The Timber Gym
-dedicated to Zelda (keep those un-aired episodes coming!)
Our heroes pushed through the vast, wooded forest, not knowing what
they’d find around the corner. Although it wasn’t odd for them to be
lost, something seemed different. Ash tensed up around every turn theypassed.
“I keep expecting to see a Pokčmon, or at least Team Rocket” Ash
muttered. Tracey, grinning, looked up from his tree sketch “We haven’t
seen any Pokčmon, not to mention people since we have been lost.”
“We’ve been lost for three days, Ash. Nothing is going to happen.” Misty
teased. Just then, the bushes beside the trail started moving.
“Oh, boy,” Ash yelled in excitement “A Pokčmon!”
Before the 10-year-old could get out his PokčDex, Gym Leader Brock
stumbled out. He looked tired & his clothes were torn.
“Ash!” Brock said happily “You have to help me, I’ve been lost without
food for two days!”
Ash suddenly turned pale. “Tracey,” he asked “do we have any food left?”
Tracey looked up, cheerfully & said “No, we finished it all of last
night, remember?”They hadn't eaten since then, so they were tired & irritable.
Ash looked hungry. “I’m starving,” he moaned “Brock, why did you have to
mention food?”The Gym leader looked up at the sky which was becoming dark.
“We had better set up camp, you guys.” he said.
They all walked off the trail & became hopelessly lost.
“Oh, great,” Ash complained “now we can’t find the trail.”
Brock looked around & saw a river. “Let’s set up camp there” he said pointing.
Hours later, they all sat in the tent. It was late, & they were all weak
with hunger.
“I didn’t even see a Pokčmon” Ash whined.
“I need to get a sketch of something besides sticks or I think I’ll go
crazy!” Tracey shouted.
Misty was becoming very nervous, being the only girl in a tent alone
with insane boys. Plus, they were in the middle of nowhere, if she
screamed, no one would be there to help.
“No Pokčmon, no food make Ash go crazy.” Ash said eerily.
“Ash, I think you really are going crazy.” Misty warned.
Ash’s eyes darted around suspiciously.
“He’s been driven to insanity!” Tracey announced.
Being reminded of a song, Ash began to sing. “You drive me crazy!” he
shouted with little tone or rhythm.
“Oh no, what have I done?” Misty asked herself, burying her face in herhands.
Brock had drool running down his chin. He was lost in a daze as usual.
“Mmmn, Brittany Spears is soooo hot.” he said in hypnosis.
“I don’t think I can take much more of this!” Misty yelled.
Just then, Ash’s voice rang out in a different song. “C’mon, baby, one
more time!
”“NO!” Misty screamed, grabbing Togepi & running out of the tent.
“I have to get away from them” she explained to the egg Pokčmon as she
picked up her back-pack.“Let’s go down the river.” she said.
She walked for a way & her camp was far out of site. Just when she was
about to turn around & go back, she saw a light.
“Tooooooogeeee Preeeeee!” her Pokčmon cooed.
“She walked on down the river & came upon Team Rocket’s campsite.
Jessie was staring at the river with James & Meowth unconscious at her feet.
“Um, hello.” Misty hesitated, these were her enemies.
“Oh, hi.” Jessie replied.
Misty looked at James & Meowth & decided to ask. “What happened to them?
Blow to the head from a frying pan?”
Jessie looked at her in confusion. “No, what are you talking about?”
Misty decided to drop it. Jessie looked at her partners & then at Misty.
“Maybe you can give me some advice,” She said. Misty listened politely.
“Meowth got thirsty & took a drink from the river. He looked dizzy &
then he fell over. Then, that’s when James decided that the water was
okay, so he took a drink. The same thing happened to him, & I was just
wondering. . .”
Misty became a little worried.
“Yes?” she asked.
“I was just wondering if I should drink some.” Jessie finished.
Misty got a sweat drop & fell over. Jessie laughed & helped her up.
“We’re bonding, aren’t we?” She asked.
“Yea, I guess so,” Misty replied. “I wonder how the boys are doing.”
***
Ash & Brock were chanting as they lowered Tracey head first into avolcano.
