Buck slid gently inside her. Jen was already moaning quietly beneath him, her skin tingling with sensation, her breath catching in her throat. His hips moved against her as his lips found hers. Their kiss was hungry and filled with desire. Jen ran her nails down his back until she reached his buttocks. She grabbed him there, as though to push him in even deeper, and she wrapped her legs around his thighs. Her breasts were pressed against his chest.

When he began to move faster, she matched him move for move, lights quickly exploding behind her eyes. Her back arched and he lifted himself above her, his hips still moving. Pausing just briefly, he moved her legs so they rested against his forearms and began to move again. It wasn’t much longer before his body stiffened, his organ releasing inside her.

He collapsed beside her, gathering Jen in his arms. A short time later she was sleeping contentedly.

They had been sharing the spare room since he had been moved downstairs, at first secretly. But one day when Jen had come to the house after helping with the various chores around the station, she found her clothes moved into the room and a vase of late summer flowers on the bedside table. Emma tried to keep an innocent smile off her face, but finally admitted that she had come downstairs the night before for a glass of water and caught the two of them together in Buck’s room.

Jen was properly embarrassed, remembering the heat of their love making the night before, but quickly thanked the woman for her understanding and caring.

Buck lay awake now in that room, unable to sleep just yet. His head hurt just a bit more than normal and had all day. The pain was bearable but it was enough to keep him from falling directly asleep. He finally disentangled himself from Jen’s arms and legs, and got out of bed. Silently he pulled on his trousers and grabbed the blanket from the foot of the bed. Then he made his way to the front door and stepped out onto the porch, pulling the blanket around his bare shoulders to fend off the night chill. He moved over to a chair and sat down to listen to the night sounds.

But there was one sound that was not normal.

“Who’s there?” he asked somewhat quietly, not wanting to wake those in the house if he was just hearing things. There was a long period of quiet before an answer came.

“So it is true my brother.”

“Red Bear?” Buck stood and faced the sound of his brother’s voice. “What are you doing here?”

“One of my warriors was watching this house, watching for you. I wished to know if you were still here. He saw you in the yard, using a rope to lead you to another building. He watched all day. He told me that others helped to lead you occasionally, and that you used your hands as though to see.”

Red Bear moved around the porch as he talked and silently climbed the steps before stopping in front of Buck. His hands reached out to grasp his brother by the shoulders. Pulling him into his embrace, he hugged the younger man, in greeting and in understanding.

“How did it happen little brother?”

Buck told him the tale. His brother was silent when he finished, anger and helplessness taking hold of his tongue for the moment.

“Will you come back with me?” Red Bear said when he could speak again. “Back to the Kiowa? Maybe the Medicine Man can help.”

“I would be defenseless in the Kiowa village, brother. It would not be safe for me there, not with the way some of the warriors feel about me.”

Red Bear sighed, knowing that what Buck said was true. His desire to have his brother close could indeed endanger his life.

“I understand little brother. I just want to help you.”

“I know.”

The two brothers talked, or sometimes just sat in silence, until just a few short hours before dawn. Then Red Bear took his leave, wanting to be safely away before sun up. Buck sat for a few minutes more before heading back inside and crawling under the covers with Jen. She moved against him, her hand reaching out.

“Are you alright?” she asked drowsily.

“Yes. I’m fine.”

“Was that Red Bear?”

“Umm hmm.” Buck should have known that Jen would have realized when he left their bed, much less where he had gone. And it didn’t surprise him that she had seen his visitor.

Jen pushed herself up to kiss him. His hand reached behind her head to hold her there, his tongue slipping into her mouth. Her hand moved down his chest and stopped at his crotch, moving over his manhood like a light breeze. Despite being exhausted, his body responded. Her lips quickly followed, taking him into her mouth. She moved around on the bed so that he could reach her womanhood and he complied. His fingers and mouth began to dance across her most private of areas. In just moments she was sighing with pleasure and ready for him.

He was ready for her quickly also, her tongue running up and down him, paying extra attention to his scrotum. Flipping herself around she lowered herself on him. They fit together like a hand in a glove, her tunnel tight and warm. She leaned forward and braced herself against his chest then began to move against him, sliding up and down on his stiff shaft. Occasionally she would reach underneath her, stroking him. His fingers worked her bud as she moved, sending her crashing into orgasm after orgasm. When she reached behind her and clutched at his scrotum he could no longer hold back himself, releasing his seed deep inside her. She lay forward on his chest and they both slept.

When Emma came down to fix breakfast, finding neither of them up yet, she opened the door to the bedroom. When she realized that she was seeing a tangle of arms, legs, and bare skin, she quickly and quietly closed the door and vowed never to enter the room again without knocking, loudly.

Several months passed and as Christmas approached Buck settled in to a reluctant acceptance to life in the dark. Emma’s pregnancy approached the end of its term and Buck worried about still living in her house. They would need the room for a nursery, and she and Sam deserved the privacy. But Emma insisted they remain there, at least until another solution could be reached.

Jimmy, knowing about Buck and Jen before everyone else, except maybe Sam, suggested building a wall in the bunkhouse, creating a bedroom for the pair. But even though everyone was reluctant to alter the place where so many memories were located, it was the most logical answer so far. Jimmy had even offered to move into the barn, but Buck would not hear of that solution.

The only other option was to either add on to the house or bunkhouse or build a separate cabin, none of which could really be started until spring.

Emma was in no hurry for anything to change. She enjoyed Buck’s company, especially since Sam was gone so often. Buck was spending more and more time out of the house, helping where he could in the barn, and when the weather was nice, in the garden or chopping wood. But with winter upon them, there was less work that could be done outside, so he found himself once more spending increasing amounts of time at the house.

Jen had agreed to help her father out by taking over the general store in Sweetwater while he ran the one in Rock Creek. The buyer for the Sweetwater store had faulted on payments and Tompkins had ended up with the property back. Jen worked the store in the mornings, turning it over to a widow in town that needed work to support her two children in the afternoon. Then she would head back out to the station to help with whatever chores she could.

She put back the money she made to pay for the cabin. While the word love never passed between them, nor any discussion of marriage, she wanted to form some sort of life with Buck. She had no way of knowing if they would be together in the future, but they were together now. And it was a very pleasant time together, despite Buck’s struggles.

They spent what time they could together. When the weather was still mild, they went riding together, Jen sitting behind Buck on his horse, steering the horse when it strayed off the path. As the weather turned crisp, she worked with him and Emma, harvesting the last of the garden. Together they hunted and fished, Jen working as his eyes. The two even managed to locate a wild turkey for Thanksgiving dinner.

Red Bear had returned during the night a week after his visit, leaving several herbs and a power bundle prepared by a Kiowa medicine man. Buck actually noticed a decrease in the constant headache that never left him, and the white, hot bolts of pain that occurred unexpectedly decreased in frequency. He knew he must be imagining it, but when the bolts of pain occurred, he could almost swear there was a flash of vision. But they came and went so quickly that he could never be sure.

Jimmy stayed on to help, knowing that Kid and Lou couldn’t care for both ranches. Besides, he had no idea what he was going to do with his life anyway. Both he and Kid managed to stay out of the war, and the topic was never brought up for discussion. What had become a strained friendship was soon restored and the two worked side by side, finishing work on Kid and Lou’s barn and house, and caring for the horses.

At Thanksgiving, Lou announced that she was pregnant. Everyone was ecstatic for the young couple. That night, while they were in bed, Buck expressed concern that they had not been very careful. Jen assured him that she knew of several plants that acted as a preventative and she had begun using them after their first time together. They worked fairly well. But Buck still worried about it, not sure that he was ready for a child, and positive that Jen’s father wasn’t.

Unbeknownst to anyone else, Teaspoon was sending telegrams off to every hospital and doctor he could find that would look over Buck’s case. He was unwilling to accept the finality of Buck’s blindness as easily as the others, knowing that the boy’s life was hard enough. Being a half-breed carried it’s own share of problems, Buck didn’t need the added stigma. But he never let on to Buck or the others what he was doing, and was always on the lookout for things to make life easier for the young man.

Buck was learning more each day. He had become totally self sufficient in regards to his personal care and had mastered enough chores that he felt like he was contributing at least some of his share to the stations upkeep. But he kept pushing to learn more, even trying to cook a meal again, with poor results. Emma swore he would never be allowed in her kitchen again. However the next day she would have him helping her, and eventually even his cooking improved.

He knew that everything he learned was leading to his being able to live on his own once more. He tried to be patient. He showed his frustration only when he was certain that no one was around, usually taking it out on a hay bale or sack of feed.

Jimmy usually knew when Buck was about to lose his temper and managed to leave him alone for a time to work things through. He would even divert the others away from him. Jimmy knew how private Buck was and felt a man deserved some time alone, especially since he had to rely on so many others.

But Jimmy was also the first one to approach the young man after he had exercised a few demons. They would sit together, not talking, until Buck was calm once more. Then they might return to their work silently, or Jimmy might break the tension with a snide remark.

