Season 3

Dead Man's Party

The episode where she came back, and the beginning of the problems Buffy and Xander faced through the third season.
The first scene relating to B/X comes when Xander sees Buffy for the first time. The look in his eyes when he sees her for the first time and realizes it's her says everything. NB really purveyed how much Xander cares for Buffy in this one look, I was really impressed. It's this look that makes it obvious that everything he attempts later (to push her away, and hurt her) are not a representation of his true feelings.
We then get to the scene in Giles' apartment, Buffy and Xander seem to be getting back to how they were before. It's Xander that Buffy aims her conversation at and they talk as easily and naturally as they always seem to do. If there were ever two people you'd feel who could go on talking forever and never run out of things to say it'd be Buffy and Xander. This scene demonstrates that natural chemistry they possess that seems to add something more to scenes they have together. Xander again makes Buffy laugh, something I don't think anyone else does for the rest of the year. Xander is also the one Buffy appeals to when she's "jonesing for some brainless fun", and it is here he rejects her. His excuse that he's "tied up" with Cordy is very weak, it's not like he couldn't spend time with Buffy if he didn't want to, it just seems that he's made a conscious desicion not to. Xander has obviously been hurt a great deal by Buffy's leaving and has made the desicion that he won't allow himself to get so close to her again, not give himself the chance to be hurt by her again. This is a common theme in the third season, but Xander's true feelings came out in how he expressed himself later on in this episode and later in others, showing us that his current attitude is just a front.
One little thing, did anyone else notice the photo? Even in that, just the way Xander looks at Buffy, his feelings for her are obvious.
We now come to the party itself, and ultimately the confrontation. We first get the scene with Xander talking to Buffy while Cordelia is all over him. Buffy is obviously not comfortable with the situation, and it becomes obvious that she actually resents it in the confrontation scene.
A lot of important things came out while Buffy and Xander argued, and it's no surprise that it turned into just a confrontation between them. A lot of passion is manifested between the two, and it is in the heat of arguements that true feelings about each other and situations that they are in come out. These are things that usually remain unspoken. Here Xander is trying to purposefully hurt Buffy while getting over how disappointed he is with her at the same time. Lines like "Look. I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a Greyhound over boy troubles." are examples of this. Xander wants to hurt Buffy as much as she has hurt him; but the fact he is so upset with her is just a sign of how much he cares. He can't bring himself to communicate his true feelings, (the ones that were obvious the moment you see him look at her after she comes back) the ones that scream that he loves her, so he has to try and push her away in attempt to try and get over her.
Buffy's role in this arguement seems to show how upset she was with Xander over his attitude to Angel and the retoration of his soul: "As if I even could've gone to you, Xander. You made your feelings about Angel and I perfectly clear." More importantly she shows signs of jeleousy and resentment towards X/C. If you believe (like me) that Buffy's feelings towards Xander aren't as clear-cut as they may seem to appear, than it's scenes like this that back up your way of thinking. You don't mention things that don't bother you, and Buffy did: "Oh, you wanna talk acting like an idiot? Nighthawk?" The fact that it came out during an arguement makes the fact she resents Xander+Cordelia even more convincing. It is in the heat of an arguement that true feelings come out; it's typical of the many pieces of fanfic where B/X kiss for the first time in the midst of a fight. I've said it before, but deep-down Buffy loves the fact that she is the centre of Xander's attention. I've also said that she feels something for him but won't allow herself to go through with acting on her feelings. The simple fact is that if Buffy was a true friend and just had "friend" feelings towards Xander then she wouldn't have been as pissed off with the whole "Nighthawk" thing as she was. If she didn't have feelings for Xander, as a friend it's more likely that she would have found how X+C were acting more on the sweet and cute side. But she didn't, and you can come to your own conclusions from there.
One thing about DMP I thought I might mention is that I'm not alone in thinking that it showed X+B's true feelings for each other. As well as the many B/X'ers that'd agree with me, I recently read a comment by someone who was never a 'shipper for any couple but became a B/X'er as a result of the arguement in DMP. She stated it was because it showed how much they really care, something that's quite obvious when you are not totally biased.