“Oooga chaka, ooga chaka!” They yelled as their companion’s head came
dangerously close to the molten rock.
“Hey, Stop! It’s not funny anymore!” Tracey screamed.
Brock & Ash were applying bright red war paint.“We need food!” Ash announced.
“And girls!” Brock yelled.“I don’t have any!” The artist screamed.
***
“Let’s not talk about them.” groaned Jessie, remembering how twerpy Ash was.
Misty looked over at her. “Do James & Meowth need a doctor?” she asked.
“Who cares?” Jessie asked.
Misty was getting kind of bored. “Jessie, what should we do?”
Jessie thought for a moment. “How about giving Pokčmon makeovers?” she
finally said.
Misty liked makeovers, but she wasn’t that bored. “Let’s play doctor!”she said.
As weird as this may sound, it wasn’t very much fun playing doctor when
the patients weren’t awake. So, half an hour later, they were bored again.
“Now what?” asked Jessie.“Let’s make our Pokčmon pretty!” she said giggling.
After about twenty minutes of eye-liner & blush, the girls were once
again bored to death. Jessie didn’t feel like being alone with Misty
anymore, so they both wound up slapping James & Meowth until they wokeup.
“What’s da big idea?” Meowth screamed rubbing his now red face.
***
Now, Tracey & Ash stood around Brock as he attempted to cook dirt.
“I think we could fry it.” he said hopefully.
Ash’s stomach growled. “That’ll never work.” he moaned.
“If it doesn’t, I’ll cook rocks!” Brock said with optimism.
***
“I think we need to play a prank!” Misty giggled.
“But, aren’t they your friends?” Jessie asked.
“Yea, but they are starting to get on my nerves.”
Jessie & James looked at each other & nodded.
“Sure,” James said “we’d be glad to help.”
***
Brock had given up & was in the fetal position crying like a baby.
“This sucks!” He screamed “I’m starving & there is nothing to eat!”
He stood up & started hitting a tree.” and there aren’t even any girls in
this damn forest!”
Ash & Tracey looked at each other, frightened.
***
“So, what are we going to do?” James asked.
Misty sat & thought. She started laughing evily.
“I tink she’d make a good bad-guy.” Meowth told his team mates “She’s
got dis evil ting down.”
***
The boys wound up eating bark off of logs & dried leaves. They all tried
to sleep, but couldn’t. Ash rolled over & whined.
“Brock,” he muttered to his old pal “I think those leaves were poisonous.”
Brock just layed on his back silently.
“Brock, are you asleep?” Ash asked, disappointed.
“No.” The Gym Leader replied.
“Sorry, I can’t tell with those eyes.” Ash apologized.
Then, Tracey screamed like a girl, causing the other two to jump.
“What?!” They angrily asked the terrified artist.
Tracey pointed to the wall of the tent. “Th . . th. . there was a , a ,a.”
“Spit it out!” Brock yelled, half crazed from hunger.
Tracey shined a flash light at the wall of the tent and a shadow appeared.
“That!” he screamed.
Brock & Ash stared at him blankly.
“It’s a freaking tree!” Brock yelled.
The shadow then started moving across the tent. They all screamed &
hugged each other, Team Rocket-style. Brock grabbed the light & turned it off.
“M..m..m.. maybe..bee it’ll g..g..go away.” he squeaked.
They all closed their eyes & started whining.
“We have to get rid of it!” Tracey demanded.
Brock looked at Ash. “I can only think of one way.”
***
Outside the tent, Team Rocket & Misty were tying to keep from laughing.
Suddenly, they heard something very frightening coming from inside the tent.
“I’m livin’ laveda loca! Oh, la, la, something somethin’. Her skin was
the color of mocha!” The tuneless, beatless child sang.
They all screamed as loud as the could and retreated back to their camp.
***
The boys cheered.“I can’t believe that worked!” Brock laughed.
“The real Ricky Martin sings better than you!” Tracey exclaimed between giggles.
Ash sat & pouted. “No wonder Lapras wouldn’t let me sing to it.” he groaned.