The result was that no one else knew of these episodes. It was one of the few things Jimmy could do to truly help his friend.

Christmas Eve was a busy day at the stationhouse. Teaspoon and Jen rose early to head in to town, each hoping to be able to return early to help start the festivities. Sam was out of town overnight and due to return in the afternoon. Jimmy fed the horses and Buck helped him muck out the stalls before he headed over to help Kid and Lou. Buck began helping Emma in the kitchen. She had pies to bake as well as bread. And she wanted to prepare the stuffing for the duck Buck and Jen had found, not to mention doing a little extra cleaning.

She was just a week or two away from her due date. They all wanted to help her as much as she’d let them. That’s why everyone was anxious to get their tasks and chores done as soon as possible.

A steady snow had started slightly before dawn. By noon there was more than six inches on the ground and it was coming down heavier. Jimmy, Kid and Lou made their way over around lunchtime to help and they spent the afternoon finishing the baking and trimming the tree.

But as dusk fell and the snow piled up, they all decided that those in town had decided to stay the night there. Kid and Lou made their way home, walking through the heavy snow instead of riding, while there was still daylight to see by. It was, under normal circumstances, a ten-minute walk.

Emma fixed the two boys a light supper. She was abnormally silent, her hand rubbing her bulging stomach. And she looked out the window frequently. The boys figured that she was just very tired, probably having done too much during the day. And the fact that Sam wasn’t home on Christmas Eve.

Jimmy left the house early to head over to the bunkhouse and Emma went upstairs a few minutes later, stopping to place a kiss on Buck’s forehead as she went.

“They should be able to make it here in the morning Emma. You’ll see.”

“Thank you Buck. And thank you for all the help today.”

“Yeah, well, hopefully I didn’t make too much of a mess and cause that much more work.”

“You didn’t. Good night.” Her hand absentmindedly stroked his hair, running over the left side of his head. He stiffened slightly as her fingers brushed across the shorter hairs there, not yet grown to any great length, but he forced himself to relax.

“Good night.” He called after her.

Shortly before midnight he heard his door open.

“Buck?”

“What’s wrong Emma?” he asked, pulling on his trousers even as he did.

“Buck. The baby. It’s coming.”

Buck was at her side in a heartbeat, locating her by her voice. He helped her toward the bed he had just vacated.

“Now? But it’s too soon isn’t it?”

“Apparently not.” Emma grimaced as another contraction overcame her.

Buck got her settled in bed then ran out onto the porch. Teaspoon had moved the dinner bell from the bunkhouse up to the main house and Buck rang it now. It would certainly wake Jimmy, and if the wind was right, could carry as far as Kid and Lou’s.

Buck waited on the porch in the cold night air, no shirt or shoes on, until he heard Jimmy call from the bunkhouse porch.

“Emma’s having the baby!” he yelled back. “Get Lou!” Then he turned back inside where he could hear Emma cry out in pain. He took time to stock up the fire and turn the wicks up on the lamps before going back in to Emma’s side. The light would help Kid and Lou find the house in the blanket of white. At least the snow had stopped and they wouldn’t be fighting snow blindness.

He grabbed Emma’s hand and she squeezed it as another contraction hit her.

“Jimmy’s going after Lou in case they didn’t hear the bell.” He told her. “But I don’t think we should try to make it to town in the dark. There’s no moon out.”

“Then you three are going to have to do this.” She replied. “It’s gonna be soon Buck.”

“Okay Emma. It’s gonna be okay. In my village they say that the mothers instincts deliver the baby. We’ll count on that. It’s gonna be all right. I promise.”

Buck helped Emma move so that she was leaning against the headboard of the bed. Then he pulled the sheet down from around her and moved her gown up around her hips. Propping her legs up he draped another sheet over her to give her as much privacy as possible. Her contractions were coming often and Buck worked as quickly as he could, hoping that Lou would hurry. He had delivered one baby before, but that had been a stranger, and he could see. This was Emma and he was blind.

Emma screamed again. The sound set Buck’s nerves on edge. He felt helpless.

“Lou will be here soon Emma. Just hold on.” Lou had no more knowledge about delivering a baby than he did, but at least she had been there when her mother delivered her younger brother and sister. Hopefully she remembered something.

“Ahhhh!”

“Emma! It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” Buck wasn’t sure if he was saying it for her or for himself.

“Buck! The baby is coming. Now!” Emma couldn’t stop the push. Buck scrambled to the foot of the bed, his hand reaching out to find Emma’s stomach, moving her legs open wider so there was room for him. He heard Emma pushing again and felt his way to her birthing canal. He placed his hand there and waited. When Emma pushed once more, he felt the head emerge. He placed his hand under it, holding the head as Emma pushed again.

Buck heard the door open, heard the stomp of boots on the wooden floor.

“In here!” he yelled as he felt more of the child emerge, it’s shoulders pushing into the world. With one more push he held a baby cradled in his arms. He felt a presence at his side, a hand resting on his bare shoulder. He felt movement as Lou cleared the baby’s mouth. The baby started to wail. She took the child from his arms, laying it on Emma’s stomach while she tied off the cord.

Buck sat there motionless, fear overwhelming him. Lou wrapped the baby in the only thing she could find handy, Buck's shirt, and handed the baby to its mother.

“You’ve got a beautiful little boy Emma.” She said. She motioned for Kid to take Buck from the room, then told Jimmy where to find the baby blankets and diapers. As Lou closed the door, Kid put water on to heat after making sure Buck was seated. The young man was especially quiet. He sat at the table, staring at hands that he couldn’t see. Kid used cold water to clean the birthing fluids from Buck’s hands, arms and chest, then handed him a warm cloth after the water had heated. Buck absentmindedly scrubbed at himself.

Lou, in the mean time, was doing the same for Emma and the baby. She emerged long enough to ask for clean linens. An hour later she opened the door, motioning the others inside.

“Buck?” Kid said quietly. Buck had still not said a word. They didn’t know the fear that gripped him when he realized what had happened, what could have happened if he had made a wrong move, if his right arm had chosen that moment to give out as it sometimes still did, or if one of those lightening bolts of pain had hit him. He stood slowly and walked into the room, Jimmy grabbing his arm to keep him from walking into the doorframe.

Emma rested against a mound of pillows, the sleeping baby cradled in her arms. She looked exhausted herself. Kid thought that he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. She motioned for Jimmy to direct Buck to her bedside and they all gathered around.

“Buck? Sit down. Are you all right?” She patted the bed.

“Fine.” He said softly. But he sat where indicated. Emma leaned forward and placed the baby in his arms.

“Emma, no!” He tried to give the precious bundle back. “What if I drop him?”

“You didn’t drop him when he came into the world. You won’t drop him now.”

“But…”

“But nothing.”

“He’s a fine looking boy, Emma.” Kid spoke up.

“Looks a little wrinkled to me. And pink.” Jimmy added. Lou slapped him on the shoulder.

“That will change soon.” Emma reassured him.

“He’s beautiful.” Lou said, moving closer into Kid’s arms, dreaming of the day when she would be holding her own little bundle.

“What do you think Buck?” Emma asked. “You can touch him, he won’t break.”

Buck’s fingers moved hesitantly to caress the child’s face, fluttering gently over his features.

“He’s got a lot of hair.” He said.

“And it’s red like Emma’s” Lou said softly. She saw that Emma was growing more and more tired. She took the baby from Buck’s arms and placed him next to his mother. “Come on boys, let’s let Emma rest.”

Emma caught Buck’s hand as he stood, pulling him back down to the bed. She pulled his face down to hers and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you Buck.” She released him and he left the room. Emma was asleep before the door even closed.

The occupants of Emma’s sitting room did little more than doze the rest of the night. Buck sat against the wall near the door to the bedroom. The others took seats in chairs or around the table. Lou got up periodically to check on Emma and the baby.

Jimmy looked up from where his head rested on the table and looked out the window.

“It’s morning.” he said in a sleep-deprived voice.

Kid turned his head toward the window, dragging his hand over his face and rubbing the faint stubble on his cheeks and chin. Lou leaned over from her place on his lap and gave him a kiss.

“Merry Christmas.” She murmured.

“Merry Christmas.” He answered back as she climbed from his lap. She stopped and gave Jimmy a hug before moving on to Buck. She slid down the wall next to him.

“Merry Christmas Buck.” She placed a kiss on his cheek, pushing a lock of hair from his face.

“Merry Christmas Lou.” he answered.

“You did a good job last night. As good as any doctor would have.” She had a feeling she knew what was bothering her friend.

“I could have dropped him.” Buck whispered.

“But you didn’t.”

“What if something was wrong. I wouldn’t have known.”

“But there wasn’t.”

“There could have been.”

“But there wasn’t.” she said more emphatically.

“Still…”

“Buck, nothing went wrong. You were there for her. You did just as much as any of us could have. The fact that you’re blind didn’t matter a bit.”

“Might have worked out better that way. I probably would have passed out.” Jimmy piped in. Lou shot him a glare that stopped him from any further comment. But it got a small reaction out of Buck.

