“You really look wonderful tonight,” Paul told Emma as he walked her home later that night.
“Thank you,” Emma smiled. They walked down the street, arms linked, her head on his shoulder. “I’m going to miss you when you go to Hamburg.”
“I’m going to miss you too, but it won’t be for long and before you know it I will be back.”
“What am I going to do though? All my friends are leaving me. Cyn and I have to stay in Liverpool while you get to go and have all the fun.”
They had reached Emma’s house. “You can come visit maybe. I know Cyn will be coming.” Then he started laughing.
“What?” Emma questioned.
“I’m just laughing at what John said to me tonight while you and Cyn went to go get drinks. He told me that if I hurt you or mistreated you in any way I had him and Stuart to answer for.”
Emma smiled, her heart growing more with love for her two best friends.
Emma looked into his eyes and smiled. “Goodnight Paul.”
He leaned forward and gave her a gentle goodnight kiss. “Goodnight Emma.”
“You promise to write?” Emma asked Paul one last time. They had all gathered at Pete Best’s house, the new drummer they had acquired for Hamburg, to say their goodbyes.
“I’ll write twice a day.” Paul smiled giving her a kiss.
Emma threw her arms around him. “Be careful,” she whispered into his hear.
“I will.”
Next she went to Stuart and wrapped her arms around him. “Have fun. Maybe you will meet some nice German girl and fall helplessly in love.”
Stuart smiled at the idea. “I’ll watch over Paul for you.” He told her, knowing that was on her mind.
Cyn and Emma stood together waving as the van carrying the men they loved disappeared from site.
Dearest Emma,
Hamburg. What words can I use to describe it!? Thrilling. Fantastic. Mind blowing. And then you enter the Reeperbahn. It’s like you are entering a whole new world. Drunken sailors and prostitutes litter the streets while women sit naked in windows. We have the luxury of staying at the Indra Club. We sleep on bunk beds in a tiny room that is located behind the movie screen that plays movies while we try and sleep under the flags that we have to use as covers. Now we head over to the Kaiserkeller. This is where we play every night for hours and hours at a time. If I said I was enjoying myself I would be lying. It’s really horrible, Emmie. I’m exhausted and miserable but I won’t complain. One thing I'm sure about since I've been here, I hate brutality. There is so much in this area. . .
Stuart
Emma,
I’ve only just arrived here and already I miss you. I’m sure you want to here all about what Hamburg is like. I’m not sure if I want to tell you. It seems all nice until you enter this area called the Reeperbahn. I can’t even begin to describe it. It’s something you need to see with your own eyes. So it’s even more of an excuse for you to come here. . .
Love,
Paul
Emmie,
I’m sure you’ve gotten letters from Stu and Paul describing what Hamburg is like so I wont go into that again. I’ll just go into all the sexy details of the streets of the Reeperbahn! You’re looking after Cyn for me I hope. I miss her something fierce and I don’t want her to be lonely or worried. I am dead tired. We play all night and all day to a bunch of drunks who don’t even listen to our music. This guy Burt is always yelling at us to Mach Shau! So that is just what we do. . .
John
“Do you see anyone?” Cyn asked as she and Emma stepped off the train.
Emma scanned the crowded station. “No, I don’t, oh, wait, Stuart!” She saw him running down the platform with John right behind him. They ran up to them and within seconds Cyn was in John’s arms and Emma in Stu’s.
“Oh, I’ve missed you!” Emma cried through tears.
“We’ve only been away for a few months.” Stuart laughed, putting her down.
“I know, but I’ve never been away from you for so long before. It’s just good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too.” He looked over at John and Cyn who were locked in a passionate embrace. “Think we can break those two apart for a few minutes so we can get back home?”
Emma laughed. “We may need a crow bar but I think we can do it.”
They managed to pull apart the reunited couple and went to retrieve the luggage.
“So where are the others?” Emma asked when they had settled into the taxi that would take them to the hotel she and Cyn were staying at.
“They had some stuff to take care of,” John answered. “We all couldn’t come and get you.”
They talked non-stop and before they knew it, they were at the hotel.
“You get to live in luxury while we stay in the shite hole of a movie theater,” John complained as he helped with the suitcases.
“It’s all in the joys of making it big, John.” Emma smiled, patting him on the shoulder as they entered the hotel.
John made a face and playfully shoved her away from him.
Once the girls got checked in, the guys came with them up to their room where they dropped their bags. Then they took a taxi to the club that the band was playing at.
Emma’s stomach filled with butterflies as they entered the club. It was pretty empty because it was fairly early in the day. It was also dark and she had trouble making out the faces.
