Fights, Dreams, and Strange Realities

The tension between Buffy and Xander had intensified. Being the great friend Willow was, she decided to do something about it.

Buffy peered into the room to find Xander there. < Oh! , she thought. < He's here. The last person I want to see.
"Xander," she said.

"Buffy," Xander said. Buffy walked in and took a seat next to Xander on the couch.

"Did you get a note?" he asked.

"Yea, you?"

"Yea. Willow?" he asked, almost as a rhetorical question.

"Must be. I don't know anyone who cares this much about us."

They sat in silence. He twiddled his thumbs while she stared into space.

"I don't want to be here," he announced.

"Neither do I," she answered.

"Fine," he said in a bratty six year old kind of way.

"Fine," she said and peered at her nails. At that moment, the door locked and as they looked up; they saw Willow's eyes peering through the window. Xander jumped up and tried to open the door.

"What is she thinking?"

Buffy got up as well and said, "Obviously she wasn't." He swung around and proclaimed, "Things between us are fine! I chose not to speak to you, and you chose to disagree with me."

Buffy was quick to disagree, "Excuse me? You disagree with me!"

"Wrong, Summers!" She was insulted greatly by this.

"Summers? Your reprimanding me with my last name? Where the hell do you get off?"

He looked at her smugly and said, "Wouldn't you like you know..."

"Whoa, ego much?"

Xander continued, "I'm only stating what you fail to recognize."

Buffy replied, "Uh, no. Wait, we're off subject. This isn't about how sexy you're not. This is about you arguing with me every chance you get."

He defended himself. "I have every right to be angry."

"Well... so do I!" She pouted.

He grew increasingly angry. He began to rattle off a lot of things he knew would hurt her, but he couldn't help it. "If you hadn't whored yourself, we wouldn't be here!"

She took a step towards him, "Jealous?" He got a quick look of admittance. Buffy saw this and in her fit of rage, continued on. "You're jealous! You can't have me, so you treat me like shit!"

This infuriated him. "I treat you like you deserve."

Outraged, Buffy's eyes flamed and she shot at him, "Deserve? You deserve to be smacked! But, you don't see me indulging."

As it was that neither one was really considering anything they were saying, Xander went a step further. "Ooh! Buffy, big words! Does your head hurt?"

"Me?" she exclaimed, "Your the mentally challenged one! You can't even tell the difference between a woman and a praying mantis!"

The glaring continued, so did he. "At least I didn't hop into bed with a vampire!"

"At least I've hopped into bed with someone!" she exclaimed.

"Whore!" Xander shot at her.

"Virgin!" She began to grind her teeth together.

"Slut!" He took a step towards her.

"Bastard!" She took a step away.

"Vampire Slayer!" He said without thinking.

She raised her eyebrows comically, "Should I even have to dignify that with an insult? It’s like stating the blatently obvious."

He rolled his eyes. Suddenly a look of childhood whimsy overtook her face, "Oh!" she exclaimed, "That gives me one; you’re a moron!"

Xander became flustered and spat out the first thing that came to his mind, "I must be if I ever liked you!"

Buffy narrowed her eyes, "Liking me does not reflect on your intelligence."

"But, getting pelvic with an undead demon does on yours." Xander smiled to himself, feeling good about his retaliation.

Buffy swallowed and tried to keep her composure. She calmly said back to him, "If we’re going to argue intelligence, we’d have to start with you."

I hate this! * Xander thought. * Just because I don’t do very well in school and make a few mistakes, I’m always labeled the stupid one.* "Excuse me?" He asked her. * God, I love the way her eyes light up when she’s angry. Who am I kidding… I love how she looks all the time. * He looked up as she continued speaking.

"But, if you want to argue sex…" she sauntered toward him a bit. "You," she paused and inch before him, "are going to have to get some experience." She cocked her hip so that she was even closer. He could smell the scent of her perfume as she lingered close. She then touched her index finger to his mouth. She began to kiss him slowly but strongly. He leaned away in the first few moments due to his shock; but soon leaned forward. His hands dashed all over her body. Back… arms… shoulders… He explored her as he had never been able before. He savored every curve of her body as they kissed.

