Absence makes the heart grow fonder….

That and the boy needed to think already! ;)

Rated R for adult language. Oh, and don’t let the title fool ya! Er, maybe

:D,

Carrie

(32) The Asshole

Jason was on a night flight to La Guardia with his father when he realized it was truly over with her- Jan. He left his head phones while he dozed off- rising to consciousness as the truth became revealed. He had listened to Linkin Park’s “Hybrid Theory” time after time, usually his favorite songs, “Papercut”, “Crawling”, and “Points of Authority” while skimming or disregarding the rest. But these lyrics were singing to his subconscious. What his mind had been telling him all week as he tried to make sense of it all…

I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I…

After the song finished, he checked the track number and name…

#8. In The End.

Jason stared at the title track- it said it all, sealing the fate. He spent the entire week doing his best to avoid any deep thoughts of women. Last Friday when he came home from school, his father asked him if he wanted to go buck hunting for the last week of the season. Jason jumped at the opportunity. Especially since his parents had no qualms about him missing so much school. Within an hour, he was packed and on the way to Pittsburgh with his father.

His planned worked for the most part. Between all the drinking, card playing, and hunting with his favorite cousins and uncle, he was preoccupied. But once he was stuck by himself in a tree, alone for hours, patiently waiting a ten-point, his mind flicked back and forth between two images. The first one was of Chloe in the shower, a smile of awakened pleasure after he stole her virginity. The other was of Jan, with Philip draped all over her in the hallway at school.

Jan… It wasn’t until he saw her with Philip and she so bluntly informed him that she slept with Kiriakis that he understood what he had done. She threw the same trick right back at him, only quicker, and with much less subtlety. With her, it was always one extreme or another. When she was good, she was very good, and when she was bad, she was beyond bad. He fell into her emotional yo-yo of a trap for over four years. Not to mention he always fell prey to her cues of guilt. She was amazing in her own way- loyal and adoring to a fault, yet cunning and more manipulative than he could imagine from any seasoned adult.

He realized he still had feelings for her, and probably always would. He cared for her. They had a lot of memories. But now, it was different. He was tired of their relationship and exhausted from the games- never knowing what was next. The arguing had become more frequent. She was clingier, less trusting. And yet she was cool as a cat when she set him free. Normally he could put up with it all of it, but lately, he didn’t care anymore.

Chloe… So he fell for another girl. Why did it have to be such a bad thing? He couldn’t help it. Even from day one, Chloe intrigued him with her masked weirdness. Part of him knew that she wasn’t the freak she portrayed herself to be. Deep down, she was beautiful. Every time she shot him a cold glare with those ice blue eyes when he or Jan tormented her- he felt unease, knowing the joke was really on them in their obvious immaturity.

The more she revealed herself, her beauty and strength, the more intrigued he became. Until he couldn’t think of any else but her. What it would be like to be near her, to smell her, touch her, to be inside her all day, and all night. Everything about her was down right intimidating – she was even better than the depths of his wildest dreams.

He instinctively shut one door as he opened another…

*************

(Week later, Friday night in New York, Angela Welles apartment)

Angela waited until their father left to visit a friend on Wall Street before giving Jason the news.

“You’re going to be an uncle.”

“Huh?”

“Brother, I am FOUR months pregnant.”

Jason stared at her, “You’re shitting me.”

“No I’m not.”

“Who is the father?” he asked, flabbergasted. Angela was 22 and unwed.

“Jean-Luc, he’s a photographer.”

“You’re shitting me. Does mom know?”

“Not yet.”

“What about Dad?”

“HELL NO! Are you crazy?”

“Dad will kill him.”

“You know it,” she retorted.

“Who is this guy, I mean, are you two together?”

Angela looked away, “No, not really.”

“I don’t get it.”

“He doesn’t know yet.”

“You haven’t told him?”

“No, I haven’t. Jean Luc’s kind of iffy about things like this.”

“Iffy about what?”

“Pregnancies…”

Jason stared at her, wanting further explanation.

Angela blushed and looked away, “What? He has other kids, that’s all.”

“Sounds like a real winner Ang.”

“I’m working on it.”

“I bet you are. Is he even here?”

“He’s in Milan right now. I’m going to tell him, when the moment is right, that’s all.”

