Hello everyone, 

I don’t know how to say this but Id like to share a few things about my mother.

My mothers name is Phyllis and IM Brenda. So please bare with me I have never done this before.

Imp the youngest writing this story and my name is Brenda. Today I’m 42 years old

I’m divorced and have four children of my own, three girls and one boy. Three grandsons

Laugh...yes I’m a grandma. I wouldn’t trade them for nothing in the world.

       Phyllis came from a large family of twelve children. She is a twin of a brother name Leroy.

T here is only three children alive to day the others have processed in death along with grandpa and grandma.

Phyllis 's younger brother died in the Palm Sunday Tornado in the late 60's.He was only 15 yrs old.

Phyllis married at a young age of 16.   She married a man name Leo.  They had eleven children together.

Eight girls and three boys.

I could tell you a little about my child HUD. .... I was very young when my father died and didn’t know him very will, but I do remember some little things that were important to me at that time. He was an alcoholic.went to the bar very morning. When he would come home I remember I and my sister Linda would be waiting on the porch for him, for we knew he had candy for us, which was these pink and white and chalky taste to them. He would have them in his pocket and they would have lint all over them, we would lick our fingers and rub the lint off and eat them. We as kids didn’t care about the lint. Other wise I don’t remember much of him.

Phyllis 's first husband Leo decreased in 1969. Then she remarried to a man name Denver on the last day of 69'

Denver married Phyllis with an already made family. Together they never had any children of their own. But Denver thought every much of the younger one for she was only eight yrs old when they got together. So to him he took her as his own. Like a stepfather would.

My mother was an alcoholic for many years. My stepfather was a weekend alcoholic. My mother would drink and drive which I hated it, but what could a small girl do and say. Not a thing. How would listen to such a child. No one does when they drink.  Mom got into two car accidents .I remember laying in bed one time when her and Denver came home drunk and mom came upstairs in her room and I could hear mom crying out to the lord. Hey remember what I said >>>>>> she was drunk >>>>>>> she ask god to help her stop drinking. I heard her say lord if I take one drink again I want you to take my life. That’s how I want help. You know what? My mother from that night on NEVER EVER touches a bottle of beer again. You know why (right) that’s right she knew what would happen to her for she asks for it. I was so scared as a kid that my mother didn’t and wouldn’t think that god would believe in her that night for she was drunk. So I thought she would drink again someday and god would take her from me. But she fooled me. She held up to her bargin with god. I was so proud of my mom. What a different s it made between my mom and me. She was a total different person. I loved her for that. She was one lady I wouldn’t trade for nothing in the world. Denver still drink on the weekends and mom would take him where ever he wanted to go, but she never drunk with him. Denver quit drinking after about a year or so after mom did.

Denver is from the south (ky area) Phyllis is from Michigan where they lived for many years.

Phyllis was a diabetic and went blind many years ago. Watch took a big part out of her life away. As it would anyone. Once you can see the world and then you cant, it is an awful thing .I couldn’t even stop and think twice. Try closing your eyes and amagin what you see ...yes nothing but darkness.... can you live like that everyday. Never to beable to see light ever again. Can’t even see your love ones and once you did and it all is wiped away from you. What a feeling that would be .My mother lived in her own world, as I knew because I was there when it all took place. And her world was a lonely one. They lived out in the country at that time and us girls talked them into moving in town so we could help her for she lost her driver license do to the blindness. Denver had never had a license in his life.... not even when he got out of the military. In 1942.But when they moved to town and he realized he must get them.for there own reasons he did .I drove them to there doctor appointments that was out of town like Ann Arbor and Battle Creek Michigan when they had to go. (Anytime’s) They would come to my house everyday ...they had to see the grandbabies no matter what. So they say. Loved having them around. Denver took care of our mother thought all her sickness ...being blind and all he was there for her. ntil.........

Will one day I moved to Indiana in 1998... which was one hour and a half from them ...what a mistake I made

Moved here in April of that year and on May 2 mom and a heart attack and a stroke. Right on my birthday.

I was so afraid that she would die before I got to her. Thinking the whole way there NOT on my birthday mom.

But she pulled through it. Thank god for answers. I went back home when I could to see them and once I brought mom home here for a week to visit. She loved that. Being with me.