“Now I’m ready for breakfast. How about the rest of you?” Lou stood and reached down for Buck’s hand, pulling him upward to his feet as the two other men agreed. “Why don’t you crack some eggs while I start frying some bacon?”

Buck moved forward somewhat stiffly, not surprising since he hadn’t changed his position all night. But he pulled a bowl down from the shelf and carried it to the table. Then he made his way back to the counter where he located the bowl full of eggs. Taking them back to the table he began cracking them and emptying their contents into the first bowl. Using a fork, he whipped them together, then carried the bowl over to the counter near Lou.

Jimmy and Kid watched as their friend moved. He walked as though he could see, never misjudging the distance. They were both pleased with the progress he had made.

“Good.” Jimmy said as Buck moved back to the table. “For a minute there I thought you were gonna cook, Buck. But then again, that might be an improvement over Lou’s cooking.”

“I’m getting better!” Lou defended herself.

“At least we won’t be eating oatmeal. Seems that’s the only thing you could ever cook Jimmy.” They all smiled at Buck’s comment, happy for the memory and for his participation in the conversation.

Emma lay in the bed, her new son cradled against her, nursing, listening to the conversation in the other room. She had missed their banter during the time she was away, and since she’d been back there had not been that many times when they had all been in the same room under pleasant circumstances. She lay back in the bed and smiled. Life would be perfect if only Sam were here. And Teaspoon, and the new family member, Jen.

While breakfast cooked Kid stepped out onto the porch to inspect what the storm had left. The snow itself had stopped before midnight and the wind had picked up sometime after that, sweeping some areas clean and piling snow three and four foot deep in others. Judging by the sun, it was somewhere around eight a.m., a good hour and a half past sunup. He thought it would be possible to make his way into town to fetch the doctor. He’d get a hot meal in his stomach, then start out.

But a movement in the direction of town caught his eye. He could make out four riders heading their direction. Smiling he went back inside, giving his wife a cold hug.

“What?” she asked. He just smiled and shook his head.

She got her answer several minutes later when they heard boot steps on the porch. Kid immediately started pouring four cups of coffee as Teaspoon entered, closely followed by Sam, Jen, and Tompkins.

“Merry Christmas!” Teaspoon yelled, slinging a sack from his shoulder. He was greeted by a chorus of sshh’s.

“What did I say?” he asked innocently.

“Nothing.” Lou said, snagging Sam’s arm and pulling him toward the bedroom door.

“Lou, what are you doing? And where’s Emma?” he asked as she opened the door. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of his wife holding a small bundle in her arms.

Teaspoon moved toward the door as Sam rushed to his wife’s side.

“Well, I’ll be.” He muttered, then turned toward the others, one eyebrow cocked up.

“Last night.” Kid answered him. “Sam and Emma have themselves a Christmas baby.”

“Well, Ill be.” Was all he could say once more. Kid handed him a cup of coffee and gave one to Jen and Tompkins, too, as Lou took one in to Sam. Then Kid and Jimmy pulled on coats and went out to tend to their horses.

Jen had made her way to Buck’s side and he turned his head to place a kiss on her forehead. Pausing just a moment he kissed her on the lips, receiving a glare from her father that he couldn’t see, so he could easily ignore. Then he hugged her close. He finally realized when Kid and Jimmy came back in that he didn’t have a shirt on. Lou snuck in to the bedroom, reluctant to interrupt the new family, long enough to grab Buck a clean shirt and his boots. But she went in again, carrying a tray of food. She left and closed the door.

Then they all sat down to breakfast, the newcomers demanding to know what happened.

Once the meal was eaten and the story told, Jen got up placing a kiss on Buck’s cheek, then one on her fathers as she passed him. She began to prepare the duck, rubbing it with sage and other spices, adding the stuffing Emma had made the day before. As she worked Kid and Lou did the breakfast dishes.

A short time after, Sam helped Emma out to her rocking chair, baby in her arms and they opened gifts. Emma felt that she had received the best gifts off all, a new baby, loving husband and a family that she could love and care for.

But she had gifts to open besides. They all did. Buck and Jen had made a papoose cradle for the baby, not realizing it would be put to use the day it was given. Even Tompkins had gotten in to the spirit, giving gifts to everyone.

Sam helped Emma up the stairs and stayed with her until she slept. Kid and Lou wandered in and curled up on the bed as Jimmy lay down on the settee and Buck curled up on the floor. Jen grabbed them all blankets and the four were soon fast asleep. Teaspoon, Tompkins and Sam sat around the table while Jen worked on supper. Before the morning was out, it began to snow once more, adding another six inches to the twelve already on the ground.

Buck was the first to awaken. He sat up and leaned against a wall, listening to the conversation at the table. Jen sat next to him, shifting so that she leaned against his chest. His arms wrapped around her. She felt good there. When he nuzzled her neck, he could feel the necklace he had given her there. Sam had picked it up for him on one of his trips to Fort Kearney. He had also given her a bracelet he had woven from strips of leather, a traditional Kiowa pattern. His fingers had remembered even though his eyes were useless.

Jen had given him one gift but had another that she planned to give him in private, not sure how he would feel about it. She knew that he had been able to read, and enjoyed doing so. So she had sent away for a Braille reader that she had seen in one of the many mail order catalogs that came through the store. She was a little afraid he would be angry. But she also knew that after he thought about it he would be pleased.

The afternoon passed pleasantly. The smell of the roasting bird made everyone’s mouth water. Lou was awake when it was time to cook the potatoes and yams and the two women worked together on the final touches.

Sam brought Emma down for supper, then went back for the wooden cradle he had made a few months back. The baby slept while the adults ate. The meal tasted wonderful, the mood was kept light. When the sun started to go down Teaspoon lit the candles on the tree. They turned down the lanterns and watched the tree as its lights flickered.

“All we need now is a visit from Cody and some Christmas carols, and this night would be perfect.” Emma said from her rocker.

“Well, we can’t make Cody appear but we can handle the carols.” Teaspoon replied. Kid pulled out his harmonica and began to play. Jen didn’t remember too many songs from her childhood, but Buck knew a couple from his time at the Catholic mission school and the past two Christmas’ with his new family. His voice joined the others when he could.

They all filed off for bed late that night. Buck would eventually go to the bunkhouse for the night but he stayed behind for awhile, wanting to spend some time alone with Jen. She would be sleeping on the cot in the sitting room and Lou and Kid would take their room. They made these changes without thinking, knowing that Tompkins would not be comfortable knowing that his daughter and Buck shared a room.

Jimmy made sure there was a path trampled in the snow so Buck could make his way to the bunkhouse. Tompkins reluctantly left Jen and Buck alone and followed Teaspoon and Jimmy out, figuring that nothing would happen in a house full of people.

However the house quieted down quickly and Jen and Buck made love in front of the fire. Afterward they lay in each other’s arms for a short time, then they dressed and Buck made his way to the bunkhouse, Jen watching him go. She knew that Jimmy was waiting up for him. Buck hadn’t spent that much time in the bunkhouse lately and Jimmy would make sure he was settled. She saw light spill from the bunkhouse door as it opened, and waited until all the lanterns were out before turning back in to the house.

Jen’s hand moved over his chest, playing with his nipple, then running down his abdomen and playing with the hairs around his naval. It was well after dark and everyone else had been in bed for hours. But they lay in each other’s arms, relaxing after a particularly active night and listening to the sounds of the wind in the eaves. Buck knew though, that if Jen kept at it, neither of them would be sleeping just yet. Her hand moved further under the covers.

There had been talk around the dinner table about the upcoming Valentine Dance and Buck was feeling a little disturbed. He had no desire to go, but what about Jen? She said she didn’t but was that just because of him? He decided to talk about it before Jen’s actions got them both in more trouble.

“Jen?” he asked, his hand rubbing over her bare back as her mouth moved down to his chest. Her teeth grazed his nipples.

“Hmmm?” she murmured as she began to suck at his already hardening nipples. Her tongue played with first one, then the other.

“You can go to the dance if you want. I mean just because I don’t want to go…”

“I don’t need to go Buck.” She said as she looked at his face, her fingers not forgetting where her mouth just was.

“But if you want to go…”

“I hadn’t really thought about it. My father says that I should go to town events. It’s good for business. But I’ve never really wanted to go. Still, I’ve never been to a dance before.”

“Then you should go. You could ride along with Kid and Lou. Or even Jimmy.”

“It wouldn’t bother you if I went?”

“No, not as long as you had fun. I’ve been to dances before. Just remember who you’re coming home to.” He laughed a little when he said this and tried to tickle her. She moved back up against his chest and gave him a long kiss. But her hand was moving elsewhere.

“I’ll think about it.” She said when she broke the kiss. “As long as you think about going with me.”

“I don’t think so Jen.”

“You’ve got to go into town sometime.” She was moving down again.

“I know, but a dance isn’t the place I want to go my first time there. I’ll go in soon. I promise.” He jerked just slightly when Jen took him in her mouth. “I don’t know if I …. Okay maybe I can.” He murmured as her ministrations had their effect. He let her work for a few minutes then pulled away and moved off the bed, grabbing her hand and pulling her along with him. He grabbed the blanket and a pillow and laid them out on the floor.

