Jazmine aka Sapphire_Rose_Petal

~~~~~

P is for Psycho

Part 1

On the eve of Ash's 12th birthday, he was told that if he survived a night in a large scary mansion, then he could have his birthday present.

With Pikachu perched on his shoulders, Ash took a suitcase to the car and placed it into the trunk, almost taking him into it as well but he missed and fell onto the floor.

“Gee Misty, how much are you taking?! This thing weighs a ton!” he winced, getting up.

Misty looked cross, “Just the basic essentials...”

“You mean the entire contents of your closet?” Brock joked looking up from his check list. She gave him a whack upside the head. “NO!” she yelled.

Ash shrugged and closed the trunk's lid, only to be given a good yelling at by Jessie.

“Hey twerp! Don't close that! What about our bags?”

She pointed over to a large pile of suitcases and bags which appeared to be moving all by themselves, but very slowly.

Everyone's eyes widened and many dropped to the floor in disbelief.

“How are they moving like that?” Brock gasped, “Must be some kind of hot air trick...”

“Hey!” a whiny voice cried, “I'm no hot air bag Mr. Squinty!!” James poked his head out from behind the mountain of luggage, Meowth poked his out as well, “And neither is Meowth!” the Pokemon cried.

Misty looked at Ash and raised an eyebrow, “And, remind me, why are THEY coming?” she asked, pointing at Team Rocket.

“Well, I figured they would've followed us anyway, and they said they needed a vacation so they promised not to steal any of our Pokemon.” he shrugged.

By some miracle, the group managed to shove all the baggage into the car, and some of it was fixed onto the roof.

Brock ticked of items on his check list and made sure the car was working properly by looking under the bonnet and fiddling with the wires and components of the engine.

“So, who's driving?” Jessie asked Brock and James.

Before they could say anything, she began her argument.

“I'm so not driving, I could break a nail! Plus, I don't do all the servant stuff, driving people around everywhere.”

The boys looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Girls.

“Okay, tell you what, we'll take a vote.” Brock decided, whilst a sweat drop rolled down his head.

“All those in favor of me say Aye!”

No one said a word.

“All those in favor of James say Aye!”

“AYE!” everyone shouted in unison.

“All those in favor of Jessie?”

“Erm...aye?” James squeaked, only to be whacked around the head with Jessie's infamous mallet.

~~~~~

“Erm...James?” Misty began for the fourth time on the journey to the house.

“Yes?” he replied

“Are we nearly there yet?”

James began to get annoyed. “No, it's quite a long way away,” he informed, not taking his eyes off the road.

Fifteen minutes passed when Pikachu began talking to Meowth which he translated for the group, or at least James.

“Pikachu wants ta know...”

“Pikachu wants to know what?”

“Are we nearly dere yet?”

A vein popped on the young Rocket's head, but he somehow managed to keep his cool. “Would you tell Pikachu that we are not nearly there yet, okay?” he said, before uttering a sarcastic 'Are we nearly there yet?' imitation of his own.

Deciding to pass the time, many of the teens decided to do a sing-a-long. And off they went.

“A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut! A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut! MacDonalds, MacDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut!”

~~~~~

“Say, James...”

James tightened his grip on the wheel and gritted his teeth, if this was another 'Are we nearly there yet?' question, he swore he was going to punch someone in the head, and James wasn't one that got angry very easily.

“Yes, Jess?”

“You see that great big tree, straight up ahead of us?” Jessie asked, everyone looked at the 20ft high tree towering over the road.

“Yeah, what about it?” James questioned, raising an eyebrow, still keeping an eye on the road.

“Well, when we reach that tree, will we be nearly there then?”

That did it.

The car screeched to a halt at the side of the road, James had his forehead on the wheel and his blue hair was covering his angry expression, everyone came to their senses and stared at him.

Then he got out of the car and walked to a nearby tree, which happened to be the one Jessie pointed out to them and, much to everyone's surprise, began to bang his head repeatedly on it.

“Must *bang* survive *bang* this *bang* car *bang* trip!!” he cried.

~~~~~

It was beginning to get dark by the time they got there, after a very eventful journey, they were finally at their destination: 'Cherry Blood Mansion'.

