Sitting down in the rocker next to the window. Sarah said, "Okay, what do you need to talk to me about?"
Taking a deep breath Steven said, "First I want to know why you ran away from home. And what is it exactly that you see in that young man."
Licking her lips Sarah said, "Well, about a week before I left, Kevin told me what he expects out of me once we were married. I just couldn't be what he wanted me to be. Don't you think I deserve someone who loves me? He told me that he doesn't love me. He only wants my dowry you offered. I have found someone who loves me for me. To him your money means nothing to him. Did you know that Kevin tried to rape me?" As she said that she pulled her knees up and held them close to her chest. "But last night when I was with Buck I finely felt safe in a man's arms since the day that happened. We sat and watched the stars and talked about things."
Looking at his daughter Steven knew that what she just told him had brought back some bad memories for her. He said, "I'm sorry that Kevin tried that. But he didn't succeed did he.
Sarah shook her head no. "That's good. Why didn't you ever tell me? Please tell me what Kevin expected out of you. I know that Buck doesn't care about my money. He told me that yesterday when we talked. He says that he loves you for you. I know you didn't do anything that wasn't proper last night. Your mother taught you better then that."
Seeing that her father had the bracelet Buck had given her, she stood, walked over to him, took it from him, and sat down on the bed. "Well, Kevin says that I couldn't go riding anymore. I have to give up my friends and only have the friends he says I can have. I can't write for the paper any more. Then there is the issue of children. I'm only there to give him the sons he wants and however many children he wants me to give him. I have no say in the matter. Poppa, I'm 19! Shouldn't I have a say in my life and not have it run for me. If you force me to go back and marry him, I will run right back here to the man I know who loves me. As far as not telling you what Kevin tried to do to me was because he threatened to blackmail you if I told and I would not allow that to happen to you."
Reaching for his daughter's hand Steven said, "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I never knew that's why he agreed to marry you. I only asked him because I thought he would make you a good husband. He has money and is older. I thought that he could provide well for you."
Smiling at her father Sarah said, "I know you didn't know. You didn't have any idea what he wanted out of me. But your money means nothing to me if I can't be happy and in love. All I ever wanted was the kind of love that you and mother had. I want someone who enjoys spending time with me and lets me be myself and doesn't try to control me. Oh poppa, I know that you only want what is best for me, but I believe that is right here with a man that loves me."
Seeing that Sarah meant what she just said, he hugged her and said, "I wish you would have told me this before you ran away. I would have called off the engagement if I had only known. I do think your right. You deserve to be happy and loved. I'm sorry."
Fighting the tears she smiled at her father and said, "I had tried to tell you. But you wouldn't listen to me. This was the only way I could get your attention. I didn't come looking for love but I have found it now, and I'm not willing to give it up. Please let me stay. And please don't tell anyone what I told you. I know I need to tell Buck and I will when I feel up to it."
Steven nodded yes and said, "Okay, I wont say anything. Just remember I'll always be there for you." Sarah nodded yes.
Just then Rachel came in saying, "Sarah there is a young man downstairs that is ready to take you over to breakfast."
Steven stood to leave and said, "I wish you would change your mind and come home with me. But I guess if I force you to come with me you will only leave again. I'm not sure about you being happy but you are so much like your mother I know you will prove me wrong just like she always did."
After he left and shut the door Rachel said, "Do you think he understood what you were trying to tell him and does he believe you?"
Still sitting Sarah pulled her knees close to her chest and wrapped her arms around them and said, "Aunt Rachel what would you say if I told you that Kevin tried to rape me one night? But I meant what I told father about leaving and coming back here if he forces me to go back home with him."
Rachel looked at her niece and said, "What? Did I hear you right? Why didn't you tell me?" Sitting down next to Sarah Rachel hugged her.
Sarah just leaned her head on Rachel's shoulder and said, "I almost forgot about it till this morning. What am I going to do? Buck has been the first guy I've let anywhere near me since it happened. No he didn't succeed. I managed to stop him before he did. I know I need to tell Buck, but I'm afraid that he might not want me around anymore. I know that it happened to his mother. Why would he want me around to remind him of that?"
Rachel hugged Sarah and she said, "I know he will understand. He is the most understanding of all the boys about things like this. I think his love for you will help him deal with it and he will help you deal with it. Now lets get you dressed so you don't keep him waiting."
Standing they went to the wardrobe and searched through Sarah's clothes. Sarah said, "I think I will wear this one. With poppa leaving, I want to look nice for him and Buck.
Smiling Rachel said, "After your father leaves, I think you should take Buck aside and tell him." Sarah nodded in agreement. Rachel helped her into her corset and then on with her dress. Then she pulled Sarah's hair up into a lose bun leaving a few curly strains hanging around her face. After they finished with her hair, Rachel helped her to the stairs. At the top of the stairs Sarah saw Buck standing there talking with her father. Looking worried that her father would tell him about the attempted rape she almost turned and went back to her room. Just as she started to turn to leave she saw Buck turn toward her and smile. Seeing that smile she knew that he didn't know yet and she smiled back at him.