Then, as if by magic, a ray of sunlight moved over a face standing by the bar. He smiled at her and then started making his way over to the group standing in the doorway. Emma didn’t wait for him to get to her. She ran and threw her arms around him.
“Oh, Paul, I’ve missed you so much!”
Paul covered her face with kisses. “I’ve missed you too!”
“Hey, I’ve been gone for months too. Don’t I get a kiss?”
Emma laughed and turned around to see the lopsided grin that she loved. “I’ve missed you George,” she smiled, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “No one is willing to talk about cars and motorbikes with me.”
“Well you’re here now.”
The group settled down at one of the tables and relayed the events of the past few months. At around six the Cyn and Emma took a taxi back to their hotel to get ready for tonight’s concert.
Cynthia put on her fish net stockings and a black knee length skirt then slipped into a fitted dark blue blouse. She combed her hair and slipped on a black hair band.
Emma put on a deep purple blouse and then put on her black leather pants that she had only worn once before. She left her hair down, letting it freely fall down her back.
“I don’t know if Paul will be able to concentrate tonight when he sees you in those!” Cyn laughed when Emma had come out of the bathroom.
“You look amazing too.” Emma complimented Cyn. “Now, lets get down going. I want to get good seats.”
The two friends walked down to the lobby and were just about to walk outside when they were approached by a young man.
“You are Cyn and Emma, yes?” He asked in a German accent.
Emma looked at him suspiciously then nodded her head.
“I am Klaus Voorman. I am friends with Beatles. John asked me to come pick up you.”
Emma smiled, relieved that he wasn’t some crazy freak. She remembered Stuart mentioning him in one of his letters. “You’re the artist, right?” She asked.
Klaus smiled and nodded his head. “Come on, we don’t want to be late for the show.” They followed him out to a taxi that was waiting for them.
“Stuart tells me that you are amazing painter,” Klaus said to Emma once they were in the taxi.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” she started to answer.
“Don’t listen to her!” Cyn interrupted. “She is a brilliant painter. Better than some of the greats. She wont be the first to admit that she is good.”
Klaus looked at Emma and laughed while Emma glared at Cyn.
They arrived at the club and Klaus payed the driver. “You can meet my friends inside. I have feeling you will hit off well.” They followed him into the club. It was already in full swing with a band playing on stage. He lead them to a table near the front where two people were seated.
“Dies ist Emma und Cynthia.” He said to the two sitting at the table. Then he turned to Emma and Cyn.
“This is Jurgen Volmer,” he said first pointing to a man dressed in a purple velvet suit with a ruffle white blouse. His hair reminded Emma of Julius Caesar. Next he pointed to the woman sitting at the table. “This is Astrid Kircherr.” Astrid was dressed in all black. A black leather shirt and a black tight blouse. Her hair was short, pixie like. Stuart was always talking about her in his letters.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Emma smiled, extending her hand.
Astrid shook it and smiled. “It is nice to meet you too,” Astrid replied.
Cyn and Emma the settled themselves down at the table and waited for The Beatles to come on.
“So, Stuart tells me you are an artist.” Astrid spoke, turning to look at Emma. “Ein sehr guter Küünstler.”
Emma looked at Klaus for a translation.
“She said you are a very good artist.”
Emma laughed. “That’s what people keep telling me. At some point I guess I will have to believe them.”
Astrid smiled and turned to Cyn. “John says you are good artist too.”
Cyn blushed. “John’s never said that to me.”
“Oh, he is always talking about you,” Klaus was saying. “This last week all he talks about is ‘Cyn is coming!’ He’s just waiting to see you.”
That made Cyn blush even more.
Just then a man stepped onto the small stage at the back of the bar. “Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren, Der Beatles!”
Emma sat in amazement as she watched The Beatles perform. They were still her friends, yet they had changed. Gone was the innocence, in was the maturity and confidence. They jumped around that stage as if they owned it. Their outfits had changed, too. Leather has entered their wardrobe.
Through the entire performance, Emma sat at the edge of her seat, unable to take her eyes off of them.
George sang the last song and before he finished the last chord, John and Paul had put down their guitars and were off the stage and over to the table before George even finished.
Paul had Emma up from her chair and in his arms. He kissed her and she eagerly kissed him back.
“I’ve missed you,” she managed to say between kisses.
“I’ve missed you,” Paul answered, continuing his kisses.
They were introduced to Astrid and Klaus and Jurgen. Then they all went to Astrid’s house.
Cyn and Emma’s visit to Hamburg was fun and exciting. Astrid had let Emma take some of her pictures of the group so Emma could paint them.
