You wanna prove me wrong? Come back another day!
Another day!
MIMI
Your anger's real, but just beware.
It's a waste to feel, that fate's unfair.
There's no such thing as tragedy
I can't resent what's meant to be
There's only yes, only tonight
We must let go, to know what's right
No other course, no other way!
No day but today
MIMI & COMPANY
I can't control my destiny!
I trust my soul, my only goal, is just to be!
There's only now. there's only here.
Give in to love, or live in fear. No other path, no other way
no day but today...
ROGER
Control your temper
She doesn't see
Who says that there's a soul?
Just let me be!
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar!
Little girl, hey! The door is that way
The fire's out anyway!
ALL
No day but today! No day but today!
No day but today! No day but today!
No day but today!
ROGER
Take the powder, take the candle, take your whisper,
take your moonlit hair! Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile,
your silhouette! Another time, another place!
Another rhyme, a warm embrace!
Another dance, another way, another chance, another day!
16. CHRISTMAS BELLS #2/
THREE HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing! Christmas bells are ringing
! Christmas bells are ringing! Out of town! Santa Fe!
SQUEEGEEMAN
Honest living, man!
Feliz Navidad?!
HOMELESS PERSON
Evening, officers.
MARK
Smile for Ted Koppel, Officer Martin!
HOMELESS PERSON
And a Merry Christmas to your family
POLICE OFFICERS
Right!!
HOMELESS PERSON
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I don't need no goddamn help from some bleeding heart cameraman
My life's not for you to make a name for yourself on!
ANGEL
Easy, sugar, easy.
He was just trying to...
HOMELESS PERSON
Just trying to use me to kill his guilt
It's not that kind of movie, honey!
Let's go! This lot is full of motherfucking artists!
Hey artist - got a dollar? I thought not!
17. SANTA FE
ANGEL
New York City!
MARK
Uh huh
ANGEL
Center of the universe!
COLLINS
Sing it girl!
ANGEL
Times are shitty! But I'm pretty sure they can't get worse.
MARK
I hear you
ANGEL
It's a comfort to know, when you're singing the hit-the-road blues
that anywhere else you could possibly go after New York
would be a pleasure cruise.
COLLINS
Now you're talking! Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle
And I'm sick of grading papers - that I know
And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle
All this misery pays no salary so, we'll open up a restaurant in Santa
Fe
Oh sunny Santa Fe would be nice! We'll open up a restaurant in Santa
Fe!
And leave this to the roaches and mice.
ANGEL
You teach?
COLLINS
I teach, Computer Age Philosophy!
But my students would rather watch TV
ANGEL
America!
ALL
America!
ANGEL
I preach!
MARK
Hallelujah!
ANGEL
I beat the drum of apocalypse,
like orchestras on sinking ships
COLLINS
America!
ALL
America!
COLLINS
You're a sensitive aesthete, brush the sauce onto the meat.
You could make the menu sparkle with rhyme
You could drum a gentle drum
I could seat guests as they come
chatting not about Heidegger, but wine!
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe!
ANGEL, MARK & HOMELESS PEOPLE
Santa Fe
COLLINS
Our labors would reap financial gains
ANGEL, MARK & HOMELESS
Gains, gains, gains!
COLLINS
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe!
And save from devastation our brains
MAN
Save our brains
ALL
We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away
Devote ourselves to projects that sell
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
COLLINS
Forget this cold Bohemian hell
COLLINS
Do you know the way to Santa Fe?
You know, tumbleweeds...prairie dogs...Yeah
18. I'LL COVER YOU
MARK
Oh my God!
COLLINS & ANGEL
What?
MARK
Maureen! Quick, don't look. Is she with anyone?
ANGEL
You said not to look.
MARK
Shit!
COLLINS
She's alone.
MARK
That's it.
(MARK exits)
ANGEL
We'll never be that desperate
COLLINS
You'll never have to be
ANGEL
I've been hearing violins all night!
COLLINS
Anything to do with me? Are we a thing?
ANGEL
Darling... we're everything!
Live in my house, I'll be your shelter.
Just pay me back with one thousand kisses
Be my lover! I'll cover you!
COLLINS
Open your door, I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare!
I'll be there! I'll cover you!
BOTH
I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it! A new lease you are, my love,
on life, be my life!
Just slip me on I'll be your blanket.
Wherever, whatever, I'll be your coat!
ANGEL
You'll be my king, and I'll be your castle
COLLINS
No you'll be my queen, and I'll be your moat!
BOTH
I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love.
Now I know you can rent it,a new lease you are
my love, on life! All my life,
I've longed to discover something as true as this is!
COLLINS
So with a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you
ANGEL
If you're cold and you're lonely!
You've got one nickel only!
With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you!
With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you
COLLINS
When you're worn out and tired
when your heart has expired
BOTH
Oh lover! I'll cover you! Oh lover! I'll cover you!
19.
WILL I?
SOLOIST
Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
GROUP #1 through 4 in round
Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
20. YOU'LL GET OVER IT
MAUREEN
It's times like these I really appreciate - Mark! Dear, I'm so glad
you're here! Honey, baby! You've lost some weight...I mean you've
always looked great.
MARK
I try Maureen.
MAUREEN
Back when we used to date.
MARK
You lie Maureen.
MAREEN
Now let's not get irate.
MARK
Why Maureen?
MAUREEN
Joanne ran for the cable but of course she's late.
MARK
I don't know why I even try Maureen.
MAUREEN
My samples won't delay, but the cable...
MARK
There's another way! Say something, anything!
MAUREEN
Test 1-2-1-2-3
!
MARK
Anything but that. Tell me what it's like
MAUREEN
What?
MARK
With a girl - tell me what it's like for a girl and a girl.
MAUREEN
No way!
MARK
Tell me - or I walk away.
MAUREEN
It's amazing!
MARK
Who's on top? Who wears the pants? Who leads when you dance? Give me
one more chance Maureen! This is just a phase like girls and horses!
And you never even wore flannel shirts! You'll get over it!
MAUREEN
How's it going?
MARK
Not good - I'm depressed.
MAUREEN
I meant the sampler.
MARK
I'm adapting - repatching!
MAUREEN
Thank God! You're the best!
