Now, as the years have passed, my anger of being a victom has eased
and I can now appreciate what I DID learn from Paul. He was a kind and
compassionate man. For what ever reason he created the myth...I can't
say. I can say that I knew him as an intelligent man...too smart to
think the 'truth' would never come out.
I can't speak for Paul, but I do often think of something he said once to a small group of us once. "When it is all said and done, only a hand full will ever understand what I have been talking about."
My heart has long since healed, my memories of Eckankar are good and warm now. I grasp the spiritual truths I did learn that i tossed out with the washwather so many years ago during my Darwin thing.
Perhaps, at some level, the whole thing was set up for 'failure' for some strange lesson. I don't know...but it is possible. I do believe in a powerful spiritual force that does guide us all...wether we are aware of It or not. I also feel at some level, call it Soul, we do choose experiences for learning.... and a lie can be just as good a teacher as a truth.
My two cents...
------------------------------------------------------------Message 357 of
1411
Reply Re: Another x-Eckist>
tuzahu(41/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
1/31/00 9:06 am
(You know...I just picked up on TuzaHu's age before I read it was already revealed...Now...did I just see something where evidently "norah" knows "rex"? Hmmmm...)
Yipes...You are so right!! I did not check my age and miss typed. I am 45 not 41 (sigh!). I got in Eckankar when I was in the 8th grade. A local neighbor introduced me to the teaching who knew Paul back in the old days with Kirpal Singh (Vandilla Walker) who, at the time was the higest initiate in Eck (a 7th at the time). Through Vandilla I got to spend a lot of time with Paul. Even got to talk to him on the phone when visiting her.
Another local Eckist also was very close to Paul, Mary Hald. She and I became such close friends. She used to own a printing company. On a number of occasions she would print up what would look like newspaper clippings of events about Paul. He would call or write her with a news brief and she would print it on her old printing press on newsprint so it looked like it was a clipping from a paper. She and I never considered the facts of the events wern't legitimate.
This was when I was a new Eckist in Ohio. I got in Eck in 1968 and can remember when Paul had a good deal of hair left!!!
Though I have had a lot of time to settle down over my Darwin days, the facts of Paul's early life, I have decided to hold on to the fine spiritual truths that ARE in the teachings of Eck.
Be responsible (even if the founders of the Path aren't!), Trust God (even if the founders of the Path don't), strive to be powerful in your life, be cause not effect, go into your silence and get your own answers (even if the founders of the Path won't).
It is all about YOU...not the "Master" or your peers or other members on this list. This is YOUR time on this planet. How much more energy are you going to spend being pissed at Eckankar?
You DID have an incredible opportunity to learn and grow...and to discover that NO MAN SHALL STAND IN YOUR PATH TO GOD. What a wonderful lesson to learn!!! Think of the zillions of people who HAVEN'T learnd that yet. Eckankar did have a compilation of truth...no matter who was the first to print it... It does not invalidate the core wisdom, just those who claim to be the author.
Don't spend any more energy being angry at Paul, Darwin or Harold...Paul is dead, Darwin...well, who knows where that guy is...and Harold doesn't care.
Warn others of your feelings about the Path if you choose, but get over the reactive anger that seems to be totally engulfing some lives of some of you. Remember what you DID learn in Eckankar.
Make your spiritual unfoldment, your happiness, your wisdom and inner peace be what people notice about you...not your anger and rage.
Believe me, I was there...very very pissed for YEARS.... then I discovered people would not listen to me...they stayed away. I recalled my memorys of being in Eck and waking up happy every day...and missed that. I discovered I could use my life to be an EXAMPLE, not a warning sigh. As time passed and some of my old Eck peers came asking me questions...my inner peace helped them make the decision to stay on the Path or follow another... my being angry would not have assisted.This is YOUR time on this planet...make it count.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message 360 of 1411
Reply Re: Another x-Eckist
tuzahu (45/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
1/31/00 5:56 pm part 2---
part two...I am making this very brief...
In a nut shell...I got some angry calls later from the Eck office...was told to quit Eckankar..I took some of the taped calls to Steiger who was getting upset...he had over 100 hours of taped interviews with Twitchell...including Paul's rambling thoughts about creating his history for In My Soul... I brought two friends along as we listened to these tapes with Steiger, Carmela Powell and Charlie Wallace...Soon the Eck office discovered Steiger had the tapes and demanded them from Brad.
I was offically kicked out of Eckankar in 1979 in a form letter with a stamped signature of Darwin for showing Steiger some issues of The Mystic World where Darwin was slamming Steiger over a new venture he was involved in.