He moved from her lips to the nape of her neck and kissed her gingerly. He heard her mutter, "Xander… Xander… Xander!" Her voice grew louder and more angry. Xander’s head jerked up and he was facing a still angry, glaring Buffy.

"I really don’t think being with Angel says anything about my intelligence."

* I must have been dreaming… damn. It was good too. What is she saying now? *

"At least I think with my brain!" she fired at him. * Is he even listening to me? * she thought. * He never does.*

"What are you saying I think with?" He asked her.

She smirked at him, "What do you think?" He seemed to actually have calmed down a bit. She was relieved. He took a step forward.

"Are you saying I think with my heart… or my soul…" He took her hands in his. "Or…" he kissed her neck and continued speaking, "…my…" he kissed her on her cheek. She anticipated his next word and pondered the strange sensation swimming in her head.

She looked at him intently. He didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he gazed at her intently. It was driving her crazy what was on the end of that sentence.

"Xander…." He stopped her mid-sentence with a fierce kiss. She was confused for a moment, but then realized how much she was enjoying it. Xander was far more passionate then Angel had ever been. It felt fantastic having his arms roaming her back and his lips searching hers. She savored every second; not wanting it to end.

His lips lefts hers and he made a trail of kisses to her earlobe. "Buffy?" He whispered huskily. "Huh?" she murmmered. "If you’re implying that I think with…" Buffy became confused because it didn’t seem to be coming from the Xander perched at her ear. "Buffy!" She blinked and the images in her mind dissolved.

"Are you listening?" he asked. "Sure!" she said and tried to continue, but found it hard to forget the images of him kissing her. "I’m just saying that… that… that you think about sex way more than I do." She was proud of her self for covering so well.

"Really?" He said slyly. She flashed a self-satisfied smile at him, "Yes." He peered at her. "I’m not so sure about that."

"Oh?" she asked and crossed her arms.

He flashed her his own self-satisfied smile, "Yes."

"Fine. Think whatever you like; even though you’re wrong." She uncrossed her arms and placed them on her hips.

Xander sighed. "Maybe you're right."

"Excuse me?" She asked with amazement.

He looked at her caringly, "Sometimes I’m wrong about you. I don’t know everything… and even though I wish I could know about your thoughts… and feelings… I don’t. And I’m sorry for berating you about Angel. It’s not fair to you." He reached out and took her hands in his. She swallowed and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you for that Xander. It really meant something to me. You’re really growing up."

"Really?" he asked her, a glint of hope in his eyes.

"Really." She assured him.

"Thank you." He said with a slight smile. He leaned over and kissed her softly on the forehead. She peered up at him and as he leaned away their eyes met. They stood silently in this moment and each pondered what they should do. Xander decided to seize the moment and take his chances. He leaned forward once more and softly brushed her lips with his.

She was surprised by his move but was surprised by how much she enjoyed it as well. It was brief but perfect and sincere in her mind. She moved closer to him and looked at him longingly. She slid her hands around his shoulders. He took her lead and kissed her once more. This kiss was longer, slower, and more loving. He poured years of repressed emotions into it and received abounding passion from Buffy.

A million thoughts raced through Buffy’s head. ‘Wow’ was among them. But, one word stuck that caused her to promptly end it. She pulled away from Xander forcefully, but reluctantly. "Xander… we can’t…" she protested. "I… I…" He smiled, "You?" She turned away from him. "I love Angel. I’m sorry."

He sighed. "I know. I’ve always known. And it’s been the cause of my every heartache." He looked down at the floor and she remained turned away from him. She felt intensely guilty…for hurting him, for betraying Angel, and for enjoying Xander’s kisses more than anything she had in the longest time.

Xander sensed her guilt. "It’s okay Buffy. I understand. I just want you to know that I’ve always loved you and I always will. And if you ever need me… I’m always here for you."

A tear slid down Buffy’s cheek. Xander stood watching her silently. Both of them were startled by the sound of Willow unlocking the door. As soon as it was open, Buffy fled from the room, Xander, and her feelings.

Finis.

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