Angela became quiet and stroked her long hair. Jason didn’t know what to say, not a clue. His sister was knocked up by a French photographer, and she had stars in her eyes.

“What about your modeling?” he murmured, suddenly getting lost in her ritual. It reminded him of Chloe.

She gave him a dirty look when she saw the gleam in his eye, “What are you looking at?”

Jason met her eyes, “Your hair, it just reminded me of someone. Yours is the same length as hers.”

Angela stopped stroking and remained silent, wanting to avoid his question.

Until he asked her again. She let out an irritated huff, “I don’t know Jason, I’m not really worried about it.”

“That’s nice Angela, real responsible. Can I be there when you tell mom and dad, and you explain how you’re not worried?”

“Forget I brought it up.”

“Fine,” he said, caving.

“So who is this girl I remind you of?”

“Your hair, not you.”

“Whatever smart ass.”

“Just some girl I’m seeing,” he said.

“Some girl? You and Jan aren’t still together?”

He shook his head and whispered a simple, “History.”

Angela raised her eyebrow, “Who is the girl?”

“A girl from school. Actually, she started modeling for mom’s agency.”

Angela’s eyes widened, “Is that the one girl mom was telling me about. She’s supposed to be really pretty I guess.”

“She gorgeous,” Jason assured her.

“I know who you’re talking about. Long dark hair…”

“That’s her.”

“Her picture is on mom’s website, right?”

Jason nodded and leaned against the counter.

“So have you guys…you know,” she twisted her hips provocatively, “chitty chitty bang bang?”

Jason smirked, “What do you care if we have?”

Angela shrugged, “I don’t. I was just curious. But I’m sure you have, you’re a Welles. We’re all freaks, we get it from mom and dad.”

“You’re sick” he answered in disgust and returned to the living room.

Angela followed him, still teasing. “You know exactly what I’m talking about! That time when we camping with mom and dad in Pennsylvania, and they started doing it in the middle of the night right there in front of us because they thought we were asleep. But they ended up waking us up...”

Jason grimaced at the memory and went to the room’s only window, “Shut up Angela.”

Angela started laughing when she realized she pushed a button, “That was so hilarious! You were what, 8, 9? You woke up and said, ‘Mom, why are you making that noise?’ Matt and I didn’t know whether to puke or to bust out laughing. You had no idea what was going on. And they had no shame.”

Jason ran his fingers through his hair and let out a grunt. “You would laugh at something like that! That was some traumatic shit and you thought it was funny?”

Angela held on to her gut to try to stop laughing, “That’s just it, it wasn’t funny. But you made it funny, now that I look back.”

“Parents aren’t supposed to have sex,” Jason explained firmly, “It’s the rule.”

Angela smiled, “It’s the rule, huh? So how do you think me, Matt, and you came about?”

Jason turned to her and answered with a point blank, “A freaking stork drop us off, alright? Parents don’t have sex, period. Now stop talking about it cuz you’re grossing me the fuck out.”

Angela threw her arms around Jason and stared out the window with him, “Look at you! All sensitive.”

Jason shook off his case of the willies, “Now I can’t have sex for like a…month.”

Angela looked up to her younger brother in admiration, “Does that mean you’re sleeping sex with this girl?”

Jason only smiled.

Angela squeezed him tighter, “You are, I can tell. It’s the freak within.”

Jason released her grip and walked away. “I can’t help it, she’s fine as hell.”

Angela’s face fell in disappointment, “Jason, tell me you’re not playing this girl.”

“I’m not,” he assured her, sitting on her couch.

She took a seat across from him, “Don’t be a little whore like Matt.”

Jason gaped at her, “You’re one to talk! Matt told me about you reputation in high school. Shit, all his friends wanted to bang his older sister cuz they heard you put out, and you put out BIG TIME.”

“That was all rumors,” she said defensively.

Jason leaned forward to her, “So you’re saying you can look me in the eye and admit you didn’t sleep with at least, what… ten guys while you were in high school?”

Angela sat back and refused to answer.

Jason smiled at her, “That’s what I thought.”

She leaned forward again, “There were A LOT of lies spread about me, and I mean A LOT.”

“That’s cuz you’re a girl,” he replied bluntly

“Yeah, and its bullshit.”