MARK
Ha!
MAUREEN
Don't be depressed! Tell me how you've been!
MARK
Why?
MAUREEN
Cause I care - tell me how you've been! God time flies!
MARK
Don't patronize!
MAUREEN
Tell me! We used to be friends!
MARK
I'm lonely, bored, and horny!!!
MAUREEN
Is there no one new? You need a mate! It's not too late! Have you even
had one date?
Boy, you just need some time then you'll be fine Mark! Anyway! I
treated you like dirt. You'll get over it! Just remember what you
hate about me! Though it may be hard.
MARK
How can you be so content without me? How can you disregard all we
had?
MAUREEN
Dysfunction!
MARK
All we said?
MAUREEN
I'm over men!
MARK
All we did!
MAUREEN
I slept around!
MARK
And you will again! Tell me what you'll do!
MAUREEN
When?
MARK
When you're bored! Tell me what you'll do when you tire of girls!
MAUREEN
I wont!
MARK
I'll tell you - you'll run back to me!
MAUREEN
Your fantasy!
MARK
You always do!
MAUREEN
Don't hold your breath!
MARK
I know your kind! Always change your mind!
MAUREEN
Don't be so blind! Can't you see? All my life I've known who I was
meant to be!
MARK
But you never even liked KD Lang!
MAUREEN
You'll get over it!
MARK
This is just a fad that will fade! You'll get over it!
MAUREEN
You just need to get laid! You'll get over it! In time we'll laugh
about this! You'll get over it!
MARK
In time you'll beg for my kiss!
MAUREEN
Don't bet on it!
MARK
Try it now!
MAUREEN
You'll get over it!
("You'll get over it" echoes)
Grrr!
MARK
I call this cause for hope!
MAUREEN
I would call this platonic - don't grope!!!
(JOANNE enters)
Honey! You're back! Uh - we're patched.
21. CHRISTMAS BELLS #3
HOMELESS
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Somewhere else...not here
MAN
Honest living, honest living, honest living. . .
HOMELESS
Christmas bells are singing
Christmas bells are singing
Christmas bells are singing
On TV-at Sach's
Can't you spare a dime or two?
Here before the grace of God, won't you?
You'll be merry, I'll be merry,
Tho merry aint in my vocabulary
No sleighbells, no Santa Claus,
No yule log, no tinsel, no holly,
No hearth, no Rudolph the Red-nosed
Reindeer, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,
No room at the Holiday Inn-Oh no!
And it's beginning to snow
VENDERS
Hats! Bags! Shoes! Boots! Mountain bikes! Potpourri!
Leather bags! Girlie mags! Tommy guns! AZT!
MAN
No one's buying! Feel like crying.
HOMELESS
No Visa, no Mastercard, no Am-Ex,
No traveler's checks, no dollars,
No cents, no Frosty the Snowman,
Frosty the snowman.
No room at the Holiday Inn-Oh no!
And it's beginning to snow!
WOMAN
How about a fur? In perfect shape! Owned
By an MBA from uptown. I got a tweed broken
In by a greedy broker who went broke and then
Broke down!
MAN
Something something ya baby
WOMAN
I got twenty yellow, French-cut trenchcoats worn by Warren
Beaty in a movie for real! I got cashmere, or if you're
Thinking cash, dear, if you've got the cash, we're here to deal.
COLLINS
You don't have to do this
ANGEL
Hush your mouth, it's Christmas
COLLINS
I do not deserve you, Angel! Give, give, all you do
Is give give me some way to show how you've touched me so
ANGEL (same time)
Wait! What's on the floor? Let's see some more? No,
No, no no. . . Kiss me, it's beginning to snow
MARK
She said "Would you light my candle" and she put on a pout
And she wanted you to take her out tonight?
ROGER
Right.
MARK
That's great!
ROGER
She was more than OK, but I pushed her away.
It was bad-I got mad, and I had to get her out
Of my sight.
MARK
Wait, wait wait! You said she was sweet.
ROGER
Let's go eat. I'll just get fat
It's the one vice left when you're
Dead meat.
No kisses...
MARK
I saw Maureen. . .
ROGER
No alcohol
MARK
She's in the lot.
ROGER
No sex
MARK
She's still my care
ROGER
Look that's her there
MARK
Where?
ROGER
There. That's her.
MARK
Maureen?
ROGER
Mimi!
MARK
Wo!
ROGER
I should go.
BOTH
Hey it's beginning to snow.
COPS
I'm dreaming of a white, bright Christmas
MIMI & JUNKIES
Follow the man. Follow the man.
With his pockets full of the jam.
Follow the man. Follow the man.
Help me out, Daddy, if you can!
Got any D Man?
THE MAN
I'm cool
MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any C man?
THE MAN
I'm cool
MIMI & Junkies
Got any X any smack
Any horse any Jugie Boogie Boy
Any blow?
I'm willin' I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off.
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide-gotta go!
MAN
I know (?)
ROGER
Hey
MIMI
Hey
ROGER
I just wanna say
MIMI
What?
ROGER
I just wanna saw
THE MAN
Hey something, you're in my space.
I shoulda known that familiar face.
Where ya been buying? Some other place?
Is this your lovely lady? Lookin good, Ace!
ROGER
I just wanna say, I'm sorry for the way
MIMI
Forget it
ROGER
I blew up. Can I make it up to you?
MIMI
How?
ROGER
Dinner party
MIMI
That'll do.
THE MAN
Hey loverboy, cutie-pie, you steal
My client-you die!
ROGER
You didn't miss me, you won't miss her.
You'll never lack for customers!
JUNKIES
I'm willin' I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off.
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide-gotta go!
THE MAN
And it's beginning to snow!
MAUREEN
Joanne!
JOANNE
Alright, Maureen!
JUNKIES
Got any C man?
Got any D man?
Got any B man?
Got any Crack?
Got any X?
VENDER
L.L. Bean, Geoffrey Beene
Burburry zip out lining
ROGER
Mark, this is Mimi. She'll be dining with us.
VENDOR
Here's a new arrival
THE MAN
That is an ounce
VENDORS
Hats, dats, bats
COLLINS
That's my coat!