Charlie was living with Hellen Frye in Sedona...who had already left Eckankar millions of $$ worth of property in Az. Darwin promised to build a spiritual site there and never to sell...as soon as Helen died Eckankar traded a lot of the property with the State of Az for acres in Tucson...which was sold for a big profit. Helen's other property was promised in a will to Darwin and to Eckankar..
Charlie presuaded Helen to write them both out of the will...which she did..after her death, Darwin and Eckankar demanded the estate worth millions of $$$...the original copy of the will leaving all to Darwin and Eck was missing and no other wills were in existance...Eck sued Helen's estate...I testified before the court that Helen was leaving Eck because of all the lies I had uncovered... Darwin testified an afternoon there, in Prescott, Az 1980...he could barely walk or talk.
Anyway...Eckankar lost the battle...the estate went to Helen's family instead...but Eck already had a lot of her property she gave them outright before her death. As we cleaned through Helen's things we discovered 9, $100,000. checks to Darwin personally she had written to him. Also, a written document between the two of them for half a million $ to be paid back to her, signed by she and Darwin.
There is lots more...fine details...members of Eck attempting to threaten Charlie and myself before the trial...one high profile Eckists offering Charlie $50,000 to lie in court so Eckankar could get Helen's property...(said Darwin asked him to call...we got that on tape and was played in court)...gosh..so much crap!!
It took me YEARS to get over my anger...not of just being lied to, but the coverups seemed to be more hurtful to me...
Luckily, time does heal. What ever happens with Darwin, BB, Mike Noe, Marlin Overson, Harold Ware and the others involved in this mess...who knows... I know this is MY time on this planet and I am not going to spend it harvesting anger from their lies. I definately decided no man shall ever stand before myself and God...ever.
Why did Paul do it? I honestly have no idea. From a 9 day visit with his first wife, Camille, his real history was so much more exciting than what he made up for In My Soul!! He must have had a reason. I don't know why the lie.
--------------------------------------------------
Message 362 of 1411
Reply Re: Another x-Eckist
tuzahu(45/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
1/31/00 9:39 pm
Who got the Steiger tapes?
(Did you write up anything on your 9 days with Camille? Whatever happened to Vandilla Walker and Mary Hald? Did Vandilla talk to you about Kirpal Singh? )
I looks like my first post of the day did not make it to Yahoo...I will have to rewrite it...telling about getting into Eck and the night Paul Twitchell died...I was there with him minutes before he died and shortly after his death and before the paramedics arrived. I was with Vandella when she told Gail Paul had died...so give me a day or so and I will rewrite that part. I see my 'part 2" made it though
I have written transcrips of my time with Paul's first wife at the time, someplace in storage, also have many hours of tape of interview with her.
Off the top of my head I can recall a few interesting things. She and Paul dated in Highschool. Paul was sterile...so they never had any children. This was good for Paul because he LOVED women and lots of them. He dated Hollywood starlett...Jinx Falkenberg and Semi- screen star Ruth Savage for a time while married to Camille. She put up a lot of his running around. In the late 40's and early 50's they lived in Washington DC. Paul had several affairs there with the Kirpal Singh group. Paul also was involved in the beginning of Scientology and wanted to teach Soul Travel but Ron L. would have nothing to do with it.
Paul was a promoter for a while with actor Jimmy Durante and baseball star Dizzy Dean...whom fired Paul after he absconded with some cash...at least Dizzy accused him of that...
Paul was a born promoter. His wife told me that Paul would attend county fairs and pay to have himself paged so people would hear his name. She gave me a post card Paul had made up in the early 1940's of a lavish mansion...printed on the front was "home of Paul Twitchell American Author" of course, Paul had never lived there.
Paul never traveled out of the USA except to go the the Canadian side of Niagara Falls...so he never did go to India..she read In My Soul and just laughted..."that's Paul," she would say!!!!
She finally had it out with Paul over Gail...she had put up with his womanizing for long enough. They were married just over 20 years. She said Paul's favorite phrase to say was, "Razamataz.." Kind of sounds like Rebazar Tarzs, huh???
Paul was practicing forms of Astral Projection, as it sounds from his early years according to her. He would sit for hours at the kitchen table staring into a flame from an oil lamp he had. He did that for years...hours on end. He later wrote and published a song that was recorded called "the Lamp'
According to her Paul had a deep spiritual side, he read the Bible almost every day for many years along with other spiritual books. His interest in out of the body movement was his main interest but little was written about it. He called it dreamwalking at the time. He wanted to control and teach it from the time they married.
