"Oh man, that was an awesome show!" Zac grinned as he and Isaac high-fived each other.
Isaac grinned,"That crowd had a lot of energy. They were so amazing. Don't you think, Tay?" he asked turning to look for his other brother.
Taylor pulled away the white towel that was wiping the sweat off of his brow. He smiled,"The best crowd yet." he agreed.
Zac jumped up and punched his fist in the air,"I am so pumped now!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
Taylor tossed his sweaty towel at Zac's head,"Yeah? Well mellow a bit, Prozac." he reprimanded.
Zac gave him a toothy grin as he threw the towel back at him.
They all laughed and carried on as they made it onto their tour bus. Isaac and Zac were unwinding by continuing a lasting video game challenge. Taylor silently slipped away to his quiet bunk. He layed down and pulled the partition shut, closing himself off from the rest of the world. Or at least the rest of the bus.
Sometimes, he didn't know how he did it. He shook his head and flipped his tiny light on. He reached under his pillow and felt his hand grasp the familiar silver picture frame. He pulled it in front of him and stared into her eyes.
As he stared at her gleaming eyes, rosy cheeks and bright smile, he relaized that they hadn't been gone as long as it seemed. She was gone, though. Gone forever.
His eyes moved over to his own figure. His face was behind a few wisps of her blonde hair. His arms around her and his cheek pressed on hers. He frowned when he realized that his eyes didn't shine like that anymore. That smile didn't come so easily either. He shook his head again. Sometimes, he didn't know how he did it.
Erica searched Taylor's eyes. Looking for any shred of hope in them. There was only fear, his eyes reflecting her fear. "Do you feel it Tay?" she asked.
Taylor stared into Erica's eyes,"Feel what?" he asked her.
She coughed again, spurting more blood out. He watched her wince in pain and she closed her eyes.
"Feel what?" he asked louder.
The emergency room door opened and a bunch of doctors and nurses grabbed at Erica and yanked her hand off of Taylor's shirt. They pulled her onto a strecther.
Taylor climbed out of the car and ran along side of the stretcher,"Erica! Feel what?" he yelled.
Snap!
Erica's eyes fluttered open and she stared at the paint chipped ceiling. Her chest heaved, she had a light sweat glistening her forehead and her eyes were slightly wet.
"How do you feel?" a woman's steady voice asked.
Erica turned her head and stared at her psychiatrist, Ms. Jacobs. She tried to let her body sink into the hard leather couch. She wrinkled her brow,"Confused...lonely." she answered.
Ms. Jacobs nodded, keeping her tight-lipped, serious face on the entire time that she scribbled a few notes. She looked up and turned the corners of her mouth up slightly,"We're definately making progress, Erica."
Erica turned to examine the ceiling again. Progress? She didn't think that anything was progressing. Nothing was fixed. Nothing was resolved. Her memories before her suicide attempt were all so fuzzy. A week of sessions on that couch told her that she was blocking a painful memory. After they got that far, progress stopped.
Ms. Jacobs rose from her seat that was facing the couch and walked to her desk. She pulled out her prescription pad and clicked the top of her ballpoint pen,"I'm upping the dosage of your anti-depressants, Erica." she informed her.
Erica sat up on the couch in an effort to compose herself,"Do you really think that it's necessary?" she asked unsurly.
Ms. Jacobs nodded as she handed the slip of paper to Erica,"We are approaching an emotional crossroad with you right now. I just feel more confident about this when I know that you are emotionally prepared for the stones that are still unturned."
Erica nodded knowingly and slipped the prescription into her handbag. She sighed. More drugs. Artificial happiness. This is all that this lady has done for me. she thought.
Ms. Jacobs ushered her towards the door,"I would like to have a few moments with your parents before you leave."
Erica nodded and trudged towards the waiting room to fetch her mother and father.
Isaac awoke when he heard what sounded like a whimper coming from Taylor's bunk. He knew that it was Taylor's bunk, having gone through this process many times before.
He slid quietly out of his bunk and pulled open the partition that hid Taylor behind it.
Taylor quickly shoved his face in his pillow as he tried to hide his tears of pain. His chest heaved,"Go away, Ike." he muttered.
Isaac grabbed his brother's arm and yanked him from his bunk. And without a word exchanged, he hugged him.
Taylor's face crumpled as he hugged Isaac back,"I miss her so much, Isaac."
"I know, Tay." Isaac comforted him.
Taylor pushed his brother away angrily,"You don't know!" he whispered harshly,"I watched her breathe for the last time by herself. I sat, soaked with her blood, in the emergency room. I held her cold and clammy hand and stared at her lifeless body everyday. And I waited. I hoped and I prayed that she would breathe again. I said I loved her and," his voice cracked,"and she couldn't say it back. You don't know." he dropped his face in his hands,"I don't even know."
Isaac stood speechless after his brother's display of emotion. There was nothing left to say after that.
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