VENDOR
We give discounts
MARK
I think we've met
ANGEL
Let's get a better one
COLLINS
It's a sham
MIMI
That's what he said
THE MAN
I said it's a gram!
COLLINS
But she's a thief
ANGEL
But she brought us together!
VENDOR
Shoes, boots, screws, no (?)
COLLINS
I'll take the leather
HOMELESS & VENDORS (from book-may not be actual lyrics)
Christmas bells are swinging
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
In my dreams. Next year.
Once you donate, you can go
Celebrate in Tuckahoe
You'll feel cheery
I'll feel cherry
Tho I don't really know that theory
No bathrobe
No steuben glass
No cappucino makers
No pearls, no diamonds
No Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
No room at the Holiday Inn-Oh no!
COPS
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Jingle bells-prison cells
Fa la la la la - fa la la la la
You have the right to remain
Silent night holy night
Fall on your knees oh night divine
You'll do some time
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la la
JUNKIES
Got any C man?
Got any D man?
Got any B man?
Got any X? Crack?
I'm willin' I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
c-d help me
follow the man follow the man
follow the man
jugie boogie jugie boogie
Follow the man follow the man
Any crack any x any jugie boogie boy
Any blow any x any jugie boogie boy
Got any D man got any C man
Got any X any jugie boogie
ANGEL and VENDOR (back and forth)
25 15 25 15 25 15 No way! 24!
15 24 15 Not today 23
15 23 15 23 15 It's old!
22 15 21 15 17 15 15
SOLD!
MARK& ROGER
Let's go to the lot. Maureen's performing
MIMI
Who's Maureen?
ROGER
His ex
MARK
But I'm over her
ROGER
Let's not hold hands yet
MIMI
Is that a warning?
ALL
He/you/I
Just need (s)
To take it slow
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I should tell you
I Should tell you
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to
MAUREEN
Last night I had this dream
ALL
Snow!!!
22. OVER THE MOON
MAUREEN
Last night, I had this dream. I dreamt I was in a desert. It was hot.
My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty. I happened upon a herd
of cattle. They too were lost. Even worse-they were blind. I asked a
cow, Elsie, what blind cattle were doing in the desert. She said she
wasn't blind. She was visually challenged. She gauged her eyes out!
She gauged her eyes out! Did you sleep with your mother and murder your
father, I asked. "Worse," she said. "I got cable." She said, "Only
thing to do is jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over the
moon." Wait a minute. I have cable too, I said. But I haven't blinded
myself and wandered into the desert. My lips were chapped and dried. I
needed a diet Coke. "This desert was once an orchard," she said. "And
the fruit that grew here was rare-fertilized with milk and honey. They
laid the cable. And the fruit dies. Only one way to restore..."
BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith. . .
MAUREEN
"Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over
the moon". Children, artists, lovers, jump over the moon every day! I
can't get off the ground! Children, artists, lovers possess the to awe,
compassion, imagination. Cows do not! It's like I've got this meat hook
stuck in my back. Fastened to a long, black cable! I blinded myself cuz
I wanted to see. To jump over the moon.
BACKUP
Leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith...
MAUREEN
Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Then another cow approached,
Ferdinand. "That's bull", he said. "Their eyes gave out cuz they read
too many books and newspapers. They thought they saw degradation - it
was depravity. They thought they saw greed - it was merely survival.
They thought they saw disease - it was justice. This is just a dry
spell. Before we know it, the fruit will reappear". "Not without a
leap of faith," Elsie said. She asked if I was still thirsty. Parched.
"Have some milk". I lowered myself beneath her. Held my mouth up to her
swollen udder and sucked the sweetest milk I had ever tasted.
(sucking noise)
And as I wiped my mouth off with my pajama sleeve, a harvest moon rose
out of the dream horizon. Elsie reared back and sprang into a gallop!
Leaping, finally she was airborne! Soaring over the desert, beyond the
cable, until she was zooming out of orbit! And I awoke singing...
BACKUPS
leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith...
MAUREEN
Only thing to do... Only thing to do is jump... Only thing to do is
jump over the moon! Only thing to do is jump over the moon! The moon!
The moooon! Mooooooooooon! Mooooooooooo! Moooooooooooooo! Thank you.
23. LA VIE BOHEME
RESTAURANT MAN
No please no, not tonight, please no, mister can't you go, not tonight,
can't have a scene!
ROGER
What?
RESTAURANT MAN
Go please, go you, hello sir, I said no, important customer!
MARK
What am I? Just a blur?
RESTAURANT MAN
You sit all night, you never buy!
ROGER
That's a lie! That's a lie! I had a tea the other day.
RESTAURANT MAN
You couldn't pay
ROGER
Oh yeah.
COLLINS
Benjamin Coffin III - here?
RESTAURANT MAN
Oh no!
ALL
Wine and beer!!
MAUREEN
The enemy of Avenue A - we'll stay
RESTAURANT MAN
Oy Vey!
COLLINS
What brings our distinguished slum lord to the Life Caf‚,?
BENNY
Hold on boys, gotta do a little business. So you're off the hook for
now.
ROGER
The video franchise?
BENNY
Who said you're not smart?
ROGER
Blockbuster.
GIRLS
Blockbuster?
PERSON
Blockbuster!
MAUREEN
Wow!
BENNY
Mimi! I'm surprised. A bright and charming girl like you hangs out with
these slackers. They make fun yet I'm the one attempting to do some
good. Or do you really want a neighborhood where people piss on your
stoop every night? Bohemia, Bohemia's a fallacy in your head. This is
Calcutta. Bohemia is dead.
MARK
Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our good-byes.
COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae, dies illa (etc)
MARK
Here she lies. No one knew her worth. The late, great daughter of
mother Earth. On this night we celebrate the birth, in that little
town of Bethlehem, we raise our glass, you bet your ass to - la vie
boheme!
ALL
La Vie Boheme, La Vie Boheme, La Vie Boheme, La Vie Boheme....
MARK
To days of inspiration playin hooky, making something out of nothing,
the need to express, to communicate. To going against the grain, going
insane, going mad! To loving tension, no pension, to more than one
dimension, to starving for attention, hating convention, hating
pretension, not to mention of course hating dear old mom and dad!