Jen kneeled down immediately and took him in her mouth again. She worked her way up and down him, sliding her mouth over his length. This wasn’t what he had in mind, but he wasn’t going to object. She moved away when he had hardened and he moved down to his knees, one hand on Jen so he knew where she was.

She turned around so her back was to him and his hands explored her, tangling in the curly hairs between her legs, cupping her breasts, playing with her nipples until they were hard. His mouth was kissing her neck and shoulders and one finger slipped between her legs, rubbing her hardening bud. Like a cat she moved forward onto her hands and knees, offering herself to him as she tipped her hips.

His fingers found her opening and his manhood quickly followed. His hands moved to her hips as he moved inside her, grinding his hips against hers. Then he leaned over her, moving her legs wider with his knees, his hands moving over her breasts and down her back. She rocked in time with him, slowly at first, then picking up speed as her passions grew.

Their breathing grew labored, their bodies sweaty even in the cold night air. Their hips moved against each other and as their need increased Buck moved his hands to her hips. She shuddered under him and her arms seemed to give out. She propped herself against the pillow while he continued to move against her. Her hand reached below her and between her legs to touch him as he moved even faster, pulling out and sliding back in. She grabbed at his scrotum, her fingers brushing against him as she saw lights yet again. She felt him stiffen, pumping inside her once more as he released.

Eventually, as the cold air reached them, they climbed back in bed and under the covers.

Jen went to the dance, borrowing a dress from Emma. Kid and Lou picked her up in the wagon and Jimmy rode along. She tried one last time to convince Buck to go.

“No. Go have fun.” He said. “We’ll dance tonight, when you get home.” He added in a whisper.

“I’m counting on that.” She whispered back.

Emma and Sam kept smiling at each other, watching how restless Buck was through the evening. They tried to find things to keep him occupied, but his attention kept heading toward the door, as though he heard the small group returning. They gave up and went to bed, stifling laughter as they went.

Buck finally managed to settle into a chair, pulling out the Braille reader Jen had given him. Learning it was going slowly and he had to concentrate on the numerous small bumps used to form letters of the alphabet. He was engrossed in the work when he realized that the wagon had pulled up in front of the house. He heard quiet voices saying goodnight and Jen’s gentle footsteps on the porch.

Cold air came in the door with her. He felt the evenings chill on her cheeks when she bent to kiss him.

“How was the dance?” he asked putting the book aside and pulling her down to his lap.

“It was so much fun Buck!” She placed her arms around his neck and snuggled in closer. “The music, the decorations. My feet hurt from dancing so much.”

“I’ve never danced like that before.” She continued. “And there was so much food. All kinds of desserts and these little sandwiches. And punch! I’ve never tasted that before.”

Buck smiled as she went on about the evening. She had obviously enjoyed herself and Buck felt just a twinge of jealousy and regret that he had not been the one to dance with her on her first time. But he knew that it had been impossible. At least for now. Maybe someday he would feel comfortable enough to take her. But there was one thing he could do.

Buck stood, picking Jen up from his lap and placing her on her feet. Moving carefully to the mantelpiece, he found the music box Emma had left there. Turning it on he moved back to Jen’s side.

“May I have this dance?” he asked.

“I’d be honored.” She replied and put her hand in his. He gathered her in his arms and began to move her across the floor. The firelight shone in her long blond hair, but he was unable to see it. Instead he closed his eyes and pictured her in a deep blue dress, her hair down around her shoulders, a cameo at her throat. They moved gently across the floor until the music stopped. Then she leaned in to kiss him.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“You’re welcome.” He whispered back.

She led him to the bedroom door, closing it softly behind them. Within seconds her dress was on the floor.

Ultimately, it was a baby named Isaac that forced Buck into town for the first time. As milder weather came upon them, Sam and Emma planned their baby’s christening, setting it for late March. When the day came, Jimmy saddled Buck’s horse as well as his own, and hitched the buggy for Jen, Emma, and the baby. Cody had managed to get some time off and was spending a long weekend at the station.

They all mounted their horses and Cody and Jimmy took up spots on either side of Buck’s horse. Buck let his horse have its head and it willingly followed the buggy, but his friends were there just in case. Kid and Lou met them on the road. Jimmy quietly told Buck when they entered town and when they needed to turn slightly to hitch their horses in front of Teaspoon’s office.

Buck slid off his horse, Jimmy watching him carefully but not obviously interfering with his movements or actions. Buck took the few steps to the railing and flipped his horse’s reins over it. Then he ducked underneath the hitching post where Jimmy met him. Jimmy quietly counted off steps for him, telling him when to step up on to the boardwalk where Jen waited for him, slipping her hand into his. Teaspoon and Sam stepped out of the office to greet the group.

Together they walked to the church for the baptism ceremony, Jen holding Buck’s hand, essentially leading him without being obvious about it. Jimmy fell in step at his other side, still using the quiet directions when needed. Everyone ignored the stares of the townspeople. Those that knew Buck were curious. Those that liked him spoke to him. Those that were new to town since his injury stared more openly, some with concern at the sight of an Indian in town, some upset at the idea of an Indian with a white woman. They had no way of knowing that Jen had spent six years among the Lakota and felt more at ease among Indians than among whites.

Buck felt the eyes on his back, but it was easier ignoring them since he couldn’t see them. But he also knew that it was more dangerous. He would never know if someone approaching him intended him harm until they acted on it. He had trouble identifying some of the voices, but some were very distinctive, like Barnett’s when they came upon him.

They made it to the church without Buck tripping over anything and falling. It was a great relief to him. The ceremony was brief and a happy family soon emerged into the bright spring sunshine, two proud parents, a beaming adopted Grandfather and six Godparents.

Sam stood with his arm around his wife just outside the church. There was still just enough coolness in the air that a jacket or shawl felt good, but there was the promise of shedding those garments before the day was out.

“Why don’t we head over to the hotel? Emma and I want to take you all to dinner.”

Buck’s heart jumped into his throat as a hard lump settled into his stomach. It was one thing to eat in front of the family, another to be on display to the whole town. His mind filled with ‘What if’s’. But it was out of his hands as the others accepted and they began to move off towards the hotel.

They were seated quickly and menus distributed. Buck felt his put in his hands. Apparently the hostess either hadn’t heard about him or just didn’t think about it, giving him one out of habit. But she quickly realized her mistake.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Buck.” She sputtered, not sure if she should take it back or let it remain in his hands.

“It’s okay Myra.” Buck took the menu and opened it, looking as though he were reading it. “The beef looks good.”

Any tension over the moment was broken as the occupants of the table burst out laughing. Myra wasn’t sure what to do. Maybe her information was wrong. She stood there puzzled until Buck turned toward her and handed the menu back.

“I’m sorry Myra.” Buck felt bad about putting her on the spot.

“Um, well, ahh have a nice meal.” She sputtered and walked away, glancing over her shoulder at the group, trying to decide if Buck was blind or not. She wasn’t sure at this point. In fact she wasn’t sure until the meal arrived and she saw two of the others help him with his meal.

Jen read the menu to him so he could decide. When the meal arrived she and Jimmy set it up for him, telling him where things were on his plate, moving glasses and silverware so he could reach them. He managed to get through the meal without making a mess.

As they ate dessert Sam spoke up once more.

“Emma and I have been talking and we’ve made a decision. A couple of weeks ago we ordered up a load of lumber and supplies to build that cabin we talked about.”

“Sam! Emma! You don’t need to do that. I’ve got some put back…” Buck said. He was shocked and surprised at such an offer.

“No.” Emma stopped him. “This was something we wanted to do. We’ve come to realize how important it is to have family around. We want to do this.”

“Emma…”

“Buck. No. It’s done. Isn’t it Sam?”

“Yep.”

“So the only thing I’m allowed to say is thank you?”

“Yep.”

“Thank you. Very much.” Buck stood carefully and Emma met him halfway. He hugged her, placing a kiss on her cheek, not concerned about those that were watching them. Then he reached out toward Sam’s voice and felt the man grasp it in a handshake. Sam patted Buck’s shoulder. Jen still sat there, stunned at such generosity.

“Of course there’s still the building to do.” Sam added.

“Not a problem.” Came a chorus of voices from around the table.

Early the next morning several wagons arrived with the supplies. Emma had picked out a sight between the house and bunkhouse and told Buck it’s location. He knew that from there he could access the house, bunkhouse and barn easily, as well as the bunkhouse shower. And yet it sat back just enough that they would have some privacy.

It would have trees behind it and along one side and would have a perfect view of the sunset from the front.

Neither Buck nor Jen needed or wanted anything large. A bedroom and a separate room for cooking, eating and entertaining family members. A simple two room cabin with some windows and a porch.

Construction began that afternoon, with the foundation.

