He lifted his head and stared into the mirror at the foot of the bed, but cringed when he saw himself. Blue hair. Who's idea was that? He asked himself, in an effort to get his mind off of...
She did, he thought with a groan.
Her voice was spinning a web inside his brain, causing him unimaginable pain. He rolled over, kicking off those uncomfortable black dress shoes in the process, and slapped the radio on, only to be rewarded with her favorite song.
See, Baby, I apologize
For all the things that I've done
See I know that I've been a fool
For far too long
And baby, you have it
And don't run away
Just come back to papa
Please, baby, won't you stay
If you really loved me
Then why would you leave me
I can't think about this crazy day
I lose sleep just to daydream about you, baby
I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy
Just thinkin' about you lately
I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy
Just thinkin' about you baby
I'm goin' crazy
When I can't hold you
I'm goin' crazy
When I can't see you again
How appropriate, he thought, tears clouding his vision. He closed his eyes and all he saw was her. The way she tried so hard to keep her eyes open late at night, fighting it until her body forced her into sleep, comfortable on his bare chest.
And the way she looked when she was hurting for someone else, feeling all they pain they were feeling. Like when Chris had decided to flirt a little to make Danielle jealous and it had ended their relationship, if that's what you wanted to call it. It was more like a complicated friendship, if you asked him. But no one did, so no one knew he felt that way.
And he remembered the way her eyes would shine when she was happy, like when she and Joey had one of their marathon movie/junk-food fests in the back of the bus that required everyone else out of there.
And he remembered the motherly way she would look at Justin, smiling affectionately as he would proudly report what brave, wonderful, daring thing he had done that day, or when he would talk about Britney.
And her hyperactivity. Dear Lord, when she got hyper, she put Chris to shame, bouncing off walls, giggling, running, acting like a toddler, but still managing to be sophisticated. Was it possible to be sophisticated and hyper at the same time? Apparently.
I can't think about this crazy day
I lose sleep just to daydream about you, baby
I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy
Just thinkin' about you lately
I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy
Just thinkin' about you baby
I'm goin' crazy
When I can't hold you
I'm goin' crazy
When I can't see you again
But it was the most recent image of her that brought tears to his eyes.
Eyes closed, lashes brushing her delicate cheeks, a peaceful half smile on her lips, a beautiful engagement ring hugging her ring finger, dressed in the wedding dress she'd planned to wear in just a few days.
Crazy. That's what he was gonna be. He couldn't live without her. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Cra-
"Lance?" JC's quiet whisper made him look up.
"Yeah?"
"You gonna make it?" JC asked.
Lance lay back and thought for a moment. Was he gonna make it? Crazy. He'd be crazy if he didn't do what she would have wanted him to do - live.
"I think so," Lance said, taking a deep breath. "Crazy."