At the train station there was promises of quick returns and I love you’s. Then Emma and Cyn were on a train back to Liverpool.
Emma was at home, reading a book and escaping the rain that was pouring outside. Her mother and grandmother were out shopping and she was enjoying the peace and quiet when there was a knock at her door. She put down her book and got off the couch, walked to the door and opened it.
“Paul!” She cried when she saw who was standing on her doorstep. She flung her arms around him. “You’re not supposed to be back yet!”
He just walked past Emma into the house. She gave him a quizzical look as she shut the door and then followed him into the living room. He was sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his hands covering his face. Emma sat down beside him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder.
“Paul?”
He shook his head. “It’s over, Emmie.”
Her heart pounded and for a split second she thought that he meant that he and she were over but he corrected her assumption.
“The band is over.”
“What?”
Paul lifted his head and looked Emma in the eyes. “Pete and I were deported. George was deported and who knows what John is doing.”
Emma sat there in shock. “What happened?”
Paul started to explain. “They thought Pete and I were trying to burn down the movie house. What really happened was we were packing up our stuff because we were moving to the Star Club, so we stuck a condom on the wall and lit it on fire to get some light. We had no intentions of burning down the bloody theater!”
Emma couldn’t help but laugh at the situation and she laughed even harder when Paul looked at her because he had this look of shock and disbelief that she would laugh at his horrible situation, but soon a smile broke across his face and they spent the next few minutes laughing.
“I’m sorry!” Emma finally managed to say. “It isn’t funny at all. What about poor George?”
“They found out he wasn’t 18 yet. No one would have found out if it wasn’t for Bruno. We were leaving his club and going to better, the top ten. So he got the cops in.”
“Aw, you poor thing. The band is no more, then?”
Paul got up and began pacing the room. He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “I don’t know,” he answered, shrugging his shoulders. “I really don’t know.”
John showed up at her doorway a week later. He was all depressed when he came into her house and did just as Paul did, sat down on her couch and put his head in his hands.
“It’s all over,” he moaned into his hands.
Emma put a consoling arm around him. “Maybe you just need a few weeks away from each other so you guys can sort everything out and then get back together. Did Stuart come back?”
“Yeah, he’s back at the flat all depressed because he had to leave Astrid.”
“I like Astrid. I’m glad Stuart found her.”
“Me too,” John agreed.
“So, what will you do now?” Emma asked John.
“Not sure,” he responded.
“Just don’t worry about anything. It will all work out in the end and before you know it you’ll be at the top.”
That brought a smile to John’s lips. “And don’t forget, I am taking you with me.”
“Stuart?” Emma tapped lightly on his front door as she came into his apartment. She looked around and almost didn’t see him slouched down in a chair by the window. She walked across the room and crouched down beside him, resting her arms on the arm of the chair.
Stuart moved his head and looked at Emma, a smile breaking across hi face. “Guess you heard we were back.”
“Yeah. You doing okay?”
Stuart let out a little laugh. “Just completely fucking miserable, but that’s about it.”
Emma smiled. “I’m sure you will see her again.”
“I’m going crazy, Emmie. I haven’t been able to paint anything. All I can think about is Astrid.”
“You really are in love, aren’t you?”
“In as much love as you can be in, Em.”
Emma was so happy for her friend. She had Paul, John had Cyn and now Stuart had Astrid. “I’m happy that you’re happy, Stuart. I really liked Astrid.”
“She really liked you. I knew you would hit it off. I just hope we get back to Hamburg before I go absolutely crazy!”
The Beatles got back together after a few weeks of wallowing in their own misery. They made an appearance at The Cavern club and then were asked to come back to Hamburg to play at the Star Club. They would be payed 100 pounds each and would sleep in a nice hotel this time.
The night before they left Paul took Emma to Strawberry Field.
“Back to the scene of the crime,” he whispered to Emma as he pulled a bouquet of roses that were hidden in the branches of a tree. They lay down on the blanket he had brought.
“How romantic, Mr. McCartney. Moonlight, roses, it’s magic.”
Paul leaned over and gently kissed Emma, pulling her down onto the ground. They kissed for a while then lay in each other’s arms, enjoying the moment.
“What do you see in your future?” Emma asked.
“You,” Paul said, kissing the tip of her nose.
“Oh really?”
“Yes.” His arms tightened around her. “I see us together, married. I, a famous rock star, and you a famous artist. We’ll have a flat in London and when we have to get away from everything we can escape to our farm in Scotland and ride our horses at sunset. I see a family. Us just happy.”
Emma snuggled into Paul. “That sounds like a brilliant future.” Then she got quiet. “I wish you were going away again.”
