Some
This Page Is Dedicated To The Memory
Tony
Rest In Peace, Champ
Softly from the shadow
God saw that you were troubled
Suicide
...is a permanent solution
Tony was my best mate. He had just finished his University degree. He had just started full-time employment. So, why did he commit suicide? I know the reasons why, but I still don't understand...and I probably never will. I lived with Tony before his death, witnessed his spiralling descent into depression. Many a night was spent talking through his problems with him. On two occasions, I witnessed his feeble attempts to end his life. After his death, I felt so many different emotions.....sadness, anger, frustration, guilt. Sadness : for losing a good friend, Anger : at him for making me feel this way, Frustration : because the help I tried to give wasn't enough to save him, Guilt : because I wasn't there for him at the end. I've since been told that these are all normal emotions that family, and friends of suicide victims,experience. The frustration and the guilt were the two emotions that were hardest to cope with. They gnawed at my conscience until I felt I couldn't go on. If it wasn't for the help of an understanding Doctor, family, and friends, I believe that I would not be sitting here today. I know I'm not the only person in the World to experience suicide firsthand, but I'd like to try to do something to put an end to it!
If anyone out there is experiencing depression, and feel like you can't go on, please remember this.....you're not crazy, and you're certainly not alone. If you can't talk to your family, or friends, please confide in somebody. All you need is a helping hand....and that hand is there, waiting for you to reach out and grab!
If anyone out there has had a friend, or relative commit suicide, you'll understand the emotions I felt. They will ease, I promise.
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Just A Short Note
My only aim in writing this page, was, firstly, to relieve myself of the guilt and frustration I have felt for the past two years, and secondly, to let other people, in similar circumstances as mine, know that they are not alone, and that there are people to turn to if needed. I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has visited my site, signed my guestbook, and sent me e-mails. The feedback has been tremendous, and I can only hope that someone out there has benefitted from reading my story. If that is the case, my goal has been achieved.
Thank You.
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This Page Was Created : 20 March, 1999
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