Prufrock and Paint Pastel Princesses
silverchair meets T.S. Eliot
Characters
WISE MAN - from Eliot's 'Journey of the Magi'
SIMEON - from Eliot's 'A Song for Simeon'
ANIMULA - speaker from Eliot's 'Animula'
PHLEBAS - a dead Phoenician, from Eliot's 'The Waste Land'
ASH - speaker from Eliot's 'Ash Wednesday'
J. ALFRED PRUFROCK - a lonely, exiled person from Eliot's 'Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'
HOLLOW MAN - speaker from Eliot's 'The Hollow Men'
DANIEL JOHNS
CHRIS JOANNOU
BEN GILLIES
WATSON
GIRL
CONCERT GOERS
Scene 1: Backstage before a silverchair concert. DANIEL, CHRIS, BEN, WISE MAN, SIMEON,
ANIMULA, PHLEBAS, ASH, HOLLOW MAN, and PRUFROCK are sitting around a room on various
couches, chairs, etc.
[enter WATSON]
Watson. 20 minutes ‘til you go on, guys.
Ben. We got it, Watto. [WATSON exits] So... [trying to break the silence] How ‘bout them Vols?
[laughs]
Phlebas. Who on earth are they? Please excuse me; I’ve been dead too long.
Ben. Forget it.
Simeon. Good God, I’m bored. There’s nothing to live for anymore! I’m lost. Might as well die
tomorrow.
Wise Man. Amen, Simeon. Not much left once you’ve seen Jesus.
Chris. [amazed] You saw Jesus?
Daniel. He’s joking Chris. Don’t trust him.
Wise Man. I’m not joking. It’s not that big of a deal.
Ash. Not that big of a deal?? How can you say that? That would be the ultimate dream come true.
Simeon. Well then, if a religious revelation is your dream, stop dreaming. I’d like to tell you all a
story...
Chris. Story time, yay! [sits cross-legged on floor in front of SIMEON; BEN rolls his eyes]
Simeon. ...of a man who had a dream, only to have it fulfilled, and then have nothing left.
Wise Man. Boy, that sounds a lot like me.
Ben. [sarcastic] Well aren’t you guys just two perfect peas in a pod.
Animula. Watch yourself! There’s no such thing as perfect.
Ash. How would you know? Of course there is. You just have to reach out and find it.
Animula. Don’t fool yourself. All of us remember a time, long ago, during our childhood, when the
world was good, and in it existed such perfection as our minds cannot fathom now.
Daniel. Yes... [his eyes drift skyward, dreamily]
Animula. But all of us went through something, a revelation of sorts, or perhaps more than that,
which left our souls afraid of the pain of living...
Ben. Zzzz... [has fallen asleep]
Wise Man. Except the revelation woke us up...and now everything sucks in comparison.
Hollow Man. Everything sucks in general. We are lost. Death is our only true release.
Phlebas. While I was alive, I would have been inclined to agree with you. However, death isn’t all
it’s made out to be. I was proud; I was strong; I thought I was invincible. But death came and ‘bit
me in the ass,’ to use the vernacular.
Chris. Eeeek. [starts whimpering and sucking his thumb]
Daniel. Come on guys, you’re scaring Chris. [pokes BEN on the arm, who wakes with a snort]
Simeon. If only there were something to live for...
Prufrock. [softly] Stop looking, and it will come to you.
Wise Man. [startled] Who said that? Oh...who are you?
Prufrock. My instinct tells me you don’t actually care. Why should I disturb this conversation?
Carry on, carry on.
Ben. No one’s carrying on until we see your backstage pass, buddy.
Prufrock. I don’t believe to know what you mean.
Daniel. Oh SHIT! He’s a stalker! [yells] WATSON! This wanker doesn’t have a bloody pass!
Prufrock. Why do I even try? No one cares. [starts crying]
Chris. Aw, man, it’s okay. I feel your pain. [pats PRUFROCK on the back]
[enter WATSON]
Watson. What’s the problem, Daniel? It’s not Elena from France again, is it? [DANIEL points to
PRUFROCK] Who the hell is he?
Wise Man. I just asked him that.
Prufrock. What’s the point in telling you, or anyone? I am old. I am socially inept.
Daniel. [snorts] Join the club.
Prufrock: I shall never have friends or merriment again...
Watson. Come along now, mate. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. [takes PRUFROCK by the
arm, who mumbles incoherently to himself as THEY exit]
Ash. What did he say?
Ben. Something about mermaids...don’t ask me. Mermaids, drowning...
Phlebas. DROWNING! [horror-stricken] What’s this about drowning?
Daniel. I hate water. Death by water would be my worst nightmare. [shudders]
Hollow Man. I’d welcome death and all its glories!
Ben. Boy, you guys sure are heavy on the angst. You really need something to live for.
Ash. I’m looking, all the time. I’m willing to search, as desperate as this world is.
Chris. That’s great! [grins]
Simeon. Not necessarily. Once you find it - you’ll want to die.
Ben. LOOK PEOPLE. The situation hasn’t changed! We all need something to live for.
Simeon. Well, true.
Hollow Man. Yeah.
Wise Man. Okay.
Ash. Maybe.
Animula. I suppose...
Phlebas. I just want to feel alive, dammit.
[enter WATSON]
Watson. Five minute warning, guys.
Ben. OK Watto. [WATSON exits]
Daniel. So what can you live for? Find something! I’ve got it.
Animula. And what, may I ask, is that?
Daniel. My music.
[ALL sit for a quiet moment, contemplating this thoughtfully]
Hollow Man. And that...that makes it all worthwhile?
Daniel. It’s a continuous dream, so it never runs out. [SIMEON and WISE MAN look at each other]
It makes me feel elated, alive, and on fire. [PHLEBAS and HOLLOW MAN look at each other] It
comes from a genuine, real, imperfect but wonderful place. [ANIMULA looks up] And concerts are
pretty damn near a religious experience. [ASH grins]
[enter WATSON]
Watson. Okay, clear out! Showtime.
BLACKOUT
Scene 2: The mosh pit at the same silverchair concert. SIMEON, WISE MAN, ASH, PHLEBAS,
HOLLOW MAN, PRUFROCK, and ANIMULA are gathered in the same area waiting for the band to
come onstage.
[enter DANIEL, CHRIS, and BEN amidst screeches and cheers of CONCERT GOERS]
Concert Goers. sil-ver-chair! sil-ver-chair!
[the band take their places onstage and rip into ‘Israel’s Son’; mosh pit immediately starts
rumbling and moving all over the place]
Simeon. Hey...this...isn’t bad.
Wise Man. Not bad at all. [starts headbanging]
Prufrock. OOF! [gets slammed into girl next to him] I apologize. OOF! [gets slammed into guy in
front of him] Sorry. OOF! [gets slammed into girl behind him] Hi.
Girl. Hi. [grins]
[PRUFROCK grins back]
Phlebas. I feel alive! [raises his hands over his head and jumps up and down]
Ash. Praise the Lord; He has sent these musicians from heaven! [clasps his hands together]
Hollow Man. I...I...
Animula. What perfection! What bliss! [closes his eyes and sways to the music]
Hollow Man. I...I could live with this. [begins to headbang]
Daniel. [singing] I am I am Israel’s son, Israel’s son I am...put your hands in the air!
[ALL raise hands, whooping and screaming]
Daniel. [singing/screaming] YEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!
CURTAIN
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