The 4 teenagers (and Ash) and the 2 Pokemon were all stood outside staring at the crooked, rotting, dung heap of a mansion.

“Is it just me, or is everyone feeling just a little bit...edgy?” Misty asked, trembling slightly.

“Oh please Misty don't be such a scaredy cat!” Brock teased, “It's just a little aged and wonky, it's not like it's haunted or anything!”

This just made Misty more scared than she already was, it had also given Ash an evil idea. He creeped up behind her and shouted aloud: “REDRUM! REDRUM!”

The red head screamed and instinctively threw her arms backwards and whacked Ash in the face.

“DON'T DO THAT AGAIN YOU MEASLY LITTLE TOERAG!!”

The others couldn't help but laugh, Misty shot an icy look at them and scowled, “And you can all put a sock in it!”

The gang walked up to the front door as Brock pulled hard on the handle almost pulling it off. After a good few minutes of yanking, pulling, hitting and shouting, he gave up.

“Arrggh! It's useless because it's locked!” he yelled shaking the pain from his hands. Jessie raised an eyebrow at him.

“No, It's because...” She pushed on the door and it creaked open. “...your stupid.”

Brock fell over, anime style.

Everyone walked into the lobby which was covered in cobwebs and it had many Zubats nesting in the dark nooks and crannies of the ceiling, they flew out in a flurry.

They made their way into a living room, the furniture was battered and worn, and was covered in dust. NOT very good for sleeping on, they decided to sleep on the floor which was a little cleaner.

“I'm bored, lets do someting! It's way too early ta sleep.” Meowth cried after rolling out his sleeping bag.

“Hey I know! Lets go ghost hunting!” Ash said, jumping to his feet.

Everyone agreed, except James.

“But ghosts are scary, and besides, this mansion is giving me the chills! I wanna stay here!!” he whined, Jessie sighed. “Then do that, were off exploring...”

“But I'll be on my own! Someone stay here!”

“Weezing can keep you company! We'll be back soon, don't do anything stupid.”

And with that, Jessie, Ash, Brock, Misty, Meowth and Pikachu set off down one of the corridors, flashlight searching in front of them leaving James in the living room.

~~~~~

After spotting 7 Gengars, 13 Haunters, 18 Gastlys and a hell of a lot of Zubats, the group retraced their steps back to the living room, but James was nowhere to be seen.

“Argh,” Jessie groaned, “I told him to stay here, the sniveling little-”

“Shhh, Jessie, remember kids are reading this!” Brock reminded her, nudging her side. “Oh yeah, I forgot...”

Misty had a thought. “Well he probably went exploring with his Pokemon, (now sounding like Arnold Schwazengger) He'll be back.”

“I don't tink so,” Meowth informed. “Look, his Pokeballs are right here.”

Sure enough, two Pokeballs lays still on James' sleeping bag. Brock picked them up and opened each of them, Victreebel and Weezing appeared in a flash of light.

Unfortunately, Victreebel's habit of trying to swallow someone as soon as he got out of his Pokeball was still there and since Ash was the closest person, in Ash went.

It took them a while to free him from Victreebel's grasp, and when he finally did come out, he was covered in slime.

“Do either of youse two know where Jimmy went?” Mewoth asked them, they gave their reply and the feline translated it for the group.

“Weezing said he was outta his ball and was sleepin', he heard Jimmy squeal but when he turned around he was gone.”

“Gone? Where'd he go?” Ash asked, obviously not getting the full point.

“How are we supposed to know? The main thing is we gotta go find him I guess.” Brock said in an almost annoyed tone.

They all reluctantly agreed.

“Hey wait a minute, how do we know that James isn't just mucking about?” Wondered Misty, Jessie nodded her head.

“Knowing James, he probably got bored and now he's going to freak us out.”

They all, once again, went off looking for the sniveling little- er, James. I forgot about the kids...

~~~~~

James had been missing for over an hour and no one had suceeded in finding him, they had looked everywhere. Under rugs, in boxes, up fireplaces, everywhere.

“I wonder where he could be?” Meowth said as they walked down another corridor.

