self-expression

`;)`	`self-expression`

Expressions of oneself...

allowed i have allowed you to rape me of my kindess love compassion understanding then you abused me and used me you left me with nothing when i needed you the most i woke from my coma and decided this is the last time you are dimissed
despair deep despair is what i awaken to everyday i did not want to get up but God reached out his hand and said rise and so i did if it was for man i would be dead in my grave but it was God all by himself that has sustained me to the point i am today because with God i am something without God i am nothing
depression depression had me so down to the point i thought i could live no more no one around me could truly say they understood how i felt because it came a point when words could not describe the hurt and pain i felt everyday when i woke up i didn't want to live anymore i didn't want to experience that kind of pain again i didn't want to experience the low of all lows i just wanted to go home and be in peace with my grandma but God stepped in and said i'm not through with you yet it is not your time you have not fulfilled your purpose so with his help i walked through the valley of depression holding God's hand and he holding mind
shattered shattered dreams lost hope empty void broken pieces of what use to be shattered unable to pick up it will only cause more pain dark empty no room brokenheart shattered million pieces unable to pick up will cause more pain shattered dreams of the future but i must pick them up so i can move forward but there are so many pieces of shattered dreams hope and love i do not know where to begin to put the pieces back together again heart heart aches tears fall depression comes hurt grows giant hole empty heart tears fall all alone darkness falls heart aches all alone depression comes darkness falls pain grows tears fall left alone all alone love gone empty heart darkness falls need you i need you where did you go? you told me i got your back so, where did you go? you told me you loved me but you don't show me i need you to console me tell me everything will be alright but will it? i can't tell 'cause your not there to tell me any different so, tell me where did you go? since you told me - i got your back don't live here anymore love don't live here anymore i loved you more than anything in the world i loved you through your past and our present i loved you in spite of... i loved you unconditionally i loved you with my whole heart i loved you for you and what do you do? you betray that love and leave me brokenhearted and loveless so now love no longer lives here anymore friends friends where? friends when? friends how? friends what? need friends friends gone all gone friends gone where? when? how? what? gone? left alone no where to turn their all gone love love unconditional love forever love no matter what love full heart hurt love gone empty heart left broken love unconditional now gone a child dark damp cold wind dirty corner shaking child sheet tied all around crouched down footsteps door creak sound whip hit cry blood floor spirit broken lively spirit lively spirit snap shattered dreams deep sadness tired no sleep deeper sadness no return small spirit last breathe must go - disappear room dark room tattered drape dim light empty chair small child dirty corner all alone no one around lock door no way to get out small child all alone no one cares they all have gone and nothig remains but... a dark room with an empty chair space small space no air can't breathe going to die space getting smaller less air can't scream must breathe can't run small space disappeared gone gone away never to return broken heart broken million pieces no return tears of -- hurt pain sorrow snap no return pick up the pieces where they go? all gone no one around all gone end of the world? life stops head spins heart aches tears flow no return what to do? no where to go who to turn to? million pieces on the floor no glue, no tape put it back together life goes on stand still no return all alone snap don't give up now no return heart broken snap darkness all around heart --- broken dim room man sheets clothes wrapped warm dark hope none help no where floor hard man there breathe slow help no where life at wits end love gone help is there help? man floor hanging on dim room grows dark little hope left now gone last breathe man on the floor dim room now dark Contemplation I sit I sit and contemplate About the way things could be But would it really make a difference Would you love me more? Would you care for me more? Would you share loving and encouraging words more? Would you even care that I turned into a beautiful woman? Will time ever develop a positive loving realtionship? Filled with... Love Compassion Hugs and Kisses These things are the greatest contemplation of all time for me Awake I awake To negative words I rise... To brutal and harsh words Then I walk into a room A room full of hurt Hurt that is being used against me I try to counteract it with love But it gets harder everyday I'm worn down by the words "Dumb" "Stupid" "If it wasn't _____" The words, phrases, and even monologues begin to beat me spirit And I'm down for the count When I get up I'm covered with bruises and blood And all I can do is cry Cry in frustration Hope that one day that things will subject to change I've been beaten so much that physical signs are beginning to show I cover them up So no one will suspect anything abnormal is going on I begin to grow quiet I talk less And I hide the scars from the world And when no one is around I try to cleanse my soul And if I cry around you I try not to draw attention to myself Because if I do You might get close enough to see the bruises No makeup No clothes Nothing Can hide these bruises I endure everyday Its nothing but my trust in someone higher than me that has kept me here in the battle of life Thoughts Thoughts Toughts run through my mind Thoughts about how I want life to be What I expect out of my life At times I get totally lost in my thoughts That I lose all and total track of time My thoughts, my dreams Are what keep me going at times in this world of chaos Its the time in life when everything can stand still And nothing else really matters No friends No money to pay for school Unpaid bills A sick body Sick love ones Stress Negative forces and energy It really doesn't matter My thoughts are mine Mine to escape Escape to that place that I make my wildest dreams come true in real life My thoughts and meditation on the Word keeps me in the game I am Somebody I am somebody I am everything you said I never was I became what you said I couldn't do Every word you tried to use against me Was fire for me to go and do great things I've proved you wrong With little or no help from you Now what more words? More hurtful beatings? More bruises more blood more suffering ??? I made it then I can make it now And do even greater things You never tell me your proud And when you do its once in a blue moon But you can tell me how dumb I am or how I won't be anything But never a true encouraging word I overcame once and I can do it again You knock me down and I got up I became more than what you ever expected And still it isn't good enough for your perfect world I am not you! I am not the people who hurt you!! So stop taking it out on me! Encourage me to do greater things than you Instead of..."your whole life you've done nothing but things to spite me" That's not encouraging That's not positive That's not building me up Its tearing me down You may tear me down, but I will do even greater things Because all things are possible with my FATHER The one who stuck with me and walk with me to the point I am today I am somebody and will be somebody 'cause my FATHER says I am somebody menu Home l MVR Poetry l Poetryl New Beginnings Poetry Poetry.com

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