“I wish I didn’t have to leave you, either, but this is something great for the band.”
Emma felt a twinge of jealousy over the prominent place music held in Paul’s life. Sometimes it seemed that the band was more the center of his world than she was. The feelings were childish, but that didn’t stop them from coming. “Well, if you get to the top, I’ll promise to buy all your records, how does that sound?”
“If I go to the top, you’re coming with me.”
“Really? And what would I do? Organize your social calendar and commercial endorsements?”
“Not to worry - I’ll find something for you to do.” He plucked a red rose from the bouquet lying on the ground next to them and pulled the stem through her silky strawberry blond hair above her ear. “I’ll cover you in roses someday, Emma - girl. And you wont be able to refuse me anything.”
She laughed. “For every flower, you’ll get a kiss.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
As was before, Emma kept in touch with her friends via letters and the occasional phone call while the band was in Hamburg. Even Astrid and Klaus were writing her.
One Friday afternoon, just as Emma got home from school, her phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hey Emmie!”
“Stuart!”
“Hi. What’s up?’
“Nothing, I just got back from school.” Emma took the phone and flopped down on her couch. “So what do I owe the honors of this phone call?”
“I have some good news and some bad news.”
“Give me the good news first, no wait, no, yes the good news first.”
Stuart laughed. “Well, the good news is, I asked Astrid to marry me and she said yes!”
Emma nearly dropped the phone, then let out a shriek. “Oh my god!! Oh, congratulations!” She could just see Stuart smiling on the other end of the phone. “Have you picked a date?”
“Sometime in June.” Stuart answered.
“Oh this is such good news. Tell Astrid, congratulations from me and that she is one lucky girl!”
“I will.”
“Now I’m not so sure if I want the bad news. Well, it’s not bad news, you just might be a little disappointed.”
“Don’t leave me hanging!”
“I got accepted to the Hamburg school of art. I’m quitting the band and staying in Hamburg.”
Emma could feel her heart start to pound and she got this sick empty feeling in her stomach. Stuart wasn’t coming back to Liverpool with the rest of the group. She had just lost her closest and dearest friend in a matter of seconds.
“Emmie, you still there?”
“Yeah,” she managed to whisper.
“Are you mad?”
“No! God no. Just surprised and sad. What will I do without you?” She could feel the tears sliding down her cheeks.
“It’s not like I will never see you again, Em. I’m just in a different city.”
“I know.” Wiping away the tears, she took a deep, unsteady breath. “I’m happy that you got accepted to the art school. I was beginning to worry you might actually stick with the music.”
Stuart laughed. “As you have heard, it’s for the best that I leave the band now before I totally ruin their chances of any success!”
“Does John know yet?”
“He’s next on my list.”
“He’ll be happy for you. He always knew you would leave the band eventually.” Stuart didn’t reply and Emma heard him gasp as if in pain. “Stuart?”
“Yeah?” He managed to say.
“Are you okay?”
There was a pause. “I’m fine. Just a headache. I’m going to have to go. I’ll talk to you later, Em.”
“Okay. Bye Stuart.”
“Bye Emmie.”
Emma hung up the phone and sat, staring at the wall, absorbing every word from the conversation she just had with Stuart. She had just lost a friend. Little did she know that in a few months, she too, would be leaving behind Liverpool for something else.
The guys came back, minus Stuart. She knew right away that John was upset about leaving Stu in Hamburg, but she didn’t say anything because she knew that is she did, he wouldn’t admit it.
Paul took her out to dinner the night after he got back and just after their ordered their meals, he pulled out a small black velvet box from the inside pocket of his dark-brown leather jacket. He placed it down on the table in front of Emma.
She looked at Paul then down at the box and then back up at Paul. “What is this?” She asked, confused.
Paul laughed. “Open it!” He encouraged her.
Emma pick up the little box and slowly opened the lid. Her eyes grew wide. Inside the box was a ring. It was a silver band with a three tiny sapphire stones in bedded in the band. “Oh, Paul,” she breathed, looking up into his chocolate brown eyes.
“There’s an inscription.”
Emma tilted the ring. “With you I am complete,” she read out loud. That did it. Tears slowly slipped down her cheek.
“This wasn’t supposed to make you cry!” Paul laughed, reaching across the table and gently brushing away the tears with his fingers.
“It’s just so beautiful,” Emma breathed.
Paul took the ring from her and then lightly slipped it on to her ring finger on her left hand. “A perfect fit,” he murmured, kissing her lightly on her lips.
When Emma got home that night there was a letter addressed to her sitting on the table by the door. When she saw the return address in the upper left corner her heart began to beat faster.
“It came for you while you were out,” her mother said, entering the hallway.