Teaspoon had suggested that they use stone for a short foundation on the house and they spent several days hauling and laying rock from around the creek and any found in the grasslands surrounding the houses. They used mortar to hold the rock in place and they soon had a foundation.

Jimmy and Buck were clearing away the leftover stones when they heard a horse riding up.

“Tompkins.” Jimmy greeted the man.

“Buck, Jimmy. I was wondering if I could have a word with Buck. Alone.”

Jimmy looked at his friend but couldn’t read his expression.

“Sure.” He said and walked away toward the other side of the corral.

“What’s on your mind Tompkins? Jen’s okay isn’t she?” Buck said as he wiped his hands on a rag.

“Yes, she’s fine. I came out here to talk about her.”

“What about her?”

“I want to know what your intentions are.”

“My intentions? What do you mean?”

“I want to know if you’re going to marry her. If you’re going to make an honest woman of her instead of just, well, just playing house.”

“We haven’t ever talked about it.”

“Don’t you think it’s about time you did? Everyone knows what’s going on between you two. The whole town is talking about it. I’m not happy about having a half-breed for a son in law, but it would be better than watching as my daughter’s reputation is ruined more than it already is. Better to at least have the two of you legal.”

“So, you think everything will be taken care of if we have a church ceremony? That it will save Jen’s tarnished reputation?”

“It would help it, yes. But it won’t erase the fact that she’s been out here for months whoring around with the likes of you. Lord knows she only has eyes for Indians. Who knows how many she’s laid with.”

Buck’s face had turned stormy, his blood pressure rising with his anger. It was one thing for Tompkins to insult him. He was somewhat used to it. But to say such things about his own daughter! Buck drew himself up to his full height, which was still several inches less than Tompkins.

“You obviously don’t know your daughter very well.” Buck said as calmly as he could manage.

“How could I? She spends all her time out here with you.”

“You’ve had plenty of opportunities. But you’ve ruined every one of them with your narrow-minded outlook. Ever since Jen came back, all you’ve seen in her was your own failure and it’s been eating you alive. I thought you finally learned when Sally died. You tossed away any chance you had with her and look what happened. And now you’re tossing away any chance you have with Jen. You obviously don’t think too highly of her or you would never have said what you did.”

“How dare you refer to her as a whore!” Buck continued, more words coming out of his mouth at one time than Tompkins had ever heard in even a days time. “If you had taken the time to really get to know her you would know that she is a wonderful, bright woman, who has all the good qualities of all the people involved in her upbringing. That includes you. But she has her mother’s compassion and the courage of the Lakota. She would not be the person she is if it weren’t for all the experiences she’s had in her life.”

“As for our future together, you once again show how little you know about her. A church ceremony would be meaningless to both her and me. You forget, we were both raised Indian. As far as I’m concerned, we are married in our hearts, and that is what will keep us together, not some piece of paper and a few words spoken by a man in a dark suit. If we decide to marry, it will be in an Indian ceremony. Or with Teaspoon performing the ceremony. Either way, it will be with those we love and who love us in attendance.”

Buck was running out of steam. There was so much more he wanted to say, but he was afraid he had already said too much.

“I think you’d better leave Tompkins.” Buck said, once again trying to speak calmly. He began to turn away from the man when Tompkins reached out and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him back around. He felt the man’s hand grabbing his shirtfront. He could hear Tompkins breathing as he felt himself being pulled upward.

“How dare you talk to me like that!” Tompkins hissed. But anything else he might have said was cut off when they both heard the cocking of a gun.

“Leave him be Tompkins!” Jimmy said from just a few feet away. Tompkins realized what he was doing. Jimmy would swear later that the big man deflated in front of his eyes. He released Buck’s shirtfront. His hand went to his face, covering his mouth in shock.

“Buck, I…I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I…”

“Leave Tompkins.” Jimmy said lowly, threat still in his voice.

The big man turned away and mounted his horse. He stopped and opened his mouth as if to say something more. Instead he turned his horse and rode off.

Jimmy finally uncocked his gun as Buck sank down on a rock.

Jimmy and Buck both looked up as they heard another horse approach. They had finished moving stones out of the way and were beginning to cut lumber for the floor framework.

“Its not Tompkins again is it?” Buck asked.

“Nope. Jen.” Jimmy said as he began to walk away. He nodded at Jen as he passed her and headed off to the bunkhouse.

“Buck! Are you all right?” she asked as she rushed up to his side.

“I’m fine. Why?”

“I just talked to my father.”

“Oh. That.”

“Buck I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he did that. None of this is any of his business.”

“But it is Jen. He does love you. He’s your father. He’s got every right to be concerned about you. He’s just really bad at showing it.”

“How can you be so understanding after what he said to you? He told me he almost hit you!”

“We have one thing in common. We both love you.” Buck sat on the foundation to their house. Jen moved between his legs and he put his arms around her waist, holding her close. Tompkins visit had shook him, but then he had thought about it. He would feel just as defensive about his daughter, if he had one. But he would be more open minded than Tompkins ever hoped to be.

“Jen?” he asked a moment later. Her head had bent to meet his, their foreheads touching. “Is that what you want? A church ceremony? Marriage?”

Jen moved over to his side, sitting next to him and taking his hand in hers. She paused for several moments.

“Maybe, eventually, but not right now, and not a church ceremony. I would want a Lakota ceremony, or even a Kiowa one. I’m happy the way things are. A ceremony wouldn’t change that. Besides, I’m not ready yet. And I don’t think you are either.”

“You’re right you know. I’m not ready. I have no idea how I would support you, much less a family.” He pulled her closer. “I wouldn’t feel right about you tying yourself to a blind man.”

“Buck Cross! Do you truly believe that I would stay with you only because you’re blind? That you would be a burden to me or any children we might have?”

“That’s not what I meant Jen. I guess I just have a long way to go yet before I totally accept this. And I wouldn’t feel right taking such a big step until I do.”

“It’s all right Buck. I understand. Just know that I’m here with you, by your side, no matter what.”

“What I’d really like right now is if you would go back to town and talk to your father. Work this out. I don’t want to be the wedge between you.”

“You’re not, Buck. The wedge was there the day my mother and I were taken captive by the Lakota.”

“Still, I want you two to work it out. When we do have children I want them to have a grandfather.”

She leaned in and gave him a deep kiss. He caught her behind the head and wouldn’t let her pull away yet, his tongue slipping into her mouth.

“Okay you two. Get a room.” Jimmy said walking up to them. “If we want to get this frame started before dark, we need to get back to work.”

Jen had her forehead against Buck’s again. “I love you Buck Cross.” She said quietly. She swiveled her head to look at Jimmy. “Is it true you pulled a gun on my father?” She asked.

“Well you know, my use of a gun has been overstated many times before. This time however… Well lets just say that your father needed a little persuading.”

They all laughed. Then Jen moved away to mount her horse and head back into town, her hand not releasing Buck’s until she had to.

Months before Jen had begun to stay in town when her father was in Sweetwater. Buck encouraged her to do so, giving her time to spend with her father and drawing away from the fact that the rest of the time she stayed with him. But as time passed, he did admit to missing her presence when she did. After the confrontation with Tompkins, her absence was even harder to bear.

But it kept him motivated to work on the house. If he kept busy, he didn’t miss her so much.

By the time she came back out to the ranch for the night three days later, Buck and Jimmy had the framework done for the floor and most of the boards laid. After supper that night, as everyone began to turn in for the night, they walked out to what would eventually be their home. Buck had brought a blanket with him which he spread on the floor boards in the area that would become their bedroom.

He pulled her down onto the blanket and held her in his arms as she watched the stars above them. His mouth was occupied while she watched a shooting star flash across the ebony night, moving up and down her neck, sucking gently on her earlobes. When his hand started on the buttons to her blouse she shifted slightly, giving him easier access. His fingers slid down the top of her camisole, finding her small, plump breast. Without thinking she pushed her breast against his hand.

Within moments their clothes were in a pile on the floor, their hungry mouths searching over each other’s bodies. Lips passed over navels and muscle, hands touched moistening areas.

“Oh Buck, now, please.” Jen whispered breathlessly. Buck complied with her urgent movements, shoving himself inside her waiting flesh. Jen moved against him, pushing him along, his member still expanding inside her, but already building to an explosion. She was panting beneath him as his hips pushed forward, her back arching, her pelvis pushing up to meet him. Her internal muscles contracted around him as she came, squeezing his member inside her, the tightness finishing him off and he released.

They lay, breathless and sweating, Buck still inside her, held there.

As spring continued, work on the house slowed down. There were more chores needing done. Kid had decided to put in some crops, to supplement the horse ranch until it grew enough to be profitable. So there was plowing that needed done. Long, hot, work turning over prairie sod. There were also repairs to buildings and corrals after a particularly snowy winter.

But every Sunday was spent at Emma and Sam’s. She and Lou would fix a huge meal as the men and Jen worked on the cabin. Everyone treated Buck as though he was sighted, and he worked as hard as anyone else. They helped him with each task as much as he needed until he had the job down. He realized after hitting his thumb a half dozen times that this was one task he would be better off leaving to one of the others, so he would hold boards in place or haul lumber and supplies to the others.