Suddenly, they heard something that made them stop dead in their tracks, it seemed that the house was saying it:

“...redrum...redrum...redrum...” It continuously whispered.

“Ash! I told you not to do that again!” Misty yelled, Ash put hands up innocently. “It wasn't me!” he yelled back. Then, it happened again but louder.

“... Redrum...Redrum...Redrum...”

“I hear dead people...” Jessie whimpered.

Suddenly, Pikachu pointed above them. “Pika pika!”

A grim figure stood on a small ledge, it had an axe in one hand. It was impossible to see what it was as it was covered by shadows.

Then it stood into the light, and onto thin air, but it didn't fall, it floated magiclly. The light revealed it to be...James.

(Surprise surprise...)

“There you are James, stop being such an idiot and get down from there.” ordered Jessie. So he did, he floated down and stood in front of them.

“Yeah neat trick Jimmy, whats ya next performance?” Meowth joked. James said nothing, his eyes began to glow bright red.

“All work and no play makes James a dull boy...all work and no play makes James a dull boy...” He raised his axe above his head and swiped, narrowly missing Misty.

“Argh! He's going mad! RUN!!” Ash shouted, and as he said, everyone ran back down the corridor, unaware that James was following them.

The gang ran into the living room and began piling stuff up at the door trying to block it, as soon as that was done they all ran around the room looking for hiding places.

Brock hid in the cupboard.

Misty hid behind the couch.

Jessie hid behind the cupboard.

Pikachu and Mewoth hid in a chest of draws.

And Ash just stood there like and idiot hoping James wouldn't notice him.

BANG!

James was banging his axe on the door trying to break through, pieces flew off the door and almost hit Ash on the head.

“Heeeerre's Jimmy!” he shouted, poking his head through the door, literally.

With an almighty kick, the door was knocked down.

Ash had somehow found a metal pole and was pointing it at James with shaky hands “Get away! Get away from me! Keep back James!” he warned.

The pole was grabbed out of his hands and was chopped up with the axe, (don't ask how, it's a pretty sharp blade!)

James' eyes began to glow red again.

“Nighty night twerp!” He whacked Ash hard with the back of the axe causing him to fall over unconscious, also causing Misty to scream giving away her position.

Psycho James inhaled loudly, “Ah, I smell a young girl, all hormones and adrenaline!” he chanted, making his way to the couch.

Brock ran out the cupboard and , rather foolishly, tackled James to the floor. Foolish because if you were Brock, would you go and try to kill a mad man who wanted to kill you? I didn't think so.

Anyway, this just made James angrier, getting to his feet, he immediately kicked Brock in the groin.

With just Jessie, Misty, Meowth and Pikachu to get, James was on a rampage. It seems we've reached the climax of our low-budget story…

*Ad break*

*Jingly music*

This fanfic was bought to you by Frogtown Mental Asylum who kindly provided straight jackets and chill pills needed to control production. In association with:

Poison Catering Ltd. who make the best darn pizza I’ve ever thrown up.

Misty, failing to realize the mistake she made last time of screaming aloud, did it again, the teen made his way to the couch once more, axe still in hand. “Come out, come out wherever you are...I have milk and cookies!”

Then, an all too familiar sound was heard from across the room:

“PiiiikaaaaaCHUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”

James was engulfed in Pikachu's electricity and flown into the wall, he collapsed onto the floor in a heap, unconscious.

Everyone emerged from their hiding places, brushing off the dust. Misty gave Pikachu and pat on the head.

“Thanks Pikachu.” Pikachu squeaked in delight.

Ash wearily got up rubbing his head, “That friggin' hurt! Some birthday this has turned out to be.” he whined. “Is James dead yet?” Jessie glanced at her immobile teammate.

“No, he's just knocked out.”

It was difficult to ignore the shaky Brock, curled up in the centre of the room. Well if you had just been kicked in somewhere fragile would you be doing the same?

“Hey, are you gonna be okay Brock?” asked Ash.