Now it’s the year of 2001.... I got a phone call just before going to work that day. It was a nursing home in Michigan saying that my father was hitting on my mother. Will me knowing him...he had never hit my mom .So I knew he was sick and something was wrong in the picture .Now Im all ready upset for I didn’t even know they were in a home. For no one called me to tell me so-So I go to Michigan nursing home with in the next 2 hours I arrived ...finding my stepfather hardly breathing. On oxygen ...sitting in chair all lend over.my mother is laying in bed witch they had both of there beds put together ...so here is why my step-father was hitting my mother.... he couldnt breath wanting my mom to help him.... sad when she knew nothing for they had her all druged up she didnt even know we were there.she slept right through it all.not like her.so I called the ambulanceand they got there ...hum they ask him what was a matter ...and the man couldnt even answer back. No breath to speak. No air. When they got him to the hospital, the doctor told me that if I had gotten him there when I did we would have lost him.... Now ...why... didnt the nursing call a ambulance when they knew he couldnt breath.hummmm.... what I say...abuse...what let him died like many others do.... for they cant help them selfs...have no choice but to starve to death in some cases for they dont take the time to care for them.... believe me Ive been there I have wathced. So back to him in hospital. He stayed there for nine days. I found out something I didn’t know...he had a blood disorder. Cancer.the doctor told me he could help him this time but he will keep getting sick his lungs would fill up with fluid called ammonia. And that is what would take him .I cleaned our there apartment me and my sister Linda.whom I called in wisconsin.came home on the train to help me for I had no help. We moved and cleaned everything up in the apartment and moved it here in Indiana so when I got Denver out of hospital I would get mom and bring them home with me. Which I brought Denver home but we had to do an out of state transfer for mom. Mean while I had Denver home with my sister and me lynx for three days and he got sick again and he wanted to go to ft Wayne veteran hospital. Which I did what he wanted. There he stayed for until he got back on his feet. About two weeks .He knew something was wrong...he didn’t want to come back home with me for we hadn’t got mom here she was still in Michigan ...all this time waiting on the paper work...he told me he wanted to go back where mom was for he wanted to die there.... close to mom. Denver wanted to go to Kmart when him and me left the hospital that day. Why he wanted to get a hat.... he always wore a hat...lol  ...I went in and got him a Michigan hat...had the letter M   on it for Michigan right.... lol he thought it was for his last name martin...we had a nice day together me and him ... WE went to ky fired chicken ...Dariy queen. Made a whole day just me and him.... we talked about alot of things. Denver ask me something that day...made me promise him two things...a promise not to break ok...hey for I forget. He wanted to have a birthday party for my mom that month watch was in fib... we did just that.her 79th birthday.

1) The promise was..........not to let him be alone when he dies for he said he was scared, he ask me to be there with him

2) Bring my mother home with me here in Indiana.... to care for her the best way I could

                              PROMISED I WOULD

NOW FOR THE SAD PART.............A PROMISE I PROMISED GOT BROKE

HE got sick about two weeks later.... which I was back home. And I called there all the time checking inn

One day I couldn’t talk to him for the nurses said the cordless phone was tied up with someone else.

The nursing home knew I had P.O.A over them both.

The next day I get a phone call saying he had passed away ...in the hospital

Hum.... why no one from the nursing home called when they took him out to hospital

Will go figure.... one of my sisters had changed the phone number on the paper work ...will she had a nurse to do of course. So they called her instead.she went to hospital to be with him.... he was there from 6am until he passed away at 10:35am now ...who had P.O.A and who gives them the right to change phone numbers....

And why didn’t my sister call anyone or me??????? When she got there. No she wanted to be the one to say...what happen...to me she should have been there when they both needed someone the most not just when they are dieing.... not a christan to me.... god would have not done that...nor a allowed it....

SO YOU KNOW ...MY PROMISE TO HIM GOT BROKE AND WHY

I did bring my mother home here in Indiana...had to have her put in nursing home for she needed 24.7 care

And I was a full time employer... had no one here to help me with her...

You know what...that was the worst thing I ever went through with my mother.... putting her back in a nursing home

No one would known it broke my heart so bad as to put her there and watch her be so lonely.

In a place she didn’t know anyone. Let alone she couldn’t see anyone. She could only feel/I would watch her in pain in her own ways...

My mother was a kind person she didn’t have an ugly bone in her body .she loved all.

She loved the lord ...when she could see she read the bible all the time...she had many bibles on hand.

My mother favorite color was lavender.

