That Ruby Red Rose

The brown leaves crackled and crunched loudly as if in protest under her boots forever reminding her and everyone that the blissful sun-kissed summer days were gone. Nevertheless for Buffy Summers the summer was anything but blissful. They were long and torturous. And the happy couples that were basking in the sun only reminded her of what she painfully wanted but couldn't have. Buffy had spent the summer without her Angel and she closed herself off from her friends and the world.

Buffy pulled her jacket closer to her body trying to ward off the biting wind. She stopped and looked up at the worn out mansion. She and Angel had shared a passionate kiss there. Fresh tears stung her eyes as she remembered. 'God, I can't go back…' she thought to herself and she closed her eyes while silent tears ran down her face. Buffy didn't even know why she had gone there in the first place. She simply took her jacket and walked out the door leaving her mother bewildered.

Suddenly, a distant crash of thunder surprised Buffy who hadn't even seen the black storm clouds accumulate in the sky. Heavy raindrops began to lazily plop down here and there but soon the soothing sounds of the raindrops turned into a rumble as the heavy rain pelted down on Buffy full force. 'Who cares' she thought wearily as she tilted her face to the sky, arms spread, wishing she could wash away just like the rain.

- - -

After more than an hour in the pelting rain Buffy tiredly pushed open the door of her house facing her worried and greatly upset mother.

"Buffy, where have you been," she angrily demanded.

"I was out," Buffy muttered, her headache and sore throat distracting her.

"To where? Why didn't you tell me? Do you know how worried I was when you didn't come home during the storm?" Joyce berated.

Buffy coughed and sniffled. Joyce put her hand on Buffy's forehead. "And you're running a fever."

Buffy just twisted away angrily not wanting to answer all her mother's questions right now. She walked up the stairs to her room.

"Your grounded, Buffy!" her mother yelled up the stairs. "No seeing friends, no going out, and no vampire slaying! Do you understand!"

"Yeah, yeah," Buffy muttered as she shut the door to her room.

- - -

It was almost sundown and Buffy knew she'd be needed to do some patrolling. She climbed out of her window and looked down. She shook her head trying to shake out the dizziness as she jumped out. Buffy was about to stumble when a mysterious hand pulled her up.

Buffy quickly flipped over the assailant and pinned him to the ground with her foot. She took out a stake she had put up her sleeve and pointed it at the attacker's heart. "Okay, no sneaking up behind you. I got the message," Xander gasped.

Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "Xander! You're back!" she exclaimed.

"Yup, I guess I am. But hey, Buffy, are you feeling all right? I was about to go to your house for a visit when I saw you jump," said Xander, concerned.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just lost my balance," Buffy lied. "So does anyone else know you're here?"

"No, I was thinking of picking you up and meeting the whole Scooby gang in the library," Xander replied.

Buffy coughed. "Oh okay. We better get going."

They silently walked together down the sidewalk as the last rays of sun disappeared from the sky. After a moment, Xander awkwardly asked, "So how are you dealing with… you know?"

Buffy looked away. "Oh, I'm dealing with it just fine. Hey, I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I can deal with anything. Demons, vampires, the super natural, love… no sweat," she said nonchalantly but Xander could detect the slight strain on her lighthearted tone.

Xander stopped and turned Buffy around to face her, his hands on her waist. "Buffy, I'll always be there for you. I know this must be a very hard time for you," he whispered.

Buffy laughed wryly and smiled sadly. "Thanks Xander."

They closed their eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Buffy stepped away, suddenly feeling like she had used him when she was feeling weak. They walked the rest of the way to the library in awkward silence.

- - -

After a happy reunion with the other Slayerettes and Giles, Buffy decided a little bit of training might help clear her head, surprising Giles because it usually took a bit of nagging to convince her to train.

Xander stood in the middle of the training room closing his eyes and bracing for the impact of Buffy's power packed kicks. Suddenly he heard a crash and opened his eyes just in time to see a shelf of various weapons fall on Buffy.

"Ouchies," Buffy muttered wryly.

"Buffy! Are you okay?" Xander asked worriedly as pushed the shelf off of Buffy.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Buffy muttered. "I just tripped, fell, and couldn't get up."

She put her hands on Xander's broad shoulders to pick herself up and for the first time she realized that Xander was really built. Buffy leaned up towards Xander, closed her eyes and kissed him passionately. She had caught Xander by surprise but he was also soon kissing her back equally passionately. His hands slowly traced the fine curve of her back sending delicious chills up her spine. They slowly parted with their eyes still closed both of them shocked yet awestruck by what had happened.

They opened their eyes and gazed intently into each other's faces.

"We'd better go patrolling," Buffy whispered not taking her eyes off of Xander for a second.

"Yeah, that would be a good idea," Xander whispered back.

They walked to the cemetery in half-tense and half-peaceful silence. By the time they got to the cemetery, it had started raining incredibly hard.

"Not again," Buffy grumbled under her breath. They stumbled through the graves, the rain blinding them and after about half an hour of pelting rain they had managed to find a large sheltered grave.

By then, Xander had noticed that Buffy was shivering uncontrollably. "Buffy, you're sick. We have to get you home," Xander said with concern.

Buffy shook her head, trying to clear away the dizziness and slid the stake out of her sleeve. She raised it high in the sky and pointed it at Xander.