The main framework was up in a day. It was a matter of several more Sundays, and a few evenings, before the siding was up and the roof on. The finish work on the inside took several more.

Buck sat in Emma’s sitting room one morning a few days before the house would be ready to occupy. Jen had gone into town to work the store and Emma had stepped outside to the chicken coop for eggs, leaving the baby inside with Buck.

When little Isaac began to fuss Buck made his way over to the cradle and picked him up.

“What’s the matter buddy?” Buck asked him as he placed the baby against his shoulder. The baby’s cries slowed and stopped almost immediately. Buck could feel his tiny fists as they moved about in the air, one hand finding Buck’s face. The baby’s fingers found their way to Buck’s mouth. Buck took hold of the little hand and tiny fingers wrapped around his.

“Is this what you wanted, huh? Just wanted up so you could look around? Buck stood in the middle of the room holding the baby gently.

“No, he wanted his uncle to hold him.” Emma said as she opened the screen door. She placed the basket of eggs on the counter and leaned against it watching her son and the young Kiowa. “You know, I’m gonna miss you living here.”

“I’m just moving across the yard Emma.”

“I know, but it still won’t be the same. I’ve gotten use to you being in the house. It’s gonna be mighty quiet now when Sam’s gone without you here. Isaac’s gonna miss you too.”

“Just call when you want me. And I’ll watch Isaac whenever you want. But this diaper thing. I still need some work on that.”

Emma laughed, as she remembered the last time Buck had tried to help with the diaper. It had fallen off the moment Isaac was picked up.

“Well, we’ll do that. But there is one thing you can’t help with.” Emma replied as Isaac began to fuss again, tiny sounds like the mewing of a kitten coming from him. Emma began to unbutton her blouse as she walked over to the pair.

“That’s for sure. I know those sounds.” Buck said as he handed Isaac to his mother. Emma wasn’t a bashful woman by nature and the fact that Buck couldn’t see anything anyway helped. Buck quickly heard the rocker move and the contented little sounds the baby made as he nursed.

He couldn’t stop the smile from passing across his face. Emma would be a very good mother, he thought. A strict one, yes, but there was obvious love behind her bark. Each of the six original riders had known it. Little Isaac would too. The baby was a lucky little boy to have Emma, and Sam, as his parents.

Emma was having similar thoughts as the baby nursed, thinking how lucky her son was to have people like Buck, Teaspoon, and the others in his life.

She began to hum to the baby as she rocked. Buck moved over to stoke the stove and begin breakfast.

Three days later Buck and Jen moved in to the cabin. It wasn’t entirely furnished yet, but Jen had ordered a few things through the store that were yet to arrive. They didn’t care about that. The place was theirs. Jen had brought over the few things Buck had in the bunkhouse, the drum, woven baskets and pipe as well as the few personal possessions Buck had. She had also bought a frame for the self-portrait Ike had drawn before his death. Although Buck would never see it, she made sure that he knew exactly where it sat on the mantel.

It took Buck a few days to get his bearings in the house and surrounding area, and he had the bruises on his shins to prove it. Kid and Jimmy had placed stone walkways in front of the cabin leading to the bunkhouse and Emma’s, as well as ropes to help guide him should he get disoriented, which happened upon occasion. But both Buck and Jen soon settled in to a comfortable life of hard work and equally active nights in each other’s arms.

Neither knew that their lives would be changing once again.

Another month passed by, and with it, the anniversary of Buck’s injury. No one made comment on it and if Buck realized it he didn’t let on.

Jimmy was beginning to show signs of restlessness and Emma was beginning to think that he would be leaving them soon. Cody visited often and Rachel made it back to Sweetwater for a brief visit.

But Jen and Buck seemed happy.

It was a beautiful late spring day and Jen had packed up a picnic lunch. The two went off across the prairie grasses and ate near the creek. They spent the time talking or in comfortable silence. They headed back toward home around mid afternoon. They were in playful moods and Buck ended up chasing Jen, following her by the sound of her running through the grass. He grabbed her by the waist as they neared their cabin and spun her around as her laughter carried across the prairie. He tossed her over his shoulder, and, with Jen orienting him in the right direction of home, carried her home that way.

Using his hand to find the house, he moved around the side and up to the porch. He heard the squeak of the boards as someone moved ahead of him. Jen spoke from her position over Buck’s shoulder.

“Father!” Buck placed her on her feet and she turned to greet Bill Tompkins. “I wasn’t expecting you for another month or so.” Tompkins hugged his daughter and greeted Buck. Tompkins had reluctantly accepted Jen’s relationship with Buck and had apologized to both Jen and Buck for the hateful things he had said.

“So what are doing here so soon?” Jen asked as she opened the door to the cabin. Tompkins followed her in, looking the room over. It was tastefully done in a simplistic way. Furniture was minimal and functional. The room was bright and cheery with lots of natural light from all the windows.

Buck followed the big man inside, moving confidently across the room, as Jen motioned her father into a comfortable chair.

“Jen, I have some bad news.” The man started out.

“What’s wrong?” Jen had moved over and pulled down three mugs after moving a teakettle over the still hot embers in the fireplace.

“I’ve received a telegram from your aunt in Baltimore. She’s not doing well at all and wants you to come out to visit. It appears that she’s dying Jen.”

Jen sat at the table, shocked. She had spent a year with the woman after her mother had died and had come to think of her as a second mother. The woman seemed to understand the emotions the girl had been going through at the time. And now it looked like she was about to loose her too.

“I’ll pay for your ticket back if you want to go. She wants to see you again.”

Buck and Jen’s relationship was such that they made their own decisions and each respected the other. Buck didn’t think twice when Jen replied.

“Of course I’ll go.”

“When does she need to leave?” Buck asked.

“There’s a stage that leaves at noon tomorrow for Omaha. You can catch the train from there. I took the liberty of purchasing a ticket for you.” Buck heard the rustling of clothing and paper as Tompkins pulled the ticket from his pocket and handed it to Jen. “It’s a round trip ticket.”

“Thank you father. What about the store?”

“I’ve already arranged all that. Mrs. Alberts is willing to work full time until you get back.” The big man stood to leave. “May I see you off tomorrow?”

“That would be nice.” Both Buck and Jen walked out onto the porch with him. Buck stood somewhat nervously with his hands in his pockets.

“Nice place you’ve made here.” The man said as he mounted his horse. “Real nice. It’s a home.”

“Thanks Tompkins.” Buck replied, somewhat surprised at the compliment.

“I guess it’s about time you started calling me Bill.”

“Thank you Bill.”

Jen borrowed a suitcase from Emma and quickly packed her few dresses. Buck and Jen shared an evening meal with Sam, Emma and Jimmy, then returned to their cabin. Jen clung to Buck the moment they entered their home.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” She whispered as she leaned against him, his arms encircling her.

“Me too. Just don’t go finding yourself some fancy eastern gentleman while you’re back there.” Buck said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

“And what if I do?” Jen played along, knowing that what he was really saying was that he didn’t want her to leave, but wouldn’t come right out and say it.

“Well, then I’d just have to come back East and steal you away. I’d drag you kicking and screaming all the way back here just so Teaspoon could marry us.”

Jen was silent for a moment, not sure she had heard right. Before she could reply, he continued.

“Marry me Jen. When you get back.”

“Marry you? I would love to marry you Buck Cross.” She grabbed his face and kissed him. He pulled away and went into the bedroom. She followed.

But instead of heading straight to the bed like she thought they would do, Buck went to his trunk and opened it. Feeling around inside he removed a velvet bag, opened it and emptied the contents into his hand.

“Jen?” he asked to locate her.

“Here.” She said and he walked to her. He grabbed for her left hand and held it in his.

“I found this in Ike’s things after he died. Lou told me he was going to give it to a girl he met shortly after we went to Rock Creek. She was a mail order bride that he fell for. I don’t think he’d mind.” He slipped the ring on her finger. “I know it’s a white man’s custom, but I would still be honored if you would wear it.”

“It’s beautiful. Of course I’ll wear it. I’ll see you in the stone every time I look at it while I’m gone.”

They kissed again and his hands began to roam, unfastening her skirt and letting it drop to the floor.

“Why Buck Cross,” she said breathlessly, “I’m an engaged woman you know.”

“I know.” He said as he picked her up and carried her over to the bed where he laid her down, removing her clothing article by article. Her hands reached out to remove his. He moved to lay next to her but she stopped him, moving to the edge of the bed where her lips began to caress his skin. Then she slipped to the floor and took him inside her mouth. Her hands moved around to his buttocks, which she squeezed and rubbed as she began to suck at his member.

He let out a low growl as she worked on him. His hands tangled in her hair. Her tongue worked up and down his shaft, following the slit in the head, then moving back down the underside to his scrotum. She knew from past experience that this had a big effect on him, and she wasn’t disappointed as she sucked on first one then the other of his testicles. Moving back up his length she took him inside her mouth once more and began to move her head back and forth.

