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Mr. Harrelson [to Steven Harper, regarding Lauren Davis]: She gave my boy an F Steven: Because he thought Lincoln was a log, Washington was a Redskin, and Hamilton was a – [to Lauren] what was Hamilton? Lauren: A blender Dana Poole [to Lauren]: It’s because I like dressing this way, Miss Davis. I mean, I like you as a teacher and stuff, but are you a nun on weekends? Lauren: I’m not a nun! [To Steven] She called me a nun! Scott [to Lauren]: Oh, listen, Lauren. On another note, did you enjoy the bridge game on Tuesday? Lauren: Oh, yes, actually, I did. You know, I’ve always wanted to learn. Thank you. Scott: Oh it was my pleasure. You were wonderful company. Lauren: Oh thank you, Scott. Scott: Listen, Lauren, um…th-uh-the New York Philharmonic is at Symphony Hall Saturday night. I have tickets. I’d love for you to join me [Short pause] Lauren: Oh… Lauren [entering the teachers’ lounge]: You’re not going to believe this. I just got asked out on a date by Guber. Kevin [sarcastically]: Thanks Lauren Lauren: Hey Kevin! Kevin: Don’t Kevin me. Kevin: Milton shouldn’t you be trying out for the online equestrian team? Steven [to Anthony Ward, in reference to the bullying]: Who did it? Anthony: Right… Steven: Look, Anthony, whoever put you in that locker doesn’t have to know you told me. Anthony: Well what’s he gonna think - he confessed? Lawyer [at meeting in reference to Jason Harrelson’s suspension from the football game]: Certainly we hope to resolve this without acrimony, and I believe that we can all agree what’s most important is Jason’s interest. Scott: May I stop you, Mr., that what’s most important is the welfare of the entire student body not simply Jason, and as a footnote I rarely find that bringing in an attorney helps to avoid acrimony. Harvey Lipshultz [to Kevin Jackson]: And tell me, Mr. Jackson, when this term is over, do you intend to sell your textbook as used or brand new? Harry Senate [to Marla Hendricks]: Marla, hey! You’re back! Marla: What do you mean, back? You mean mentally back. You think I’m some cracker. I’m not a cracker. Harry: Hey, I love crackers, okay, and the best ones are meant to crumble. Scott [to Malcolm White, in reference to the bullying of Anthony Ward]: …This school is a citizenry, Mr. Wh – Look at me, Sir. Look at me! Do we need to work on eye contact? You will continue looking at me until further notice. Sheryl Holt [to Lauren]: Miss Davis, I have ninety students working for me. I’m already more successful than you… Sheryl [to Marilyn Sudor]: Oh, uh, Miss Sudor, you finished number one in the poll! Marilyn: What poll? Sheryl: Which teacher the male students want to sleep with most. Marilyn [sarcastically]: Oh how nice. Sheryl [to Lauren]: You were seventh. Lauren: Seventh!? Marilyn [to Lauren]: Hey come on now Lauren [to Marilyn]: What, the girls think I’m a nun and the boys – seventh!? [Approaching Scott practicing eye contact in the hallway] Marilyn: Well, you’re first on his list. Harry [to the dungeon class, in reference to the gun]: Those are words that got one syllable, that’s what I think, and it works out well for most of you because it’s about all that you guys can spell. Steven [to Anthony in the emergency room]: Anthony, the worst has happened. He broke your head. You might as well tell me who did it. Anthony: It was an accident. Steven: An accident with who, son? Anthony: I don’t know. I got hit from behind. Steven: You accidentally got hit from behind? Steven [to Malcolm]: Hey! Malcolm! I just left Anthony in the emergency room. You have any idea how he got there? Malcolm: His parent’s probably drove him, sir. Scott [in reference to Sheryl Holt’s website, which depicts Steven turning into a gorilla and throwing Malcolm up against a locker]: Now that we might be able to shut down – it’s racism. Steven: Tha- no. I’m not a gorilla because I’m black, Scott. It’s because I turned into a gorilla. Harry [in reference to Jason Harrelson’s grade being upped to a D]: I was just trying to shock him with an F. Steven: Harry, if I hear you have money on this game… Harry: Dana, I take my job very seriously. Don’t screw with me! Dana: Then maybe you shouldn’t have screwed with me. Dana: You going to the game tonight? Harry [sarcastically]: Oh, yeah, why don’t you and I sit together. |