Revelations

The really nasty one, with the big B/X arguement. It went pretty much like this:
Buffy: What's going on? (sits)
Giles: We know Angel is alive. (Buffy looks shocked) Xander saw you with him. It would appear that you've been hiding him and that you lied to us.
Buffy: (looks up at Willow) It's not what you think.
Xander: Hope not. Because I think you're harboring a vicious killer.
Buffy can't believe Xander's callousness.
Buffy: But he's better now.
Xander: Better for how long, Buffy? I mean, did you even think about that?
Buffy: (stands up) What is this, Demons Anonymous? (starts to leave) I don't need an intervention, here.
Giles: Oh, don't you? (Buffy stops and faces him) You must've known it was wrong seeing Angel or you wouldn't have hidden it from all of us.
Buffy: (desperate and defensive) I was going to tell you, I was. I-it was just that I... I didn't know why he came back. I just wanted to wait.
Xander: For what? For Angel to go psycho again the next time you give him a happy?
Buffy: (raising her voice defensively) I'm not going to... (raises her hand to him) We're not together like that.
Oz: But you were kissing him.
Willow gives Oz a quick look, then looks at Buffy, worried. Buffy thinks about the implication of Oz's accusation, and looks at Xander.
Buffy: You were spying on me? (steps toward him) What gives you the right?
Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?
Buffy: (defensive again) It was an accident.
Xander: What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?
Buffy: It was wrong, okay? I know that, and I know that it can't happen again. But you guys have to believe me. I would never put you in any danger. If I thought for a second that Angel was going to hurt anyone...
Xander: ...you would stop him. Like you did last time with Ms.
Calendar. Buffy is completely taken aback by Xander's totally insensitive and unfair attack, and can't utter a word in response. Willow senses that it's time to intercede.
Willow: (nervously) Buffy, I feel that when it comes to Angel, you can't see straight. And that's why we're, we're all gonna help you face this.
Buffy: But he's better now. I swear. Look, you guys, he's the one that found the Glove of Myhnegon. H-he's keeping it safe for us in the mansion.
Xander: (spreads his arms) Right! Great plan. Leave tons of firepower with the Scary Guy, and leave us to clean up the mess.
He makes tracks to leave the library, intent on doing something about this. Buffy takes him by the arm and spins him around to face her.
Buffy: You would just love an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?
Xander: I don't need an excuse. I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason.
Buffy: Right. This is all nobility. This has nothing to do with jealousy.
Heavy stuff, shame it got broken up just as it was about to get interesting. I was really glad the jealousy thing got brought up, as it's normally a subject that Buffy avoids when it comes to Xander. There is so much left unspoken between the two and this is what really adds so much to them when they're together. So many unresolved feelings and the like, which always clouds over what they do together and makes them more intruiging than any other BTVS pair.
The jealousy comment was in itself very cruel, Buffy more or less rubbed Xander's face in the fact she had choosen Angel over him. It was also interesting in that Xander had been giving Buffy no obvious signs that he was still interested in her since she had come back, it was like she was trying to revert him back to the old situation, which just didn't exist at the time.
It is actually within the arguement that Xander's true feelings for Buffy come out in an indirect way. His spiteful remarks are, as I've said before are just his attempts to hurt Buffy like she had hurt him when he saw her kissing Angel again. Look at it this way, when he saw A+B together all the memories ranging from her rejection of him (directly when he asked her to the dance and indirectly when she bailed) would have flooded back. It's really why he lashes out like he does, the fact he can't comprehend Buffy and Angel when he knows he is so much better for her.
I believe the jealousy comment was mostly true, and this is good from a B+X point of view. The fact he's jealous is proof he still wants her, which some people say he doesn't anymore. A few things make it obvious that what Buffy stated was true. Firstly, because Xander's not stupid. (really) He knows that Angel and Angelus are two different people, that the murders carried out before were not by the hands of Angel. Deep down he is just using the past as an excuse to do to Angel something he's probably thought of doing for a long while. There's also the fact he doesn't respond, or moreover get the chance to, that make me believe he was jealous. As I've said before though, this is a good thing.

The Wish

Vamp Xander stakes deadboy, Buffy stakes Xander, Oz stakes vamp Willow. Tells its own story really. Could just be another of those long term signs the writers often throw at us (See Prophecy Girl and Bewitched,Bothered,Bewildered to know what I mean)

Amends

Weird how in the middle of a major B/X episode there was such a strong B+X emphasis. The episode was was also wriiten by Joss Whedon which makes it all the more symbolic.

More coming soon!