Politically correct usage when talking to/about females

She does not:
Get PMS
She becomes:
Hormonally homicidal

She does not have:
A killer body
She is:
Terminally attractive

She is not:
A bad cook
She is:
Microwave compatible

She is not:
A bad driver
She is:
Automotively challenged

She is not a:
Perfect 10
She is:
Numerically superior

She is not:
Easy
She is:
Horizontally accessible

She does not:
Hate sports on TV
She is:
Athletically biased

She does not have:
Sexy lips
She is:
Collagen dependent

She does not get:
Drunk
She is:
Accidentally over-served

You do not ask her:
To dance
You request a:
Pre-coital rhythmic experience

She is not:
A gossip
She is a:
Verbal terminator

She does not:
Work out too much
She is an:
Abdominal overachiever

She does not have:
A great butt
She is:
Gluteus to the maximus

She is not:
Hooked on soap operas
She is:
Melodramatically fixated

She is not:
Cold or frigid
She is:
Thermally incompatible

She does not:
Wear too much make-up
She is:
Cosmetically oversaturated

She does not have:
Great cleavage (A great rack)
Her breasts are:
Centrally located

She will never:
Gain weight
She will become:
A metabolic underachiever

She is not:
A screamer or moaner
She is:
Vocally appreciative

She does not:
Shave her legs
She experiences:
Temporary stubble reduction

She does not have:
A hard body
She is:
Anatomically inflexible

She does not:
Sun bathe
She experiences:
Solar enhancement

Her breast will never:
Sag
They will:
Lose their vertical hold

She does not:
Shop too much
She is:
Overly susceptible to marketing ploys

She does not:
Cut you off
She becomes:
Horizontally inaccessible

She does not have:
Big hair
She is:
Overly aerosoled

She does not:
Snore
She is:
Nasally repetitive

She does not:
Get drunk
She becomes:
Verbally dyslexic

She does not have:
Big hooters
Her:
Cups runneth over

She is not:
Too skinny
She is:
Skeletally prominent