1.     Dogs don't cry
2.     Dogs love it when your friends come over
3.     Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
4.     Dogs think you sing great
5.     A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink
6.     Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late
7.     The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you
8.     Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
9.     Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
10.   Dogs are excited by rough play
11.   Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
12.   Dogs understand that farts are funny
13.   Dogs love red meat
14.   Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
15.   Anyone can get a good looking dog
16.   If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
17.   Dogs don't shop
18.   Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
19.   A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
20.   Dogs never need to examine the relationship
21.   A dog's parents never visit
22.   Dogs like beer
23.   Dogs love long car trips
24.   Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
25.   Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted
26.   When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it
27.   Dogs will actually wear that studded leather collar you bought them last year