I pride myself in observation
I take confidence in my open mind.
I claim a reality.
You can’t shatter a dream
     if there isn’t one there to begin with.
But you built yourself into me.
Into my reality.
Until I saw one day that
     it wasn’t a reality at all.
          gone.
          gone.
          ever gone.
I don’t feel that I have a right to be here
          in this reality
     when you were so much more real
     than I could ever be.
It’s so easy to forget.
     to make myself forget - 
     to pretend.
So that I enter a fantasy...
     something I had tried so hard to relinquish.
And you’re a dream.
Until I wake up and find you inside me
     (in my blood flowing through my muscles
     giving me headaches and throataches and forming my breath when I sleep)
And you’re all real.
                       real.
                       real.
                       real as the pain in me that I feel without you.