Jason shrugged, “Yeah, but that’s life. It isn’t fair. Either way, I’m nothing like you and player Matt. Unlike you guys, I’ve only been with TWO people,” he said, holding up two fingers. “TWO.”

“Good for you,” she answered flatly.

“Janice L, and Chloe,” he said, rubbing it in her face.

Angela grabbed his fingers, “You’re such an angel.”

“Not really,” he answered slyly, leaning back. He smiled, “Let’s just say that when I do get my freak on, I get it on very well.”

She released his fingers, “What about this Chloe girl, is she a freak too?”

Jason smiled, “No, Chloe isn’t like that. She’s innocent.”

“Whatever,” she answered coolly.

“She is, for real. Chloe was a virgin.”

“Until you broke her in.” She confirmed.

Jason bit his lips and shrugged, “Hey, someone was going to do it. Better me than… someone else.”

Angela pointed to him, “You stalled. Did you have some competition?”

“No!” he said, blushing.

“Sure you did. Who was it?”

“No one.”

“Yes you did. Speak!” she commanded.

He hesitated before explaining, “It was just some guy she was dating before she and I hooked up.”

“Who was he? Anyone I know?”

“I doubt it- Phillip Kiriakis. Does that ring a bell?”

Angela shook her head, “Not really. The name sounds kind of familiar. But I never really paid attention to the kids your age.”

“Yeah well the guy hangs out in my crowd, and his parents are completely loaded. Chloe was dating him for awhile before she and I hooked up.”

Angela returned the famous Welles sly grin, “Jason honey, did you steal this girl away from him?”

Jason stood up, “No, not really.”

“You did, didn’t you?”

“It’s not like that Ang. It wasn’t planned, or some scheme. It just sorta happened. I was really attracted to the girl, and I guess it became mutual. One thing led to another and then, you know, shit happens.”

“So who broke up with who first?”

“She broke up with him.”

“Oh my God! And that was your cue to break up with Jan? I bet that girl was flippin!”

“Actually, Jan broke up with me.”

“Huh?” Angela wheezed, genuinely surprised.

“I had a hard time doing it. I felt guilty.”

“Oh please!”

“But she knew. She could sense it, or see it. You know that women’s intuition thing.”

“Yes, I do. But I must say, that is surprising. Definitely an interesting twist.”

“Oh, that aint even the half of it. As soon as Chloe and I hooked up, Philip and Jan hooked up too.”

“Scandalous!” she whispered, now mocking.

“They come to school one day just hanging all over each other, which totally threw me off.”

“Go Jan!”

“Hey, whose side are you on?”

“It’s one big soap opera to me Jason, I don’t care either way. I’m just entertained by all of it.”

“Fuck this, I’m not saying another word.”

“Oh come on! I’m just giving you a hard time. Go on with your story.”

“Forget it.”

“Go on Jason!”

“That’s pretty much all of it.”

“You’re lying, there’s plenty more.”

“No there isn’t.”

“So then what?”

“So then nothing,” he said and fell silent.

Angela glared at him, “Don’t tell me you were jealous.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You’re lying again, I can tell already.”

Jason gave in, bidding a slight confessional, “I was conflicted, ok?”

“Sure you were. Jan turned the tables on you and you didn’t like it.”

“I just didn’t expect it, that’s all.”

“Oh my God,” Angela whispered to the air. “You men are all the same. So what does Chloe think of all this?”

Jason shrugged, “I don’t know, I haven’t talked to her since it happened.”

Angela let out a sniff, “Real good, ASSHOLE!”

“Why am I an asshole?” he yelled.

“You got me feeling sorry for both girls. I can’t believe what an insensitive prick you are. You are just like Matt.”

“Oh shut up!”

“You are! How long has it been since you’ve talked to her?”

Jason looked up to her and shamefully admitted, “About a week.”

“A week!”

“I’ve been in Pennsylvania all week, and then I came here.”

Angela rolled her eyes and whispered, “Asshole.”

“Look, I didn’t call her for a reason.”

“Which is?”

He stood up, “I had to sort this shit out in my head, that’s all.”

“Awwww, poor Jason. He needs to think. Give me a break.”

“Look, I could care less what you really think. I did what I felt was right. It’s a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Thank God.”

“You suck Angela.”