"Umm… okay, maybe we could stay here if you want," Xander said nervously.

Buffy threw the spike as Xander yelled in horror. Instantly, he heard a demonic yell of agony and the sound of dust falling to the ground. Xander sighed with relief. "Jeez, Buffy. You saved my life but give me a warning next time."

All of a sudden, Buffy dropped to the ground just barely holding on to consciousness. "Buffy!" Xander yelled. He picked her up and looked at her overcome with shock and anxiety.

"It's so cold…" Buffy whispered. "I can't move… help Xander… help…"

"Oh God, it's going to be okay, Buffy. It's going to be okay…" Xander muttered as he quickly threw the jacket over her and picked her up. He gave her one more piteous look and ran as fast as he could to his house.

- - -

He clumsily opened the door to his house and placed her on his bed. He had recalled from class before that the best way to cure hypothermia was body heat.

"Okay, Buffy," he said even though he knew Buffy couldn't hear. "This is purely business. Well… almost."

He shut his eyes and took off her clothes except her underwear and bra. He went over to his drawers and pulled out a pair of brown corduroys and a khaki-colored long sleeve shirt.

He put them on Buffy, careful not to hurt her. He looked at her cold, pale body lying on his bed. He then took off his wet shirt and khaki pants, and changed into black sweats and a white T-shirt.

Xander looked at Buffy once more and then climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around her cold body. Her skin was a pasty white and her lips were purple. If Xander couldn't feel the violent shivers from Buffy, he could've sworn she looked dead. He held her for what seemed like forever and the whole time he didn't take his eyes of hers. He looked at her with such concern, such care, such… love.

After about half an hour, Buffy opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Xander's big, brown, puppy-dog eyes staring into her own.

She woke up her whole body aching and her head churning. She shook her head, disoriented and asked, "Xander? What happened?" Xander gave a relieved sigh that Buffy was ok and just smiled.

He explained what had happened to her. She gazed into his eyes and she felt the sudden urge to kiss him, so she did. She took one hand and put it on his chest and took the other and held his hand. Xander, once again, was first shocked but he also, leaned into the kiss. The kiss was tender and sweet. The need to breathe overcame them both so Buffy reluctantly broke off the kiss. Xander contently sighed as he watched Buffy get off the bed and then, followed her lead. They walked down the stairs, hand in hand. Xander walked into the kitchen to make Buffy some hot chocolate and Buffy was waiting for him in the living room.

Xander popped his head out of the kitchen door and asked, "Hey Buff? I think I rented some videos last night, would' ya mind popping one in the VCR?" Buffy smiled and nodded.

A few minutes later, Xander came out holding two mugs of hot chocolate; he handed one to Buffy, took a sip of his, and casually slipped his arm around her shoulder. Buffy rested her head on his chest and took a sip of her hot chocolate. After watching a few blockbuster flicks, Xander glanced at the clock. It was three o'clock already. He glanced down at Buffy who was snuggled next to him, fast asleep. She must have drifted off while they were watching the movie. He didn't wonder why. Xander himself was ready to hit the sack.

"Oh what the heck," he muttered to himself.

He rested his head on top of hers and soon was fast asleep himself.

- - -

Buffy woke up groggily as sunlight bounced happily across the room, oblivious of last night's danger under the moon. She glanced at Xander who was sleeping like a baby. She giggled silently to herself. He even had a bit of drool hanging off his mouth making him look like a little boy. Buffy kissed his forehead. Xander stirred and opened his eyes. He smiled.

"Good morning," she said, smiling back at him.

Xander gazed at her. "Good morning."

Buffy and Xander washed and dressed; Buffy's clothes had dried overnight. They ate breakfast silently and Buffy suddenly said quietly, "Let's take a walk."

Xander was surprised at the solemn tone in her voice. Her suggestion sounded more like an order, like there was something important about taking walk. Of course Xander would've have followed her to the depths of Hell if she had simply suggested the mere idea.

"Sure," he replied.

The walked silently through the park where only the strongest flowers had struggled to live in the increasingly cold weather. Buffy picked off the freshest rose from a half dying rose bush. She twirled the rose slowly between her fingers, her mind on distant memories.

They had left the park a time ago but Xander hadn't noticed, paying so much attention to Buffy he wouldn't even care if she led him off a cliff. She stopped suddenly.

"We're here," she said solemnly.

Xander looked up and sharply inhaled when he saw the old mansion. The one where Buffy and Angel had kissed. But Buffy was already walking up the weed-ridden pathway up to the door. Xander stood by the front of the house, knowing this was Buffy's place and not his.

Buffy kissed the rose and placed it gently at the doorstep of the house. She waited for the painful rush of memories that had haunted her for months. They didn't come. She struggled to exhale. Buffy didn't even know she was holding her breath. The memories were gone. No, they weren't gone. They would always be in her heart but they had ceased to haunt her.

"For the sake of you, Angel," she whispered. "For the sake of me, and for the sake of Xander. Goodbye, Angel, goodbye."

Buffy walked to Xander and took his hand. He drew her closer understanding that something monumental had just taken place. They silently walked away from the mansion and neither looked back. And that ruby red rose lied on the ground alone seeing the past, feeling love and acceptance, and representing everything.