To riding your bike midday past the three piece suits, to fruits, to no
absolutes, to Absolut, to choice, to the Village Voice, to any passing
fad! To being an us for once, instead of a them!
ALL
La Vie Boheme! La Vie Boheme.
MAUREEN
Is the equipment in a pyramid?
JOANNE
It is, Maureen.
MAUREEN
The mixer doesn't have a case. Don't give me that face!
(Maureen slaps her)
LADY
Ahem!
MAUREEN
Hey sister, she's my sister
RESTAURANT MAN
So that's five Miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner,
two tofu dog platter, and one pasta with meatless balls?
GIRL
Ugh!
COLLINS
It tastes the same.
MIMI
If you close your eyes.
RESTAURANT MAN
And seven orders of fries. Is that it here?
ALL
Wine and beer!
ANGEL & MIMI
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries, to yoga, to yogurt, to
rice and beans and cheese. To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo, to
huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou!
COLLINS & MAUREEN
Emotion devotion, to causing a commotion, creation, vacation.
MARK
Mucho masturbation!
COLLINS & MAUREEN
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new!
COLLINS
To Sontag!
ANGLEL
To Sondheim!
PEOPLE
To anything taboo!
COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage!
COLLINS
Lenny Bruce!
ROGER
Langston Hughes!
MAUREEN
To the stage!
PERSON
To Uta!
PERSON
To Buddha!
PERSON
Pablo Neruda, too!
MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow - to blow off Auntie Em!
ALL
La Vie Boheme!
MAUREEN
And wipe the speakers off before you pack.
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen.
MAUREEN
Well, hurry back!
(MAUREEN kisses JOANNE)
LADY
Sisters?!?
MAUREEN
We're close!
ANGEL, COLLINS, MARK & MAUREEN
Brothers!
MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinogens, men,
Pee Wee Herman, German wine, turpentine, Getrude Stein, Antonioni,
Burtolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana!
COLLINS, MAUREEN, ROGER & OTHERS
CBGBs, De la sota, tabouli, body fluids, KS lesions, funny looks,
transfusions, silence=death, dairy?, including Cannabis santiva, Camel
lights, Carmen Miranda, Nirvana!
ALL
To apathy to entropy to empathy, ecstasy, Vaclav Havel, the Sex
Pistols, 8BC, to no shame, never playin the fame game!
COLLINS
To marijuana!!!
ALL
To sodomy, it's between God and me, to S&M!
BENNY
Waiter, waiter, waiter!
ALL
La Vie Boheme!
COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia, an impromptu salon will commence
immediately following dinner. Mimi Marquez, clad in bubble wrap, with
perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of ice tea
being stirred!
ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview the documentary he'll never finish, "The
parting of the red sea" about his inability to hold an erection on the
high holy days, starring his former lover's current female lover as
himself!
MARK
And Maureen Johnson, back from a spectacular one-night engagement at
the 11th street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backward
through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello-
which she has never studied!
(privately to Maureen)
Meet you in the bathroom.
MAUREEN
You're not serious?!
MARK
I am.
MAUREEN
How was the show?
MARK
You know you're good. I'll bring the dental dam!
MAUREEN
Don't take this the wrong way, but Mark, honey, take a hike!
MARK
You wouldn't consider an auld lang syne between friends!?
MAUREEN
Hello!! I'm a dyke!
LADY
Another brother?
MAUREEN
Ex-lover.
PERSON
Roger will attempt to commit to an ending to his bittersweet evocative
guitar solo symbolizing the death of Kinipsy!
MARK
Not now, Roger.
COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris
while accompanying herself on the ten-gallon plastic pickle tub.
ANGEL
And Collins will recount to us his exploits as anarchist, including the
tale of his successful reprogramming of the MIT virtual reality
equipment to self-destruct as it broadcast the words:
ALL
Actual reality! Act up! Fight AIDS!
BENNY
Check!
MIMI
Excuse me, did I do something wrong? I get invited, then ignored, all
night long!
ROGER
I've been tryin, I'm not lying. No one's perfect, I've got baggage!
MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flyin. I'm looking for baggage that
goes with mine!
ROGER
I should tell you.
MIMI
I've got baggage, too, should tell you!
BOTH
Baggage, wine!
ALL
And beer!
GIRLS and GUYS (alternating)
Rest in peace,
Bon Voyage, goodbye!
Bohemia!
You're much to young to die!
ALL
Here's one last toast, for you our heart still throbs. Send back your
ghost, or else we'll have to get real jobs!
To Dance!
MIMI & GIRL
No way to make a living. Masochism, pain perfection, muscle spasms,
chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders! Film!
MARK
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations, darkrooms, perfect
faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!
COLLINS, MAUREEN & MIMI
Music!
ANGEL & ROGER
Food of love, emotion mathematics, isolation, rhythm, power, feeling,
harmony and heavy competition!
ALL
Anarchy!
MAUREEN
Revolution, justice screaming for solution, forcing changes, risking
dangers, making noise, and making pleas!
ALL
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross-dressers too!
MAUREEN
To me!
MARK & PERSON
To me!
PERSON
To me!
ALL
To you, and you and you, you and you! To people living with, living
with, living with - not dying from disease! Let he among us without sin
be the first to condemn! La Vie Boheme! La Vie Boheme! La Vie
Boheme!...
MARK
Anyone out of the mainstream? Is anyone in the mainstream? Anyone alive
with a sex drive? Tear down those walls, aren't we all? The opposite of
war isn't peace - it's creation!
ALL
Viva La Vie Boheme!
24. AZT BREAK/ MAUREEN AND JOANNE'S FIGHT
(sound of beepers going off)
COLLINS
AZT break!
ANGEL
DDT!
MAUREEN
The ever-popular DDC-Zovarc's-Prozac cocktail!
(JOANNE walks in on MAUREEN)
This is not what you think.
JOANNE
Then what? Why use it?
MAUREEN
Joanne, it's just Mark.
ROGER
You?
MIMI
Me - you?
ROGER
Mimi.
JOANNE
By the way, I almost forgot! They're rioting back at the lot! Benny
says evict, cops don't know what they're doing. No one's leaving,
they're sitting there mooing! Thank you Joanne for everything you've
done - oh don't mention it! I love being a wreck.
