Buck refused to listen to the doctor, who just wanted him to stay in bed come morning and rest. He said they were both too exhausted, but Buck would have none of it. He had to be with his wife and their son. New hope welled up in him when he thought of what a wonderful reason Kate now had to get over their daughter's death, and maybe if he was lucky she wouldn't be mad with him. But somewhere in his heart he knew she most likely still was. Their daughter would have lived if it hadn't been for him. He killed her.

He was helped to her door, but the doctor left him there, saying if he could walk the paces up to her bed on his own he could stay with her for a few minutes. Buck didn't miss the sarcasm in his voice when he said it. And worse yet, Buck knew the doctor was right. His leg was awfully sore and throbbed feverishly when he moved. But he had to be with her. One more time. He struggled with aggressiveness toward the cot where she lay paler than ever before, seemingly resting but not asleep. She looked up when she realized it wasn't the doctor or his wife.

"Buck...!" she said slightly stunned.

"Hi," he whispered back, leaning against the foot end of the bed. He was sweating from strain but still he wasn't by her side. Two more steps.

Kate watched him struggle to her side, his every breath ragged and heavy from pain. But he didn't give up until he was sitting wearily on the cot beside her.

His eyes fell on the sleeping child in her arms. He watched his son breathe softly in his sleep and the world stopped turning for a minute. His body was paralyzed and there was no pain while he watched the child in his wife's arms. He looked so small and fragile. Kate broke his thoughts.

"How are you?" she asked.

"How are you?" Buck asked back once he had snapped his eyes back to her face.

"I asked first," Kate smiled cautiously and Buck felt a warm feeling spread through his body when he saw it. How he had missed that smile.

"I'm so tired," Buck started. "These last twenty-four hours have been the worst nightmare of my life." Kate nodded and lifted a shaky hand to his sweat damp face.

"I know. I feel all empty inside. Like I died too," she whispered and let the tears fall from her eyes like so many times since she saw her dead child being carried away from her arms.

"I'm glad you didn't," Buck sniffled and blinked away his own tears. He tried to smile.

"A part of us died last night," Kate stated.

"Yeah," Buck whispered. His voice wouldn't room in his throat and he had to swallow hard before he could continue. "But there's a part of us right here too," he smiled wearily, letting his left hand's index finger touch the swollen pink cheek of his son.

"I don't know what I would have done if this hadn't happened," Kate said. "If he wasn't born, I mean. I think I would have..." Buck cut her short with a finger over her lips before she could continue.

"It's over now. Don't talk about it anymore," he begged and his face moved close to hers. He stole a kiss with a heavy heart. She didn't seem angry, but he was certain she was deep inside.

"Are you mad?" she asked suddenly.

Buck was shocked at hearing her ask that. It should be him asking.

"Mad about what?" he asked.

"I killed your daughter," she whispered and the tears flowed anew.

"No," Buck shook his head. "No, you didn't. I did."

"You?" Kate was shocked too now.

"Yeah, me. I didn't help you enough. I should have helped you. I'm so sorry," he whispered and sat straight. His eyes were dark and sad, with tears of pain and grief brimming in them. They broke Kate's heart.

"It's not your fault," she promised and again brushed her hand over his cheek.

"I thought I was gonna lose you," Buck spoke sadly and studied her face for awhile. She sure was pale. "I thought you'd never want to see me again."

"Why wouldn't I?" Kate asked back and frowned with concern. He was talking crazy! Then suddenly she realized the pain and guilt he must feel and shook her head slowly. "Buck, I love you, no matter what."

"I love you too," Buck said and felt an urge to touch her again. His hand caressed her cheek carefully and affectionately, while their eyes met with mixed emotions.

"Won't you hold me?" she begged and he smiled carefully.

He lifted his sore leg onto the cot and then the other. He bit his teeth together to shut out the pain when he scooted close to her body and found a somewhat comfortable position. His arms wrapped around her frail body and his right hand rested carefully on his son's chest. He murmured his love for her time and time again while they both drifted off into a weary slumber. Kate snuggled into his chest and was soon fast asleep. Buck wasn't far behind. Sometime later the doctor found them that way and instead of forcing Buck back to his own cot, he spread a blanket over him and left the lantern burning low on the bedside table. He shook his head in disbelief over the couple and closed the door softly. He had never see one family go through so many unlikely accidents and dilemmas in such short time before. And so many miracles!

Two moths later

Buck lay on the couch with baby Ike William in his arms and watched the sunrise. He had woken to his son's cries for attention and he didn't want to bother his wife. So he moved downstairs and stayed on the couch until his son had fallen asleep. Now he was too engulfed with the beautiful morning to move upstairs again. Ike William had been awfully small at birth, being born over one month too early and also the surviving part of twins, but he was rapidly growing both bigger, heavier and stronger. Buck had never really imagined himself fathering a son. A daughter maybe, but never a son. He had always wanted a son though. And maybe that was one of the reasons he didn't think he would ever have one, because he never had anything else for free in life. But though this child had taken its price, Buck still didn't think breaking his other leg too would be too much of an effort. But he was mighty glad to be out of the bandage now. He could move about on his own without crutches and the bone was healing nicely. Soon he would be riding again. And working. He dreaded it, but at least he would find something easier to hold down than ranching. His own place was enough.

Lying there in the dim morning light, he was planning something special for Kate, but he couldn't quite think of what. He wanted it to be something she would appreciate and something that would express his gratitude for her patience with him. And something that would make her in the mood for what he really longed for. Making love... He smiled sheepishly at the idea that formed in his head and moved upstairs again, cradling his son tightly in his embrace. Kate was asleep still when he returned to the bedroom, and she had no idea what he was thinking when he surveyed the room for inspiration.