***
“Dat was da woist ting dat ever happened to me!” Meowth screamed.
James was covering his ears. “Make the pain stop, Jessie!” He began to cry.
“That’s why I left!” Misty screamed in anger. “Ash is such a stupid kid!”
Jessie was trying to calm her friends down. She hugged James and began to
speak softly. “Meowth, James, don’t cry. It’s okay now.” she said sweetly.
Meowth sat up and James wiped his nose with his sleeve.
“Do you do this often?” Misty asked, beginning to develop pity for Team Rocket.
Jessie nodded. “Every day, being ‘blasted off’ gets them so worked up.”
***
Ash looked at his friends. “I think it was Misty!” he frowned.
Tracey shook his head. “No, I heard more people.”
Brock thought for a minute. “After being stopped by them every day for
about a year of my life, I have deliberated. . .”
He was interrupted by Ash’s ‘I don’t get it’ look. If Brock was capable,
he would have rolled his eyes.
“It was Team Rocket.” he mumbled.
Ash clenched his fists. “I think we have a traitor.” he growled.
***
“We have to get them back!” Misty shouted.Team Rocket stared at her.
“I have the perfect idea.” Misty said smiling.
***
“I know,” Ash declared “the way to fight a prank is with another prank!”
Tracey got out his sketch pad. “Let’s map it out!”
***
“And then.” Misty continued “I bring them to the gym.”
Meowth smiled “So dey tink you’re on dere side, right?”
Misty nodded, with a big grin.
“Okay” Jessie said. “we’ll be ready by the time you show up!”
***
“Okay,” Tacey said looking at a crudely mapped out sketch. “let’s get
the stuff & go!”
Ash laughed his annoying laugh as he picked up a bucket of paint.
“This’ll be the best joke ever!”
Just that moment, Misty ran up to them, very exited.
“Ash,” She yelled “I think I saw a gym out here!”
Ash knew that Misty was a liar, but he didn’t want to take his chances
with a badge.
“Oh, boy” Ash shouted “let’s go right now!”
To Ash’s disappointment, they had to pick up camp first.
“C’mon, hurry!” he shouted.
Misty helped Brock fix breakfast, boiled grass. Ash was becoming impatient.
“I want my badge!” He shrieked.
As soon as everyone was finished, Misty lead the way to the ‘Gym’.
“It’s somewhere around here.” She said.
Then, they came upon a huge tent. Despite the fact that a Hot Air
balloon that looked like a Meowth was outside and the tent’s label said
‘Team Rocket Co. Property’, Ash knew this was the place.
“Wow,” he squeaked “what gym is this?”
Misty giggled “It’s called the Timber gym”
Ash’s eyes widened “Cool, what badge do I get?”
Misty struggled to keep from laughing. “You have to defeat the leader,
Leaf for the ‘Twig Badge’”
Ash started jumping up & down. “I can’t wait!”
He ran into the gym with the others close behind. Pulling a Pokčball
from his belt, he looked for his opponent. When he couldn’t find any
body, he yelled “I am Ash Ketchum from Pallet, I challenge you, Leaf!”
A woman In a black ninja outfit with red hair coming out came up to him.
“Are you here to fight, little boy?” She asked.“Yea!”
“Okay, let’s have a match.” she grinned.
“Go, Charizard!” Ash shouted, throwing a Pokčball.
As usual, he was burnt to a crisp. The ninja started to laugh.
“Your Pokčmon is poorly trained!” she giggled.
Ash called back his Pokčmon. “Return!”
“I win!” The woman said, as she put her hand out. Ash sighed & handed
her half of his money.
“I demand a rematch for my badge!” the child shouted.
“I’m not the gym leader,” The woman smirked “he is.” she said pointing
to a man in a black suit & mask.
Despite the fact that he had Blue
James-like hair, Ash knew that he was Leaf the gym leader.
“Oh, I can’t wait!” Ash yelled “Go, Squirtle!”
“Go, Starmie, Watergun!”
Squirtle took the hit pretty hard.
“Bubble beam!” Ash shouted.
“Skull Bash, Starmie!”In seconds, Squirtle was out of the match.
