(21) Four Years Gone

(At local Pizza Hut)

She could handle being somewhat ignored. They were, after all, with HIS friends. But after countless stolen glances in Chloe’s direction, Jan had enough. Jan tapped his leg to motion her exit from the booth. When Jason saw her put on her coat, he stood up. “Where you going?” She grabbed some money out of her purse and threw it on the table “This should cover both of us.” She stormed away, stomach clenching when she made eye contact with Chloe. Jan mumbled a polite “Hi Belle, Mimi” when she passed the trio’s table.

Jason uttered a “What the f---?” under his breath and grabbed his own coat. He caught up with Jan in the lobby. “Why did you just up and leave?”
Jan shook her head in amazement, “You sonofabitch! I can’t believe you just did that right in front of me.”
“What’d I do?” he begged, suddenly feeling caught.
Jan threw the door open and stomped into the parking lot. “You just spent our entire lunch gawking at HER!”

Jason followed her, still ignoring her comment. They approached his recently purchased Toyota Tacoma truck and he unlocked the passenger side. He opened the door for her and shut it was once she was secured. Once he entered on his side, he remained speechless. He turned on the engine and paused to pull money out of his wallet. He handed her a $20. Jan looked out the window, refusing his payback.
“Take the money!” he insisted.
Jan shook her head.

He sat it next to her in the seat and flipped on the radio. He turned up the volume when Fuel’s “Hemorrhage” came on. Jan waited a few blocks before glancing in his direction. “You don’t have anything to say do you?” Jason’s eyes shifted nervously over the traffic, avoiding her gaze. He turned the volume up higher.
Bastard!.

He came to a stop at one of the lights. He looked over to her, “What you want me to say Jan?”
Jan gave a sarcastic laugh, “I guess nothing Jason. In fact, I’ll just forget it since you seem to want me to.”
He lowered the volume, “What Jan? WHAT?”
“Did you have a good weekend?” she asked calmly.
Jason shrugged, “I guess. I hung out with my dad and my brother. I told you that.”
“Hmmmm, yeah. I remember. Hockey in Chicago.”
“So?”
“Did you run into anyone interesting?”
This time, Jason blushed. Unable to meet her eyes again, he jumped on the defensive. “Is this twenty questions or what?”
“It’s a simple question Jason.”
“What are you getting at?”
“How’s Chloe?”
Jason looked at her mouth, “Chloe?”
Jan pointed to the green light. “That’s right Jason, Chloe! I ran into Philip this weekend. It seems his friends and newly EX-girlfriend also ventured to the Windy City this weekend. In fact, they didn’t mention a word about it to him. He had to find out the hard way. I guess it was a secret.”
“Again, you’re point?”
Jan gaped at him, “I can’t BELIEVE YOU! You can’t even ADMIT it, can you? You must really take me as some kind of idiot. But I’m not. I KNOW you’re screwing around with her behind my back.”
Jason remained silent.
Jan glared at him, shaking her head. Her anger was rising to such a level now it was nearly incapacitating. “If you got the balls to do it, then you might as well tell me to my face and get it over with!”
Again, no answer.
Jan looked around wildly, “Ahh FUCK you Jason. Fuck YOU!!” Once he came to a stop at the intersection, she jumped out of the truck.
Jason reached after her, “What the hell are you doing? Get back in the truck Janice!”
Jan slammed the door behind her and walked away.
Jason turned at the intersection to follow her. He rolled down his window and yelled, “Janice L! Get in the truck!”
Jan crossed the street behind him. Jason slammed his fist on the dashboard and pulled ahead. He flipped a quick illegal U-turn and followed her again. “Why the FUCK are you doing this! It’s almost a mile back to the school.”
Jan shook her head, “I don’t care Jason. I refuse to ride with you.”
“Get in the TRUCK!”
Realizing he wasn’t going to stop following her, Jan cut across one of the residences. She walked towards the back of the house until she reached the neighborhood’s communal walking path. She heard Jason slam on the gas once she was out of sight. Jan pulled the hood of her coat over her ears and hugged herself as she shivered. It was cold, but she didn’t care. She’d walk ten miles if she had to. She refused to subject herself to his denial.
***
The tardy bell ran just as she entered the school. She found him waiting for her at her locker. Jan pulled her hood back and avoided eye contact. When he saw her approach, he reached for her combination lock. Jan smacked his hand way. “I can get it myself.”
Jason stared at her intently, gripping his hands on her locker door as she took off her coat and reached for her books. “Don’t ever pull that s--- again,” he commanded.
Jan slammed her locker shut and walked off. Jason followed her and grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to face him. “Hey.”
Jan met his eyes, offering an irritable “What?”
“I’m coming to your game tonight.”
Jan rolled her eyes and walked away, “Don’t bother.”
“I’m coming anyway,” he said after her.
Jan stopped and whipped around, “No you’re not Jason. Fuck you AND your guilt.”
“Janice L…”
Jan squared her shoulders, “Stop it now Jason… Just take your whore, and get out of my life. I mean it. You know I don’t need this s--- right now.”

