You Might Be A Press Gang Fan If......
Steve Darlington wrote:You Might be a press Gang fan if... (Which started the ball rolling!)
You buy your girlfriend a nurse's uniform for Christmas....
Your idea of a personal protection item is a teddy bear....
You like dancing without music...
You like things, but not very much...
You think it is funny to kick footballs past your own goalie...
You eat to win...
You have told anyone your name is N.V. Gillespie...
You speak in anagrams...
You have regular conversations with fictional characters, or your alter ego is married to Sarah Jackson. (Writers have that privilege) - Kevin
You see nothing wrong with keeping a sleeping bag at the office of a kid's newspaper
(only applies to those living outside the US) You've ever faked an American accent to try to impress women
You've ever tried to sell Britain
You've ever got a call where noone talks and spent the next day certain you were marked for death
Bunnies have ever been named after you and a significant other
You've ever tried one of Dr. Cool's "therapeutic silences"
You've ever talked to an artificial cat
You date boys with big lips.
You think polka-dot mini-skirts are fashionable.
You saw 'Nil By Mouth' for Charlie Creed Miles.(Danny)
You date more boys with big lips.
You've spent the day online looking for the mystery writer
You've ever hoped to have a teacher who collected butterflies
You've ever had to drug birds in order to get rid of them
You've ever caused a flood in a restaurant
You've ever threaten to burn your co-workers families
You've ever gone out with someone dating Clark Kent
You've ever been trapped in as bunny suit at a funeral
You actually though haemoglobin was a star sign
When you've got time to kill you jot down the complete scripts... from memory.
You pose to be the official pin-up at your local prison.
You've actually used Kevin's "9 ways to become a PG fan" on a few of your disbelieving friends.(Note: Anyone who has a copy of Kev's Nine Ways, it would be much appreciated if you could send it to me!)
You and your sister recite the "Jasper St" sequence like young Kenny and Lynda every birthday time("It's my birthday today...") with increasing levels of slurredness and noisiness as the day
progresses.
You have rows of pg tapes labelled "touch and die" - and you mean it.
You go into fits of hysterical laughter when you hear Otis Redding whistling "On the dock of the bay"
You lose the plot of "The Bill" or "Pie in the Sky" because you're pg cast spotting
You've thrown a walkman at someone you love
You pick pockets while making out with someone you love
You deliberately pick the worst combination of clothes in your closet to wear, or
You choose your clothes in the dark
You write stories for a paper on rolls of toilet paper
You have spent an hour on the phone talking to a wrong number
You've dressed up as a Viking or a pink rabbit for an important career interview
You have used any line of Spike's to chat someone up
You can light candles or streetlamps magically.
You hiccup at strange moments
You schedule every free moment of your life
You feel the need to crawl under a desk to cry.
You handcuff people and walk away laughing.
There's a defective half ping-pong ball hanging from each of your earlobes
You refuse to acknowledge Tuesday as a day of the week
You've managed to make that bottle of milk in the fridge *really* last
You get your parents to take a photo of you in Corfu, not for the scenery but because there is a big poster of Dexter in Caravaggio, which you are standing next to.
The characters in your English essays when you were younger were always called either Lynda, Julia, Kenny or Sarah. And your teacher spotted the link.
(Note: Does this mean the teacher is a PG fan too? - Aileen)
You try to find out which university Sarah left to go to - so you could follow her.
You look up Norbridge on the map..... just to make sure.
The first word you say upon waking up is "Damn"
The word "Damn" is always closely followed by
"Magazine".
You think the Russian Czar works in a
restaurant
You have ever asked how many z's there are
in Xerox.(If either one of the last two of these are true, you may graduate from school...someday - Kevin)
You think 6 is a strange number (Lynda’s new telephone)
You've tried Spike's kissing technique to see if it works
You hang from light fixtures to see if you'll grow taller
You bother your friends with metaphysical
dilemmas (A Chance is a Fine Thing)
You use a police scanner to keep track of
your dating partner
You've dated three guys in one night on the
Sam plan
You have tried to flirt with someone by sitting on their desk and flattering them.
You considered cutting a hole in the roof to create a skylight so you could preserve your perfect tan.
You make your boyfriend date his best friend just because the post it notes have slipped down on your roster board.
Your only method of disguise is to take your sunglasses off.
You can only express things in terms of money.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend 's voice tinkles like .. loose change.
You were so desperate on friday to make sure you got There Are Crocodiles on tape you had two vcr's and your video camera taping it.
You get pay tv just to get pg
You carry around your video camera and tapes of pg so you can watch it any where
You use Lynda and Spike's greeting to each other from Head and Heart as an alarm to wake you up in the morning.
And you use other sounds for other reminders.
You understand things but seem to be always behind everyone else.
You have three complete, or close to complete, sets of pg videos just in case one stuffs up
You install a secret exit in your room/office just in case you get in to trouble.
You believe Frazz’s horoscopes
You go looking around london for pg outside locations
You sleep upside down hanging from the roof
You do many major scenes of you life in your pyjamas.
You use any dialogue from pg in general conversation
You join the pg mailing list
You join your school newspaper just so you can be Kenny, Spike, Julie or Lynda or whoever your favourite character is.
You start your own business and call it C.M. Enterprises
You have red curtains in your room and a red phone
You need arrows to tell you how to use a mobile phone or computer
You have a favourite number of 2 345
You choose a favourite number of less than 23 45 just in case you get caught in an air tight vault.
When you get angry you throw ashtrays
When you get in trouble you think of what spike would do.
The words "experimental soft drink" make you think of Colin.
You've ever fantasized about stealing a loved one's passport.
You've cracked up laughing at the idea of someone losing 3 pets within a
minute....but you don't think this means you're a psycho.
You have .wav files of all of Lynda’s insults and play them to simulate you into feeling you're a part of the news team
And for Aussie fans:
-You suffered weekend withdrawal symptoms when it was shown 5 days a week.
-The 5:30 pm timeslot is forever etched in your mind
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