Q: How can you tell if
a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What does a
blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What do you
say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do Blondes
say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all
in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all
play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q: How do you make
a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight
in their ear.
Q: What does a
screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang
it the looser it gets.
Q: What does a
blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty
from the neck up.
Q: What do blonds
and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle
when you eat them.
Q: Why was the
blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend
was blonde too.
Q: How do you get
a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave
Q: What do peroxide
blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black
roots.
Q: What does a
blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you
call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.
Q: What do you
get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Q: What's the Blonde's
cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm
blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: Why did the
blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on
the other side.
Q: Why did the
blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave
blow-jobs literally.
Q: Why did the
blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she
gave her last blowjob.
Q: Why do blondes
give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what
they train for all their lives.
Q: Why did the
blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would
get delivered to the right box.
Q: Why did the
blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across
the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the
blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks
the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the
blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake
up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the
deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip
read.
Q: Why did God
create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't
bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create
brunettes?
A: Neither could the
blondes.
Q: Why did the
blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get
Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the
blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker
off.
Q: Why did the
blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on
the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why didn't the
blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried
her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Q: Why did the
blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling
out.
Q: Why did the
blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box
it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How do you confuse
a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize
a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before
E or does it go between M and W?"
Q: Why did the
blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know
how to cook food stamps!
Q: What is the
blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).
Q: What is blond,
brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.
Q: What is the
connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed
on the front of a Ford Escort.
Q: Did you hear
about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: Did you hear
about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both
times!
Q: How do you know
when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: What do a blonde
and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do
is scratch the box to win.
Q: What is the
difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair
spray
Q: What's the quickest
way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off
the floor.
Q: Where do blondes
go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
Q: How many blondes
does it take to play tag?
A: One.
Q: What do you
call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin
Q: Why don't they
let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't
get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: What happened
to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and
fell down the drain.
Q: What is the
irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting
their turn.
Q: What did the
blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been
swung around by the tits.'
Q: What did the
blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the
blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What's a blonds'
favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Whats black
and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.
Q: Why are dumb
blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can
remember them.
Q: Why are blondes
like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple,
easy and they taste good.
Q: Why can't blondes
put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking
them with the hammers.
Q: What is a cool
refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
Q: Did you hear
about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap,
chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: When is it legal
to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire
pump to reinflate it!
Q: What is a blonde's
favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
Q: Why was the
blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an
F in sex.
Q: Did you here
about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: Why can't blondes
be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their
calves together!
Q: When does a
brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Q: What's a blonde's
favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: What did the
blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's
cute. What did you name the other one ?"
Q: What goes VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through
a flashing red light.
Q: Why are there
lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows
the horn!
Q: Why is a blonde
like a door knob?
A: Because everybody
gets a turn.
Q: Why is a blonde
like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been
laid all over the country.
Q: Did you hear
about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs
with men!
Q: What does a
blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her
purse and goes home.
Q: To a blonde,
what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
Q: What is the
definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
Q: Why is 68 the
maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they
blow a rod...
Q: What is the
difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't
fart when you pull your meat out of it.
Q: Did you hear
about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at
a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see
"Closed for the Winter".
Q: What is the
definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde
nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
Q: Why is a blonde
like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when
they're fucked.
Q: How would a
blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period
fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!
Q: Why is the blonde's
brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
Q: A blonde is
walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who
asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I
won her in a raffle!"
Q: A blonde ordered
a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could
never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What's a blonde's
idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Q: Why did the
blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time
the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Q: What did the
blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
Q: What's five
miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.
Q: Why is it okay
for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to
worry about blowing their brains out.
Q: Did you hear
about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips
on the tailpipe.