With all that needed to be said, she stormed off.

Alone in the middle of the now empty hallway, Jason let out a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “Damnit!!!” he yelled.
****
He showed up all right.
And she ignored him.

It was midway through the fourth quarter when Jan stole a quick glance behind her at the audience. The crowd was the usual: littered with parents, siblings, and noted lack of student body, save for a few boyfriends and fellow female jocks. Same ole sexist shit. The girl’s basketball team drew a fraction of the audience of the boy’s team. It didn’t even matter that the girls’ team was one of the top ranked teams in the district. Jan was lucky to be one of the starting juniors.

At the moment, she was on the bench for a strategic cool-down. She was down to one more foul before she’d be out of the game. It was ironic really. Of all nights to make him the proudest, it had to be tonight. Jason always said one of the things he admired most about Jan was her aggressive athleticism. Always pushing the envelope, just like him. Her “take no prisoners” sportsmanship equaled his own- a common bond that always drew him to her.

As she watched her teammates in action, Jan stared at the floor as her mind flashback to a rather recent memory…This past summer on a hot August day… She and Jason engaged in a game of one-on-one in his driveway. Jason gorgeous as ever, shirtless in his athletic shorts. Golden dark tan… Jan donned in her sports bra and denim shorts, hair tied up in a tight bun. Jason taunting her, constantly challenging her to steal the ball away from him. “Come on shorty, come on, take it” as he dribbled back and forth between his legs. “Come on SHORTY! You can do better than that. STEAL it baby.”… Always breaking into a sweat, but rising to the challenge.

As grueling and intimidating as it was, it paid off.

Tonight, despite her “height disadvantage”, Jan played her best game ever. She broke the school record for steals AND assists. Normally the coach discouraged her level of aggressiveness displayed, but on that night, he didn’t seem to care. Because of her, they were winning. He benched her early in the forth quarter when she received her fourth foul. He praised her and explained she needed her in the final two minutes.

Once the coach released her back to the court, the bull was on the loose again. She fell into a trance of focus, ignoring the shouts of HIM pacing along the sideline. Yelling, whistling, countless claims of “That’s my girl!”

Bastard, she thought. HE created this monster before him.

Not just from a few rounds of one-on-one either. He gave her plenty of reason to channel that anger…

After the victory march, she headed straight to the locker room. She took her sweet time cleaning up and dressing, hoping he would get annoyed enough to leave. To play it safe, she snuck out the back exit. Halfway to her car, she noticed Jason standing at the front entrance of the gymnasium. Jan quickened her pace, hoping he wouldn’t see her.

Jason spotted her attempted getaway and yelled, “Janice Lauren!!! Jan broke into a run, and he yelled out “Wait! I got to talk to you!!” Jan kept running until she reached her BMW. Jason chased after her, “I got to TALK to you!” Jan opened the door quickly and jumped inside, locking the door behind her. She turned on the car just as he reached her, pounding on her window.

Jan peeled away, tires squealing. Out of her rearview mirror, she could see him running after her until he gave up. Jan threw on the radio to drown out the pounding of her head. She had to remind herself to breathe. Her tuner was stationed to QROCK. Jason’s station. His “guy music” as she liked to kid. Playing the same song from earlier today when they were still together. Jan snapped it off, unable to take the lyrics of “Hemorrhage.”

Don’t fall away, and leave me to myself
Don’t fall away, and leave love bleeding in my hands…

Jan choked as the first wave of tears came. Unable to fight it, she withdrew further resistance. She pulled her car over, in no condition to drive…Reminder #1, his music. From now on, she could never hear Fuel, Nickelback, 3 Doors Down, Limp Biskit or Linkin Park without thinking of him.

And so there it was, four years gone.

Down the drain, just like that. All because of Chloe Lane.