Buck’s head leaned back as she moved on his member. He knew he was building to an end and wanted to enter her. But she stayed where she was, sucking on the head of his penis until he wanted to scream out. But he didn’t. His member grew in her mouth, swelling with need until he could no longer hold back. She moved him further inside her mouth then moved out towards the tip without letting him slip out of her, then sliding him back in as far as she could. He exploded with a groan and she stood, kissing his body as she made her way upwards.

He pulled her into his arms and they collapsed on the bed. He showered kisses on her as he made his way between her legs. She spread them wider so he could work, his fingers parting her nether lips so his mouth and thumb could make their way to her hot bud. She gasped at his first touch, electrical shocks moving up her spine. His tongue rubbed against her clitoris and she squirmed, her hips pushing upward.

She wrapped her legs over his shoulders as millions of tiny lights passed before her eyes. He kissed and rubbed on as shudders overtook her, and still he continued. She was soon moaning loudly and thrashing her head against the pillow, her leg muscles shuddering and spasming.

Before she could recover he slid his member inside her, sending more spasms cursing through her. He began to move as deep inside her as he could. Jen’s hips pushed against him. His hand moved to her breast and he leaned forward, his tongue moving over her nipples before finding her lips and the tongue she moved forward to meet his.

She bent her knees and pushed her hips upward and they both moved in a rhythm that was engrained in everyone. He kissed her lips, eyes, neck, and ears until her breathing grew labored. As her fingers dug into his back and then his lower cheeks his hips began to move faster. The sounds of skin meeting skin and heavy breathing filled the room.

Since moving to the cabin, they had gotten a little louder in their lovemaking, and shortly Jen was panting and calling his name. Her nails dug in deeper, drawing specks of blood, as they would later realize. But at the moment all either of them was concerned with was the raw, animal passion that overtook them. Buck pushed in deeper and harder.

“Ahhhhhhh!” Jen cried out as she came. Buck moved his hands to her legs, pushing them upward. One more movement and he exploded.

Jen and Buck stood on the boardwalk in front of the telegraph office. The stage that would take her to Fort Kearney waited with its doors open. Jen had said her good-byes to Emma, Kid and Lou at the station. Jimmy had ridden in with Buck and Jen to help Buck back home. Tompkins stood nearby, watching as Buck held her in his arms.

“We’ve gotta go Miss.” The stage driver called out. Jen looked his way and nodded. She moved from Buck’s embrace to hug her father.

“You take care Jen. Hurry back.”

“I will.” Jen took hold of Buck’s hand and they stepped down to the street. They walked over to the stage door and both felt a sense of deja vue. They had been in this same position a few years back, when Jen had gone back east for the first time.

“I’m gonna miss you.” She said quietly.

“Not more than I’ll miss you.”

“Are you gonna be all right.”

“Yes. Don’t worry. Emma is like a watchdog. She’ll keep her eye on me.”

“Miss?” the driver said again.

“All right.” She turned back to Buck and kissed him, long and deep. Her tongue pushed inside his mouth. When she finally pulled away she whispered, “One to remember me by.”

“I could never forget you. But that will help hold me over until you get back.” He took her hand and helped her inside, then closed the door. Her hand grabbed his as the stage began to move and her fingers slipped from his. “I love you Buck Cross!” she called from the moving stage as it traveled down the street.

Buck stood in the street as though watching it go. Tompkins walked over to him and put his hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“Why don’t I help you over to Teaspoon’s, son.” The man said gruffly. He took hold of Buck’s elbow and turned the young man as the last sounds of the stage reached Buck’s ears.

June drug by and turned into July. Lou gave birth to a baby girl that they named Grace Elizabeth. Jimmy decided his work was finished and moved on. Buck missed the man, who had become his teacher over the many months of his recovery. Emma announced that Isaac would be having a new baby brother or sister in the spring. Kid worked hard at his crops and the horses.

For his part Buck kept very busy helping Kid. During the day he was able to overcome the sense of loneliness, but the nights were hard, especially after Jimmy left. His friend would keep him occupied playing checkers or reading until it was time for bed. But once he was gone, Buck was on his own in the evenings.

Emma and Sam, or Kid and Lou, would make him go into town with them once every couple of weeks, if to do nothing more than pick up supplies. Teaspoon would let him hang out at the Marshall’s office while Lou or Emma shopped.

He received a letter from Jen every week, even while she traveled to Baltimore. Emma read these letters to him when no one else was around. But after Jen reached Baltimore, the first letter came written in Braille. He was more than a little surprised that she had found a Braille writer, but he was pleased that the letters would now be more private, especially when she wrote, after she had been gone for two months, that she was expecting their child. He shared the news with his immediate family, but wasn’t sure how to break the news to Tompkins.

She saved him the trouble by writing her father and telling him herself.

Summer continued on. Jen reported that her aunt was barely hanging on, and she wanted to stay with her until the end. She also said that the war was the hottest topic where she was. Battles had occurred very near them. Buck worried about her safety, but if anyone could take care of herself, it was Jen.

By mid August Jen wrote to say that her aunt had died. She was going to tie up loose ends and then head home.

Buck couldn’t wait. Jen was in her fourth month of her pregnancy and would be showing soon, if she wasn’t already. He wanted her home where he could share in the experience of her pregnancy.

Buck made his way to the station from working the fields with Kid. He knew the path by heart, but he still knew that Kid would be watching him until he made it to the yard. Lou was up at the house with Emma baking pies for their supper the following day.

Buck’s mood was light. He had received a telegram two days before saying that Jen was heading home. He figured she’d be home within the month. His thoughts were so preoccupied that he didn’t hear the horse in front of Emma’s house until he was in the middle of the yard and heading up to the house himself.

“Emma? Lou?” he called out.

“On the porch Buck!” came Teaspoon’s voice. Buck figured the man must have taken off early for some reason. Buck climbed the steps to join his family. He could hear little Grace making soft noises in her sleep.

“Hey Teaspoon. Lay off work early?”

“Not exactly. Have a seat son.” came Teaspoon’s reply. Buck knew that tone and his nerves were instantly set on edge. Something was wrong.

“What happened?” Buck didn’t sit, but stood against the porch rail.

“I, um, I don’t know how to say this but to come right out with it.” Teaspoon stammered and hesitated, hating having to break this particular news to the young man before him. “I received a telegram from Tompkins. There’s been an accident.”

“Teaspoon?” Buck had to force the word out, his voice cracking.

“It seems that the train Jen was on derailed. The tracks were torn apart and when the train hit them it crashed.” Teaspoon moved over closer to the young Kiowa, placing his hand on the young man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry son. Jen was killed in the wreck.”

Buck’s head began to swim and his ears buzzed. He heard his own voice whisper the word ‘No’. Then he was running down the stairs and out of the yard, turning to head into the grassland behind them.

He heard his name called and could hear feet pounding behind him. But he ran on, ignoring the calls, until he tripped and fell headfirst into the grass. Lou was at his side as he tried to push himself upright. She grabbed him around the shoulders, holding him close as he screamed into the breeze, then broke down into tears. In the background the dinner bell rang, summoning Kid to the house.

Teaspoon stood back, watching two of the young people he considered his children, one being supportive, the other fighting a broken heart. After a time, when Buck’s cries quieted, he walked over to the pair and helped Buck to his feet. They began walking back to the house, Buck moving as if in a daze.

Tompkins allowed Jen’s body to be shipped back to Sweetwater and agreed to a Kiowa ceremony. Telegrams were sent to both Jimmy and Cody as soon as Buck had been told, and they both had come back to support their friend.

Teaspoon tried to discourage Buck from preparing the body. It had been too long since her death and, from what Tompkins said, Jen had been badly mangled in the wreck. But the young man would not be dissuaded.

When Jen’s body was properly prepared and wrapped in cloth, Buck lifted it onto a travois. Teaspoon led the horse away from the house moving toward a hill that overlooked Emma’s property. Teaspoon and Kid had built the pyre that afternoon and they helped Buck lift Jen onto it. Buck took a burning branch from the fire Kid had built and, with a little help from Teaspoon directing him, lit the pyre on fire. Then he sank to his knees, his face turned to the fire before him, and clutching the ring he had given her in his hand.

Tompkins cringed at the sight of his daughter burning, but knew she would have preferred this ceremony over a Christian burial.

Kid pulled Buck back as the pyre collapsed. They stayed until the fire burned itself out, then they all silently filed back home.

Emma had insisted that Buck stay at her house, not wanting him to be alone. But immediately after the ceremony he returned to his cabin. The others watched helplessly as he stumbled and fell as he went, and tripped on the porch step. When they heard a crashing sound from the cabin Emma moved forward, motioning the others to stay put. She climbed the steps of the now quiet house and opened the door. Her eyes searched the darkness until she found him.

Buck sat in the middle of the floor, not moving, his arms clasped around his knees. Emma moved into the room, setting the chair he had stumbled over back on its feet. Then she sank down next to him. She gathered him to her chest and felt the tears on his face.

“I tripped.” He said, his voice breaking.