---------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------
Message 372 of 1411
Reply Re: Another x-Eckist
tuzahu(45/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
2/2/00 5:36 am
(This is Anya? Or this person is saying that she was there with Anya?
Funny that Anya never mentioned this... >and the night Paul Twitchell died...I was there >with him minutes before he died and shortly >after his death and before the paramedics arrived. >I was with Vandella >when she told Gail Paul had died...
Who is Vandella? Patty Simpson wrote that she was the first person who contacted Gail by phone.
Patti Simpson was not there the night Paul Died. Vandilla Walker spent hours to finally locate Gail. I remember Vandilla making many phone calls until hours later she was speaking with Gail. I was next to Vandilla when she did reach Gail, who was 'in the mountains with Darwin Gross that night. I don't know what state that was...or where. Yes, Anya was in the room if not when Paul died immediately after.. The man from Pa that I mentioned I could not recall his name was Tom Flamma. he is the one that announced to the table that Paul had died. He was just that in tune.. with out missing a beat...he just made the statement. Paul had left the table 15-25 minutes before he stated that...again, I am estimating on the time, it was very shortly after Paul retired from the late meal that Tom announced his death.
Vandilla Walker was a personal friend of Paul's from the early 1950's and at the time, the higest initiate in Eckankar, a 7th in 1971. She lived in Cincinnati, Ohio and was hosting the reginal seminar Paul had attended.
------------------------------------------------
Message 374 of 1411
Reply Re: Another x-Eckist
tuzahu (45/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
2/2/00 8:43 am
Michael...read the posting I made on this. I was quoting Paul's first wife, whom divorced in
the early 1960's. The statement she made would be about the time she spent with Paul...not
what he did after their divorce. The reference was about Paul's travels to Paris and Tibet
which he never made. In my early days in Eckankar much of this information was circulating
then. The quotes from Path of the Masters, Kirpal, early Eck documents giving credit to Kirpal
rather than Rebazar. I heard the talk but it was not an issue with me at the time. I met Kirpal in
1972 in Columbus, Ohio when he made a tour in the States. From the manuscrips that were
obtained from the Twitchell family, Mattie and John, included a vintage copy of Tiger's Fang with
Kirpal being the master, not Rebazar. Last time I saw that manuscrip Ed Peacin (spelling?) had
it. This was also brought up in the court case of Eckankar vs estate of Helen Frye in Prescott, Az
in 1980. My lesson from all of this is just as my grandmother had told me as a kid, tell the
truth in the beginning and you won't spend your life covering it up. Paul DID have a
message. He definately had the knowledge and wisdom to teach a spiritual path. I truely believe
he was in tune with spirit. My time with Paul was impressive, I loved the man. He was kind, he
cared. Why he created his wild past in In My Soul...the writings he lifted, etc, I just can't say.
Maybe it has a purpose in the whole scheme of the teaching...maybe it is a way to separate the
true seekers and those wanting a path to follow for the heck of it. Paths do have potholes,
mountains, curves, puddles etc in them...if you travel ANY path expect to find some. Not trying to
make an excuse, I can't, I am not Paul. But, I knew him and I still believe he did what he
thought he needed to do. I just don't know why. Maybe "why" is not always necessary.
Maybe this experience was needed to make sure those who have trudged
through this part of their spiritual path to learn to make sure to be
honest, stand in your own power, stand up and tell the truth. Maybe THAT
is the lesson of Eckankar! Maybe it has nothing to do with masters, hu, Sugmad etc... Maybe
the
purpose is this. Become finely keen to make sure every word you say,
thought you think is true, pure and beneficial to the world. ---------------------------------------------
----------
Message 377 of 1411
>From "The Making of a Spiritual
Movement" by David C. Lane
> Brad Steiger, in a personal telephone conversation with the author
(1977), mentioned that all the files at the Eckankar office were
> open to him. Steiger also claimed that he had an assortment of
pictures of Paul Twitchell. Some of these pictures were supposedly taken
at various spots around the world, thus supporting Twitchell's
self-claimed travels. ---------------------------------- I say go with what ever makes sense to
you. I was not interviewing these
people for a book. I was trying to find out the truth for myself. Last
time I spoke with Steiger was about 1981. He did tell some other people
something differernt than he told Charlie Wallace, Carmela Powell and
myself in his home in Scottsdale, Az. At the time, Steiger and his wife
were really pushing a book series on being people from outerspace. I
*imagine* if it came out that he had not researched Twitchell or
admitted in public he helped create the Twitchell myth they may not buy
his space beings series. This is just MY idea, nothing in fact there.