“I'll be fine...” Brock weakly replied.

~~~~~

Using some chains that Meowth had found earlier, the group had tied the knocked out James up

and propped him against the wall, the others were sitting back in the middle of the room playing

Truth or Dare.

“Okay Misty, truth or dare?”

“Hmm...truth”

Brock thought for a while.

“Who's hotter: Ash or me?”

Jessie gave an evil smile and rubbed her hands together, “Ooh this is gonna be good!” she giggled.

“Ugh, that's gross! I'm not answering that! I'll take dare instead.” decided Misty, it was Brock's turn to be evil.

“Sing Britney Spears whilst giving me a piggy back.” he declared, an evil glint in his eye.

Everyone laughed as she struggled to keep her balance with a heavy Brock on her shoulders whilst singing 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' rather badly.

“My go!” cried Jessie, “Ash, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

Jessie shot a glance at James still slumped against the wall and had an idea, “Kiss James on both cheeks!”

Ash’s eyes widened. ”I hope you mean the ones on his head…”

Jessie nodded

“Ew! No way!” Ash cried with a disgusted look.

Jess smiled. “Then you'll have to do the forfeit: Kissing Misty on the lips.”

Misty and Ash looked at each other and made pukey noises.

“Kiss Ash?! EW!!”

“I won't kiss Misty!” refused Ash folding his arms.

“Den kiss Jimmy! You a coward or someting?” asked Meowth.

Ash took one look at the Psycho tied up in the corner and sighed, what has he got to lose by kissing another guy on both cheeks? His 'hero' reputation maybe...

He got up and knelt in front of James, after gulping loudly he did a quick, a REALLY quick peck on his cheeks.

The others laughed out loud as Ash returned spitting and rubbing his tongue with his hands, before sitting down he muttered something about Jessie having a dirty mind.

And on that bombshell, they all decided to finally get some sleep as it was 1.00 am.

“But someone needs ta watch Mad man Jim over dere in case he wakes up and picks us off in our sleep” Meowth pointed out, “We gotta take it in turns.”

Brock got some chopsticks out of his bag and began cutting them up, he held out his fist with the sticks poking out the top.

“Shortest stick watches first.”

They all took out a stick, Ash's was the shortest therefore he had to watch James first, he sighed annoyingly.

“Aww, can't Meowth do it? It IS my birthday after all...”

“NO!” everyone yelled.

Defeated, Ash turned around and began to walk back towards him when he stopped dead.

“Oh crap...”

James was gone, all that was there was the chains they had tied him up in and a message on the wall written in blood that read:

'ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JAMES A DULL BOY...'

The house suddenly became chilly, there were creaks on the stairs that got further away, lightning started to strike outside.

“Someone's going upstairs...” Realized Misty, “I can hear them...”

Brock nodded.

“Yeah, I can hear it too. It might be James, we'd better go investigate.”

They slowly tip-toed out the door, flashlight in front of them.

“We could sure use Scooby Doo right now...” Jessie whispered.

~~~~~

The group searched every room on the top floor but found nothing but dusty furniture. The 'voice of the house' continued to play tricks by whispering “...redrum...redrum...redrum...” over and over again.

Suddenly, Brock had a thought.

“Hey, remember when we went ghost hunting earlier, and we wouldn't go into the attic because none of us had the guts? Well what if James is in there? It's the only place we haven't looked yet.”

“Could be, do we have to go up there? I hate this, I wanna go home!!” whined Ash. Everyone (except Brock) rolled their eyes.

“Shut up! Stories like this don't end up with everyone giving up and going home without solving the mystery, just go with it.” Brock stated, pulling a Sherlock Holmes sort of pose complete with pipe and cap.

Ash shrugged and followed the others up the attic stairs.

Jessie slowly and cautiously turned the doorknob and pushed the creaky door open, a cold breeze blew through it sending chills up their spines.

There wasn't a roof to the mansion, it was just a very large area open to the rain that by now was pouring down from dark, thundery clouds.

Lightning illuminated the area that had nothing but some old boxes and some more worn out tatty furniture.

“This place sure has spent a lot a money on furnishings...” noted Brock, shining his flashlight around.

Suddenly Meowth saw some movement to his left, “Over dere, I tink it was him..” he told the others, they began walking cautiously forward.

