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MICKI'S HUMOR PAGE 3
Humor Index

{AutomobileAcronyms} { Friendship} { Are You Normal?}

Are You Normal? (Very Peculiar Statistics)

AROUND THE HOUSE
* 21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
* Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
* 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.

HABITS
* 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.
* 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
* 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theatres to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
* 39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet. * 17% have been caught by the host.
* 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip his pants.
* 29% of us ignore RSVP.
* 35% give to charity at least once a month.
* 71.6% of us eavesdrop.

FOOD
* 69% eat the cake before the frosting.
* When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
* Snickers is the most popular candy.
* 22% of us skip lunch daily.
* 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
* 66% of us eat cereal regularly.
* 22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.
* 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.

HYGIENE
* 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
* Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
* Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women colour their hair.
* 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
* 58% of women paint their nails regularly.
* 33% of women lie about their weight.
* 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
* 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
* 23.5% admit they don't always flush.
* 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they've used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up.

DRIVING
* 4 out of 5 sing in the car.
* 12% of men never use their car blinkers.
* 45% of us consistently follow the speed limit. (This is hard to believe. Get on a highway and go the exact speed limit. Are 45% of the people not passing you? I doubt it)
* 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.
* 1/3 of us don't wear seat belts.
* 71% can drive a stick shift car.
* 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.

WHAT WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING
* 13% of us admit to occasionally doing our offspring's homework.
* 91% of us lie regularly.
* 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.

RELIGION
* 90% believe in divine retribution.
* 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
* 82% believe in an afterlife.
* 45% believe in ghosts.
* 10% of us claim to have seen a ghost. (Not Counting Casper)
* 49% believe in ESP.

DAILY LIVING
* 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.
* 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
* 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men).
* 59% of us say we're average looking.
* Less than 10% are trilingual.
* 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
* 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
* 44% reuse tinfoil.
* 57% save pretty gift paper to reuse.
* 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch.
* 53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.
* 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
* On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
* 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.

LOVE
* 2 out of 5 have married their first love.
* Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand.
* 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
* 6% propose over the phone. (Guys get a clue!) (And what percent said yes?)
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A Test For Men
Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. Knowing this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching their own lives.