WAITER
I'll bring the check.
25. I SHOULD TELL YOU
ROGER
I should tell you, I should tell you...
MIMI
I should tell you, I should tell you...
ROGER
I should tell you I'm disaster, I forget how to begin it.
MIMI
Let's just make this part go faster, I have yet to be in it. I should
tell you...
ROGER
I should tell you...
MIMI
I should tell you...
ROGER
I should tell you...
MIMI
I should tell that I can't sleep at night, I'm scared to close my eyes.
ROGER
Lately I'm so filled with fright, I rarely share, I criticize.
MIMI
I should tell you...
ROGER
I should tell you...
MIMI
I should tell you...
ROGER
I should tell you...
MIMI
I should tell my style of fighting - I don't move, gaze or speak.
ROGER
I get flustered with my writing, catatonic for a week.
MIMI
I should tell you...
ROGER
I should tell you...
MIMI
I should tell you...
BOTH
I should tell... well, here we go. Now we...
MIMI
Oh no!
ROGER
I know this something is...here goes...
MIMI
Here goes.
ROGER
Guess so...it's starting to...who knows...
MIMI
Who knows?
ROGER
Do what it does...
MIMI
We'll go where.
ROGER
I know...there because...
MIMI
Because we're starting to...
ROGER
Something... guess so...
MIMI
Who knows?
BOTH
Who knows where? Who goes there? Who knows? Here goes! Trusting desire
- starting to learn. Walking through fire without a burn. Clinging -
a shoulder, a leap begins. Stinging and older, asleep on pins. So
here we go. Now we...
ROGER
Oh no!
MIMI
I know.
ROGER
Oh no.
BOTH
Who knows where? Who goes there?
ROGER
Who knows?
MIMI
Who knows?
ROGER
Who goes?
MIMI
Who goes?
BOTH
Here goes... (repeat 5x)
End of Act I
ACT II
1. VOICE MAIL #3
(phone rings)
BENNY
The funeral is today at 9 a.m. at the Meeting House on 11th Street in Avenue B.
SECRETARY
If Mimi Marquez is at this number, please call Dr. White at 338-4322. On Monday
November 2nd between 3:00 and 3:15 your bloodwork is in and it’s vital you talk
to the doctor. Also Mimi remember you also still owe $111.68 on your last bill,
the new one will cost $238.31, making your October balance $349.99 - due
immediately. If Mimi is not at this number, uh...Happy Halloween.
2. SEASONS OF LOVE
COMPANY
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of
love.
SOLOIST 1
525,600 minutes! 525,000 moments to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure
the life of a woman or man?
SOLOIST 2
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or
the way that she died.
COMPANY
It’s time now to sing out, although it’s not the end. To celebrate remember a
year in the life of a friend. Remember the love! Remember the love! Remember
the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.
3. OUT TONIGHT
MIMI
What’s the time? Well it’s gotta be close to midnight! My body’s talking to me,
it says time for danger. It says I wanna I wanna commit a crime, wanna be the
cause of a fight. I wanna put on a tight skirt and pretend you’re a stranger!
I’ve got an itch to be a bitch! I need to laugh like a child. C’mon (something)
bought - I know a spot, where it’s hot not to go wild! We don’t need any money,
I always get in for free! You can get in too if you get in with me! Let’s go out
tonight! I hafta go out tonight! You wanna play, let’s run away! We wont be back
till next Valentine’s Day! Take me out tonight! Meow.
MAUREEN
(Into phone)
Forget me not? I can’t forget you Mark, it’s like forgetting a brother a friend
- that too. Well, thanks for the - Mark stop crying! No this is not a phase I’m
going through.
MIMI
I had a knack from way back of breaking the rules once I learned the games. Get
up - life’s too quick! I know someplace sick! Where this chick will dance in the
flames! When I get a wink from the doorman do you know how lucky you’ll be? That
you’re on-line with the feline of Avenue B! Let’s go out tonight! I hafta go out
tonight! You wanna prowl? Be my night owl? Well take my hand we’re gonna howl
out tonight!
ANGEL
(In the background)
He loves me - he loves me more - he loves me - he loves me more - etc.
MAUREEN
It’s me.
JOANNE
Traditional Chinese medicine offers a holistic approach - using acupuncture.
MAUREEN
Do I care?
JOANNE
Not if you don’t!
MAUREEN
Kiss?
JOANNE
No - I can’t take this!
MIMI
In the evening I’ve got to roam, can’t sleep in the city of neon and chrome.
Feels to damn much like home when the Spanish babies cry! So let’s find a bar,
so dark we forget who we are! And all the scars of the nevers and maybes die!
Let’s go out tonight!
I hafta go out tonight! You’re sweet, wanna hit the street? Wanna wail at the
moon like a cat in heat! Just take me out tonight! Please take me out tonight!
Don’t forsake me. Out tonight! I’ll let you make me out tonight! Tonight!
Tonight! Tonight! Tonight!
4. SEASONS OF LOVE #2
COMPANY
In diapers, report cards, in spoked wheels, in speeding tickets. In contracts,
dollars, in funerals, in births, in 525,600 minutes - how do you figure a last
year on earth? Figure in love! Figure in love! Figure in love! Figure in love.
Seasons of love, seasons of love.
5. VOICE MAIL #4
(phone rings once)
MAUREEN
April in the cruelest month. You can reach Joanne at 784-3321. Anyone but Mark
- please leave a message.
(Dial tone as Mark hangs up the phone)
6. WITHOUT YOU
MAUREEN
Without you, the ground falls, the grass grows. Without you, the seeds root,
the flowers bloom, the children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the
eagles fly, without you. The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without
you. Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves. Without
you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash. The crowds roar, the
days soar, the babies cry, without you. The moon glows, the river flows, but I
die, without you.
MAUREEN & JOANNE
The world revives, colors renew, but I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within
me blue.
MAUREEN
Without you. Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.
BOTH
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.
JOANNE
The mind churns!
MAUREEN
The mind churns!
JOANNE
The heart yearns!
MAUREEN
The heart yearns!
BOTH
The tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I’m gone.