“That’s not fair,” Ash groaned “Starmie aren’t even supposed to know skull bash!”
Misty laughed when Ash sent out his Charizard again.“C’mon, Pal!”
The child’s plan failed when he was burned by flame-thrower. He had to
call Charizard back since it wouldn’t battle.
“
You only get one more.” the leader spoke.
“Go, Pikachu!”
The water Pokčmon lost without a fight. Ash cheered as the gym leader
called it back.“Go, Arbok!”
The Female Ninja looked angrily at him. “You had better be careful!”
The Pikachu beat the Snake Pokčmon as well.
“Only one thing to do. . .” The leader said sadly.
“It’ll never work!” The ninja yelled.“Go, Victreebell!”
The Flower-like creature decided that his head looked delicious.
“Mmm! HHmmmmn!!!!”
The female ninja gasped & called Victreebell back, nearly saving the man
from suffocating to death. Ash jumped up and cheered.
“Yea! I get the Twig Badge!”
He was interrupted by the gasps of the gym leader.
“I was nearly killed, you inconsiderate little twerp!”
A very short ninja with pointed ears & a tail walked up to Ash & handed
him a stick.“Dis is da badge.”
Misty rolled on the floor with laughter, but was interrupted by Ash’s
victory phrase.
“I beat Leaf! The Twig badge is mine! I’m one step closer to the Pokčmon league!”
She couldn’t believe he was so stupid.
“Ash,” she screamed “you were tricked!”
Ash started bragging about his ‘fabulous win’.“Wait’ll Gary Oak sees this!”
Misty grabbed him by the collar & screamed in his face.
“It’s obviously Team Rocket! The tent has a big, red ‘R’ on it for
crying out loud! It’s a stupid, lame scheme, you nimrod!”
Ash stared at her with a stupid grin. He held up the stick.
“Well, at least I got the Twig Badge!”
Misty groaned & dropped him.
“Ugg! I can’t take this any more, Ash you’re a total moron!”
She pulled the masks off of Team Rocket.
“Look! See, it’s Jessie, James & Meowth! And you’re stupid badge is as tick!!”
Ash was too busy pinning the twig inside his jacket.
“C’mon let’s go to the next gym.” he smirked.
Misty screamed & Brock put his hand on her shoulder.
“Calm down. Let’s have some fun with this.” he laughed.
As our heroes exited the Timber gym, they headed deeper and deeper into the forest.
“So, what is the next gym?” Ash asked his pals.
Brock & Misty smiled.
“Well, the ‘Diglet Hill Gym’ isn’t too far from here.” Misty giggled.
“Yea,” Brock continued “ you could win the ‘clump of dirt badge’”
Ash clenched his fists. “Diglet Hill Gym, here we come!”
Ash began to run down the path.
“Ash, wait up!” Tracey yelled, running to catch up with him.
“Hey,” Misty said to the artist “you can sketch the gym leader!”
Brock started to laugh and Tracey looked astonished.
“What’s the leader called?” the exited artist asked.
“Uum, . . . Dusty!” Brock added.
Tracey and the others ran up to Ash.
“I’m gonna sketch Dusty, the leader!” Tracey bragged.
“Let’s go!” Ash shouts in pride.
“Hey,” Brock whispered to Misty “How about the chunk of rock badge?”
Misty giggled “From the canyon gym!”
“He’ll have to beat Gym Leader Stone!” Brock laughed.
“Oh!” Misty said “What about the Beach badge?”
Brock laughed hard, but managed to get out “You better look out for Gym
Leader Sandy!"
Well, Ash has won the Twig badge, and is on his way to get the Clump of
dirt, chunk of rock, and beach badges. It was definitely a trick, but will
Ash ever realize it? Wait a minute, what happened to Team Rocket? And
doesn’t James still have Misty’s Starmie?” How many fake gyms will Ash
waste his time with? Where did that volcano that Tracey was in come
from? What ever happened to Gym Leader Brock? In the next episode,
all this and more will be explained. Of course by explained, I mean
forgotten and never mentioned again. Who really knows what they’ll find tomorrow?
-The End-
