You are now entering Tulsa. Please enjoy your visit. Taylor read the sign through a half-opened eye because he was pretending to be sleeping. Entering? he thought, It's like I just left. In fact, it's like I never left.
Isaac let out a deep sigh as they crossed into Tulsa. That sigh had mixed emotion within it. Part of him felt content at being home with familiar faces and surroundings. The other part of him was buried deep within. The part that lied toTaylor and ran from Tulsa and his problems without so much as a glance over his shoulder. Overall, he felt miserable, about everything.
Zac would have liked to believe that he was being hurt the most. After both Stacie and Erica dying as they had, it seemed as if Kerri had dropped off the face of the Earth. She had been shipped off to a private school, almost immediately after Erica landed in the hospital. Not her choice, but the choice of overbearing parents concerned with the well-being of their daughter given the current events. Zac kept hope alive by writing to her during the tour, never recieving a letter back because he had no permanent address. It wasn't the same though, and it would never be the same. We will never be the same, he thought.
Before any of them had a chance to prepare for anything, they were seemingly thrust back into their reality as Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson. Three boringly normal boys next door who have problems just like everyone else. Who have to take out the garbage and clean up after themselves just like everyone else. Who have experienced hurt and heartache... just like everyone else.
"Everybody up! We're here!" Walker announced as he put the van into park.
Taylor's eyelids fluttered open and he manifested a yawn. Isaac pulled the van door and stepped hesitantly onto the driveway. Zac stumbled out and squinted his eyes at the harsh sun. He groaned and quickly threw a pair of black sunglasses on his face. Taylor sat for a moment before reaching down to clutch a tattered shoebox in his hands.
"What's in the box?" Isaac asked as he peered into the van.
Taylor's head shot up,"Souviniers." he lied quickly before throwing it into his open knapsack at his feet.
Taylor rummaged through his shoebox in the privacy of his bedroom. He removed Erica's suicide letter and her journal of poems. He quickly flipped the pages past his face and inhaled the faint smell of strawberry hand lotion. He grabbed a couple of loose pictures and shards of papers. He shuffled through them quickly, her smiling face faintly registering in his head. He pulled out a few straggling items, a pair of movie tickets, rose petals that had died, dried, been pressed and wrapped lovingly witihin a pink ribbon. All of these things were items he had studied many times before. His fingertips found reassurance from them, from his memories of her, good or bad. They all fit into that little box. He removed an old pack of cigarettes. The ones he had taken from her when he had caught her smoking.
He was hurt, frustrated, upset and angry all at the same time. He walked into the bathroom. She followed him in there. He pulled up the lid of the toilet, pulled a cigarette out of the pack, broke it and threw it in. "It's for your own good." he told her.
Taylor then reached into his pocket and pulled out a stick of gum, he placed it in her free hand,"We'll go through this together, just like every other problem, it's me and you okay?"
He gingerly took the lit cigarette from her hand and held it in front of her,"You don't want this to comsume your life, Erica. You know what you're doing to yourself." he informed her as he dropped it to the floor of the balcony and stepped on it.
He shook his head at his own words,"So simple then, wasn't it Tay?" he whispered to himself, "You thought you were such hot shit, didn't you?"
Zac burst into the room unnannounced,"Hey Tay..." he paused as he watched Taylor hurridly shuffle papers and pictures into a shoebox, "What cha doin?"
"Nothing! Geez, can't I have a moment of peace? Just one fucking moment?" he blew up in red-faced anger.
Zac looked taken aback for a moment,"Sorry man, but Jeff is downstairs to see us. All of us, including you! Becuase you are his best friend."
Jeff. Taylor hadn't had any contact with Jeff in what seemed like ages. He wished he felt up to going downstairs to chat with Jeff about old times but he couldn't bring himself to make that wish a reality. "Tell him, uh," Taylor dropped his head in his hands and rubbed his face for a moment, "tell him that I'll talk to him tomorow. I don't feel like seeing anyone right now, Zac. It just hasn't hit me that we're really home yet."
"Well, what are you going to do during the party in a half an hour?" Zac asked confused. He was positive that his parents wouldn't allow Taylor to stay holed up in his room all night.
Taylor flopped backwards on the bunk and sighed,"Shit, I forgot about that. Alright, give me a half an hour of peace and then call me when things get moving."
Erica sat in her room, high off her ass and cluthcing her "ghetto bong". It was made out of a plastic bottle, which had now yellowed from the smoke, tin foil and a pen. She threw the ashes in her garbage can and hid her bong on the top shelf of her closet. She paused as she walked past the mirror in her room and stared into her own bloodshot eyes. Woah, the power of Kind Bud. I hope no one notices, she thought to herself. She started to laugh at the stupid expression on her face and began to fluff her hair around.
"Cause she's so hi-i-igh, high above me..." she started singing off key and dancing around her room. She tripped over her own foot and landed face down on her bed. Her phone began to ring. She quickly battled her comforter to sit up and act slightly normal. She cleared her throat.
"Hello?" she asked picking up the phone.
"Erica?" a semi-familiar voice asked.
Erica tried to clear her head,"Um, y-yes. Who's this?"
A sigh,"Jeff."
Erica giggled, losing her control,"Jeff? As in Jeff that used to hang out with thee one and only Jordan Taylor Hanson, that frigging lucky bastard?"
"You're high again, aren't you Erica?" he asked with disapproval clearly in his voice.
She laughed,"Noooo."
"I'm coming over right now." he told her.
"Ooh, promise hon?" she growled sexily before bursting into giggles.
A dial tone.