MAUREEN
Cause I die, without you.
JOANNE
Without you.
BOTH
Without you!
7. VOICE MAIL #5
(phone rings once)
COLLINS
We went to steal an air-conditioner.
ANGEL
We’ll be right back.
STUDENT
Um, professor Collins, um, I’ll be a freshman in your class this fall. Um, the
summer reading list, um, the bookstore in Dayton didn’t have “The Story of O”.
So I’m wondering - he said he was gonna steal an air-conditioner! Maybe this
isn’t the right number.
8. CONTACT
VARIOUS VOICES
Um hmmm! You know that’s right! Oh yeah baby! Silky silky silky! Lord have
mercy! etc.
COMPANY
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet! wet-wet-wet-red-heat! Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet! Wet-wet-
wet-red-heat! Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet! Wet-wet-wet-red-heat!
Sticky-licky-trickle-tickle-steamy-creamy-soaking-stoking!
COLLINS
Touch!
MAUREEN
Taste!
MIMI
Deep!
COLLINS
Dark!
MAUREEN
Kiss!
COLLINS
Beg!
MIMI
Slap!
COLLINS, MIMI & MAUREEN
Fear!
COLLINS
Thick!
COLLINS, MAUREEN & MIMI
Red, red, red, red, red, red - please!
MAUREEN
Harder!
ANGEL
Faster!
MAUREEN
Wetter!
MIMI
Bastard!
COLLINS
You whore!
MAUREEN
You cannibal!
ANGEL & MIMI
More!
MAUREEN
You animal!
COLLINS, MAUREEN & MIMI
Fluid no fluid no contact yes no contact
ALL
Fire, fire, burn - burn yes! No latex rubber rubber! Fire latex rubber latex
bummer lover bummer!
ANGEL
Take me! Take me! Take me! Take me! Take me! Oh! Take me! Take me! Take me! Take
me! Today me! Today me! Tomorrow you! Today me! Tomorrow you! Take me! Tomorrow
you love! You love! I love you! I love you! Oh! Take me! Take me! I love you!
ROGER
Um...
JOANNE
Wait!
MIMI
Slipped!
COLLINS
Shit.
JOANNE
Ow!
ROGER
Where’d it go?
MIMI
Safe.
COLLINS
Damn.
MAUREEN
I think I missed - don’t get pissed.
ALL
It was bad for me! Was it bad for you?
MAUREEN
Move over!
JOANNE
Move over!
ROGER
It’s over!
MIMI
It’s over!
COLLINS
It’s over.
9. I'LL COVER YOU #2
MIMI
Angel was one of my closest friends. I knew we'd hit it off the moment we met.
This skinhead was bothering her and she that she was more of a man he'd ever be
and more of a woman then he'd ever get.
MARK
Then there was this time when he walked right up to this group of tourists and
they were petrified because A, they were obviously lost and B, they had probably
never spoken to a drag queen before in their lives. And he, she, offered to
escort them out of Alphabet City and then let them take a picture of her and
then said she'd help them find the ?Circle Line?
MAUREEN
You were so much more original then any of us. You'd find an old tablecloth on
the street and turn it into a dress and sure enough next year they'd be mass
producing them at The Gap. You always said how lucky you felt that we were all
friends, but it was us wasn't it? We were the lucky ones.
COLLINS
Live in my house, I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with 1,000 kisses. Be
my lover, and I'll cover you. Open my door, I'll be your tenant, don't got much
baggage to lay at your feet. But sweet kisses I've got to spare, I'll be there
and I'll cover you. I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love,
now I know you can rent it. A new lease you were my love, on life. All my
life, I've longed to discover something as true as this is.
SOLOIST #1
So with a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you. With a thousand sweet kisses,
I'll cover you. With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you. With a thousand
sweet kisses, I'll cover you.
COLLINS
If you're cold and you're lonely. You've got one nickel only. When you're worn
out and tired. When your heart has expired.
COMPANY
525,600 minutes. 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes. 525,600 - measure
a year.
ALL
Oh lover! I'll cover you! (over and over)
10. GOODBYE LOVE
MIMI
You said you that you were leaving town last week.
ROGER
You said that Benny was the most disgusting yuppy scum of the earth.
BENNY
You said you'd never speak to him again.
MIMI
Not now!
MAUREEN
Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all!
JOANNE
You said you'd stick to your own problems.
MAUREEN
You said you'd give me some space!
JOANNE
Maureen, we have this fight each night! Why can't you admit you need me?
MARK
Everyone! Please!
MIMI
He's the same way, he's always run away, hit the road, don't commit, you're
full of shit!
BENNY
Mimi!
JOANNE
She's in denial!
MIMI
He's in denial!
JOANNE
You gave an inch when I gave a mile!
MIMI
I gave a mile!
ROGER
When you weren't trashed!
BENNY & MARK
C'mon guys! Chill!
JOANNE & MIMI
I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had!
MAUREEN
Don't give up Joanne!
JOANNE & MIMI
Someone to live for!
MAUREEN
I live for you! I do!
JOANNE & MIMI
Unafraid to say I love you!
ROGER
Oh, your words are nice Mimi, but love's not a one-way street! You'll never
share real love until you love yourself - I should know!
COLLINS
You all said you'd be cool tonight - so please, for my sake! I can't believe
he's gone, I can't believe you're going.
ALL
I can't believe this is goodbye.
MARK
I hear there are great restaurants out West.
ROGER
Some of the best. How could she?
MARK
How could you let her go?
ROGER
You just don't know. How could we lose Angel?
MARK
Maybe you'll see why if you face up to your pain, at least now if you try
Angel's death wont be in vain.
ROGER
His death is in vain!
MARK
Use your right brain, there's so much to care about, there's me, there's Mimi.
ROGER
Mimi's got her baggage too.
MARK
So do you!
ROGER
I don't know what I am, what I know, what to do.
MARK
Who does?
ROGER
Oh God Mark! Don't you?
MARK
Mark has got his work, they say Mark lives for his work. And Mark's in love
with his work, Mark hides in his work.
ROGER
From what?
MARK
From facing my failure, facing my loneliness, facing the fact I live a lie!