Buck looked up and saw Sarah standing there. He couldn't believe that there stood a girl that loves him for who he is. Rachel helped Sarah descend the stairs. As she reached the bottom she reached for Buck. Buck took her hand and handed her the crutches and Sarah said, "Thank you." As she held onto his hand she was thinking, I wish poppa wasn't here. All I want to do is to jump into his arms and tell him everything.
Buck couldn't take his eyes off of her. He could read her thoughts, so leaning close he whispered "I know I was thinking the same thing. We'll have to wait till he leaves town." Stepping back he said aloud, "You look breath taking today. But you take my breath away everyday."
Blushing Sarah said, "Thank you. It's not everyday that a girl gets to go to town with two good looking men."
Just then Steven came over to where they stood. Placing a hand on Buck's shoulder he said, "She looks just like her mother. Now I know why you fell in love with her. It's the same reason I fell for her mother. Now how about we go get something to eat." With having said that he walked over, picked up Sarah and then turned to Buck and said, "Here would you like to carry her? Why should she get her dress dirty when she can be carried by the man that loves her."
Sarah and Buck just looked at each other and smiled. Reaching out Buck took Sarah from her father. She leaned her head against his shoulder. Buck leaned his head against hers and said, "Thank you. I know it's hard to let go. But I will make sure she's happy and safe."
As Steven opened the door he said, "I know she'll be happy and safe. All of you here have shown me that you all care about her and will protect her. Her happiness is what is most important to me now. Now lets go eat." As they walked out of the house they headed for the bunkhouse to join the others.
As they entered the bunkhouse. Everyone got very quite as they watched Buck enter carrying Sarah in and place here on the bench next to his spot. Rachel followed him in. Upon seeing how quite it was she said, "Well this is odd. Since when are you all this quite? Come on let's eat." As she placed several stacks of pancakes on the table, everyone stood there looking at them. Seeing that no one was sitting down, Buck sat down next to Sarah then everyone else followed suit.
As they started eating Teaspoon came in. As he walked over to the table he said, "Excuse me folks. I didn't mean to interrupt you all at breakfast, but I need the boys to help me track a fell who's wanted for murder." Turning to Buck and Sarah he said, "Now don't get upset you two. I know that you had plans to see your father off and spend the day together, but I could really use your help tracking this guy, Buck." Buck nodded to Teaspoon that he understood. Turning to Steven, Teaspoon said, "I know you were to leave today, but I know that Buck would feel better if you were here to keep an eye on Sarah for him."
Sarah looked at him and said, "I don't need a sitter okay. I have been taking care of myself since I was 8." Teaspoon winked and smiled at Buck in hopes that what he said would put Buck's mind at ease with leaving someone here to watch over Sarah.
Steven noticed the look on Sarah's face before she looked down at her plate. Steven said, "Of course I will stay until all of you return. He turned to Buck and continued, "You better come back in one piece. I will not have Sarah's heart broken because you didn't return alive. That goes for all of you as well."
Everyone nodded in agreement then Kid spoke. "I can speak for everyone here when I say that we all plan on coming back alive."
As everyone gathered around Teaspoon to find out where the fell was last seen, Buck looked at Sarah and taking her hand in his he said, "What wrong? Do you want to talk about it?"
Without looking at him she said, "No. I have to get use to this." then she stood and left the bunkhouse.
Looking a little confuse Buck looked at Rachel for some kind of explanation. All Rachel did was nod toward the door saying , "Go after her. She needs to talk to you alone."
As he stood Buck said, "Excuse me." As he walked to the door he was thinking why is she acting this way. Walking out onto the porch he looked toward the corral. He knew that watching the horses seemed to help clam her down and talk, but he didn't see her there. Standing there he thought now where could she be? Then he remembered the swing in the barn. He walked toward the barn and noticed that the door was open just a little. Nodding to himself he knew that Sarah had gone into the barn to be with Lucky.
As he entered the barn he saw her sitting on the swing. Making sure he closed the door behind him, he walked over to her and said, "What's wrong Sarah? Its not like you to just walk out like that." Without looking or saying anything to him, Sarah got up from the swing and went to Luckie's stall. Not knowing what was going on, Buck followed her into the stall.
As she reached Lucky she knew that Buck was a few steps behind her. He was able to reach out and garb her arm. Pulling on her arm he finally got her to stop and turned her to look at him, saying, "Please talk to me. What is bothering you? We do this all the time for Teaspoon. Please tell me what's wrong." Pulling her arm free she sat on a hay bail that was in the stall nearby.
Sarah finally looked at him and said, "There's nothing wrong. But what's there to say, Teaspoon needs your help. I have to get used to this if I am going to stay here with you."
