Opinion

Thinking, it hurts sometimes.

I don’t see why they wouldn’t be perfect for positions of power. The Supreme Court is said to be an arena of intelligence and wisdom. Who could be more intelligent and wise than a zombie? They’ve been around for more than their natural lives. They’ve seen a number of things in their extended lives, and they’ve faced more hardships than mortals ever could. Face it, zombies are perfect for a number of important roles. I’m not sure what we’d do to dress them up in apolitical job, though. Could we even make that feasible? Hmm, I wonder. Let’s see what kind of things could we do to make life after death a little more favorable for zombies? Well, first off we could clone their brains. Yes, I know that cloning humans is still frowned on by those in power, but think about it. We could just take the brains they have and make an exact copy that would not have the detriments of being slowed by death. It would certainly keep the justice system from slowing any further than it already has.

And we could of course dress them in something more stylish than the tattered rags that they wear. Could you imagine a zombie dressed in a long black judicial robe and a powdered white wig? It would offset the pasty grayish-green that is common among the dearly reanimated. Oh, and they would most assuredly have to wear make-up. It would keep the cosmetics industry going for millennia. Think about it… As soon as a person dies, they get reanimated and go right on using their cosmetics. More so, if you get down to it, because they have to use more to cover up the foul shade of their rotting skin. We shouldn’t discriminate against them, if we can help it. After all, zombies are simply mortally challenged human beings. They should be allowed all the rights and privileges that they retained in their mortal lives. Which in turn means that they could very feasibly be elected to official offices. Political offices are given to the most qualified individuals, right? Well actually…no not really. They’re given to the politician who can sling the most mud and make it stick. I’d say zombies, based on their experience and current state of being would have the best chance of securing such an office.

They would be a great way for the younger Supreme Court justices to keep their offices once they’ve expired. It would make elections a lot less tedious. You wouldn’t have to campaign much. The process would be quite simple, really. You’d elect the person you wanted to be on the Supreme Court. When they died, assuming that you still like them, all you’d have to do is wait a couple of days then justice would continue as normal. The only drawback to that would be when one of the justices is heavily mutilated. Their countenance might become so awful that their co-justices wouldn’t be able to stand it. Even zombies have taste. On that note, I could see the other zombies consuming their co-justices that were severely mutilated. Not from choice mind you, but merely because it is what they do. If you’ve seen any of the movies that Hollywood has put out containing zombies, you know that they are compelled to consume their companions whenever they are weakened. It speaks to the animalistic nature of human beings. We keep it carefully in check, this urge, but when the chips are down they taste really good with barbecue sauce.