Maybe ASK Steiger, I am not sure if he is still around or talking at all
but worth a shot. I was in his home in 1979 when I got my answers from
him myself. Maybe Mike Noe is around someplace. It was he that
threatened Steiger for the tapes of Pauls, Steiger told me that himself.
Marlin Overson had his sticky fingers in this mess too, and I heard
years ago he left Eckankar, maybe he has some insight. Look him up.
Ed Peacin (Peason..not sure of the spelling) was Paul's body guard in
the 1960's. He had the original manuscript for Tiger's Fang. Is he still
around? I am not trying to be the History archive here. I went through what many
of you are still going through...but I did not have the advantage of
Lane's book. I discovered it on my own and searched out my own answers.
I spent many years in anger. Not just for the lies but for the coverup
and anger from the Living Eck Master, Gross and his hinch men he set out
on those Eckists who asked questions.
Over the years the pain deminished and I was able to reclaim my life
again for myself. I may not know your hurt...but I know MY hurt...and I
can use that to understand how those who left Eckankar for the lies
feel. As for Paul being a user. I don't believe that. He was very very kind to
me. I was in the 8th grade when I first met him. He saw to it I was
included in local activitys and Seminar events. I think he saw a bit of
himself in me. I loved being around him and I watched him and mirrored
him as best I could. Paul Twitchell, God man, con man, liar, truth
giver, author, thief, husband, adulterer etc.... impacted my life and
the way I still see the world. I think of him often.
I learned alot from him. From this whole mess. Here a large spiritual
movement can not tell the truth...they still spend energy hiding up a
lie. I can stand in my own truth. Paul, in a way, taught me that. I
thank Paul, Eckankar, Darwin, BB, Mike, Marlin, Harold Ware and the
others that had a hand in all this for giving me a great opportunity to
grow and learn.
I choose to learn rather than be angry. I hope the rest of you can too.
Move on and have wonderful lives.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Message 379 of 1411
(So you were 16 years old when Paul translated? You were at a table when Tom announced it
and then you, and who else, went to his room to find
him still alive?) Anya has written that she had an inner nudge, went to and entered Paul's
room, saw him collapse and translate. You say that wasn't the case?
No, Tom announced that Paul had died before the whole table..not just to
me. Paul and Anya had left the table by then. Yes, I was 16 years old.
No, Paul was dead when I got to his room.
As for who called whom all morning, I don't know. I would imagine
Vandilla probably did call Patti, I don't know for sure, but she was on
the phone alot that early morning.
I never said Vandilla was the ONLY 7th initiate at the time. I know Pat
Yarborough was one also in our state at the time.
Speaking of POV...you, Cybersailor, are doing just as you accuse.
I have never seen Anya since then nor did I know she wrote anything
about that night. Rumors around Eckankar had it that Gail had Darwin
remove her from Eckankar after they married. I don't know this to be
true, but it was a popular rumor.
I wonder if Vandilla is still around? Mary & Charlie Hald? Any of the
Cincinnati group that also was involved that night? For those really
interested it might be worth looking them up and gettign their
viewpoint. Ruth Fink I know died not long after that. Flamma is gone
also. Patti Simpson was not there. The only time I knew of Patti in
Cincinnati, personally, was in 1973 after Darwin did the Phil Donahue
show and he had a seminar there. Not to say she was never there another
time, but that was the only time I saw her in Cinci --------------------------------------------------------
Message 386 of 1411
Apparently none of you knows the true circumstances surrounding
Twitchell's death. What a wonderful way to see the world. There is only ONE source for
information, only ONE viewpoint, only ONE way to see something...
Blinders...like what they used to put on horses so they would just look
straight ahead. That is what this comment reminds me of.
I would like to read the book or hear the tape of what Anya says happend
that night. I saw her and another woman clearing out the room. I did not
see Blooth or Pecen. I hung around for a few mintues then went to get
Vandella Walker.
About 1979 I was in Eddy Pecen's house talking about Eck and his history
with it all. Charlie Wallace and Carmela Powell were there also. Charlie
has the conversation(s) (he made several such taped conversations with
him) on tape. Of all the things Ed told us he never mentioned helping
Anya with Paul's body.
About 1980 or 1981 I was in Blooths home, again with Charlie Wallace.
Blooth was freely talking about Paul and their history together. Again,
Blooth never mentioned any such assistance with Anya and Paul's death
was discussed in detail. Again, Charlie has tapes of this.
Blooth and Pecen both lived in the Valley in Arizona. I don't know if
Pecen is still alive, he lived at the time around Apache Junction, Az.