“I don’t think so, Asshole.”

“Whatever, it’s done now. I know what I want, and what I don’t want.”

“Good for you.”

“Exactly.”

Angela went to her hall closet, “Your little drama has worked me up an appetite. You ready to go eat?”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, you’re eating for two now.”

“Yes, and I’m starving. So hurry your ass up.”

Jason grabbed his coat, “Can I make a quick call first?”

“HURRY UP.”

Jason went into the kitchen to dial Chloe’s number. An error message came through, saying the number couldn’t be dialed, or reached. He dialed again, same error. He jammed the phone down, “What the hell is wrong with your phone?”

“Were you calling dad?”

“No. I was calling Chloe in Salem.”

Angela smiled, “Gee, I wonder what gave you that idea.”

“Why can’t I get through?” he asked frantically, ignoring her sarcasm.

“I took the long distance option off,” she explained.

“Why?”

“Because my phone bills were outrageous. Between talking to mom and Jean-Luc… I just cut it off.”

“Yeah, but Mom’s always talking to you.”

“That’s cuz I got a cell phone with a 500 minute plan.”

“Shit!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I want to talk to Chloe.”

“Oh NOW you do.”

“Where’s you cell?”

“I gave it to Dad in case he needed to reach us.”

“Fuck!”

“Settle down Jason. You’ve gone a whole week without talking to her, what’s another day or two going to matter?”

Jason ran his fingers through his hair, “I just want to talk to her. I know you don’t believe me, but I do. I’ve been thinking about her.”

Angela eyed him tenderly and beamed, “Come on, I’ve got a calling card. You can call her from a pay phone.”

Jason zipped up his coat, “Let’s roll.”

Jason found an empty phone in the lobby of Angela’s apartment lobby. He shooed her away when she stood behind him to eavesdrop. He dialed the calling card code and Chloe’s number. He waited impatiently through a trail of answered rings. He became discouraged when there is no answer after the tenth ring. “Come on, come on, answer,” he whispered. After the thirteenth ring, he hung up.

He turned to Angela and motioned to leave. He swallowed, feeling immense regret for the way things left off. He wondered if he made things irreversible. Did Chloe think of him the way Angela did, as a first class asshole?

*********

Chloe was carrying a handful of groceries up the stairs when she heard the phone ringing. She fumbled through her purse for the keys before giving them a clumsy jab into the keyhole. She broke her way through the doorway just as the phone stopped ringing. She cursed and set the groceries down on the kitchen counter.

Her curiosity got the best of her. She checked the caller ID, finding “3 New Calls” on the display. She fingered through the display: Brady Black, Craig Wesley, and the most recent that she just missed, Pay Phone with an area code she didn’t recognize. She returned to the kitchen to put away her groceries and grabbed a spoon for her ice cream.

Once finished, she sat at the counter eating her ice cream. Her thoughts fell on the unusual phone call. A few minutes later, she found the phone and dialed the displayed number. After no answer, she dialed the operator. She recited the number and asked for the location.

“Hold for one moment,” the operator responded as she typed her entry.

“K,” Chloe whispered as she scooped up a spoonful.

“That call came from a payphone...”

“Oh,” she mumbled, disappointed with the obvious.

(More typing)

“In New York City.”

Chloe froze, and managed to whisper a thank you before hanging up.

Jason!

He actually called her. She knew it was him. She broke down on Thursday and called his house after not seeing him in school all week. Jackie explained that Jason went out of town with his father to Pennsylvania and New York to see his sister.

Chloe sat down, mind racing, no longer hungry. She sat her ice cream in front of her and caught her breath.

He actually called. But why? To say what?

Maybe he called to say he didn’t want to see her anymore. Maybe he called to say that he was still in love with Jan, her deepest fears whispered.

No. He called her. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have called. No guy would go out of his way to dump a girl from half way across the country. Maybe Brady was right. Maybe the whole situation wasn’t as awful as she thought it was.

Jason baby, please call back. Please call. Please, please, please. Say it was all one big nightmare.

******************

Author note, lessons learned: Us women tend to do that. Drive ourselves crazy with unnecessary fears. Face it, men don’t communicate exactly the way us women want them too. They have their own little way, which drives us crazy. We just got to be patient… When they’re ready to talk, they’ll talk.