Let me tell you what mother went through in this nursing home..........

My mother had many boo boo's she would fall all the time...unknown the real truth

My mother wouldn’t tell you if someone was hurting her or not....

Had to laugh a few time s when the girls at the home got this fake doll as big as a person ...and sat it by mother.on the couch...so mom could fell her for she was always wanting to touch someone because she was lonely and afraid. Mother would feel the doll up and down.... and called out to the girls.hey someone needes to put cream raise in her hair lol...mom was not stupid in any way.she know what those girls did to her...she didnt and had not lost her mind...she just couldnt see...they all thought different thoy...mothers mind would come and go...she had ask me one day where denver was...I didnt want to tell her because at his funeral the michigan nursing home had her all druged up she couldnt remember it.they were afraid she would have a heart attack if she knew......what was going on ...denver was my mothers life....mother was denvers life

I would watch my mother cry out all the time ...I would go get my mom on different time and bring her home for the day which when I could.... and I hated taken her back. She hated me to take her back also...she would cry.... say Brenda do I have to go back there??? No one knows how bad that would hurt me to take her back then I know she didn’t want to go there.... my heart would be in so much pain...I couldn’t hardly stand it

She is my mother.... I wouldn’t have known what to do if I didn’t have my sister Linda bye my side through all with mom. My sister would come often to help with the fear and loneliness my mother would have. Thank god for some sisters...I love her so much for being there for mom and I.

Wouldn’t have known what to do without her, She would come on train every time to from Wisconsin.

HEY LYN ...IF YOU GET TO READ THIS ANYTIME...........I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR MOM.... SHE KNEW LYN WHO WAS THERE AND WHO WASNT

Mother had asked me to get all her children together so she could be with them all....

Mother wanted to let go.but befor that was her wish...

So I called all.... and a few showed up...not mom's wish. I had to fill her wish some how...and darn -it I couldn’t and boy that hurt me so much inside for I know what she wanted.

My mother had a long haul at the nursing home.all her up and down's/// she got where she didnt want to eat...

The doctor told me that she was giving up...mother was 80 years old...she had nothing to live for...which she didn’t...only the two of us and to her that wasn’t enough.

We tried but we knew what mom wanted and lynx and I couldn’t make her children come....

I got a phone call around 6am on dec.19, 2002 say mom wasn’t doing good and I needed to hurry and get there

Oh my ...a day I didn’t want to face...

My mother had a massive stroke...she couldn’t move no part of her body...

They gave me a time ...with in two days her body would shut down....

I called everyone.... my sister Sharon and Cleo came right up stay all the time with her until the moment came for mom...hours later two more sisters came up for a few hours and lifted her. Next day another one (sister) came up and believe me what was a sad case for her.... she couldn’t have cared less.about mom all I have to say.... she stayed out side with her boy friend (husband) what ever you call him.most of the time no heart there.

Another came from south Carolina and stayed a few hours and left mom.... so that was how many kids there ...(((she wanted all) remember?    7 of us but not 11 of us

I called my brother run and all he could say is call me when its all over //I be there.... he said he couldn’t come home twice...incase she didn’t go...he hadnt seen his mother in years he lives in tx.and another one of my brother would be coming with him.he lives there also.my other brother we was trying to loctate him.hadnt heard from him in 2 or 3 years...but we did find him and he was at the funeral...

My sister Linda was on train had to pick her up at 12:15 on the friday.dec 21. Being it was a holiday weekend CHRISTMAS the only ride time was on that Friday. But Linda did call several times and let mom hear her voice until she could get there. Linda would cry ...bran don’t let my die before I get there I want to tell her something...

 I had to leave around 11:30pm on deck .21 to go get my sister from the train station ...while we were gone

I and my sister Linda

Mother passed away before we could get back.... YOU KNOW WHAT ...MOM I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH

YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND NOT JUST MY MOTHER...MAMA I MISS YOU

MOM I LOVE YOU MOM...ANGEL ARE WITH YOU MOM

ONE LAST THING ID LIKE TO ADD ...HOW CAN ANYONE SAY WE ARE GOING TO MISS HER TO...WHEN YOU HAVENT SEEN HER IN YEARS

MY HEART HURT FOR MY MOTHER.BECAUSE WHY.........I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HER.SHE KNEW IT.

THANKS FOR READING MY STORY.... ANGELSOFHEAVEN

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