"Eew!" she laughed hanging up the phone,"he needs to hit the bong. Relieve some stress." she mumbled as she flopped backwards onto her bed.
The doorbell rang as her head hit her sheets. Erica paused for a moment, there was no way that that was Jeff already, right? She heaved herself up and bounded down the stairs as the doorbell rang again,"Chillax!" she yelled as she hastily turned the doorknob and flung the door open.
"Chillax?" Jeff asked, his eyebrows raised.
Erica giggled,"Yeah, it's like a combination of chill and relax. Ya know, chillax?" she tried to explain.
Jeff bit his lip and nodded,"Hmm, ya, okay, I still don't get it."
She rolled her eyes playfully,"So, what do you want Jeff?" she leaned seductively on the doorframe.
He averted his eyes from her brazen stare and scratched the back of his neck,"Um, do you wanna get ready to go to a party?" he asked cautiously.
She twirled a piece of her hair,"A party, huh?" she contemplated quickly before smiling,"I can't believe you're asking me out somewhere. You do know that I have a boyfriend, don't you?" she asked curiously, feeling slightly light-headed.
"A boyfriend?" Jeff asked in confusion as he shuffled his feet on the doorstep,"Who?"
"Oh, just this boy, Rudy. He's no one too special. He just happens to be captain of the football team, the best wrestler in the school, and hot as hell. But, he's just a boy, ya know? No one special, like I said." she paused before smirking, "It's pretty cool to be the cheerleader dating the captain of the football team, ya know? Especially in that piece of crap private school."
Jeff stared at her slack-jawed. Erica seemed so much different for some reason. She wasn't joking around like her old goofy self. And a boyfriend? What happened to Taylor, the so-called love of her life? He didn't fall off the face of the Earth, and he was back now! That's what sucked even more! He was planning on taking Erica to this party to see Taylor and fall in love with him again, but she has a boyfriend? Who arranged their lives so haphazardly?
"But, a party huh?" she asked again, standing up right and digging her hands into her back pockets, scrutinizing him,"Sure, I'd love to go. Where is it?"
"Woah, look who broke out the fancy clothes tonight!" Isaac laughed as strolled upon Taylor in their bedroom, laying on his bed in a pair of adidas pants and a paint stained t-shirt.
Taylor looked down at his attire and made a face, "What's wrong with this? No one cares what I look like, I'm entitled to be comfortable aren't I? Or have I lost that too?"
Ike shook his head and kept his grin plastered to his face,"You're right Tay, you are entitled to be comfortable. But couldn't you be comfortable in, oh I don't know, something that doesn't make you look like you've been recently swimming in our toilet."
"What do you want from my life, Ike?" Taylor whined covering his face with his hands and curling his toes up underneath his feet.
Isaac rolled his eyes and threw a pair of baggy black jeans, a white guinea tee and a button down black shirt at Taylor,"Put this on, Tay. Look, it's an actual outfit, made from cloth."
Taylor grabbed the clothes within a tightly clenched fist and sat up, "Fine Ike, if this will make you shut-up, then I will change my clothes."
"Well, it won't make me shut-up, but it would be nice." he grinned broadly as he plopped down in the boys' desk chair.
Taylor rose to his feet and stared at Ike,"Are you gonna change too?" he asked, an evil smile spreading across his face.
"Why should I?" Ike asked, kicking at a pair of boxer shorts with the toe of his shoe.
Taylor shrugged,"Oh nothing, nothing. I mean, there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are wearing."
Isaac glanced down at his sweater and khaki's,"Do I look bad?" he asked self-consciously.
Taylor shook his head as he headed for the bathroom to change and get ready, "No, it's just that," he paused in the doorway and shrugged again,"well, nevermind." he finished leaving the room.
"Taylor's house?!" Erica shrieked again, throwing a pillow at Jeff, "You were going to bring me there?"
"Why not? He used to be your boyfriend and your best friend, don't you want to see him?" he asked, deflecting the pillow with his arm.
"No! I thought you were asking me out! As a me and you sort of thing!" she yelled back, glancing around for something else to throw.
"Why would I ever, in a million light years, ask you out? I could never do that to Taylor, he loves you!" he yelled at her, as if her thinking that was beyond absurd.
She shook her head and flopped on the couch,"Maybe he once did, but you, you used to have a crush on me. So don't even try to play it off, I know you did. I know, because you're Jeff. You're just Jeff."
"So what, you're Erica." he said lowering his voice and plopping down next to her.
"Yeah...and?" she asked confused.
He sighed, "And you're Taylor's, so go get dressed for the party."
Her high was totally killed now, and she glared at him, "Who gives a fuck? I never belonged to him! And he's not here now is he? Is he?" she demanded.
"I give a fuck!" he raised his voice and leapt back to his feet,"This," he said motioning to himself and her, "would be wrong, we would be wrong! And you fucking know it!"
"He doesn't care! He never called, wrote, nothing! Not even one thing to show he cared! I guess it's just one of those out of sight, out of mind things, huh?" she tried to sound angry but it came across as hurt.
Jeff sat next to her again,"That's because he thought you were dead, he still does!" he insisted.
"Bullshit!" she said as tears welled up in her eyes and she sniffed to hold them back.
Jeff put his arm around her shoulders and guided her head into the crook of his neck,"I swear on my life, Erica. He is across that street right now. Holed up in his room, barely talking and hardly moving because his world ended when he thought you died."
She inhaled Jeff's Abercrombie and Fitch cologne, Not CKbe, like Taylor wore, "He doesn't care." she swallowed hard.
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