Blooth was in Sun City.
Is Chet Tuttle still around? In the later 70's I met a man named Bob (I don't recall his last
name at
the moment). He was in his later 20's or into his 30's. He was a
"roommate" of Anyas and tells a totally different story he says she told
him of Paul's death. Again, this is his story. I know people that knew
him and they did know of he and Anya living together at the time. I
remember this Bob guy spoke Spanish and was an educator or translator
and later I heard he went to Mexico to teach children there. Any one
know who he is??? Anyone know of Charlie Wallace? I was in his kitchen when he
telephoned Gail about 1981 or 1982. At the time he had a ranch in California. He
and Gail had been friends in the past. Charlie was one of the few guests
invited to she and Darwin's wedding in Sedona.
I taped the conversation...Gail was helping her friend, Charlie, to come
to terms with Eckankar. She told him Paul made up the whole Eckankar
thing. I was there during the telephone conversation...find Charlie and
ask for the tape and hear it yourself.
Charlie has some other interesting tapes, one was played in court in the
Eck vs Helen Frye case. HI Paul Schoolcraft offered Charlie $50,000. to
lie in court to help Eckankar get Helen's estate from her family. Paul
states that Darwin told him to offer the cash to Charlie for this
favor.... Lordy, I learned one thing for sure, never to call a man "Master" again!
------------------------------------------------------------- From Sharon: Now....this rings quite true
for me. I don't quite know how it all fits in with another eyewitness account I got from
someone who
was with Anya that night, and went to Paul's room with Anya because she'd gotten a "nudge" to
go there. This person told me that Paul answered the door, looked at Anya and said "You came"
or something like that. Anya went into the room, and the person who told me this went back to
their room, and was awakened some time later with a phone call telling of Twitchell's death.
I have read supposedly other eyewitness accounts of this night, where people said that there
were something like sex toys & smut that had to be cleared out of the room. And I read accounts
that told of how Anya grieved, but since she didn't have any official status, well...she didn't get
much support in her time of mourning. And that's sad. I got in touch with Anya personally,
and just asked her straight out. I can understand that she felt a bit of hostility about me, but...I
believe in asking straightforward questions. She neither confirmed nor denied that they were
having an "affair". She sent me her poetry, and referred me to a few specific poems. She
loved him. She still loves him. She told me she stayed in Eckankar until after Harold took over,
and she was glad that she was able to retain the rights to her books after she left. I've heard that
her book "Deathing" is very good. However...I disagree that this book is any kind of great
milestone in the death process. Plenty of other stuff about "humane" death, and helping people
to make the transition. My daughter is in the nursing field, and deals with death almost every
day. Don't feel like typing a lot about it right now, but...it's no biggie. She told me that often it's
necessary to get the family out of the room, because they make it rough on the loved one, who
really wants to go, but the family holds on to them. Once, she told me she was very privileged to
watch a Catholic nun take a patient through death, and it was beautiful. I was around 13 when I
saw my first human death -- an old woman in a hospital. Late at night, I returned to the room,
and saw something was happening. I went over to her...and thought I should call a nurse. She
looked at me...and I knew I shouldn't. So I just stayed there with her. It was, well...peaceful.
There was a strange light around us. Sorry...I'm rambling. Anyway, there are many
possibilities. Hate to admit it, but a little part of me is a romantic, and I honestly hope that before
his death, Twitchell found that true love that he so desperately sought throughout his life. Anya
still loves him, and I *do* respect love. But...she said that a few weeks after Twitch's death, she
had a vision of her new master, who she later learned was Sai Baba, and this is who she went to
when she left eckankar. Sort of creepy...I hope her kids were grown by that time so they weren't
exposed to this perv. In fact, she said it was good that she didn't know it was Sai Baba for so
long because of her children, and she might have taken off for India when they were still small.
Anyway...I guess I should dig her letters out of whatever "to be filed" box they're in to be entirely
accurate.
But I couldn't help wonder, why she was so traumatized by Twitch's death, if she truly believed
as I do, that death isn't any biggie, just rebirth into another world. Oh, I *do* understand that we
miss the people we loved, but sorry, while I miss them, I also feel great joy inside knowing they're
in a truly beautiful place, and we're all together soon again anyway.
I liked her poetry. ...........................
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Reply Re: The Real History
tuzahu (45/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
2/2/00 11:19 am
Reply Re: Another x-Eckist
tuzahu (45/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
2/2/00 6:01 pm
Reply Re: Another x-Eckist
tuzahu (45/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
2/4/00 10:43 am
Sharon
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