“I see that.” She used her thumb to brush away his tears and he sat back up.

“Does it stop hurting?”

“Eventually. Over time.”

“I thought it hurt when Ike died.”

“She was carrying your child. You lost two that you loved at once.”

“I’m not sure I’m gonna make it this time.”

“You will. We’re all here to help you. That’s what families do.”

“I’m not so certain.”

“You’ve been through a lot this past year. You made it through all that. You’ll make it through this too.” Emma put her arm around his shoulders. “Why don’t we go back up to the house? It’s been a hard day. We all need some sleep.”

“I’d rather stay here. I feel close to her here. I can smell her, feel her.”

Buck stood and helped Emma to her feet. Then he walked into the bedroom and closed the door. Teaspoon walked into the room from where he had been listening outside.

“I’ll stay here for the night Emma. Head on back to the house.” He told her, giving the worried woman a hug. “He’ll be fine, in time.”

Emma nodded and left. Teaspoon lit a lamp on the table, turning the wick low. He sat down on the settee Jen had purchased and stretched out. He spent the next several hours listening to Buck move around in the bedroom and finally settle down. Then the older man slept himself.

Buck rose early the next morning. He had barely slept, but had settled on the bed, knowing that Teaspoon wouldn’t sleep unless he thought Buck was. He slipped out of the room and walked along the wall to the door. Opening it quietly he stepped silently outside and turned to move along the porch. He promptly tripped over the sleeping body there.

“Ouch!” Cody exclaimed as Buck landed on top of him. Kid, Lou, and Jimmy all roused themselves from their sleep. They could hear Teaspoon moving inside the house.

“What are you doing here Cody?” Buck asked as he disentangled himself and sat up, rubbing the shoulder that he hit against the porch rail on his way down.

“Well, I was sleeping.”

“On the porch?”

“Well, it seemed a good idea last night.”

“How ya doing Buck?” Lou asked from nearby.

“I was fine until I fell. Who all is here?”

“All of us.” Jimmy replied as he stood up, pulling his blanket off the porch with him.

“Well, except Emma and Sam. They’ve got the babies up at the house.” Kid finished.

Buck moved over to rest his back against the rail. Teaspoon had stepped out of the cabin by then and sat in the chair near the door. The others moved into sitting or reclining positions. The small group stayed that way for over an hour, talking and reminiscing. Buck was mostly silent, but they all saw the difference from his silence of the past week or so. It was more of his normal silence.

Buck didn’t tell them of the sharp pains that had been shooting through his head all night and continued even as he sat with them. Occasionally he would lean his head in his hand, his elbow propped on his knee, during the worst of the pains. He had had these since his injury, but they had decreased as time went on. He figured the cause of them now was the fact that he had had very little sleep over the last ten days.

He also didn’t mention the visions that had helped to keep him awake all last night. Jen had come to him over and over as the long night passed.

“Don’t give in to it Buck. It will be worth it.” She had said to him over and over. “It’s my gift to you.”

“It’s my gift to you…..”

“Are you all right son?” Teaspoon brought him out of his reverie.

“Hmmm? Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little headache.”

“You didn’t hit your head when you fell over Cody did you?”

“No. I’ll be fine. Really.”

Emma stepped out on her front porch and saw the little group of people sitting on Buck’s porch in the early morning light. She rang the bell, calling them in for breakfast, then stood and watched as they all headed over to the main house. Buck seemed to sway just a little, then got his balance. Still, Lou slipped her arm around his waist as they walked.

They were half way across the yard, Jimmy and Cody in front, when Buck raised his hand to his head. He staggered a step, then raised the other hand to his temple and fell to his knees. Emma could hear his cry of pain. She began to run towards him as the others clustered around, but he fell to the ground before anyone could catch him.

Buck rolled onto the ground, his hands clutching his temples. He heard a scream, saw bright lights bursting in front of him, blurs of light and color, could make out fragments of words, then his world went black once more.

“It’s my gift to you Buck….”

Buck could hear sounds. People talking. But the words were slow and deep, drawn out so that he couldn’t understand them. He fought to open his eyes, knowing in his addled mind that it wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t see any difference. But it would alert the others to the fact that he was waking, which was good since he couldn’t seem to get his mouth to work just yet either.

He was shocked by the fact that he could actually see something, although it was very blurry, as if distorted by thick glass. He figured he must be dreaming still, not really awake like he thought. But in this dream he could make out blurs of color—white, flesh-tone, faded red, brown in the background, red hair passing by. The voices were becoming clearer and eventually he was able to understand words, but they really held no meaning to him yet.

“Teaspoon?” He was pretty sure the words had come out of his mouth, but he couldn’t be positive. The voices in the room went momentarily quiet, then a rush of words came at him.

“Buck? How are you feeling?”

“Here drink some water.”

“Take it easy.”

Buck felt a cup pressed to his lips and he drank thirstily. His eyes began to focus just a bit more, but things were still very blurry. He pushed himself upward to lean against the headboard of the bed. His head throbbed, but the shooting pains were gone for now.

“What happened?” he asked.

“We’re not sure. You screamed out in pain and collapsed. How’s the head? Does it still hurt?”

“A little. But it’s not too bad.”

His eyes wandered the room. It was unfamiliar and yet he felt he must know it. But then, it was a room in a dream, because that would be the only place he could see. In a dream.

But he didn’t think you really felt pain in a dream, or taste in a dream. Or could be truly dizzy in a dream. He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them again. He could still light and blurred color. He reached out and touched Teaspoon’s arm. Did the sensation of touch work in a dream? He tried to get out of bed.

“Whoa now son. You’ve been on your back for awhile. Don’t rush into things.”

“How long?” Buck asked his fingers rubbing the fabric of the sheets, the table next to the bed, anything he could reach.

“Two weeks.” Teaspoon and Emma were watching him curiously. He was acting very strange. His head turned toward the windows and swiveled to the lamp on the bed table, then over to the fire in the central fireplace. They were surprised when he reached over and pinched himself, hard, on the arm.

“I’m not dreaming?”

“No Buck, you’re awake.” Emma asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Jen’s dead.”

“Yes.”

“I’m in the cabin.” He wasn’t asking questions, he was stating facts.

“Yes. You were in such pain for the first few days, screaming out. I’m afraid we wanted to get you away from the babies. You kept waking them. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” His eyes moved to the mug in Emma’s hands. It was a bright blue enamel cup. His hand reached out to touch it.

“Would you like some…more…water?” Emma’s words slowed down. She was beginning to realize that something had changed.

“It’s blue isn’t it?” he said as his fingers touched the rim of the cup. He could tell it was there, and could make out the general shape of the item.

“How did you know that son?” Teaspoon asked.

“You’re sure I’m not dreaming?”

“You’re not dreaming.” Teaspoon stood and went into the other room. He brought back a pitcher Jen had purchased. It was a bright sunshine yellow in color. “Buck what am I holding?”

“I don’t know.” Buck replied and both Emma and Teaspoon looked disappointed. But he continued just a second later. “But it’s yellow.”

Teaspoon rushed to the door and yelled for Jimmy. Emma sat, tears running down her face, and grabbed his hand.

“This isn’t a dream. I can really see can’t I?” Buck whispered, almost afraid to say the words out loud. He heard the sound of running feet and the door burst open.

“What’s wrong?” Jimmy demanded. Kid and Lou came in the door right behind him.

“Go get Doc Barnes Jimmy. It appears that Buck is awake, and better yet, he can see.”

“What?” came three voices.

Doc Barnes did an examination and walked out of the room totally puzzled. There was no explanation for Buck’s attack and definitely none for the return of his eyesight. He had been out of the coma for about a year and there should, theoretically, have been no new changes in his condition after this amount of time.

But it had happened. While his vision was no where near perfect, Buck could now see and make out colors and some objects. He could see movement. For the moment anyway, depth perception was shaky, but the doctor felt that would improve as he adjusted to the sight.

Even more surprising was the fact that, as days progressed, his vision improved, until his sight was almost as good as previously. He spent hours looking at all the little things he had not been able to see for a year. Flowers held his interest as much as a stone did.

He finally told Teaspoon of his vision the night of Jen’s ceremony, knowing that of all his friends, Teaspoon would be the most likely to understand.

“You think Jen’s responsible for the return of your sight?” Teaspoon asked him.

“Yes I do, Teaspoon. You think that’s possible?”

“Son, when it comes to love, anything is possible.”

Buck stood on the sight of Jen’s funeral pyre, his hat in his hand. He studied that burnt ground, the few remaining pieces of wood. Lifting his head, he spoke to the air.

“Jen, I would gladly give up my sight to have you with me right now. But I know that our destinies were not meant to be together for long. That was obvious from the start, if only we had seen it.”

He paused, emotion taking hold. When he could, he continued.

“But the time we had together will live on in my heart. I will love you forever Jen.”

“The gift you gave me will be cherished from this point on. Thank you Jen. I owe you.” Buck placed his hat on his head and moved away.

“It’s my gift to you Buck….” Carried on the breeze as he walked.