ROGER
You don't live a lie! Tell you why, you never finished your film cause the
standards you set for yourself are too high! But the fact remains that you're
the one of us with the talent and the drive. The fact remains Mark, you're the
one to survive.
MARK
I know. I'm afraid the burden's gonna make me crack.
ROGER
If it does just let me know - I'll come back.
MARK
Why's it easier to return to a friend then to burn with a lover till the end?
ROGER
Not as much to lose!
MARK
Mimi still loves Roger, Mimi's just with Benny cause Mimi's getting weak.
ROGER
Mimi did look pale.
MARK
Mimi's gotten thin, Mimi's running out of time, Roger's running out the door!
ROGER
No more! Oh no, I've got to go!
MARK
Anything you need in Santa Fe?
ROGER
I'll be fine - make your film!
MARK
Okay. Love you! Call.
ROGER
Love you too. I hate the fall.
(Mimi enters)
ROGER
You heard?
MIMI
Every word. You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees, you don't want
to watch me die. I just came to say goodbye love, goodbye love! Came to say
goodbye love, goodbye! Just came to say goodbye love, goodbye love! Goodbye
love, goodbye.
ROGER
Right brain - how do I find the right brain? I lost my map!
MIMI
Goodbye love! Goodbye love! Came to say goodbye love, goodbye! Just came to say
goodbye love, goodbye love! Goodbye love, hello disease.
11. REAL ESTATE
MINISTER
Hey! I said I didn't want you on these premise and I meant it! What do you
think? We give hand outs here?
MARK
Is that any way to send a boy to meet his maker? They should have known we
couldn't pay the undertaker.
BENNY
What happened to rest in peace?
MARK
It's true! And they wouldn't even take an IOU. I give up!
BENNY
Don't worry about him! I'll take care of it. Alison make a note - church
donation.
MARK
It must be nice to have money.
BENNY
It is.
MARK
I don't know why I do this anymore. I'm all alone, and my films no prize. But
I've got the stuff, at least everybody says so. All my friends have flown or
are dropping like flies. And if that's not enough I'm in love with a lezbo! My
rent is due, my family's nuts, I haven't had sex in a millenium. I'm stuck with
you! I hate your guts! And it's only ten am!
BENNY
Have you considered real estate?
MARK
Real estate?
BENNY
Real estate! Have you considered real estate as a career? Could you consider
real estate?
MARK
Let me get this straight...
BENNY
Could be great! Cohen and Coffin - like Helmsley and Speare! I know it may it
sound silly, it's a notion I've had for a while. Imagine us as affiliates, we
could go to town! My savvy - your smile! There's art in every deal, create with
bricks and steal.
MARK
Real estate... I don't know...
ALISON
What's with him?
MARK
I start work, I don't complete. Am I uninspired, or just a perfectionist? I'm
such a jerk, I don't compete. I can't get hired as a PA or a projectionist. I
hate my hair and my goatee, I talk in my sleep, but no one's there to listen.
Why do I care about film or TV? What they ever do for me?
BENNY
Have you considered real estate?
ALISON
Real estate.
BENNY
Real estate!
MARK
I should consider real estate. My life is a dump.
BENNY
Do consider real estate!
MARK
Real estate!
BENNY
We'll collaborate! Any fool can do it, witness Donald Trump!
MARK
Maybe it's time to stop carousing, do something else more fulfilling. Couldn't
we build low income housing?
BENNY
That's an idea! I mean it! Really!
MARK
It does have its appeal.
BENNY
Doing for the common deal!
BENNY & MARK
Real estate!
ALISON
Anyway, there ain't no money in documentary film! I said there ain't no money in
documentary film! And I know there ain't no money cause folks get funny, they
like things sunny, not truthful honey! There ain't no money in documentary
films! Any idiot can turn on a camera and shoot hobo's! Developing property
requires vision. Take that site over there! Last year empty lot - next year
super store! Last year filthy bum
MARK
Person!
ALISON
Okay filthy person! Next year automatic double doors! Last year empty boxes
filled with strangers - next year Might Morphin' Power Rangers!
MARK
I'm doomed forever to be poor.
MARK, ALISON, & BENNY (done in a round - not all lyrics are here)
There ain't no money in documentary films! There ain't no money in documentary
films! There ain't no money cause folks get funny, they like things sunny, not
truthful honey! There ain't no money in documentary films!
BENNY
Meet you back in Scarsdale!
ALISON
Last year crummy boho goon - next year corporate tycoon!
BENNY
A team like Snow White and a Dwarf! Like Edwin Coch and Steven Gorne!
MARK
I'll never have that kind of zeal and my expose will soon reveal! I'm just not
cut out for...
ALL THREE
Real estate!
12. OPEN ROAD
ROGER
Open road, why does love erode? Get away, you can't stay away! Look away from
the mirror now - look straight out ahead, that's how. But how can you let her
go? Let her go. No, you can't her can't save the world, better save your heart.
Start to close the door, look for open road. Open road, why can't I crack loves
code? Time to fly, no time to say goodbye. Goodbye! Just try to forget her
face, just get yourself in the race. There's a place that you have to go, have
to go. No, you can't heal there pain, better heal your heart. Start your motor
up, take up open road. There's a hit and run cat on the highway, another cat
sits saying a prayer. I swear as I pass she's laughing my way. Where did my
love go, cry her eyes! Where did my love go?
OPERATOR
The number you have reached 675-8304 has been disconnected.
(dial tone)
ROGER
Where did my love go? No, you can't forget her eyes, you'll still protect your
heart. As you start for home, breathe it in and slow. You don't have to go if
your heart is open, your heart is open, your heart is open road!
13. VOICE MAIL #7
(phone rings)
MARK & ROGER
Speak!
(beep!)
ROGER'S MOM
Roger! This is your mother! Roger honey, I don't get these postcards! Moving to
Santa Fe, back in New York, moving to Brooklyn. Roger where are you? Roger
where are you? Please call...
MIMI'S MOM
Mimi, chica, donde esta? Tu mama esta llamando. Donde estas Mimi call...
MR. JEFFERSON
Muffin, wherever are you? Call...
MRS. COHEN
Mark, are you there, are you there? I don't know if he's there! We're all here,
wishing you were here too! Where are you Mark? Are you there are you where are
you? Mark are you there? Are you there? I don't know if - please call your
mother!