Smiling as he sat down next to her Buck said, "I know that we were to spend the day together but Teaspoon could really use my help. I will be okay. I promise! We will spend another day together after we get this guy I promise. But Rachel said that you needed to talk to me alone about something. What is it? You know that you can tell me anything." He turned to her to read her face.
Sarah looked into Buck's eyes, thinking how can I hurt him like this? She said, "Well, I'm scared that I might lose you. Seeing him look at her confused she continued. "Not only by you getting killed but by what I have to tell you. So please let me say this before you say anything." He nodded yes and she continued, "Do you remember the first night I let you hold me and how I had hoped you would kiss me."
Looking confused Buck nodded yes, then he said, "Yes, I remember but what?"
Sarah cut him off by putting her fingers to his lips to quite him. Then she said, "This is hard enough to say. Please let me finish. There was a reason I was upset when I told you about Kevin. About a year before I came out here he tried to," But before she could finish her sentence she started to cry. Pulling her into his arms, Buck could feel that it was hard for her to say what ever it was she needed to say. Taking a deep breath she continued. "Okay here goes. He tried to rape me. I have a scar across my chest from his attack."
They both just sat there. Sarah was afraid that Buck might not say anything and just walk out on her, but she was wrong Buck tighten his hold on her and said, "Oh! I'm so sorry that happened to you. So he cut you when you put up a fight against him? It doesn't matter to me. I still love you. I know how hard it was for you to tell me this. Is that why you don't want me to go? You're afraid that it might happen again?"
Leaning her head on his shoulder, Sarah said, "Yes. I'm afraid that he will find me and try it again. But my biggest fear is knowing it happened to your mother and now to me that you might not want to be with me any more. I love you and it hurts to think that. But I don't know what to think. You are the first man I have let near me since it happened." She started to cry again.
Buck pulled her closer and with his fore figure and thumb he lifted her chin so she was looking at him. Then he said, "I won't leave you just because of that. It's not your fault that it happened. I know that it hurts. Dose anyone else know?"
Sitting up straight Sarah said, "I told my father and Aunt Rachel this morning. I never could bring myself to tell anyone. I thought it was something I did that made him try to do that. He even threatened to blackmail my father if I told. I was afraid that he would do that and that he might kill me just to prove he meant it."
Looking her in the eyes Buck said, Could you please tell me how it happened?" Taking a deep breath Sarah garbed his hand for strength, then she began, "Well we were sitting in the parlor talking. He had been drinking. When he tried to force himself on me, I slapped him. He slammed his glass on the table beside the couch and broke it. He swung at me cutting through my dress and cutting me across the chest. As he tried again I managed to get him to stop by hurting him in his most vulnerable spot. He backed off and I ran from the room. I did everything not to be around him unless we were in a room full of people. But as time went by I just couldn't be around him at all. So I left and ended up here."
As she finished Sarah stood and went over to Lucky and leaned on her. She felt a great relief that she had told him, but now a new fear took hold of her. The fear that he might leave her. Buck stood and walked over to where she stood and wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling how tense she was he said, "It's in the past now. You're here and you're my gal now. We'll deal with him if he shows up here." Feeling her start to relax in his arms he leaned down and started to kiss her neck. Sarah turned in his arms and met his kisses with her own with a feeling of relief.
Breaking the kiss Buck said, "Come on lets go finish breakfast before Cody eats it all. I know your father was worried about you after you left. I want you to stay by me till we leave." Then he picked her up and carried her back to the bunkhouse.
Buck sat Sarah back down at the table. As they sat down Steven said, "Sarah are you okay?"
Nodding yes she said, "I'm fine. I just have to get use to this is all."
Teaspoon walked over to where she sat and said, "I know how you are feeling. I promise you that he will come back safe as will all the boys. With the fact that you are here waiting on him to return I know Buck will come back okay."
Smiling at him Sarah said, "I know. This is all new to me still. I need time to adjust to it is all." Everyone finished breakfast and went about getting ready to leave. Sarah sat on Buck's bunk while he packed a few things. Then out of know where she said, "Why don't I go with you. I think you might need an extra gun on this."
Looking up at her in shock Buck said as he sat down next to her, "No! I would feel better if you stayed here. I don't want you to get hurt. I want to know that when we return you will be the first person I see when I ride in."
Standing up she garbed her crutches and said, "Why not? Lou is going! I can handle myself as good as any of you and you know it."
Buck stood and reached for her arm as she tried to walk away. He garbed her and turned her to face him saying, "No. I want you here. I will not have my girl ridding off on a dangerous mission and getting herself hurt. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you. It's the way my mother raised me. I'm sorry but you are staying here. Now please don't fight me on this. I don't want to leave with this between us. I feel that you would be safer here then with me this time. There will be other times when you can come. And as for Lou that's Kids problem." Fighting the tears that threatened to spill, Sarah just walked out the door and headed for the house.
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