SLAM!

The door closed rapidly behind them, they all jumped and swiveled round as quickly as a bullet out a gun.

“About time you got here...”

They all swiveled around again and the lightning illuminated a stressed out James with a much larger axe than before, his eye was twitching and his pupils were small. “Your probably wondering what's causing me to go on a killing rampage...”

“Okay, I've seen scary movies,” interrupted Jessie, “I think the house is controlling your brain, you escaped the chains by using some sort of supernatural power and now your going to finish us all off because the house was neglected all those years ago and it wants revenge on humans. Is that right?”

“Forget about the scary movie parodies!” Ash yelled, “We gotta get outta here!” He ran at the door and accidentally pulled the handle off the door. “It's locked! (well duh...) We're all doooooooomed!!”

Misty cracked her knuckles. “Not for long.”

She grabbed Ash round the middle and used his head as a battering ram, she decided to take a run up.

James was levitating over the ground coming towards them, eyes growing red again. Misty charged at the door ignoring Ash's yells to put him down.

On impact, the door opened without difficulty and Misty and Ash tumbled down the stairs, they got trampled by Brock, Jessie, Meowth and Pikachu.

~~~~~

Brock pulled the front doors open and the rain swept into the lobby soaking the kids.

“Go! Go! Go!”

He pushed everyone out the mansion and was about to leave when he heard James behind him. “Jimmy's home sugar!” he cackled and threw his axe straight at Brock.

Brock wasn't prepared for this type of situation so just stood there like a lemon hoping James' aim was as good as a drunk guy trying to pee.

Here it came...

The air was filled with sounds of a metal impact and a blood-curdling scream...

When Brock opened his eyes (as if he could open them, I mean, what the hell IS up with his eyes?), the axe was imbedded in the door, pinning him to it by the collar of his shirt, narrowly missing his neck.

With an almighty pull, Brock freed the axe from the door and tried to be threatening.

“Ha! I know Karate, Tai Kwon Do, Feng Shui, Judo and many other dangerous words! Keep back!” he warned.

James smiled, “Gimme the axe, Brock. Gimme the axe...”

“Ya want the axe? Do ya? Well you can have it!”

Brock, somehow convinced he was invincible, threw the axe in a similar fashion in James' direction, who simply caught the axe in his right hand.

“Thank you...” he said dryly, proceeding towards the shocked Brock who ran out the house screaming like a girl.

“Brock, the keys!” demanded Jessie holding out her hand, Brock shook his head.

“I thought you had them!” he replied, getting into the car with everyone.

“Pika! Pikachu Pi chu Pika!”

“Pikachu last saw them in da house!” Meowth cried, “We can't go back in dere!”

Jessie thought for a moment.

“Maybe I can hot-wire it...”

“Forget it!” screamed Misty, “We're totally screwed, HE'S THERE!!”

Sure enough, James was standing at the side of the car, axe held high above his head. He brought it down and smashed it through the window. He withdrew his blade ready for the final blow...

All of a sudden, lightning shot down and struck the roof of the mansion setting it on fire, the axe dropped out of James' hands, he remained completely still staring blankly into the distance.

The fire on the mansion's roof was spreading rapidly and the smoke was as black as coal.

In ways that no one could explain, James collapsed onto the muddy ground transformed into a gibbering wreck.

After a few minutes of total silence, Ash spoke up. “Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to Ashey, Happy Birthday to me...”

Everyone rolled their eyes.

~~~~~

Wondering what Ash's birthday present was? It was a BIIIIIG smoochero from his mom for being such a brave boy for spending the night in a haunted house.

Crappy present, but then again, Ash is crappy himself so it's just perfect for him.

THE END

Weird Pokemon narrator guy: And so, Ash and his friends have finished another exiting adven-

*Gets shot up the backside by a Tranquillizer Gun*

Me: MUHAHAHAHAHA!!! *sits at the microphone* Is it on? Good, hello all you nice people. I am here to announce that I will soon take over the world! MUHAHAHA- Oh! A slice of Poison Caterers Ltd. pizza! *chomp* Ah, it’s aaaaaaalllllll good people….*faints*