Emma tore it open with shaky hands and pulled out the letter. She almost fainted when she read it.
“Well?” Her mother asked, anticipating her daughter’s answer.
Emma couldn’t speak so she just handed her mother the letter.
“Dear Miss. James. Congratulations and welcome to New York University!” Her mother looked up at her daughter and let out a scream “You got in!”
“I got in!” Emma cried, throwing her arms around her mother.
Emma couldn’t wait until morning to share her good news so she hopped onto her old five speed rusted green bike with the ripped up leather seat and rode all the way to Mendips. Once there she threw her bike down on the ground and ran up the walkway, pounding on John’s front door.
Thankfully it was john who answered her knock and when he opened the door, Emma flung her arms around him. “I got in!” She cried.
John pulled Emma away, laughing. “Calm down! Take a deep breath and then tell me again what you just babbled.
Emma took a deep breath. “I was accepted to NYU!”
She watched John’s eyes widen and it was his turn to throw his arms around her. “This is fucking brilliant!”
He cried lifting her off the ground. “I am so bloody proud of you!”
Emma laughed. “Put me down!” When John obeyed, she showed him the letter.
“When do you leave?” He asked.
“I have to be there for January 6th. I want to get there a bit early I guess, so I can get accustomed to the city. Oh my god! I can’t believe I got in! This has always been a dream of mine!”
John smiled. “I’m glad your dream is coming true, Emmie,”
Paul didn’t take the news quite as well as John had. He got quiet and stared at the ground.
“It’s not that far away,” Emma tried to make light of the news.
“New York City is that far away,” Paul stated.
Emma sat down on an empty park bench. She twisted around the ring on her finger. Seeing Paul like this frightened her. “It’s not like we will never see one another again.”
Paul sighed and sat down beside Emma on the bench. “I know.” He grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. “We can work this thing out.”
Emma rested her head on Paul’s shoulder. “I don’t want to leave you, but this is something I have wanted since I first picked up a paint brush.”
She felt Paul sigh again. “I know. I know how important your art is to you and you have totally supported my music career.” He turned his head and Emma looked up at him. A smile broke across his face. “Maybe you’ll turn into one of those Beat freaks and start wearing barrettes and smoke cigarettes and hang out at coffee houses listening to people read their bad poetry while jazz plays in the background.”
Emma lightly punched Paul on the shoulder. “Stop knocking jazz! I just got Chet Baker and I am in love!”
Paul pouted. “What about me? Have you sworn off rock n roll?”
“Of course not,” she smiled, kissing the tip of his nose. “It’s just moved down a number on my list of good music!” She quickly jumped off the bench, getting a head start as Paul came charging after her.
Dear Stuart,
I’VE BEEN ACCEPTED TO NYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s crazy! I’m still in shock I think! There has been mixed reactions from the crowd though, I can’t tell if they are really happy for me or are disappointed that I will be leaving them. Oh, I hadn’t given that much thought. I am going to be thousands of miles from my closest dearest friends, not knowing a soul in New York. What am I going to do? This is too much to absorb at the moment. Let me go into another subject before my head explodes! Don’t tell Paul this, but you’re bass playing was way more effective. It’s just not the same seeing Paul play your instrument! You can paint and play bass you know. . .
Dear Emma,
CONGRATULATIONS! You are going to be fine in New York and don’t worry about everyone else. They will come around. I’m sure it was quite a surprise. You are going to wow those Americans with your paintings and you’ll adjust in no time. I guess I will have to get up to Liverpool before you leave. Christmas. I am bringing Astrid up to meet mum. Oh, Astrid says hi and congratulations. As for me returning to The beatles . . . I have honestly thought about it! But I know I made the right decision. I’m doing fine though I have been having these headaches . . .
On Paul’s 19th birthday Emma gave him a silver ID bracelet that had “Paul” inscripted on the front. On the back it read “You have my heart, love Emma.”
A week later a big box wrapped in gold wrapping paper appeared on Emma’s front step. Her name was neatly printed on a small white card that was attached to the lid of the box. She carried into her house and set it down on her kitchen table. She tore away the gold paper and removed the lid. It was full of white tissue paper. She began digging through it until her hands grasped a lang narrow box. She pulled that out and removed it’s lid. Inside was a silver ID bracelet with “Emma” in scripted on the front. Flipping it over she read the back, “You have my heart, Paul.”
The Beatles got a new manager in 1961. Brian Epstein. He worked at a record store where the boys often frequented. One day he came into the Cavern and before you knew it he was their manager. And did he have influence over them! He got them out of their Hamburg leather and into dress pants and ties.
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