14. CHRISTMAS BELLS #4
HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing! Christmas bells are ringing! Christmas bells are
ringing! How time flies - when compassion dies! No stockings, no candy canes, no
ginger bread, no safety net, no loose change, no change, no...
HOMELESS MAN
Santa Claus is coming!
HOMELESS PEOPLE
Cause Santa Claus aint coming! No room at the Holiday Inn again! Well maybe next
year or when!
15. RENT #3
ROGER
If I got a rope and hung myself, my face bright blue, my sneakers dangling in
the air!
MARK
If I bought an AK47, shot myself, would anyone care?
ROGER
Light Quentin Tarantino!
MARK
Fuck, what does he know?
BOTH
How we gonna pay? How we gonna pay? How we gonna pay last years...
16. FINALE
(Enter Collins)
COLLINS
Salutations! I had a little hunch, you could use a little flow.
ROGER
Tutoring again?
COLLINS
Negative!
MARK
Back at NYU?
COLLINS
No, no, no. I rewired the ATM at the Food Emporium, to provide an honorarium to
anyone with the code.
MARK & ROGER
The code - well?
COLLINS
A - N - G - E - L
Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution. The powers that be must be undermined
where they dwell. In a small exclusive gourmet institution, where we overcharge
the wealthy clientele. We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe.
MARK & ROGER
Santa Fe!
COLLINS
With a private corner banquette all our own.
MARK & ROGER
All our own!
COLLINS
We'll make it yet we'll somehow get to Santa Fe.
MARK & ROGER
Santa Fe!
ROGER
In a car this time that makes it past (???)
ALL THREE
Oh......
(enter Benny)
BENNY
Espresso Alison, espresso Alison, and Sam Boom and Salukis closed (???)
We are the world, we are the children. Hey, choo choo Charlie.
ALL FOUR
Off the Harley!
BENNY
No more fiction, this is an eviction!
COLLINS
We're already moving
ROGER
We hoo - ha hoo! (?)
MARK
Gang way Blockbuster!
BENNY
Blockbuster fell through!
COLLINS
You have a conscience?
BENNY
My wife...
ROGER
You suck!
BENNY
I'm cut off from the trust fund!
MARK
What about Mimi?
BENNY
You can stay if you pay!
ROGER
What about...
BENNY
Not so loud!
MARK, ROGER, and COLLINS
Mimi?!?!
BENNY
Hey!
ROGER
How do you work these?
BENNY
Don't be a jerk please!
ROGER
I'm a jerk?
BENNY
I didn't see you paying her blue cross!
ROGER
I don't make money by selling out to destitute.
BENNY
Out of my house you squatters!
ROGER
You slumlord!
BENNY
I dumped Mimi anyways. It was a drag! Things got queer!
COLLINS, MARK & ROGER
When?
BENNY
A week ago, more!
MARK
Where is she?
BENNY
I assumed...you mean she isn't here?
ROGER
Alison!
BENNY
Don't you do that!
ROGER
I just thought you might like to know...
MAUREEN
Mark! Roger! Anyone! Help!
MARK
Maureen?
MAUREEN
It's Mimi! I can't get her up the stairs!
ROGER
No!
MAUREEN
She was huddled in the park, in the dark, and she was freezing and begged to
come here.
ROGER
Over here! My God!
MIMI
Got a light? I know you...you're shivering!
JOANNE
She was living on the street.
ROGER
We need some heat.
MIMI
I'm shivering!
MARK
We can buy some wood and something to eat.
COLLINS
I'm afraid she needs more than heat.
MIMI
I heard that!
MAUREEN
Collins will get you a doctor honey.
MIMI
Don't waste your money on Mimi, me, me.
COLLINS
(counting money) 15, 16....
MAUREEN
There, there.
MIMI
Cold! Cold! Would you light my candle?
MARK
Wait I'll sell the camera!
COLLINS
Time to be on your way comrade, it's been 525,600 moments clad. We were nomads
together in a no mans land! Where man's the only beast who pays rent. And if
it's spent, at least he's got to stay afloat. And he's got to have a damn good
coat. Which you were like an Angel! But it's over! Goodbye love! Goodbye love!
Goodbye love, goodbye! Farewell Angel.
MARK
I finished the film.
MAUREEN
That's great.
MARK
It's called "Today for You - Proof Positive".
MARK & MAUREEN
God let her live!
MIMI
I should tell you, I should tell you.
ROGER
I should tell you, I should tell you.
MIMI
I should tell you Benny wasn't any...
ROGER
Sshh! I know. I should tell you why I left, it wasn't cause I didn't...
MIMI
Don't go! I should tell you.
ROGER
I should tell you.
MIMI
I should tell you.
MIMI & ROGER
I love you! Walking through fire without a burn.
ROGER
Clinging - a shoulder.
MIMI
A leap begins.
ROGER
Stinging and older.
MIMI
Asleep on pins.
MIMI & ROGER
So here we go, now we...
ROGER
Oh no.
MIMI
I know.
ROGER
Oh no.
ROGER
Who knows where? Who goes there? Who knows? Here goes.
(Mimi collapses)
ROGER
Who do you think you are? Leaving me alone with my guitar.
(plays Musetta's Waltz)
ROGER
Mimi!
(Mimi jumps up)
MIMI
Moonstruck! The theme from Moonstruck!
MARK
Moonstruck?
MIMI
Moooooo!
MARK
I knew it sounded familiar
MAUREEN
She's drenched!
MARK
Her fever's breaking!
MIMI
There is no future, there is no past.
ROGER
Thank God this moments not the last!
MIMI & ROGER
There's only us, there's only this. Forget regret or life is yours to miss.
ALL
No other road, no other way, no day but today.
WOMEN
I can't control - my destiny! I trust my soul! My only goal is just to be!
Without you - the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. Life goes on,
but I'm gone, cause I die, without you. I die without you. I die without you.
No day but today. I die without you.
MEN
Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this
nightmare? There's only now, there's only here, give into love or live in fear.
No other path, no other way, no day but today. No day but today. No day but
today. No day but today.
ALL
No day but today!
THE END
